Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm a Supervillain (44 page)

Marvelous shrugged and sounded whimsical and only a little embarrassed. “I didn’t see it do anything. Bad Penny didn’t need to use it to beat me. I believe it was responsible for overriding all local communications in the area, jamming firearms and stalling cars. I did see a pink energy pulse come from the building. Witnesses reported a heat beam, but they were hired thugs for the Council Of Seven And A Half. Not exactly trustworthy.”

Dad nodded slowly, his hand coming into view as he laid it against his chin to look thoughtful. “That’s Conqueror technology. We might be looking at an elite reconnaissance unit, a combination commando and spy. Cutting edge technology, even for aliens.”

Marvelous changed the subject. “The big question is, where did Bad Penny get it?”

Dad answered that one immediately. “They dug it out of the landfill. It’s been buried there since the invasion. Did she have any other Conqueror tech?”

Folding her arms over her chest, Marvelous shook her head. “Nope. Basic body armor, she can teleport, and she’s ditched the high-tech weapons for a toy and candy set. Plus the Conqueror orb and some magic cursed pennies. An ugly, subtle little curse.” She sounded impressed.

Dad, of course, ignored any reference to magic. “Mad scientists almost always have a coherent theme. If Bad Penny is building her own equipment, her super power is as strong and flexible as mine. Maybe stronger. More likely she has an outside supplier, and she’s collecting weapons and getting more powerful with each crime.”

“When I ran into her, she was stealing a bottle of dragon’s blood. I’ve recovered the bottle, and if she used any blood it wasn’t much—except it doesn’t take much to give a human super powers.” Even as tense as I felt, Marvelous’s words penetrated. I could have given myself more powers, and I missed it?

Dad frowned, considering it all. “If they’re stealing weapons, someone is telling them where to look. Who’s controlling The Inscrutable Machine?”

“The Conquerors? They wouldn’t hesitate to mix their own, human technology, and magic,” Marvelous suggested.

The grimace that clenched up Dad’s face looked actually worried. “I hope not. I’d like to think they’ve written off Earth as not worth the trouble.”

Marvelous waved a hand. “We’ve never seen Bad Penny, and she’s smarter than any middle-school kid I’ve ever met. She might be an android shell operated by the orb.”

“Then why tip their hand by revealing the orb at all? This isn’t a Conqueror plot. They’re controlling it, not it controlling them.” Dad sounded downright relieved about that.

Letting out a loud, long sigh, Marvelous concluded, “Which leaves us with the obvious explanation.”

Dad nodded. “Spider.”

Dad’s eyebrows shot up, his grim expression interrupted as Mom’s voice called from offscreen. “Spider can’t be behind everything. The obvious explanation is that the children really are that good.”

Marvelous cracked a grin at that. “It’s never safe to think that anything is obvious when Spider is involved. Thanks, Brian. Enjoy the convention. Kiss Dionysus for me!”

“No,” Dad drawled theatrically, and cut the convention.

Turning, Marvelous reached out and mussed my hair again. I was starting to resemble a brown dandelion. “Thanks, Penny. Welcome to superhero talk. A lot of speculation, no real answers. See you soon!” She’d already turned to leave the office, and with that she walked right out the kitchen door and shut it behind her.

I walked back to my room, reached behind my monitor, and pulled out Vera. Deactivated, she didn’t look like much. Pretty, sure, but not high tech. An off-white shell concealed most of the fist-sized crystal ball that was the real her. It looked rather like an eye, and, if I looked deeply and carefully into the iris, I could see the gold filaments between rings of cloudy pink that gave Vera her color.

I tapped her with one finger. “Wake up.” Her shell came apart, unfolded, and she floated off my hand as a very art deco fairy.

“Do you know who the Conquerors are?” I asked, not expecting a response. I actually got one. She stared at me at first, but then slowly shook her head.

So, Vera resembled a weapon belonging to the aliens who secretly tried to invade Earth. That couldn’t get me in more trouble than I was in already.

My phone rang. Roared, in fact. Claire was calling me. I ignored it. Again.

Thanks to Marvelous, however, I was up. Maybe I’d feel less sick if I was clean. I went and took a shower. With the water running I wouldn’t be able to hear if Claire tried to call me again.

I let the shower run long just in case, although even soaking in hot water didn’t make me feel any less stiff. I trudged back to my room, grabbed my stack of Sentient Life issues off the shelf where I’d just put them away, and dropped onto my bed. Lying back against my piled up pillow and comforter, I tried to read.

The second time Vera turned a page for me, I had to face it. I hadn’t actually read anything this whole time, just stared. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t do anything.

The doorbell rang. I lurched out of bed, grabbed my pants, and pulled them on.

You know what? Forget it. I lay back down again.

Next to me, Vera turned another page. I couldn’t focus on the comic, but at least I could watch Vera’s pink crystal eye move from panel to panel. She stopped at a frame of Delph’s elongated face staring close into a monitor. The original Vera was just a shadowy hint of a face on the screen. My Vera ran her tiny hand over both of them. She liked the comic more than I did.

Was that faint rattling a real sound? The click of the kitchen door opening was real. I didn’t hear my parents’ voices.

Someone was breaking into the house.

That was insane. We didn’t need alarms. This was Brainy Akk and The Audit’s house.

Someone had broken in anyway. Someone who didn’t care.

I had seconds. I wasted too many of them grabbing my sweater and jamming myself into it. I’d pushed my sugar tank too far under the bed. I couldn’t dig it out in time!

