Pretty Pink Ribbons (28 page)

“Open the door, Laney.” I sigh in relief when I hear Benny’s voice through the door instead of Luke’s. My little brother doesn’t need to see this. No one needs to see this.

“Go away, Benny.” My hands drop from my hair and I turn around, propping them up on the sink. My head dips low and I draw in a ragged breath.

“Laney Jacobs.” My head snaps up at Levi’s firm voice. “You have three seconds to open this goddamn door or I will kick the fucker down.” I close my swollen eyes and wipe angrily at the tears that are still racing down my face. “One . . .”

I look up at the door, then at the mess on the floor. I don’t want them to see me break down. I don’t want them to see me like this.

I drop to the toilet seat. “Levi, please—”

“Two,” he yells. His strong voice sends shivers down my spine. Damn him, and damn Benny because I’m sure he had something to do with Levi showing up at my house only minutes after I left his. Well, let them kick the stupid door in; it’ll be their problem to fix, not mine. Although this is my only bathroom and I’d prefer not to be without a door.

I can hear faint whispering, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. “Three.” My eyes pinch shut and I tense up, waiting for the door to fly open. Several seconds pass and I chance a peek to find that the door is now wide open and there are two brooding men standing in front of me. “Turns out, I just needed a coin.” Levi holds up said penny and shrugs.
Stupid child lock doors.

Benny pushes past Levi. “Your boyfriend is a fucking Neanderthal.” He squats down in front of me and takes in our surroundings before his eyes fly to mine. His face is awash with kindness and compassion, but I’m still too raw and I can’t do this right now.

I shove myself off the toilet seat, brushing past Benny and Levi, taking extra precaution not to touch either one of them or look them in the eye. If I do, I’m afraid of what I’ll find, and I’m not ready to see pity. I can hear two sets of feet bound after me. They’re not going to stop . . . and if I’m being honest, I don’t want them to. I keep trying to remind myself that they love me and they’re worried about me, so I leave my door open when I walk in my room, silently inviting them in. Even facing the other direction, I know they’re both standing there because their presence in a room is demanding. Not to mention, the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up, and that’s usually a good indicator that Levi is within close proximity.

I spin around to face them at the same time my front door opens and then slams shut. “Laney?!” Luke comes barreling down the hall, pushes past Benny and Levi, and doesn’t stop until he’s toe to toe with me. His golden eyes bounce around my body, and I can tell the moment that he notices my hair. “Oh, Laney.” He yanks me into his arms, and for several seconds I just stand there, unable to move. Then something inside of me crumbles, and I wrap my arms around my brother.

“I’m losing my hair, Luke,” I cry, squishing my face into his chest. “I don’t want to lose my hair. This isn’t fair. I don’t want to be bald and I don’t want to wear a wig, and I don’t want people to stare at me and wonder what’s wrong. I just want to be normal and have hair and boobs. Is that too much to ask for?” I sniff. “Hair and boobs. That’s all I need.” The words sound funny when I say them aloud, and I choke back a laugh because it just doesn’t seem appropriate to go from bawling like a baby to cracking up in a matter of seconds.

“Your hair will grow back, Lane.” I can’t see Benny because I still have my face buried in Luke’s shirt, but his voice is laced with sympathy.

“Plus, you still have one breast, and it’s a really great breast.” My head snaps up and I stare at Levi in horror, shocked that he would say that in front of Luke and Benny. “What? It’s true.” I keep staring and he keeps shoving his foot further and further into his mouth. “I don’t care if you only have one breast. You could have no breasts and I’d still find you insanely attractive. It would be a little bit harder to get you off—”

“Stop.” Luke’s voice booms through air. Still clutching me tightly in his arms, he spins around and glares at Levi. “I do
not
need to know about my sister’s breasts. Please, for the love of God, don’t
ever
talk about her boobs or lack thereof again if it in any way pertains to anything unrelated to her cancer. There is only so much a brother can handle, and that’s just pushing the limits.”

We all stand in stunned silence for a solid minute before Benny and Levi start to bust up laughing. Levi’s head falls back and a deep throaty laugh erupts from his mouth that does nothing but send tingly sensations to all my fun parts. Benny slaps Levi on the back and they do one of those weird man-hug things.

“So . . .” Luke says, stepping away from me. “You and Levi, huh?”

“Yup.”

“You never told me.” He looks hurt, and I instantly regret not sharing that with my brother. He’s been busy with work but we text or talk nearly every day, and I should’ve told him.

“I’m sorry, Luke. Things have just been crazy, and it all sort of happened really fast.”

“It’s okay. Just tell him not to talk about your boobs in front of me again, okay?”

“You got it.” I giggle, amazed at how quickly these three wonderful men were able to make me feel better.

“So . . .” Benny eyes me up and down, hands on hips. “Your hair looks like it could use a cut.” Levi smacks him upside the back of the head and walks over to me. He wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side.

“You’re right,” I say, pursing my lips, preparing myself for my next words. “I think it’s time to shave my head.” I haven’t looked in a mirror, but I’m sure my little tirade in the bathroom did nothing but make me look like a cat with mange.

“Only when you’re ready, baby.” Levi kisses the side of my head and my brother rolls his eyes.

“So how did you guys all end up here, anyway?” I ask, shooting Benny an accusatory glance.

He raises his hands innocently, but before I can call him out on it, Luke speaks up. “Benny called me,” he confesses.

“What the fuck, dude?” Levi shoots Benny a glare. “You called him and not me?”

“Wait . . . who called you?” I ask Levi.

