Priest (A Standalone Bad Boy Romance Love Story) (19 page)

CHAPTER
FORTY

JACE

I spent the week trying to figure out what
to do. I saw Daphne every day, but we hadn't had sex again since that night on
the couch. I loved just being with her. We had dinner together, watched television,
cuddled…normal couple stuff. Things that I, as a priest, should never
experience.

The only way I would ever be able to
completely devote myself to her is if I left the church. I wished that was as
easy as quitting a job. There were so many parts of it I loved and so much of
it I believed in deeply. It wouldn't be easy, but when I compared it with the
idea of leaving Daphne, there was no contest. I had to be with her. She’d become
my lifeline.

I was about to go out to the grocery store
when my phone rang. I looked at it and saw that it was Ryan. I rolled my eyes.
I love my brother, but sometimes I am just not in the mood for him. With a deep
sigh, I slid it to answer and put it to my ear. “Hey, bro, what’s up?”

“Nothing much, I just wondered if you
happened to catch that Yanks game last night?”

“Yeah, they got lucky.”

I wasn’t a Yankees fan; it drove my
brothers crazy.

“Lucky my ass,” he said. “It was pure
skill and they’re going to the Series this year.”

I laughed. “You keep dreaming, little bro.
Maybe one day that’ll come true. Doubtful, but nothing is impossible.”

“Like you having sex?”

“Man, Ryan, you have got to stop saying
that. For one thing, it never should have happened while I was still wearing
the collar.”

“Wait…what? While you were ‘still’ wearing
it? What do you mean by that?”

Damn, I didn’t mean to bring this up until
I decided for sure what to do. I was stuck now. I knew Ryan and he won’t just
let anything go. “Yeah, I’m thinking about leaving the church.”

“For what? A good fuck?”

“Ryan! Knock it off.”

“Sorry…Father. Jace, listen to me, and let
me finish before you chastise my language, okay? Some things just need to be
said straight up. Man, the first time I got me a taste of pussy, I knew what it
must feel like to do drugs. I would do anything to get it again, and again and
again. But dude, after a while…as much as I still love me some pussy…I figured
out it’s not worth giving things up that are that important to you.

“You’ve been the best one of us your whole
life. Grandma saw it and that’s why you’re the one she pushed towards the
church and not me or Max. Look, I’m as Catholic as the next guy…” I laughed, I
couldn’t help it. “What? I go to church…almost every Sunday.”

“Okay, forgive me. I somehow thought that
living the life of a good Catholic, the rest of the week mattered.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“I know this, Ryan. This is why I need to
leave. I don’t want to live a double life, but I do want to live a life with
Daphne. She’s what’s been missing all along. She’s what I’ve been looking for.
I love her.”

“Whoa, the L word. Wow! So, you’ve decided
this for sure?”

“No, not for sure. I know that it’s what I
want; I’m just still trying to figure out if it’s the right thing. I’m hoping
God will send me some kind of sign.”

Ryan busted up laughing. I waited until he
was finished and then I said, “It’s so good to have your support.”

“Hey, I’m an asshole and we both know it.
But, I always have your back, no matter what you decide, okay? Just make sure
you’re doing what’s best for you in the long run.”

“Thanks, man. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

CHAPTER
FORTY-ONE

DAPHNE

I was gathering up my laundry to take it
down to the laundry room when there was a knock on my door. I felt a tickle in
my belly. I was hoping it was Jace since he knew I had the day off. I pulled it
open with a big smile and found Bethany standing there. “Oh…hey!”

She raised an eyebrow. “Who were you
expecting?”

“No one, come on in.” She walked in and
looked around like she was looking for someone. “I really wasn’t expecting
anyone. You want some coffee?”

“I’d love some.” While I got the Keurig
ready, she said, “What was the big, cheesy smile about when you opened the
door?”

“I’m just happy. What’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing wrong with it,” she said, “It’s
just unusual.”

I laughed. “Really? Am I usually that
miserable?” I pulled out one cup and handed it to her and fixed the next cup
for me. She poured sugar and cream into her drink and stirred it while she
stared at me. “What?”

“Why would you see someone and not want to
tell me?”

Giggling nervously, I said, “What are you
talking about?”

She sighed. “I came by last night. I was
parking, and I looked up and saw you letting a man in here. Then today, you act
like you’re expecting someone and you’re really happy about it. I thought we
were friends. Why are you holding out on me?”

“Jesus, Beth! We are friends, best
friends. Look at all you did for me, getting me this job and helping me find
this apartment. I love you.”

