Portal (6 page)

And, of course, there was the upcoming “game” to fret about. I glanced quickly around the cafeteria trying to get some bearing. This place was definitely
cliquey
. I could easily make out the different groups. I looked over at mine. Now, I was worried. The softball team maybe… a very glamorous softball team?

The girls were deep in conversation about the game when I sat down. I listened trying to understand what they were talking about. Why didn’t I have any
instinct
about this?

“Well, I guess at the end of the day it’s really up to Arizona, she’s the vice captain and Julia is off sick, so I guess Arizona is in charge,” Ali said looking at me expectantly.

I nearly choked! I had no idea how to respond. “Ali, to tell you the truth, I’m not feeling that good today, slightly nauseous. Could you take over?” I suggested hoping for the best.

“Sure thing, will you at least come and watch?” she asked obviously delighted at being put in charge.

“I’ll try,” I promised.

Lily’s tapping on my shoulders rescued me, “Time for the debate team meeting. Coming?”

Debate team? I suddenly felt overwhelmed and light headed; I could feel the blood draining from my face.

I heard Maria get up, saying, “I’ll take her to the nurse,” as she took me by the hand and led me out.

“I’m ok, really, I just need some fresh air. I’m going to cut the rest of the day, but could you come and pick me up for the game? I’ll come and watch.”

“Sure thing, let me walk you to your Jeep,” she said as she put her arm around my waist and walked me out.

I meant to drive straight home, but had to slow down and pull into the hard shoulder, five minutes past the school. I couldn’t see ahead of me for the tears welling up in my eyes. So, I put my head down on the steering wheel, trying to erase all thoughts from my mind. I just wanted to think about nothing. I yearned for emptiness. The millions of questions and thoughts swirling around in my head were driving me insane. It felt good letting the tears drip on to my wheel. I needed the release.

My peace was interrupted by a loud knock on the passenger side door. It opened. I was terrified! I should have locked the doors. My body tensed into action and I swirled around with my fists up looking for something that I could use as a weapon. The helmet wearing, leather-clad man who had opened the door, took a step back as I leaned forward to strike. He hastily removed his helmet. I couldn’t make out who it was through my tears.

“Shrimp, it’s just me, calm down,” he said as he took a step forward again. I felt myself relax at the sound of the voice. It was familiar. It was comforting. I looked at him again, rubbing the tears from my eyes. It was the boy from physics. Kellan? Now I was totally humiliated.

“Can I get in?” he asked hesitantly.

I didn’t want him to, but found myself nodding in response and watched him climb in and sit beside me. He turned and slowly reached for my hands. I immediately drew away, putting them safely under my legs and looked away trying to ignore him.

“Arizona, I want to help, but if you’re not going to talk to me, will you at least let me drive you home?”

I nodded without looking at him, got out and walked around to the passenger’s seat. He put his bike behind the trees and got into the Jeep, and we drove
home
. I spent the entire journey staring out my window, not saying a word. I could feel him wanting to talk to me, but I guess he decided to leave it alone. It was 2 PM as we pulled into the driveway.

Rupert was sitting on the porch steps strumming on a wooden guitar. He was bent over it, eyes closed. He looked peaceful and happy. He looked up and smiled when he saw the Jeep. Kellan pulled the Jeep right up to the porch and stopped abruptly as Gertrude ran down the steps and flung herself at the car.

“Hey, kids! What are you doing home, Arizona?” Rupert asked putting his guitar down and taking hold of Gertrude.

“I was feeling a bit nauseous, so I decided to come home and rest for a while.”

Rupert looked concerned and said, “Go and lie down. Are you still going to the game?”

“Yes, I promised to turn up to watch, Ali is taking over for the evening. Maria is picking me up at six.”

I looked over at Kellan and murmured, “Thanks,” as I picked Gertrude up and walked up the steps to my room. She was clearly happy to see me. I tried to avoid being licked in the face as she scrambled around in my arms, wagging her tail furiously. I remembered what Maria had said earlier, “
New
dog.” I had been given Gertrude as an early birthday gift five years ago. She was in no way new.

I couldn’t resist peeking out the window when I got to my room. Kellan was still by the porch talking to Rupert although I couldn’t see Rupert from where I watched. I couldn’t take my eyes of Kellan. Something about him had me mesmerized. Rupert came into view as the two of them walked toward Rupert’s bike, got on and rode away. I guessed to get Kellan back to his bike.

I was emotionally drained, too tired to think anymore so I lay down for a short nap.

I woke feeling groggy. It was just after four. I gulped down the now tepid water that Rupert must have brought up when I was asleep and made my way to the shower. The cold water struck my face, waking me up. Once the water warmed, I washed my hair. With the trusted pink towel wrapped around me once again, I went down to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. Gertrude was there, poking her nose at a cupboard and whining. I opened it, ah… the treat cupboard. I grabbed her favorite kind of bone and held it out to her. She jumped up and grabbed it, scooting off in a hurry. After making myself a really strong cup of coffee, I walked back up to my room where I switched the computer on to check the school website for today’s game schedules.

The swim team was having a competition and there was a basketball game scheduled. I checked the ice hockey roster, nothing. I did notice that the tryout for the varsity team was Thursday night. Maybe I should go?

I tried to narrow down the options that I could be involved in this evening. I’m no good at swimming so I couldn’t possibly be on the swim team. I had a look at the competition pictures on the website. No sign of me, or any of the other girls from our lunch table. Basketball? I’m not tall enough and I’m miserably inadequate at basketball but perhaps it was an all girls team, which could be fun.

I checked the website again, no girls team. There were a lot of pictures of the boys though. Mountain View High seemed to have a strong basketball team. I looked closely at the pictures… surely not! This couldn’t possibly be right….

