Playing With Pleasure (11 page)

“I saw that message on my phone the next day,” he said, his voice gruff. “I didn’t send it. I’m assuming Ashley did.”

She pushed a little harder, hating that she needed that extra reassurance. “If you blacked out, then how can you be so sure?”

He didn’t back down from her inquisition, nor did he seem annoyed that she was pushing the issue. “Because, like I said, I never would have knowingly cheated on you.”

“You can’t make a promise like that.”

“Yes, I can.” He met her gaze from across the table, his expression hard and uncompromising. “And let me tell you why. Growing up, my father cheated on my mother a few times. I remember the fights and arguments when she found out, along with the continuous cycle of her crying, then yelling, and my dad apologizing. My mother was hurt, and I hated seeing her in that kind of pain, but she and my father never had the kind of marriage where they communicated and openly talked about the problems in their relationship. And my father refused to go to a therapist with my mom to work through those issues, so instead she punished him.”

Paige ate a bite of veal, shocked by the revelation. She’d met Sawyer’s parents a few times, and while she’d never known about his father’s infidelities, she now realized why she’d always detected an underlying strain between his mom and dad. “Punished him how?”

Sawyer finished off the last of his meal and set his utensils on his plate, his jaw clenched tight. “For months after each of the affairs, things in the house were tense. My mother was cold and bitter and distant with my father, even though he tried to make things right in his own way, but she’d never forgive him. Not that I’m excusing his behavior, because I’m not. He was dead wrong for having the affairs, and since my mother couldn’t get over it, she put him through hell. And because neither of them got counseling to work through their issues, she held on to so much anger she froze him out, and the cycle kept repeating itself.”

“But your parents are still married.” Paige shook her head at the insanity of his parents’ relationship as she drank the last of her wine cooler. “Why don’t they just get a divorce?”

“My dad stays out of guilt,” he said with a shrug. “My mom has nothing else in her life. They got married when she was eighteen because she was pregnant with my older brother, Sean, and she’s never worked. She has no concept of how to live not being married. It’s a fucked up situation any way you look at it, and neither one is truly happy.”

“That’s sad.” She couldn’t imagine staying married to someone who cheated on her. Then again, she didn’t depend on a man for her livelihood as Sawyer’s mom did—and she never would.

“Yeah, it was hell growing up watching how destructive they were to each other and how they hurt one another over and over again. It’s the reason Sean went to college in Boston and now lives there, and why I went into the military as soon as I graduated from high school—to get away from the tension and strain that pervaded their relationship and the house.” He reached across the table and touched his fingers to the back of her hand resting near her plate, the truth burning in his gaze. “And it’s especially why I can make the promise that I would never deliberately cheat on you. I’ve seen firsthand how devastating the fallout can be.”

His thumb skimmed across the backs of her knuckles, his gaze imploring. “I need you to forgive me, Paige, and I know that’s going to take time. I want another chance to prove that I still want you, and only
you
.”

Her chest knotted at his words. He wanted the forgiveness his mother had never given his father, and that was easy enough to grant, because she did forgive Sawyer, and she wasn’t the type of woman who would punish someone indefinitely for a mistake. Right now, Sawyer wanted her, but Paige couldn’t shake that fear deep down inside that he would eventually move on when another woman interested him more than she did. She understood that those insecurities were her issues, not his, but she couldn’t get past them overnight or after one enlightening conversation. The thought of handing Sawyer that kind of emotional trust again, along with her heart, still made her apprehensive. But she couldn’t deny how much she wanted to believe and move on. With him.

“Why me?” she asked, needing to know
why
he wanted her.

He tipped his head to the side, an amused smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “What do you mean, why you?”

She exhaled a deep breath and forced out the crazy question before she changed her mind. “You’re hot and gorgeous, and you could have any woman you want. So what is it about me that you’re attracted to?” It was something she’d always wondered.