Which didn’t mean I was unarmed. I never wanted to do this, but someone was about to get a face full of Vera’s heat ray. A flick of her globe got Vera’s attention. I stepped out into the hall, pointed at Ray and Claire, and snapped, “Vera, k—” before I strangled the command.

“What are you two doing here? How did you get in?!” I yelled instead.

Claire held up an adorable pink plastic packet full of little metal tools. “I can pick locks, remember?”

She tucked them back into the pocket of her jeans. They were both in civvies. Not that there was a big difference for Ray, but at least he left the gloves, jacket, and mask off. He’d left off his usual grin, too. He sounded unusually serious as he answered my real question. “You haven’t been answering your phone. We were worried you were freaking out over the invitations.”

I balled my fists and shouted, “Of course, I’m freaking out! We’re being blackmailed by Spider!” I could hear the screech in my voice. Suddenly, my whole body trembled, and my eyes stung with tears.

Claire walked calmly down the hall to me, hands held up. “I’m not sure it’s blackmail. It could be exactly what it says: an invitation.” Reaching out both arms, she took my hand in hers and squeezed it.

I shook my head, my voice hoarse. Criminy, my nose was starting to run too. “No way. Spider always has an ulterior motive. He’s always playing some kind of game. We’re thirteen. We’re—we’re good at this, but we’re just kids. There’s no way we can outwit him.”

“Her,” Ray corrected me. It was a nothing detail, and he kept his voice light. I expected to want to slap him for nitpicking. That anger didn’t happen, which felt so good. By the time I ran through those thoughts he took my other hand. Bringing his face close to look right into mine, he told me, “We don’t have to outwit Spider. We just have to keep her from outwitting us.”

I sniffled. “Do you think we can do that?”

He straightened back up, squeezing my hand hard enough that it hurt just a little. A slight, proud smirk broke his serious expression. “I know Bad Penny, Reviled, and E-Claire can.”

E-Claire. It hit me. I turned and glared furiously at Claire, yelling, “Your mystery contact was Spider all along?!” Her eyes went wide, and she shrank back but didn’t let go of my hand.

Then her face turned down sheepishly. Was she using her power on me? I didn’t think so. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and explained, “There never was a contact. I’ve spoken to a couple of supervillains, but they mostly don’t hang out online. It’s not about who you know anymore. It’s about how well you use a search engine. I ordered us the bank cards first thing after the gymnasium fight, but they only just arrived in the mail.”

That baffled me. “Why lie about it?”

Claire peeked up at me, a hint of accusation in her own stare. “I didn’t think you’d trust me to be a bigger geek than both of you put together.”

Ray’s grin came back. It was never far away. “Not a problem. Buy some bigger glasses and switch out the bear suit for cosplay.”

“I will, if Penny fixes up the inserts she made for my pajamas. They fit really badly into regular shoes.” She sounded downright eager. Of course, she did. She was pretty and friendly, but she was right. She was a bigger geek than either of us. She’d always loved this stuff.

Ray moved a hand up to my shoulder. “Are you going to be okay? We can do this.”

Now Claire’s grin lit up. She jerked my hand up to her chest and squealed, “Do this? Are you kidding? It’s going to be a blast! Chinatown shuts down early every Friday afternoon, for the whole weekend. I had to comb the internet to find even a hint of why. It’s a wild supervillain party! Every single week!”

“You could have just asked your Mom,” Ray pointed out slyly.

Claire opened her mouth. Claire closed her mouth. “Point,” she finally admitted.

Villains took over Chinatown to party every weekend?

Of course. My parents had been hinting at it all my life. If Spider lived there too, no wonder there was never any crime in Chinatown and no superheroes ever patrolled there.

We’d be stepping right into Spider’s web.

Claire leaned in closer, squinting as she looked my face up and down. “Penny’s still sulking.” Straightening up, she told Ray, “I prescribe going out and having a good time.”

He nodded. “We’ll go out for pizza. We can afford it. We can afford anything we want.”

He was right about that. I started to nod, but Ray interrupted me. He put one hand on my shoulder and one on Claire’s and gave us gleeful grin. “Hey, it just hit me—did all three of us try the same stupid ‘hide what I can do’ trick when we got our powers?”

I stared at him. Then I laughed, and laughed, and then I laughed some more. Claire managed to hold it down to a couple of squeaky giggles, enough to say, “Three peas in a pod. No accident we ended up friends.”

“And teammates,” I managed to wheeze.

I spent the next couple of hours at Pizza Place, sitting on a chair so high my heels kicked the air, eating delicious pizza and convincing Mr. Grigoryan three middle school kids didn’t need a discount. Ray and Claire talked about cosplay costumes, and I didn’t say much and I didn’t really listen. I just ate sharply spiced pepperoni pizza and basked in their happy chatter while the knot in my heart let go. I couldn’t help but notice the costumes Ray suggested Claire wear wouldn’t cover much, but all that did was make me giggle occasionally.

I slept like a rock when I got home. It felt great.

I didn’t feel quite as great when I got up in the morning, but I kicked myself out of bed and made myself shower and get cleaned up. Vera wandered in with me, although she didn’t seem to enjoy, mind, or even notice the water. Great. Now I was showering with both of my greatest inventions. The dividing line between mad scientist and crazy cat lady got thinner.

I couldn’t really get into the humor of the thought. I was going to walk into Spider’s lair tonight, and she knew my real name. Maybe we’d be okay, but it hung on my heart like a weight while Dad’s braiding device twisted my hair into neat pigtails.

I went back to my room, flipped on my computer, and checked if Ray and Claire were online. They were. I might have to face down Spider in her web tonight, but I’d do it with my friends by my side.