A CHEERLEADER! I’m a cheerleader; surely Mom would never allow that? But there I was – front and center with the most nauseating sunshine smile ever, in an outfit that shouldn’t be allowed in high schools. Thank goodness I’d excused myself from this evening’s performance. What a nightmare! Except this situation had gone on too long for it to be a dream for sure. This was really happening.

I was a
cheerleader
, which would explain my current Barbie look. This was a total deal breaker. I decided that I
had
to play for the varsity ice hockey team, not just try out but play.

Still shocked at my discovery, I dried off and got dressed quickly. I called Maria and told her that I would meet her at the game. There was something I had to do first.

Google helped me find the nearest hockey supply stores.
Play It Again Sports
was a mile from the high school. Perfect! I grabbed my credit cards, jumped into my Jeep, plugged the address into my GPS and rushed off. I parked and hurried into the store. The ice hockey department was limited, but I managed to grab hold of a friendly shop assistant who helped me out. And then I did something a bit (understatement of the year) strange – I bought a pink helmet. I purchased a bag and stuffed all the items into it except my new U+ stick, my new pride and joy.

The drive to school felt different, it was thrilling glancing over at my new hockey gear. With the Jeep parked and safely locked, I ran over to the gym. I was early. There was a lot of noise coming from the gym, I opened the door, and someone shouted, “They are over in the small gym!”

So I walked passed the weight room and went to the small gym. The girls were congregated in one corner.

“Hey, Arizona, glad you came! How are you feeling?” a pretty brunette asked as she came running up to me.

“Better, but I’m going to sit this one out and cheer the cheerleaders!”

Maria walked over to me, “You sure? You still look a bit flushed.”

“I’m ok, really, and I do want to talk to you and Ali about something. Can we grab a pizza after the game?”

“Sure!”

“Ok, let’s get started girls!” I heard Ali shout. I looked over at her, she was glowing with excitement, I winked at her and she winked back happily. They got into formation and started with the sequence. I zoned out thinking about Thursday’s hockey tryout. There was no doubt that I was going to have to fight all the battles I had to overcome when I did this at Princeton.

My cell phone startled me by coming to life with a sharp tone. Strange, it never rings; even Mom uses text. It was Simla. Oh no! I had totally forgotten about her. I vaguely remembered that I was supposed to be doing something for or with her tonight, I couldn’t remember what.

“Hey, Simla, what’s up?”

“You were going to give me a ride to Justin’s and do my trig homework….”

I interrupted her whining, “Simla, I have a game on. Get your mother to drop you off here. She’s not going to say ‘no’ to that, and Justin can pick you up from here. I’ll meet you early before school and I’ll do your homework then.”

What a pain, whatever happened to Simla? What was she doing here anyway?

“Oh, never mind, I’ll have Justin pick me up, he’ll do my homework, too,” she said as she metaphorically slammed the phone down. I could feel her disappointment and anger. I would sort it out with her tomorrow.

The game? Well, since I’m not into basketball at all, I didn’t pay much attention. I cheered for the cheerleaders, they were awesome. There was no way I could have done any of that. No amount of
instinct
could have helped me out.

The Spartans won, madness ensued, the team rushed at me and I was up on someone’s shoulder. I felt like I was riding a crazed camel. Everyone was cheering. I threw my hands up in the air and tried to follow the cheering. The camel ride seemed to last an awfully long time, and I thought I would hurl on the camel’s head when I was finally lifted down. The camel turned out to be Robert, the team captain and Ali’s boyfriend. I hoped that this wouldn’t have any repercussions as Ali came bounding up to me. Her first triumph and she was on cloud nine. Robert scooped her up and they took off.

“Arizona, do you want to ride to the party with me?” Maria asked.

“Sure, Maria. That would be great. Can we get some pizza first? I need to talk to you and Ali, but she took off so I guess it’s just you and me.”

“Oh, Ali is riding with us too. She probably just went to get changed. I’ll go and get changed too and meet you here in ten?”

I nodded as she took off. I waited, pretending to talk on the cell phone so people would leave me alone. I was doing a good job having an imaginary altercation with my mom.

A text beep sounded.

When are you getting back home?
(from my mother)

Is 11 pm ok?

Yes

Thanks Mom

That would give me a good excuse to leave the party early. Maria and Ali appeared. Ali was still glowing with excitement. I hugged her.

“You did great, Ali! That’s the best I’ve ever seen the squad perform.”

She beamed and we walked toward Maria’s car.

“I’ll follow you guys in the Jeep. Mom wants me home early.”

“Ok, Arizona. Shall we head to the pizza parlor at the mall?”

Maria and Ali got into a red truck as I got into my Jeep and started the engine. I glanced fondly over at my new U+ before I followed the red truck out of the parking lot. We pulled into the strip mall with the sports shop I had visited earlier and parked right outside a small pizza place. We were the only customers. Since I had barely managed lunch, I was starving. We ordered a slice each and sat down in the corner. Maria and Ali looked at me curiously.

“So what’s up, Arizona? It seemed serious,” Maria said as she took a big bite off her slice.

“I’m thinking of giving up cheerleading.” I had decided to get straight to the point. Maria put her slice down and Ali just stared at me.

Maria stuttered, “Cheerleading is our life, it’s what we do! You can’t give it up! Why would you even say such a thing?”

“I want to give something else a try and cheerleading will clash with it.”

“What?” Ali practically yelled at me.

I hesitated and murmured, “Ice hockey.”

They went silent and looked at each other with somber expressions. Then they burst into laughter amidst snorts and guffaws. Ali’s face was streaming with tears.

“O-M-G, that’s the funniest thing ever! That’s why we love you so, you are hysterical but B-A-D! You really had us going there for a minute.”