Pleasure Principle (5 page)

Teddy Bear

Naturally misery loves company and the men longed for the freedom being a self-made bachelor and Giggahoe afforded Teddy. Teddy was fine as the hair on a tadpole's nuts and filthy damn rich. He could sleep with almost any woman in the world. Needless to say he cold took advantage of it. Not to mention he was free of a nagging wife, curfews, chores and scrutiny to say the least. As they watched Teddy play with the two toddlers,
Dorian
,
Christian and Logic decided that if they were in marital bliss then damn it Teddy should be miserable, I mean in bliss as well.

Christian spoke first. “Wow you’re a natural. You have both of them asleep in your arms. How’d you do that?”

Teddy chuckled as Christian and Dorian took their sleeping baby girls from hi
m
. “Well they are females right? You know there’s not a woman on the planet that wouldn’t melt in my arms. These two little girls are going to be heart stoppers.”

“Yeah, well Jasmine is not even going to be allowed to say the word boy until she finishes college.” Dorian declared as he gently kissed his daughter’s chubby cheeks.

“Hell, Christina isn’t even going to know how to spell boy before she graduates from high school, let alone date one.” Christian chuckled as he kissed his daughters forehead. “Happy birthday baby girl.
Daddy loves you.
Come on D let's lay these pretty little women down. We'll be right back.”

“Shit I’m so glad we’re going to have a boy.” Logic d
eclared
as he watched his friends and frat brothers coo over their little girls. “At least I hope we have a boy.”

“What? Toy’s pregnant. Congratulations man! When did you find out?” Teddy got excited.

“Oh no! Not yet, but she will be soon. She's coming off her birth control tonight and I’m gonna fill her up with baby love every damn night until she is with child as they say.”

“Okay that’s what up! Toy’s too damn fine any way to be married. She need
s
a baby in that oven to neutralize all that hotness. I still haven’t figured out what she sees in your ugly ass.”

“What the fuck ever. You’re just mad because she didn’t fall subject to your charm and bull ass shit!”

“Perhaps. Hey I’m just saying you married well. Hell, all three of you ugly bitches married outside of your pay grades. I just hope God saved one for me.” Teddy admitted.

“Since you brought it up... How long are you going to play musical beds with these chicken heads? I saw you playing with those babies. You are a natural dad. At least consider curbing your appetite
and start dating
women you wouldn’t detest impregnating.” Logic sincerely advised. “Seriously, aren’t you tired of all the bullshit yet?”

Teddy nervously chuckled. “I have to admit when I hang out with you guys yeah, but when I’m in LA not really. I mean if I get lonely I call somebody to come over and keep me company. Hell, if I really wanted a baby I could hire a damn surrogate and a nanny. I don’t know. I think it’s just not in the cards for me to be married with children. If it happens then it happens if not, oh well.”

Chris and Dorian returned from laying the girls down in Jasmine’s room just in time to hear the butt end of the conversation.

“Look man, I thought the same thing before I met Queen.” Chris chimed in.

“O-h-h-h shit! Here we go! Why the hell did you have to say that?” Dorian whined.

“I’m going to stay the hell out of it for obvious reasons.” Logic chuckled.

“Yet your ass still had something to say.” Chris snapped. “What should have been obvious was that Queen was engaged!”

Logic held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, as far as I’m concerned all that shit is behind us. I’m not mad at you no more than I’m mad at Teddy. Queen chose who she wanted to be with and personally I’m happy for you. I can’t think of a better husband for her. So, peace and much love
to you and yours my brutha
. You have a beautiful family
,
man.” Logic said as he offered Christian a handshake of friendship. Christian accepted.

“Thanks man. It’s just still too fresh to completely let go... Hell you know! I’m sorry to snap. It’s just been a long damn day.” Christian apologized,

“Hey, no problem. Please continue. This is about Teddy anyway. We have to get him on the right track. So go ahead. You were saying...”

“So you two bitches just going to act like I wasn’t her man... Paying all her damn bills... When all that bullshit was going down
..
. Unfuckin believable!” Teddy chuckled. “Go ahead Chris. Whatever, I’m not tripping because Queen never really belonged to me. She was just on loan.”

