Preservation (17 page)

I managed to make the phone call and arranged to meet Mark at the Irish pub around the corner at 1:00, thankful Ryan was teaching class that afternoon so I’d have a few minutes to myself to prepare. To say I was feeling nervous was a massive understatement.

“You look fantastic, Kate. Great to see you again,” Mark stood to pull out my chair, giving a gentlemanly bow as he kissed my hand. When he lifted his lips from my hand, he peered up at me with a charming, salesman smile, his twinkling blue eyes gleaming with delight.
He’d definitely make a killing on a car lot with that smile.

“So, I hear you’re working on a literary piece, correct? May I see what you have so far?” He flagged the waiter and ordered our drinks, then quickly skimmed the menu and ordered lunch for both of us.
Oookay
... I eyed the menu as he snatched it from my hand. “And don’t burn the bread.” He handed the menus back to the waiter with a dismissive wave. His gaze drifted over my chest for a moment, finding its way back to my face when he caught me staring.
Someone has wandering eyes.
I tugged at my neckline, wondering if my cleavage was too generous.

“It isn’t finished,” I replied. “And I know you’re only interested in completed manuscripts, so I’m not sure—”

“No worries, beautiful. Let’s see it.”

Chewing quietly on my salad, I gripped my napkin under the table, reminding myself to breathe every few seconds. He flipped casually from page to page, taking a bite of his lunch in between chapters. The silence was painful, but watching his brow crease as he read was even more agonizing. What was he thinking?
Does it suck? Should it be burned? The ashes scattered across the Pacific? Do I have a chance in hell?

“
Hhmm
,” Mark murmured, setting the manuscript down next to his plate, sitting back to stare at it intently. He finally looked up to address me, doing a double take when Ryan appeared, pulling up a chair to join us.

I stopped fidgeting with my napkin. “Ry...um, hi...”

“Hey, gorgeous, what is it? National Cleavage Day?” he mumbled under his breath before turning to Mark. My chin dropped and I adjusted my shirt again. “Hey Mark, hope I’m not intruding. Just managed to have someone cover my afternoon class so I could stop by and see how things are going.” He reached over and slipped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer.

“How did you know where I was?” I whispered while Mark ordered them both a beer.

“Got your text earlier,” he whispered back.

Mark returned his attention to Ryan, that fake smile still in place, an obvious hint of irritation peeking through. Even though Ryan and Mark had a professional history and seemed to be friendly acquaintances, it was clear I wasn’t the only one who
did
feel it was a bit of an intrusion. “Well...I understand, Ryan. It’s nice of you to stop by, although Kate and I haven’t had much time to discuss anything yet. I was just looking over her manuscript here...”

“It’s good, right? I haven’t seen writing that fresh since I’ve been teaching at the university. You’d be lucky to get your hands on her work, believe me.”

Dropping my gaze to my plate, I kicked him underneath the table, aiming for the most sensitive part of his shin. What the hell was he doing? It was sweet he wanted to be supportive, but I didn’t want him laying it on so thick. I wanted to earn this. Fair and square. It was already enough that he’d set me up with this meeting.

He winced but didn’t look at me, just removed his arm from my shoulders and leaned in to rest his elbows on the table, scooting back when the waiter set the drinks down.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it, Ryan. It’s definitely fresh. Sharp. Something we’d be interested in, for sure. But I’d like to discuss your future, Kate,” he tilted his head to look at me, “to get an idea of the direction you have in mind. I’m being very selective with who I represent at the moment. The market is changing, and the industry is as well. I’m in a position to be picky, cautious, even. Nothing personal, of course. All business.”

“Right, I understand.” I straightened up and gave him my full attention.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to take this with me,” he waved the manuscript with one hand, then stuffed it in his briefcase, glancing at his watch. “I have thirty minutes to make it to the other end of town, so I want to get a head start. But I’ll call you later this week so we can chat. Sound good?”

