Pretty Hate (New Adult Novel) (11 page)

“Yes! That’s my problem, you know. I don’t have a lot of
positive
forces in my life.”

“Well, you do now. We’ll help each other, okay? We’ll brainstorm about a business and make it so.”

“I’d love that. Okay!”

“Lucia just came out,” India said, “I want you to meet her. Hold on.”

India got up from the table and I heard chattering in the background mixed with the sounds of the waves.

“Lucia, meet Beth, my new friend,” India said and pushed Lucia in front of the monitor.

She wore a bohemian-style blouse and her hair was up in a ponytail. She didn’t look much older than Rebel Love and nothing like my mother. She smiled as she stared in the monitor and studied me.

“Hello, dear one,” she said. “I’ve heard so many incredible things about you from India.”

“Thank you, it’s nice to meet you.”

“You must come out to the house, we would love to have you,” she said and smiled.

“Yes!” India said in the background. “Beth, when can you come out?”

“I will leave you girls to work out the details,” Lucia said.

“Okay,” I said. “Thank you for the invitation.”

“Our home is open to you anytime, dear one. Talk to you soon.”

India sat back down in front of the monitor.

“Jesus, your mother is so cool! And beautiful, my God.”

“She’s very cool. Always has been. So, when are you coming?”

“I’m not sure--”

“Oh! Come next weekend! Kenny/Kimmy has a show in the city. They’ll be a bunch of people here and we’re all going in together in one of Baron’s huge limo’s. You have to come. We need to get you out of Dog Patch and into the real world, Beth!”

“Dog Patch,” I said and chuckled. “You sure nailed that. I’ll have to see if I have the money, India. I told you how I lost my job.”

“Tickets can’t be that much. Too bad Declan’s not here, he leaves his plane at Montauk airport, but someone’s using it for the next few weeks.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Have you ever been on a plane before, Beth?” she said and pressed her nose against the monitor. “No lying.”

“No,” I said and put my head down, “I’m probably the only friend you have that’s never been on a plane.”

“Fuck, Beth. We need to change that! First thing you have to know is that you must always fly Delta, unless you’re in a private plane. But when you’re on a big plane, you always fly Delta, no matter what. Don’t ask me why, just know that terrible things will happen if you do not fly Delta. Understand?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Good. Hey, what’s your address? I need to send you something in anticipation for your entrance into the world of air travel. You can’t do it without what I’m sending. It’s important.”

“I honestly don’t think I’m going to be able to get out there next weekend, India. Seriously.”

“Shush! Put the intention out there and it will happen, okay?”

“Okay,” I said and laughed.

I gave Lucia my address and we chatted for another half hour before she had to go for dinner. I told her I’d offer up my intention to go to Montauk the following weekend and we made plans to Skype the next day.

I logged into Facebook and began my cyclical stalking as Stephanie called to tell me about her date with some guy she met at the bookstore.

“So, do you think you’ll go out with him again? Has he called? Will you call him?” I said.

“No,” she said. “It’s only been a day. How long does
Cosmo
say to wait?”

“Um, I think they say three days,” I said as I focused on a post. “Holy shit!”

“What?”

“Trinity Epstein has a date!”

“Who the fuck is
Trinity Epstein
?”

“This chick, she’s friends with Nicolas. God, Steph, she says she’s looking forward to spending some “quality time” with a “special guy” at a luau. Is that Nicolas?”

“Jesus, Beth, you need a real date! How long has it been since you left the house?”

“Can we just focus for a minute? What do you think it means?”

“What do I think
what
means?”

“The post Trinity Epstein made about the date. Please?”

“I’m pretty sure they only have luaus in Hawaii, Beth. Is Nicolas in Hawaii?”

“No,” I said and studied Trinity Epstein’s latest profile picture. “Do you think I should dye my hair blond?”

“Beth, what did I just say?”

“You said they only have luaus in Hawaii. But I’m pretty sure luau could be a universal term for a gathering in a tropical location and Bali is tropical. I’ll Google.”

“Beth?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to go.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

As I was Googling luau, Ivory-Lou walked into my room.

“Hey, freakazoid, dinner. Now.”

“Uh, don’t we respect privacy in this house anymore?” I said and sat up on my bed.

“Dinner. Now. Let’s go.”

“I’m not hungry,” I said.

“Did I ask you a motherfucking question? Close that goddamn computer before I throw it off the fucking roof and get your pasty ass to the dinner table. You have one minute.”

“Jesus, okay! I just need to check something.”

Ivory-Lou knelt down beside my bed and put his hand over my laptop keyboard. I looked at him and he smiled.

“I think being inside this deprivation tank for a week solid has affected your hearing. What do you think?”

“I heard you,” I said and stared at him. “I just wanted--”

Ivory-Lou took a deep breath and took my hand off my computer and shut the screen. He moved his face closer to mine and smiled.

“Do you trust that I have no goddamn problem climbing up to my roof, a roof that I provide for you, and flinging this here electronic device, an electronic device that I also provided for you, off the aforementioned roof like a motherfucking Frisbee?”

“No,” I said and slid off my bed.

“No, is right. Now, let’s have a nice dinner, shall we?”

I walked into the dining room and sat between Rebel Love and Sadie as Ivory-Lou sat at the head of the table.

Yolanda brought a huge tray piled high with thick steaks to the table as Gemini and Rachel grabbed bowls of vegetables and wine.

“These steaks look beautiful, baby,” Rebel Love said and leaned over and kissed Ivory-Lou on the cheek. “You’ve become quite the grill master.”

