Pretending Hearts (25 page)

“Maybe you’re better off avoiding the brothers then. From what I know of them, they have a higher partner number than IQ level,” I said.

Casey ordered a beer and bottled water for me. After getting our drinks, I looked around to see if Levi had started setting up yet for his show. We had arrived a half an hour early because I didn’t want to miss any of the set. I also hoped the band planned to debut “Lost at Sea.”

Lifting up on my tiptoes, I scanned the crowd for Levi. I tugged on the sleeve of Casey’s dress when I spotted him at a table to the left of the stage. He was with the rest of the band and they appeared to be relaxing before the show. She followed me as I navigated around the crowd of bodies. Levi noticed me coming toward him and grinned broadly. Cole and Evan waved while Rain gave me a small smile.

“What’s with the outfit, Delia?” Cole asked. “The bar isn’t running a ugly sweater contest tonight. You’re gonna hurt our band rep.”

“Hello to you too, Cole.” I motioned Casey forward and pointed to each person at the table as I introduced them. “Casey, this is Levi, Cole, Evan and Rain.”

“I love your dress. Where did you buy it?” Rain directed her question at Casey.

As Rain and Casey began a brief discussion on shopping, I sauntered over to Levi. “I have something for you,” he announced.

I gave him a quizzical look. “You do?”

He reached behind him and grabbed something off of the table. When he turned back to me, I realized he held a black camera in his hands. He held it out for my inspection. He said, “I know you have a camera, but I thought you might want try this one out.”

“Is this yours?” I asked as he placed the camera in my waiting hands.

“My dad’s,” he answered. He hurriedly added, “I hope that’s not weird—giving you my dead father’s camera. But I know the camera cost a lot of money and it’s just been sitting in our hall closet since he passed away.”

“Levi, this is a Canon DSLR. It’s a far cry from my little point and shoot camera. I’ve seen them before and they can cost close to a thousand dollars,” I said with awe.

“Well, I want you to have it.” He didn’t give me a chance to object. “Besides I have an ulterior motive, I want you to take a few updated photos of the band for our website.”

I felt touched by the gift and nodded my acceptance. To be honest, I was kind of floored by how nice of a camera I had in my undeserving hands. I suspected if Levi reached to take the camera back, I might make a run for the exit. As soon as I had a chance, I planned to look up the specs of the camera and figure out just how badass my pictures were going to be.

“Thank you. I’ll make sure the photos come out perfect,” I promised. I’d have to remind myself to take photos of the other band members and not only zero in on Levi’s gorgeous face and sculpted body.

I checked over my shoulder and noticed Cole and Evan whispering behind our backs. My eyes narrowed as I noticed them playing a game of rock, paper and scissors while sending meaningful glances in Casey’s direction. I stomped over and growled low enough for their ears only. “If you two meatheads mistreat my friend, by tomorrow night, you’ll find this entire town plastered with posters of your picture and the caption
Beware: These two dicks gave me herpes
.”

Evan chuckled. “I like the way you think.”

“I’m not joking. You better leave her alone,” I hissed.

“I don’t know if I like the vibe I’m getting from you. I can’t be around this kind of negative energy before I play,” Cole said. He winked at me as he walked away. “Talk to you later.”

I gave him a disapproving look as I watched him start talking to Casey. I saw Casey’s eyes light up and I hoped she remembered her vow to stay away from douches.

“You know if you got to know us better, you would see that all we want in life is someone to see beyond our perfect faces and bodies and discover our beautiful souls,” Evan said. He lost his neutral expression and burst out in laughter. “You didn’t buy that bullshit, did you?”

“Not on your life,” I snapped. “And by the way, it’s weird how the two of you talk like you’re one person.”

Levi came up next to me and gave his brother an exasperated look. “I don’t even want to ask what’s going on. Just remember that Delia’s brother plays for the NFL. I don’t want him to beat you up badly enough that the only way you’ll get a date is by being a catfish online.”

“We’re cool, bro. She’s like the little sister I never had,” Evan teased.

Levi ignored his brother and faced me. “We have to go on soon. They have another band so our set is ending at midnight. Do you have plans for later?”

“I’ll have to check with Casey first, but I don’t think so.”

Evan snickered. “She’ll be busy later, believe me. Fuck me, why did I pick paper? Cole’s rock totally smashed my paper.”

“You’re a moron,” Levi addressed his brother. He kissed my cheek and said, “I’ll see you after.”

Levi and Rain went to the stage while Evan dragged Cole away from his conversation to Casey. Casey sighed as she watched the band take the stage. “Are you positive Cole is bad news? Because he sure is pretty to look at.”

I gestured to the crowd. “I don’t know. We could take a survey of the women here. By the scowling looks on half of their faces, I’m guessing the consensus will be he’s a dog.”

“Damn,” she swore. “Is there something in a guy’s DNA that doesn’t allow him to be gorgeous and committed simultaneously? That’s why the age men marry is so much higher than women’s. As soon as they start losing their hotness, they decide its time to settle down.” She gave me a meaningful look. “Don’t let Levi be your white whale.”

“Like Moby Dick?”

“Don’t look so surprised, I am in college. I do read,” she huffed. “You’re not going to find many guys like Levi and just because the timing isn’t the best, you shouldn’t let him get away.”

Saying the timing wasn’t the best was putting things lightly. The ticking of the clock pulsed in my blood. Each second, each minute, each hour that passed was leading to an inevitable explosion. My heart wanted Levi, but falling in love with Levi wouldn’t prevent the detonation bound to destroy both of our hearts.