“Well at least you finally admitted it!” Logic laughed.

“Bitch she didn’t belong to you either!
So stop pretending she did.
If she did she would have married you, baby or no baby.”

“Ouch! That's going to leave a
damn
mark!” Dorian
j
oked.

“Both you bitches better be careful what comes out of your mouth
next
about my damn wife!” Christ warned.

“True that, point taken. Again, I’m happy things turned out the way they did. I can’t imagine living my life without Toy. That woman in there is fuckin amazing, in and out of bed.”

“Toy is a fuckin monster... That woman is like... ” Dorian smiled and unconsciously breathed a deep breath and then sighed.

“Can I finish?” Chris abruptly interrupted.

“Sorry, go ahead man.” Dorian apologized
,
as he caught Logic giving him a dirty look. “What? I was just agreeing with you.”

”Don‘t make me slap the shit out of you!” Logic responded. “Keep that bullshit up.” Logic warned. “Go ahead Chris.”

“Okay let’s just clear the air once and for all. On the count of three everybody blurt out the name of the person they’d like to wreck, other than their wife. No hard feelings and no discussion and no questions asked. Then we can all just bury this insecure, jealous bullshit. Everybody game?”

“No hard feelings and no bullshit retaliation right?” Logic asked.

“Absolutely none.” Christian assured them.

“Okay I’m in.” Dorian replied.

“Me too!” Logic added.

“I’ve been in. None of them belong to me anyway.” Teddy chuckled.

“Okay then, on three. One... Two... Three... I would totally wreck ...” Christian counted down.

Dorian blurted out, “Queen!”

Teddy sighed, “Toy’s ass.”

Logic blurted, “Jade.”

Christian was silent as they all looked at each other and burst out laughing.

“Okay, I guess you have to break the tie. So who would the Love Doctor destroy?” Logic joked.

“I just wanted to clear the air. It doesn't even matter. So I was saying...”

“Oh fuck that... Which one? Don’t try to evade the question.” Teddy laughed.

“No, I’m not
g
oing there. I’m good.” Chris chuckled.

“Good my ass. You have to choose.” Logic insisted.

“Yeah, nigga. You got us committing virtual adultery and shit and then you gonna bitch out. Go ahead and spit it out. Who would you wreck and don't even think about saying Queen?

“Christian looked around to make sure the women weren’t listening. Then he admitted, “Okay, Toy. I'd split Toy in half
!
Sorry Logic.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s just part of the game, but get that shit out of your head
be
cause it ain’t going to happen. And Teddy you already know!”

“You the only nigga with something to say!” Teddy laughed. “We all agreed no questions asked and no backlash!”

“Bitch, that’s easy for you to say, because none of them belong to you.” Logic countered.

“True that!” Teddy laughed. “Still, I’m just saying the rules were no discussion.”

“You know what? What the fuck ever... it’s just fantasy bullshit! I know I got a bad ass wife. So, now that we got that shit out of the way can we get back to this nigga right here? We have to find him a wife before I bust his wife coveting ass for drooling over mine.” Logic joked as he gave Teddy a playful shove.

“Logic if you hold him down, I’ll beat his bitch ass for you!” Christian joked.

“Look, I agree, Teddy is a bitch ass man hoe, but
he’s still our boy.
I think I have a solution.” Dorian chimed in. “VH1 tried to pitch a reality TV show idea to me for Teddy since he’s such a non-conformist. Naturally, I told them I'd think about it, although I planned to dismiss it. What if we sign with them to do one of those bachelor shows like the Flavor of Love or the Bachelor or some shit like that.”

“Oh hell yeah! That shit could definitely work.” Logic agreed.

“Hell, no! There are some psycho ass women that sign up for those shows.” Teddy complained.

“Yeah, I have to agree with Teddy on this one. Those girls are usually a bunch of crazy ass gold diggers.” Chris interjected.