“Yes, definitely. Thanks so much for your time,” I stood to shake his hand and see him off. He exchanged a few words with Ryan and then left, leaving us with the bill.

“Well he was sure in a rush,” Ryan leaned back, resting an arm on the back of my chair.

“He’s a busy guy,” I pushed the remainder of the salad around on my plate.

“What’s the matter?” He took a sip of his drink, eyeing my plunging neckline again. “You have that look.”

“Nothing, I just can’t believe you skipped your class to be here. Won’t you get in trouble? For playing professor hooky?”

“No, I worked it all out. And what do you mean, ‘nothing’? You look pissed.”

“I just thought it was...inappropriate for you to show up like that. This was a business meeting, the guy is thinking of representing me.”

“What? Kate, Mark’s an old acquaintance, it’s no big deal.”

“Well, he didn’t seem as chummy with you today as he was at the conference dinner. He didn’t look very thrilled when you showed up.”

“He’ll get over it. I came here to support you, to tell him how valuable your work is.”

“Ry,” I handed the bill to the waiter but he stopped me, switching his credit card for mine. “I appreciate that, I really do. It was nice of you to skip class and think of me...”

“But I embarrassed you.”

“A little, yes. And I want to earn this. I don’t need you coming here, blowing smoke about how great I am, okay?”

“Shit, I’m sorry. The idea of seeing you get representation and being published is just...I’m jumping the gun, sorry. The last thing I want is to screw this up for you. I know what it’s like to have one shot,” he looked down and pulled the crust off of the last piece of bread.

It suddenly dawned on me why he cared so much, why he wanted to be here. He wanted to support me, but it was more than that. “Hey Ry, have you considered talking to Mark about your own work?”

“Sure, it’s crossed my mind. But this is your show, I’m not stealing it. Besides, I haven’t talked to the guy in ages. I don’t want to bombard him with requests to read my stuff. Putting in a good word for you is a little different. You’re a student, someone I can recommend.”

“Well, it’s still a possibility. Just try to stay on his good side,” I winked, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

“You mean don’t crash the party next time, I get it,” he chuckled and tossed his napkin down. “But you have to promise me not to wear anything that sexy in front of him again.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad. It’s elegant.”

“Oh, it’s elegant, alright. But any warm-blooded male isn’t admiring it for its sophistication. I mean it. Don’t wear that in front of him again.”

Crossing my arms and tilting my head, my warmness toward him instantly froze over. “If you think for one second you’re going to tell me what the hell to wear, you’re sorely mistaken, Mr. Campbell.”

“Ms. Parker,” he popped a mint into his mouth with a cocky grin. “
You’re
sorely mistaken if you think for one second I won’t show up to your next rendezvous with Mr. Important Agent Man to make sure he isn’t drooling over that glorious rack of yours.”

“Ryan Campbell. If we weren’t in a public place right now—”

“Battles, baby. You should know by now to choose them wisely with me. Now keep your panties on.” Standing, he reached for my hand. “On second thought,” he straightened his tie, “you’re much more fun when they’re off. Shall we?” He stepped aside to let me lead the way and I committed myself to keeping my coat off the entire walk home, no matter how cold it was outside. This was officially my new favorite top.

***

“Are you climbing the walls yet? Hearing voices? Seeing dead people?” Carter bit off a chunk of his pastry while I shuffled through the bouquets of flowers, on the hunt for the perfect set of lilies. The market was especially damp that morning, the cold air invigorating.

“I do still have a job, thank you very much. My cabin fever hasn’t escalated to
that
level of craziness yet. But my characters are driving me insane. They won’t shut up.”

Carter handed me a bouquet. “Isn’t that a good thing? No writer’s block that way, right?”

“Not enough iris,” I shooed the bouquet away, digging farther back on the table, spotting the perfect bunch. “Yes and no. I just need time away from it, need to step away for a while.”

“You want to come to our show tonight?”

“I’d love that, yeah.”

“Ryan should come out too, he doesn’t have class or anything tonight, does he?

