Playing the Field: A Diamonds and Dugouts Novel (31 page)

No, she didn’t want to be with a celebrity. Everybody knew him and everybody had something to say about what he was doing. Being with him extended that attention onto her and Charlie. She had already discovered what that felt like with the tabloid photo. It sucked. Really, really sucked. Just the thought of it still made her want to hyperventilate and hide under a rock.

But there was JP on national television, larger than life, making a complete ass out of himself. Dancing and writing messages and declaring his feelings. All for her and her son because they mattered more to him than what anyone else could possibly say or think.

That creepy tabloid photographer was on screen in the background snapping away like crazy. And she didn’t care. Because JP clearly didn’t. He made her feel safe—even with the whole world watching.

Suddenly it all became very, very clear. Opinions were just that. Opinions. And fame was nothing more than an illusion. What she and JP had was real.

And it had taken the media for her to see it.

That’s when she knew. Beyond a shadow of a doubt and it stunned her.

She was still in love with JP.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

T
HE
S
ATURDAY MORNING
dawned clear and beautiful and JP was in his truck and on his way to Sonny’s before breakfast. He’d made his play and was going to see if it had paid off. With any luck she had decided to not be obstinate and had watched the game. It was a gamble with her stubborn streak though.

The sun had just risen as he headed up the interstate, casting the Front Range in a peaceful light. August had come on strong, drying out the grasslands and turning the foothills golden brown. But even in the dead of summer he could still make out tiny pockets of snow up on the Rocky Mountain peaks.

It was one of the things he really liked about living in Colorado. No matter the season, there was always a view. Back home in Iowa, though it was pretty, there was a whole lot of flat. And he liked his landscape bumpy.

Reaching out to hit the power button on the radio, he thought better of it and pulled his hand back. Nah, he thought. The quiet was good. It felt right. The whole way up, JP spent some quality time thinking about himself—who he was and who he wanted to be. Then he thought on how he behaved in the world and how that behavior affected other people. Other people that he cared for deeply.

He’d been wrong to be so insensitive to anyone else’s feelings, to steamroll simply because he’d assumed everyone was on the same page as him. And he’d been wrong to be so self-involved that he’d stood up a boy who’d been counting on him. Every time that message from the kid popped in his head he flinched. It was the most humbling dressing down he had ever experienced.

But he’d deserved it. Because the truth was he had been expecting the relationship to unfold in a particular way. His way. He’d decided that he wanted Sonny and that was that. Any opposition or reluctance he’d just bowled over without even blinking.

He did that sometimes. Most often he didn’t find fault with that particular character trait. But now he could see the flaws and drawbacks. Could see how his tunnel vision had a way of pushing everybody else’s feelings off to the side.

JP didn’t like what that said about him. For the most part he considered himself a good guy, but when he was slapped in the face with a big ol’ character flaw and its consequences, it made him recognize his shortcomings.

Personal growth was always damn humbling.

Catching sight of the turnoff to Sonny’s place, JP adjusted in his seat, feeling nervous. Last night he’d pulled out all the stops and done his best to make a huge gesture that she would recognize. And if she’d watched the game then he was sure she got it.

The questionable part was if she’d actually watched the game. Knowing that woman and how hard-headed she could be, she might well have not watched it out of spite. There wasn’t anything he would put past Sonny. And he’d thought of a contingency plan in case she hadn’t watched. It wasn’t nearly so good, but he still had a plan B, and that’s what mattered.

He just hoped to hell he wouldn’t have to use it.

The arching sign that spanned Sonny’s driveway entrance came into view and his gut tightened with anticipation. He liked her wood
SONNYSIDE FARMS
sign. On each end a sun rising over a vivid green pasture had been hand-painted, the sun’s golden rays stretching off into the horizon.

She’d made a good life for herself and Charlie, JP thought as his pickup passed underneath the sign. A life that focused on the things that really mattered, that were at the heart of living. Love, comfort, stability.

What she’d made wasn’t flashy or artificial. And because of that she had a terrific kid who she could be proud to call hers. All on her own, with nothing but her own determination and iron will, she’d created something wonderful.