“That’s what he dates anyway. Besides he’ll get to pick from hundreds
probably even thousands
of women. It sounds like fun
to me
.” Logic responded.

“Fun for who? I hate that reality TV bullshit. Besides when I get ready for some sticky icky I’m getting some. Fuck all that lights camera and action bullshit. Trust me I’m fucking on or off camera. Y’all already know how I roll. TOLO, tits out and legs open!” Teddy laughed. “So you may want to rethink the reality TV option for me.” 

“Actually, that really shouldn't be a problem. They only put cameras in your bedroom if you allow them to. Besides, everyone on the show will be consenting adults. So, as long as the woman wants it you can get all the pussy you want.” Dorian explained.

“I think it’s a good idea. You should do it. Hell, you might find Mrs. Right.” Logic replied.

“Hey, I’d settle for Miss Right Now when it comes to this nigga.” Christian chuckled.

Teddy sighed, “You know what? Fuck it! Sounds like some easy pussy to me. Set it up D and fill me in on the specifics later.”

Kai Johns

NFL Rookie Running Back

VH1 jumped at the opportunity to produce a reality love show about the infamous Teddy Bear Davine. His antics and sexcapades where known worldwide. Contracts were signed and the production started almost immediately. Less than ninety days later the handsome young bachelor found himself literally combing through over ten thousand profiles of women who wanted the opportunity to become Mrs. Teddy Bear Davine. Yes, you heard it, Mrs. Davine. Teddy had agreed to the possibility of asking the winner to marry him if per chance he made a legitimate, lasting love connection.

Overwhelmed he turned to his friends for help. Within a matter of days Dorian, Christian, Logic, Queen, Jade and Toy had helped Teddy to narrow the field down to less than one hundred hopefuls. The show’s Producers took it from there interviewing the one hundred women and narrowing the field down to a respectful twenty five participants. Naturally Teddy was giv
en
final say over the selection. Surprisingly Teddy was oddly excited about the prospect of finding someone to share his life.

VH1 thought that it would be a good idea if Teddy named one male friend and one female friend to assist him with his decisions on the show. Of course his friends’ wives were adamantly against their involvement in the show.

Toy summed it all up when she told Logic, “Fuck that bullshit! Tell VH1 and Teddy’s ass, Hell to the fuckin no!”

So, Teddy enlisted one of his teammates, Kai Johns to do the show with him. Kai was a twenty six year old sexy piece of coco that was tall, fine, single and rich as hell. A starting Rookie Running Back for the LA Archangels
,
Kai was a well-known
devout
bachelor, Giggahoe and a very good friend to Teddy. A delicious catch in his own right Kai was sure to add some additional heat and drama to the show.

Christian however added a touch of class and beauty to the show when he recommended Janette Sweets an old friend of theirs from Atlanta
.
Icee aka the Ice Princess as she
wa
s fondly known by Teddy was an extremely sexy Atlanta boutique owner who had known Teddy since his college days. Honestly, Icee was one of the slim few women that Teddy had encountered on a social level that he had not slept with. For some unexplained reason Icee had absolutely no sexual attraction
to
Teddy what so ever. Still, somehow over the years the two had actually become very good platonic friends.

Teddy had long since given up pursuing her sexually and now savored their very special friends without benefits relationship. He trusted Icee and he knew that she would keep it strictly one hundred percent real with him. For once Teddy was happy their relationship never left the friends forever zone. She was a perfect addition to the cast of the show and Teddy welcomed her honest advice.

The lovely Icee was ecstatic about an opportunity to be featured on a Reality TV show. Naturally she said yes, hired a store manager to run and maintain her Atlanta Boutique and headed for LA.

VH1 created an incredibly diverse format for the show that included sponsors, locations and venues all around the world, in addition to offering Teddy, Icee and Kai a lucrative compensation and sponsorship package. With Kai and Icee on board and occasional cameo guest appearances by Logic and other NFL greats the show was slated to be an instant success. They even hired Dr. Christian Love to
occasionally
appear and offer expert advice. After his New York Times number one bestseller,
Sex for Entertainment Purposes Only,
was released
Chris was rightfully named the Love Doctor. An expert in sexuality, mating and dating He was a perfect fit for the show. With the Davine Dream Team finally in place taping for the show started immediately and the search for Mrs. Teddy Bear Davine began.