***

The band wowed Casey. I think whether or not she hit it off with Cole wouldn’t affect her new fandom. Rain knew how to work the room and all of the songs were crowd pleasers. My heart was thumping wildly when their version of “Hurt” ended and Levi rose from his chair at the back of the stage.

Rain’s voice was seductive as she spoke into the microphone. “I know you guys are used to us playing covers, but we have something special planned for you tonight. Our very own Levi Caldwell has written a song that will definitely cause some wet panties in the audience tonight.” Levi shook his head as Rain smiled broadly at him. She clapped and gestured him forward. “And not only did our luscious Levi write the song. He’s going to sing for us!”

Whistles and screams erupted in the audience and I felt my toes curl in anticipation. Levi looked sheepish from the attention, but he still stepped forward. He adjusted the microphone and he paused to scan the crowd. Our eyes locked and I swore the entire room disappeared. I was only seeing him and he was only seeing me. And the way he looked my way told me that we’d never only be friends. His stare penetrated my skin and I could see the promise of what his touch could do to me. Maybe my intentions were different when we met, but he had seized my heart and wasn’t letting go anytime soon.

Casey nudged my ribs. “Holy shit! If a single look could bring on an orgasm, you were just on the receiving end of one.”

I didn’t tear my eyes away from Levi to respond to her. “I’m feeling a little lightheaded. Please don’t let me pass out and miss his song.”

Casey handed me the water and I started to guzzle it down. I had too many emotions coursing through me and I told myself to get a grip. But I couldn’t put a stop to the fire raging over my skin. I wanted him. I wanted him to grip my body in the same way he held the microphone and drive into me until I was screaming his name.

“This is for a girl who needs to believe in silver linings.” Levi’s voice sounded gravelly as he took the microphone.

Not much in the way of finding bright lights,

But on this starless night I was much more than blinded.

You don’t know what you’re doing, but you’re doing it right.

They say you don’t realize what you’ve found until you find it.

Not much in the way of pretentiousness,

We bear our wounds, we’re reckless and defenseless,

And I’d shield you from what you could never face head on,

I’d hold you in my arms till Armageddon.

I can’t seem to decide when it all really started,

But I got most of it regardless, your eyes seemed so harmless.

Whatever currents come you will always keep turning me on,

'Cause we have the right to be, just like we’re lost at sea, and we’re burning strong.

You got in the way and you showed me such bright lights,

And I had no recollection, of ever being so alive,

You made me who I am, cause you’ve never given up on me,

And I only hope I made you feel as wanted and as pretty.

I can’t seem to decide when it all really started,

But I got most of it regardless, your eyes seemed so harmless.

Whatever currents come you will always keep turning me on,

'Cause we have the right to be, it’s like we were lost at sea, and we’re burning strong….

He added verses I never heard before and I imagined him speaking directly to me through his song. Levi wanted to be with me and I kept fighting him because I thought I needed to stay away for his own good. But who gave me the right to decide for him? Common sense may have dictated we couldn’t work out under the circumstances. But I had to remember I’d witnessed relationships that defied the odds.

“Don’t worry, you can ditch me,” Casey laughed as she spoke into my ear. She leaned in close to speak over the deafening roar that had taken over the bar once Levi finished his song. All eyes were on him and I could safely assume he would no longer be able to fade into the background without anyone taking notice.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’ll make myself scarce after their set and you can invite Levi back to your apartment.”

My face was likely the shade of an eggplant. “I’m not going to sleep with him. Okay, maybe I’ve been a little hasty in my decision to push him away. But I can’t just suddenly pretend no outside forces are keeping us apart—”

Casey grabbed hold of my arm and squeezed. “As your friend, I am going to be perfectly honest with you. And tell you that you’re being a fucking idiot.”

I pointed to her beer. “How many of those have you had? Because I don’t think you driving home is a good idea.”

“This is my first one.” She put the beer down on the table. “Levi is in love with you and you can’t play catch and release with him over and over again. You’re not being fair to him or yourself.”

“He’s not in love with me.”

She slapped her forehead. “Like I said you’re a fucking idiot.” She shook her head at me and widened her blue eyes. “It’s not just a little crush. For chrissakes, he’s writing love songs in your honor. How much more obvious can he be? I don’t think he could do a much bigger gesture. He does have ink on his arms, maybe you can just wait for him to tattoo your name on himself.”

“You’re a huge pain in the ass, you know?”

“No, I’m the annoying voice of reason when it comes to love. Well, with the exception of my own love life.” Her stare was intense. “I know you have your issues with Blake and Autumn, but setting all other things aside, I think you understand how much they truly love one another. And what I’m witnessing between you and Levi is making me have flashbacks to when they first met.”

I didn’t continue arguing with her. I’d been fighting against the falling in love, but I’ve should have seen that love wasn’t what I should have been avoiding. I was afraid of heartache, but never having love in the first place was likely a worse fate.

Levi was a rarity. And smart girls didn’t run away from the Levis of the world. They ran straight into their arms.

Hours later, Levi and I were alone and back at my apartment. Casey had stayed at the bar until Trojan Jedi’s last song and then ditched me as promised. Cole appeared disappointed by her hasty departure, but I assumed he wouldn’t pine for too long. I believed Casey was over casual hookups and wanted her own love story.

There had been an electric vibe humming between Levi and me since we arrived back at my place. He was happy and talkative and I could tell he didn’t regret his decision to take the stage.

I had told Levi before I wished he were more ambitious, but it wasn’t because I was discontent with who he was. If Levi told me he would always work in the college’s maintenance department, I wouldn’t have liked him any less. I only wanted him to show the world that the guy who tried to fly under the radar was the one who could end up blowing you away.