Sonny was a hell of a woman.

As JP came to a stop at the end of the driveway, he felt a pressure bear down on his chest. He played baseball for a living and had never felt this nervous before a game. But this wasn’t a game. It was his life and he was there to claim it.

Vader came ripping around from the side of the house, wagging his tail. It was kind of silly, but he liked that the dog recognized the sound of his pickup and didn’t bark. Instead he dropped his butt in the gravel and wagged his tail so hard his whole body was swaying. The Australian shepherd looked at him with a huge doggie grin. It was nice to be welcomed.

Climbing out of the truck, JP gave the dog a good pet and scratch under his chin. “Hey there, pup. Where’s your mom?”

He’d half expected her to come running out with a broom to shoo him off as soon as he’d pulled up.

The dog flopped on his back and held up a paw begging for a belly rub. Unable to resist, JP crouched down and gave him a good rub down. A hind foot started motoring as he found a tickle spot. “There you go, Vader. That’s the spot.”

While he was crouched there giving the dog some affection, his gaze took in Sonny’s property. Mature trees were scattered around the yard, flowers blooming happily in well-tended flower beds. The brick house sat simple and unadorned in the middle of it. Sonny’s workspace with its flowering vine cover sat off to the right and back of it, the small red barn just visible behind. The doors were cracked, which probably meant that she was inside milking her goats.

It was so peaceful here. All he could hear were the sounds of nature and the occasional roar of a far-off tractor. It was a nice change from the constant noise of the city.

JP inhaled the fresh country air, filling his lungs. Sonny had busted her ass and made a good home. He could be happy there with her and Charlie.

All she needed to do was agree.

For that to happen he had to stop procrastinating like a wuss. He played ball for a living and took on badass men all the time without a second thought. And yet he was terrified of one strong-willed woman’s rejection.

How was that for love?

Deciding to get it over with, JP straightened and wiped his hands on the front of his old jeans. No use waiting any longer.

Vader righted himself and nudged his hand with a cold nose, looking for more pets. “Not now, dog.” He bent and retrieved a broken stick. “Here. Fetch.” The stick flew through the air and landed in the grass halfway across the yard. The dog took off after it happily, his tongue lolling out of his mouth and off to the side.

Going in the opposite direction, JP was just passing the porch when Charlie opened the screen door and stepped outside. He took one look at the kid and felt his heart fling wide open. That boy was a gem and he wanted to be the one to help him grow in to a man.

If he would have him.

“Hey, Charlie.” But for that to happen, he owed the kid a huge frigging apology.

The boy stood there silently staring at him for what felt like an eternity. He didn’t speak, just stared hard at JP with big blue eyes and it felt like getting kicked in the gut. What if the boy didn’t want to forgive him?

While he waited for Charlie to respond, JP felt an acute self-consciousness, like he was in a lineup waiting for inspection. For a guy who’d never questioned anything, it was damn disconcerting to feel nothing about himself but uncertainty.

Anxiety built in him until he couldn’t take it anymore, the wait making him crazy. If the kid hated him, he just needed to come out and say it, because he couldn’t take the suspense anymore. And if the kid did hate him, it would be flat-ass devastating. Because as he stood there looking at the blond-haired boy with the giant blue eyes and freckles, he fell head over heels.

Clearing his throat, JP was about to speak when the boy shifted. Snapping his mouth shut, he waited for him to say something. But he didn’t. He didn’t speak at all.

Instead a slow, brilliant smile spread across the boy’s face. It started soft and ended up blinding and JP exhaled sharply. Hot damn.

Relief flooded him as the kid leapt off the porch and came running, his face lit with happiness. “I knew you would come!”

JP opened up his arms and Charlie flew inside for a hard, encompassing hug. Feeling his lips tremble, he pressed them together and held the boy tight. “I’m so sorry I let you down, Charlie.”

The kid had his head buried in his chest and his voice came out muffled. “It’s okay.”