“Okay so explain this to me again, because I cannot seem to wrap my brain around the fact that in less than six months your whoring ass might be engaged.” Icee laughed.

“You might as well forget all that bullshit. The only way I’m going to
shred
my
P
rofessional
P
layas
I
nstructor’s c
redentials
in six months is if Cupid fl
ies
down from Heaven and shoot
s
me straight up the crack of my ass! This is some bullshit Chris and my friends concocted. A pack of shameless ass haters who are mad because I’m single and they are not.”

“Are you even close to settling down? Come on Teddy be honest with me.” She asked her friend.

”Hell no!” Kai laughed, answering for him. “He was out with me last night hunting for new tail!”

Teddy rolled his eyes at him. “Icee you know me, sure I’m a male whore, and I own that. But I still want all of those things... A beautiful wife... Some children and a loving, committed marriage... But I swear I just can’t see it happening, especially not on a damn TV show in six months. In fact there is only one woman on this planet that can take my ass down that fast… It wouldn’t even take her six weeks to get me on my damn knees. Sadly, she is currently off the menu.”

“Keep messing with Chris’ wife and he is going to break his ankle on your coccyx bone. You know Queen is married, so move on.”

“There you go again with that bullshit! I’m not even talking about Queen, smart ass. Queen and
I
are just friends for the two millionth damn time. I wouldn’t even fuck her with your dick, so squash all that noise.”

“Ahh Shit! Here we go! Why’d you say that? You know better than that.” Kai groaned.

“Just because I didn’t lie on my back and spread my ass for you like every other female that you smiled at... it does not mean that I’m a lesbian. So, call me a lesbian one more time and I’ll break my stiletto off in your ass. Uhh! You are so lucky that VH1 is paying me so well.”

Teddy laughed. “I didn’t call you a lesbian. I implied that you were a dude.” Icee swung wildly at Teddy who effortlessly evaded her punches with the speed and precision of a cheetah. “Stop playing Icee! I’m just kidding around.”  He laughed. “I just wanted to make sure that we
were
clear about my relationship with Queen. You know Chris’ ass is crazy and shit!
I’m not even trying to fuck with him. So, keep that bullshit out of your head before it slips out of your
damn
mouth.
”           

“Then who are you talking about?” Icee
sighed and calmly
asked as she meticulously adjusted her clothes and smoothed her hair.

“
Forget about it, y
ou don’t know her. Anyway, it’s irrelevant.
She’s in love and finally happy.
Besides, i
t was over a very long time ago. It would take the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost to get that woman to give me another
damn
chance.
Just f
orget it.
I don’t even want to discuss it.
”

“Do I know her? She’s not that girl that
I met at your house that time? You know I took her out after you le
t
he
r go.
Don’t you?
” Kai foolishly
interrupt
ed.

“
Are you still breathing?” Teddy snorted. Kai didn’t answer for obvious reasons. “Then no, that’s not the girl I’m talking about and no you’ve never met her.
Yes I know you took that girl out and no I don’t care
!
”

“
All I have to say is d
on’t challenge God, because you know he loves a challenge. He specializes in proving the devil wrong. So, never say never, devil.” Icee laughed. “Seriously, I feel good about this. I think you’re going to be pleasantly surprised from this experience.”

“I don’t know about that, but I know that I’m going to be pleasantly satisfied.
There are
some fine women on that roster.” Teddy nervously laughed. “I don’t know... Hey, I’m down for whatever happens.”

“Good... That’s all I’m saying.
God has something good planned for you. I can feel it. Just keep an open mind and a receiving heart.
”

Teddy laughed as he gave Kai some dap, “I will but trust me, a whole lot of legs and mouths are also going to be open during the process as well.”

“I held that!” Kai cosigned.

Icee giggled. “Send me some help... You two are so nasty, but that’s okay. It wouldn’t be entertaining if you weren’t you.”   