“Nope, he’s off. But I don’t know if he’ll come.” I reached for some cash and paid for the flowers, popping open my umbrella when we made our way out onto the sidewalk.

“What? Why’s that?”

“He’s been locked away all week writing his own stuff. Well, revising, actually. He just finished a novel and he’s completely immersed in it. When he comes home from work, he barely says a word, just dives in. I feel like I’m coaxing him out of a cave just trying to get him to eat dinner.”

“
Hmmm
. Still no word on Felicia?”

“Nope. He won’t talk about her. Or Jamie for that matter. He gets all edgy. Hot and cold. The minute I even start treading that ground, he just shuts down.”

“It’s probably better that way, Kate. I’d leave it alone. It’s obviously history, you just had an uncomfortable run-in, that’s all.”

I sighed, “you’re right.”

“Kate,” Carter stopped me when we reached my place. “Why is this business about his ex-girlfriends bothering you? Come on, I can see those wheels turning. What’s the deal?”

Glancing up to my apartment window, I let out a long breath. “His relationship with Jamie was the most serious one he’s been in...before me, I mean. I can’t help it, it bothers me that he won’t tell me about it. I guess I just want to know what went so wrong, is that so bad?”

“Is that all?”

“No.”

“Well?”

“And the fact that he can barely even say her name...hurts. He really loved her. I haven’t loved anyone like that. Only him.”

“Hey,” Carter took my hand and kissed it, pulling my chin up. “Don’t do this. Compare yourself. Don’t even go there, okay? You said she was the reason he lost that publishing deal. I’m sure that’s why he doesn’t like talking about her.”

Leaning into him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed tight. “I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d be fending off Dean all on your own, that’s what you’d be doing.”

“Scary thought,” I smiled up at him and turned for the door. “Thanks.”

“Anytime ,” he winked.

I headed upstairs to find Ryan huddled up at the tiny desk in the bedroom, typing away. Smiling at his brown glasses and pajama pants, I set the bags down, calling out to him. “I’m home, Ry. Want some dinner?” No answer, just a distracted grunt. Sneaking up behind him, I pulled off my shirt and tossed it at him.

“You sure know how to get a man’s attention,” he swung around and smiled, chucked his glasses on the desk and lunged toward me.

“Hey! Nuh-uh, there’ll be none of that. I only wanted to know if you wanted dinner.”

“Aw, what? That’s false advertising, baby,” he turned to fetch my shirt and tossed it clear across the room, meeting my objection with a mischievous grin.

“Ryan, I mean it,” I shrieked when he wrestled me onto the bed. “I have to get ready, baby, come on!”

“Get ready for what?” He nuzzled against my neck, brushing his hand down my abdomen, landing on my hip. He was already taking his clothes off.

“I told Carter I’d go to his show tonight. You know...you can come if you want. Might do you some good to take a break...”

“You’re going out?” He dropped his shirt on the bed. “You told me you were going to read my revisions tonight, help me clean up the manuscript.”

Wincing, I shut my eyes and covered my forehead. “Shit. I did tell you that, didn’t I? Would you mind if I go over it tomorrow instead? I really want to go to the show and take a break from all of this writing.”

“Oh, fine. I’ll come with you. Let me jump in the shower first.”

“Good. I’ll cook while you shower and then I’ll get ready.”

Peeling himself off of me with a small whine of protest, he grabbed some clean clothes and wandered into the bathroom. When he shut the door behind him, I slipped off my bra and smirked when it hit the floor. Now I’d have his undivided attention while I cooked, sure he’d stay far away from his laptop. Taking a hard copy of his manuscript from the desk, I carried it with me to the kitchen, flipped to the first page, and started cooking the rice. I burned myself and dropped the spoon when I saw the dedication:
To Jamie. Without you, this novel wouldn’t have been possible.
In the center of the page, just below the typed dedication, sat a pencil drawing of a raven, with the word “Nevermore” scribbled underneath, erase marks surrounding it.