“Thank you, baby,” Ivory-Lou said and held up his knife and fork. “Dig in, everyone.”

“Beth, get a steak,” Rebel Love said as I piled my plate full of potatoes. “You need some iron.”

“I don’t eat meat,” I said and grabbed a spoonful of corn. “Is this organic?”

“Organic
?” Yolanda said. “It’s goddamn Green Giant.”

Ivory-Lou stared at me and put his knife and fork on the table.

“Beth, get a steak,” he said and pointed at the meat.

“I told Rebel Love, I don’t eat meat.”

“It’s okay,” Rebel said, “just eat some salad.”

“Beth,” Ivory-Lou said, “get a steak.”

All of the women at the table put their knives and forks down and looked at their plates. I looked around the table and shook my head.

“I told Rebel Love that I don’t eat meat.”

Ivory-Lou crossed his arms at his chest and nodded.

“Beth, get a steak.”

“No. I don’t eat meat.”

“Bullshit! I took you to McDonalds the day before Halloween and watched your skinny ass deep throat a fucking Big Mac! Now, get a steak.”

“No! Do you have any idea the unimaginable ways that cow,” I said and pointed to the tray, “suffered in order to end up on that tray? You are a fucking barbarian!”

“Goddamn straight I am,” Ivory-Lou said and nodded. “Ladies, why don’t you take your plates to the patio? It’s a beautiful night to eat outside.”

Rebel Love pinched my leg under the table and I stood up with the rest of the girls.

“Uh, no, not you, Beth. I want you to sit down right next to me so we can have a nice chat over a great meal.”

I sat down next to Ivory-Lou as all the girls left the room.

“Sit up straight at my table, Beth,” Ivory-Lou said.

“I’m not eating that meat.”

“Beth, what is going on with you?”

“What?” I said.

“I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me which drugs you’re doing. Now, you know I ain’t a prude, you know this. I party sometimes too. I ain’t your father, Lord knows, don’t want to be, but if I have a filthy, thieving addict under this roof, I want to know.”

“I’m not doing drugs, Ivory-Lou.”

He looked at me and cocked his head.

“You mean you’re acting like a crazy-ass
sober
? Jesus Christ, I was hoping for heroin because at least that would explain a thing or two.”

“I’m not on drugs. I am discontent with my life.”

“Then do something to motherfucking change it!” he said and pounded his fists on the table. “What the fuck? Here we go again screaming during a goddamn meal! My fucking stomach can’t take this shit, Beth. Change your fucking life!”

“I’m trying,” I said and looked at the plate as tears slid down my face.

“Look at me, Beth. See that woman out there?” he said and pointed over his shoulder at Rebel Love. “Look at her.”

I looked outside at Rebel Love and she stared at me and smiled.

“I see her.”

“Good, that woman is worried about you. I just assume leave your ass in that room for months so I don’t have to look at your
discontent
face, but I love that woman and she loves you. When Rebel Love is upset, it makes me upset. So, eat meat or don’t eat meat, fucking go on about organic vegetables or turn into one of those demonstration bitches like Mazie Goodnight, I don’t give a fuck, but whatever you do, you best be doing it with a smile on your face, do you hear me? Why are you crying?” he said and sighed.

“India invited me to Montauk next weekend. She said I only have to voice my intention to go to Montauk to the universe and it’ll happen. Except, stuff like that happens to everyone but me. Then, I had a dream last night that Nicolas came to the house to surprise me. I dreamt that he cut his trip short because he couldn’t be without me for another second and he told me he loved me. And in my dream, everything my mother said would happen with Nicolas, did not. And all I can think about is that everything she said would happen is happening!”

Ivory-Lou cut into his steak and stabbed a big piece of meat with his fork. He held the fork in front of his lips and stared at me.

“Do you know where my mama is?” he said.

“No.”

“Me neither,” he said and shoved the fork into his mouth. “Toughen up.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

A few nights later, a gift-wrapped package came from India with instructions to call her before I open it.

“Hey! I can’t believe you sent me a gift. Thank you so much,” I said.

“No problem. Now, open it.”

I tore off the wrapping paper and stared at the box.

“India!”

“What? Do you have one?”

“No! These were just released,” I said as I stared at the brand new iPod. “I can’t believe you bought me an iPod!”

“It’s not a big deal. Anyway, it’s essential for travel. Especially the travelling you will be doing.”

“Yeah, about that...”

“Shush, I don’t want to hear a word about your trip until you call me and tell me you’re on your way.”

“What if I don’t?”

“You will. Now, open it up. There are two songs loaded on and I need to explain them.”

I opened the box and turned the iPod on and looked at the two songs India loaded into the device.

“Um, okay, I’m looking at them.”

“Good. Now, what’s the first song?”

“Cut Dead
, Jesus and Mary Chain,” I said.

“Yes, do you know it?”

“I know their songs.”

“Good. Now, anytime you’re sad, anytime your heart is broken, anytime you feel like just ending it, you are to listen to that song on a loop until you feel better, understand?”

“I do. Man, I’ll listen to it as soon as we get off the phone.”

“Good. Now, look at the second song. What is it?”

“Tuesday’s Gone
, Lynyrd Skynyrd.”

“And I assume, living in Dog Patch, you are familiar with that song?”

“Yes, of course,” I said and laughed. “It’s not a bad song. I like it. Sad.”

“Yes, but this song is to be listened to at a specific time and in a specific way. Are you ready?”