“Exactly! Those women know who I am and what I’m about. So they know if nothing else they will leave my show properly fucked.” Teddy laughed heartily.

“Hey, I’m just looking for a little of that throwback tail. I’m bound to get some rebound love and an occasional rub and tug.” Kai chuckled. Hell I hope VH1 decide to give me a show next.”

“How old are you?” Icee asked as she eyed the extraordinarily handsome millionaire.

Kai was around six feet tall with a strong, lean, muscular frame. Brown expressive eyes brightened his chiseled face and a charming brilliant, dimpled smile warmed even the coldest heart. Sexy and cocky as hell the young wide receiver quickly had Icee in the defrost mode.  

“I’m twenty six... Why, how old are you?” Kai asked as he took a closer look at the beautiful Icee, licking his lips as he goggled her goodies.

“Old enough to know I don’t have to answer that question.” Icee smiled. “Actually I’m just a little older than you.”

“Don’t even waste your time or your breath, Kai. Let me sa
ve
you from a bad case of frostbite. Icee is a damn cold ass, man hating
dick
tease! She used to be en
g
aged to the Abdominal Snowman, but she turned his ass frigid and he kicked her out of the North Pole. Icee, leave this young boy’s heart alone. How many damn lives do you plan to destroy you evil, frigid, Ice Witch! Pick on somebody in your own damn specie
s
.” Teddy joked.

“Who asked you Teddy? This is a rake and a shovel conversation, so keep your hoe ass out of it!” She retorted as she not so discreetly gave Teddy the finger.

“Icee, don’t pay any attention to Teddy. He’s obviously a
world class
hater. I love older women and I think you
’
r
e
simply beautiful. We should have dinner one night. So, what are you doing tonight?” Kai flirted as he admired Icee’s beautiful curves.

“Oh hell no, I really don’t think so! You two can do whatever the fuck you want once the show finishes taping. Until that time I suggest you both find someone else to suck, lick and grind uglies with.  I don’t need any extra drama on the set. I need my advis
o
rs focused on me and my bullshit
.
”

Icee rolled her eyes at Teddy. “He’s a
n ass
, but he’s right. We’ll talk about dinner after this orangutan fines a prime mate... I mean a mate.”

“I got your orangutan in my pants.” Teddy laughed. ”And you
better
know he‘s a big one!”

“And that’s exactly why I never slept with your monkey ass. I’m not into chimps!” She laughed.

“Orangutans are actually apes.” Kai corrected.

“Whatever!” Teddy and Icee simultaneously chimed.

“Look I have a date, so can we get this over with?” Icee asked as she grabbed a stack of folders on Teddy’s large coffee table.

“Sure, I have a massage in about an hour. So, we need to pick this up, because I got some shit that really needs massaging.” Kai grinned as he slapped Teddy’s hand and gave him some dap.

“Inga or Olga?” Teddy chuckled.

“Both as a matter of fact.” Kai laughed.

“You’re just as nasty as Teddy." Icee rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, you’re right! Hell, I may
even
be
nastier.” He laughed.
“So when are we going out?” Icee ignored the question.

“
Okay, l
et’s make this quick because I have a session with my analyst in about an hour and a half and I
absolutely
cannot be late.” Teddy interrupted as he checked his Movado watch.

“As I was saying, let’s quickly go through these profiles. We have to send fifteen people home tonight. So let’s pick your favorite ten now and we’ll see what happens tonight.” Icee continued as she flipped through a stack of folders.

“What do you mean?” Teddy asked confused.

“Select ten women that interest you. Tonight at the mixer you’ll see if you have any chemistry with them. If not we’ll make adjustments to our selections later. You have to send fifteen women out of the twenty five home.” Kai explained.

“Oh so you want me to pick ten that I’m interested in
dating
? That’s easy.” Teddy quickly shuffles through the twenty five profiles and divides them into two piles in a matter of minutes.

“Isn’t that what I just said? And exactly what are you doing?” Icee asked as Teddy gave her a stack of folders. “And what are these?”