No, it wasn’t okay. But it was a mistake he wouldn’t be repeating. “I was selfish, Charlie, and I hurt you. If you’ll forgive me I can promise it won’t happen again.” He’d make damn sure it didn’t.

The boy nodded against his chest, his arms still holding JP tight. “I forgive you.”

Thank God. “You’re an all right kid, slugger. I’m lucky to have you.” He meant it. The kid was one in a million.

Now if he could only get Sonny to forgive him too.

Charlie pulled back and looked up at him, blue eyes bright with unshed tears. “I saw the game last night.”

JP arched a brow. “And?”

The kid broke out giggling, “I can’t believe you used my song!”

Neither could he. And the hell of it was, he’d played an exceptionally good game last night. Part of him was real worried that he’d landed himself a new walkout song permanently. But, if it made the kid happy then he’d just have to deal. Seeing him smile was worth it.

Behind him came the sound of someone clearing their throat and JP looked over his shoulder to find Sonny standing there, her arms full of cut herbs from her garden. Just one look at her had his stomach coiling with need and his heart thundering heavily. He loved that woman so much it was downright scary.

“Sonny.” Her name was the only thing he could say. Only thing he could think.

With unreadable eyes she approached. “JP.”

Charlie pulled out of his embrace and said, “I’m going to go make some breakfast.” The kid turned to leave but spun back around, his face worried. “Don’t leave without saying goodbye, okay?”

“You got it, slugger.” Never again.

JP
HELD HIS
hands out, palms up. “Look, I’m really sorry.”

Sonny sent Charlie inside and stared at JP, swallowing against the tightness in her throat. Seeing him holding her boy had brought all kinds of feelings to the surface, and she was real close to crying. Nobody besides her had ever hugged him like that. And seeing the shortstop do it made her realize how much her son deserved that kind of love.

And not just from her.

Charlie needed to be loved by JP.

All this time she’d been trying to protect her baby from hurt and all she’d succeeded in doing was keeping him away from experiencing love. With JP standing in front of her, his brown eyes earnest and unsure, all of her misgivings fell away.

Every reason she’d ever thought of and every excuse she’d told herself fell by the wayside and her heart filled up with hope. JP was the one for her and she had to have the courage to take that next step—in spite of all her insecurities. The only thing they were going to do was keep her from having what she wanted the most anyway. But he was here now and she wasn’t going to let him get away.

Setting the bundle of freshly cut basil on the hood of JP’s pickup, Sonny straightened her shoulders and walked right on up to the ballplayer. “I was really mad at you for standing up Charlie.”

The shortstop inclined his head. “I know it.” He shifted his feet. “And I’m sorry for it. I was so wrapped up over us that it slipped my mind. It’s inexcusable.”

She agreed. “Yeah, it is. If we’re going to do this thing, JP, then we’ve got to try harder. Relationships are a team effort.”

His eyes narrowed and went dark with emotion. “Are you saying that we’re going to do this? You’re okay with everything?”

That was the exact question she’d stayed up all night pondering. For so long she’d hidden from taking chances, afraid of what might be inside her if she did. For so long she’d used her old issues as an excuse to stay safe and alone. But then he’d come along and showed her how good it felt to be with someone who made her excited with possibilities. Who made her want to go beyond her walls and build something that would last.

Someone who made her feel more love than she’d ever thought possible. And that someone was JP. World-famous baseball player and amazing human being.

He was standing there in the shade of an oak tree, his eyes uncertain, and Sonny found that she didn’t like seeing that look in them. It didn’t belong there. JP was a cocky, self-assured ballplayer with a heart of gold. He simply wasn’t the man she’d fallen in love with without his swagger.

Sonny took a few steps until she was standing directly in front of him and tipped her head back. Everything she felt for JP she let show when she looked up at him and smiled slowly. As she watched, the uncertainty left his eyes and was replaced by something warmer and a whole lot more confident.

And because she missed him and his smile more than she’d ever missed anything, Sonny said, “I’m saying that we can do this, but you have to do one thing first, Mr. Celebrity.”

JP stared at her mouth and murmured, “What’s that, sunshine?”