“Jesus, Paige, you have no idea just how beautiful you are,” he said in a serious tone. “You’re this rare combination of sweet and sexy that I can’t resist. There is nothing arrogant or vain about you, and that’s so damn refreshing. I love your curves, your long, auburn hair, and your expressive green eyes that make my blood run hot when they go dark with desire.” His gaze dropped lower, as did his voice. “And your mouth…you fucking slay me with those soft lips and make me want to do sinful, dirty things to that warm, lush mouth.”

A liquid rush of heat shot straight down between Paige’s thighs. She squirmed in her seat, barely able to breathe as she imagined what kind of sinful, dirty acts he’d demand of her—and wanting that, too. “So, it’s all physical attraction for you?”

“I’m not that shallow, sweetheart, though your delectable body is a great bonus,” he murmured as he slid his fingers under her hand and stroked her palm with the same kind of slow, deft caress he’d used many times before in more intimate places. “The first thing that drew me to you, even before I saw your face or met you, was your kindness.”

She laughed lightly, even as her body responded to his deliberate touches, which were just as effective as sensual foreplay. The brush of his fingers, along with the way he traced teasing circles on her palm, served to awaken her senses. Her skin grew warm, her breasts swelled, and her nipples tightened and tingled—and judging by the heat in his gaze, he knew
exactly
what he was doing to her.

She forced herself to concentrate on their conversation. “How is it possible that you were attracted to me before you even saw me?”

He arched a dark, chastising brow. “Have you already forgotten how we met?”

“No.” And she never would.

Her mind drifted back to that day when Sawyer had entered her life in an unexpected way. Every morning when she picked up her coffee order at the drive-through window of her local coffee shop, she always paid for the person’s order behind her—her way of putting positive Karma out into the universe, and it just made her feel good knowing she’d probably brightened someone’s day with the unexpected gift. That morning, she’d received a text from Raina just as she’d paid for the two orders, and instead of driving off as she normally did, she pulled into a parking spot in front of the establishment so she could text back her friend.

A rap on her window a few minutes later startled Paige, and her head whipped around to find a disarmingly gorgeous man bent low and staring at her through the glass. His hair was cut military short, and he had the most seductive dark brown eyes and a hard body that made her swallow back an appreciative sigh. Butterflies fluttered to life in her stomach, and when he motioned for her to roll the window down, she wondered what she’d done wrong and why this stranger wanted to speak to her.

Hesitantly, she lowered the window. “Yes?” she asked, her voice sounding breathless to her own ears.

He dazzled her with a sexy grin as his gaze took in her facial features with undeniable interest. “I wanted to thank you for buying my coffee and bagel just now.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. You’re welcome.” She smiled at him. “It’s all part of my morning ritual. I like to start the day by paying it forward.”

He rested his hands on the window frame, drawing her attention to his strong, muscular forearms. “Damn, and here I thought I was special and you’d bought my breakfast to get my attention…which it did, by the way.”

A warm flush climbed up her neck, his flirtatious comment flustering her. Drawing his attention hadn’t been her intent. She hadn’t even looked in her rearview mirror to see who was in the vehicle behind hers. She never did, because it didn’t matter.

He tipped his head to the side, regarding her with genuine attraction in his eyes. “How about I return the favor and buy you breakfast tomorrow morning?”

She automatically shook her head, not wanting him to feel obligated—which was why she always drove off right away. “That’s really not necessary.”

“Yes, it is,” he insisted. “I’ll see you here tomorrow morning at nine.” He winked at her, then straightened and walked away as if it was a given she’d comply with his request.

She stared at those broad shoulders in shock, then snapped herself out of her stupor. “No, wait!”

He turned around and kept walking backwards, farther and farther away. “I gotta go,” he said, flashing her a charming grin. “Don’t stand me up and break my heart, beautiful.”

He slid into his car and drove off in the opposite direction, leaving Paige sitting in her own vehicle in stunned disbelief. She didn’t even know his name. There was no way she’d be so rude as to not show up at the designated time, and as she got dressed the following morning, she’d convinced herself that he was just being friendly and nice.