“No one. I woke up and you were gone—”

“Wait a second,” Luke interjects. “Woke up? Are you sleeping over there?”

“Butt out, Luke,” I say, keeping an eye on Levi. “Keep going.”

“I got your note, but it didn’t make sense because last night you told me you didn’t have any plans until this evening.” Levi runs a hand along the back of his neck. “Then I went into the bathroom to take a piss and your hair was all over the sink. I knew something had happened so I came straight here.”

His words melt my heart. “Thank you.” I push up on my tiptoes and kiss him. My mouth traces the seam of his lips until he grants me access, and I sink my fingers into his hair, angling my head to the side. Levi’s arms wrap around my back and he picks me up, my legs dangling beneath me.

“Fuck,” Luke hisses from across the room. “This shit is going to drive me crazy.” Levi laughs, breaking the kiss, and looks over my shoulder.

“Get out, Luke. You’re cock-blocking me,” Levi quips, a wide smile gracing his gorgeous face. Luke mumbles a string of curse words and Benny laughs, pushing him out of my bedroom, leaving Levi and me alone.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his brows dipped low. “I was really worried about you.”

“I’m okay.” I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands and take a deep breath. “I’ll be okay. I just freaked out. I was ready for it, but I wasn’t, ya know?” Levi scoops me up and sits down on my bed, settling me in his lap.

“So what do you want to do?”

“I think I’m ready to shave it. I don’t want to walk around looking like this,” I say, lifting a strand of what’s left of my hair.

“I’ve got an idea.” Levi smirks, tapping my nose. “Get into an old shirt, get the clippers and meet me in the bathroom.”

“Okay . . .” I say skeptically, giggling when he slaps my butt on the way out the door. I have absolutely no idea what he has planned; all I know is that when my head hits the pillow tonight, I’ll be bald. Unlike earlier, I find that the thought of that doesn’t make me panicky. Maybe I just needed to have a meltdown. Maybe I just needed a good old-fashioned cry. Or maybe I just needed these three men to remind me that losing my hair isn’t the worst thing in the world. Losing my life would be, and if one of the side effects of the medicine that may save my life requires me to be bald, then I guess that’s just something I’m going to have to learn to live with.

TEN MINUTES LATER I’M standing in the bathroom, clippers in hand, wondering what in the heck is taking so long. “Are you coming?” I holler, not really sure who I’m hollering at.

“Christ, you’re impatient,” Benny says, walking into the bathroom followed by Luke and Levi. They’re all holding beers and Luke puts a shot glass full of clear liquid in front of me.

“Water?” It better be water. I’m a lightweight, and the last thing I need is to get rip-roaring drunk right before I shave my head. On second thought . . . that might not be such a bad idea. I reach for the glass, tip my head back and cringe as the liquid burns my throat. With my nose scrunched, I hand him the glass.

“Atta girl,” Levi says, popping the top on a bottle of beer and handing it to me.

“What was the shot for?” I ask, taking a swig.

“Just to loosen you up.” Luke gently guides me down onto the side of the tub and peels his shirt off. Standing in front of the mirror, he says, “I’ll go first.” My eyes widen and I set my beer down.

“Luke, what are you doing?” Apparently what I say doesn’t matter because no one answers me as Levi picks up the clippers and runs a straight line over the top of Luke’s head.

“Oh my gosh!” I gasp, my hand covering my mouth. I wait for Luke to turn around and deck Levi, but he doesn’t. He just stands there patiently as Levi keeps making swipe after swipe until my brother’s hair is nothing but a short buzz. I watch in stunned silence as Luke brushes the stray hairs from his head into the sink and pulls his shirt back on. Before I can even form words, Benny yanks
his
shirt off and Levi makes a swipe down Benny’s head.

“Benny,” I sigh, at a complete loss for words. Levi gives Benny the same buzz cut and then immediately reaches behind his head to pull his own shirt off.

“No.” I shake my head furiously, pushing up from the tub. “This is too much. You don’t have to do this.”

“This isn’t up for discussion, pretty girl.” Levi gives me a gentle kiss on the cheek and gestures for me to sit back down on the ledge of the tub.

“Do you want to do the honors?” Luke asks, holding out the clippers.

“No. You do it,” I say, overwhelmed by how supportive and caring these men are. I expect it from Luke, because that’s how I raised him, but never in a million years would I expect Benny and Levi to follow suit. It hits me all at once that these three wonderful men are doing this for me because they love me and don’t want me to go through this alone. I just know that the women they end up with will be very lucky, and I pray to God I’m that woman for Levi.

A finger snaps in front of my face, and I shake the fog from my head and look up. Levi, Luke and Benny are all standing in front of me with completely shaved heads. The sight alone is enough to bring a grown woman to her knees. When I think of all that they could be doing today, a tingling warmth saturates my skin and my chest feels like it’s expanded. I don’t know what I did to deserve this, but I know that I’ll never be able to repay the kindness and support they’ve shown me today.

I stand up and pull my brother into my arms. “Love you, Luke.” He whispers the words in return and kisses the side of my head. I slip out of his embrace and then squeeze Benny around the waist, smashing my face into his chest. “Thank you, Benny,” I whisper, emotion finally starting to clog my throat. In true Benny form, he stays quiet, although his arms do find their way around me.

After a minute or two, Levi clears his throat and Benny chuckles. I move to pull away but Benny squeezes me tighter, refusing to let go, which is completely okay with me. Right now, I just need to show each of them how much I love them. Apparently, Levi isn’t too happy with the extra show of affection because I soon find myself being ripped from Benny’s arms and tucked firmly against Levi’s hard chest.