He’d asked her out to dinner and a movie for that weekend. Her nerves had kicked in and she’d told him she was too busy to date. That hadn’t deterred him, and he’d insisted on meeting her for breakfast…every single morning, if that was the only hour she had to spare.

For over a week, they drank their coffee and talked, about his life in the military, a bit about her growing corset business, and other common interests. He flirted shamelessly, made her smile and laugh, and there was never a shortage of conversation between them. He’d stuck around much longer than most men would have, considering she’d kept him squarely in the friend zone.

The next time he’d asked her out on a
real
date, she’d taken the leap and said yes but kept him at first base—kissing only—for a while, and it was longer still before she’d trusted him enough to sleep with him. Even then, she’d been way more modest and reserved in the bedroom than she was certain a sexual man like Sawyer preferred or was used to. Especially now that Paige knew he’d suppressed his more dominant urges in order to slowly ease her into accepting that he had a kinky side, which she’d only just discovered at The Players Club.

“You made me work for it, Paige,” he said, as if he’d just read her mind. “But you were so worth it. If it was just about your body and getting you into my bed, I would have moved on after the first rejection.”

His words were exactly what she wanted—no,
needed
—to hear. Back then she’d made it very difficult for him to persuade her into a date, then a relationship, and yet he’d persisted. And once she’d taken that next step with him, it had been so easy to free-fall into the kind of emotions—love, especially—that she’d never allowed herself to feel for another man, because they’d never stuck around long enough to earn it as Sawyer had.

“So, anything else you want to know before we move on to more pleasurable things?” he asked patiently, though he spoke the word
pleasurable
with a sinful gleam in his gaze.

He’d answered all her questions, had given her insight to his own family issues. She didn’t want to spend the rest of the night thinking about the past, even though she still wasn’t sure what all this meant for the two of them.

She grinned at him and teased right back. “Depends on what kind of pleasurable things you might be referring to.”

“Dessert, of course.”

She laughed. Ahh, he knew she’d never turn down anything sweet, and she loved that he never made her feel self-conscious about indulging. “Then yes, absolutely, let’s move on.”

She helped him clear the plates from the table. Since there were only a few dirty dishes and utensils, she put them into the dishwasher while he retrieved a white box from the refrigerator and set it on the counter. She saw the familiar label on top of the package and could barely contain her excitement.

“Oh my God, you went to Extraordinary Desserts!” It was her absolute favorite place for all things decadent, though she hadn’t been there since she and Sawyer had eaten at the cafe over a year and a half ago. “You really are trying to get on my good side.”

He merely grinned, then placed his hands on her waist, and she squealed in surprise as he lifted her so she was sitting on the counter. “
Stop
doing that,” she said, even as she wondered how he made boosting her look so effortless when she knew damn well it couldn’t be. “And why am I sitting up here instead of at the table?”

“Just in case it gets messy, because I bought a bunch of different two-bite petite desserts, and the best part is feeding them to you.”

Yes, she remembered how much he’d enjoyed doing that at the cafe, but with a fork and not his fingers.
A bite for me, a bite for him.
It had been sexy and romantic, and her stomach tumbled at the thought of sharing that same kind of affectionate, playful gesture with him again now.

“I’m fully capable of feeding myself.” She crossed her ankles to keep her knees together and smoothed the hem of her dress over her legs, nice and prim and proper.

He noticed her attempt to keep things platonic between them, and she didn’t miss the slight smirk on his lips that told her she was no match for whatever wickedness he had in mind.

“Yeah, but feeding yourself is not nearly as much fun,” he retorted as he braced his hands on the counter on either side of her hips, making it very clear she was staying right where she was. “Now close your eyes while I decide which dessert to surprise you with first.”

She heard the firm, underlying thread of command in his tone and recognized the unwavering voice he’d introduced her to the night at The Players Club. The voice she’d been compelled to obey and was rewarded with intense pleasure for her obedience. Now, she struggled between pushing him away, ending this arousing and inviting game he wanted to play, and giving herself over to his seduction.