She carried her cup over to the table and
sat down. I finished fixing my coffee and went and sat down with her. “Then why
don’t you want to talk to me?” she asked with a pout.

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you… I’m
just… It’s just…”

“Oh, Daphne, please tell me it’s not the
priest. Please!”

I had made the mistake of telling Bethany
about Jace one drunken night. Then I also made the mistake of introducing her
to my church…Jace’s church. I didn’t think it was a big deal until now. She was
taking church serious...like I should be.

“It’s not. I told him that was over…”

“When?”

“Right afterward.”

“You’re lying. You told me afterward that
you were still thinking about him.”

I guess I had told her the same things as
I did Carla.

“Why are you pushing this? It’s not like
you to get so involved in other people’s business.”

“First off, you’re not just ‘other’ people,
Daph. You’re my best friend. Second, this is a priest. You should not be having
sex with a priest. Do you know what kind of horrible sin that is?”

“Yeah, I do. That’s why we’re not still
seeing each other.”

“I hope you’re not lying to me. It still
doesn’t explain who I saw coming in here last night.”

“He was just a friend, that’s all.”

“What’s his name?”

“Ryan.” Jace’s brother was the first man
who came to mind.

She was still looking at me suspiciously.
“Your face is red. I love you, Daph, but I think you’re lying. Honey, you know
I’m no prude. I would have no argument with you going out and getting a little.
But, baby girl, you cannot be having sex with a priest.”

“I heard you, Bethany. I told you-”

“I know what you said. I don’t believe
you. This is so wrong.”

Jesus. This is what I get for recruiting
Catholics, I guess. “Bethany, it’s really over. I need you to not tell anyone
it ever happened, okay? You’ll ruin his life and possibly mine. If you won’t do
it for him, please, do it for me.”

“You have to promise me it’s over. I can’t
sit in church every week and listen to him saying mass and know he screwed you
the night before.”

I was on the verge of both losing my best
friend and being exposed for sleeping with a priest.

I wanted so badly to tell her that at
least I was only sleeping with one man. At least I didn’t sleep with every man
I went out with, but I knew even in spite of the fall-out that might bring
about, it was wrong.

I did love Bethany in spite of her wild
lifestyle and I wasn’t going to use that against her. “I promise, Beth. Please
promise me you won’t say anything.”

She looked reluctant but she said,
“Okay…fine, I promise. But Daph, if I see you two together-”

“You won’t, okay? You just won’t.” She
stayed and finished her coffee, but things were weird between us when she left.
I regretted ever telling her. She could ruin Jace, and in the process, me.

CHAPTER
FORTY-TWO

JACE

“Father Jace, which hymn should I open
with this week?” Mrs. Smythe, our church’s seventy-year-old pianist, was in my
office at the church. She’d come in to ask me something about an upcoming
wedding and the conversation had gone way south…the way it usually did with
Mrs. Smythe.

“I don’t mind, Mrs. Smythe; whichever hymn
you prefer.”

“I’m just not sure, Father…” She may have
gone on all day, but at that moment, the Bishop walked in with two other
priests I didn’t recognize. I jumped to my feet, and Mrs. Smythe’s eyes widened
as if God Himself had just walked in.

The Bishop smiled at her, and she giggled
like a schoolgirl and raced out. He landed his steely gaze on me then…minus the
smile. “Father Jace, this is Father Michael and Father Richard. They work at
the diocese with me in the investigations unit. Can we speak with you for a few
moments?”

“Of course, Bishop O’Dell. There’s not
much room in here; would you like to go into the conference room?” My palms
were suddenly sweating. There was only one reason why the Bishop was there with
two church investigators.

“That will be fine.” We went down the hall
and once we were seated around the table, he said, “It was brought to my
attention that you’ve been…allegedly…having sexual relations with a woman. I
have to say that I really hope it’s not true; but you have been seen with a
woman, the same woman, on more than one occasion, according the reports. You
can confirm or deny this for us, or we’ll have to open up a full
investigation.”

My first instinct was to lie and deny it.
God, I’m not only a bad priest, I’m a
terrible Catholic. Lies and deceit seem to come so easily to me lately. I can’t
lie to him. I need to just get this over with. I need to man up and take the
consequences.

I opened my mouth and suddenly I heard
myself telling my brother that I was looking for a sign. Maybe this was it. Maybe
remaining quiet and letting them investigate was going to be my best bet.

If they couldn’t prove anything, I could
leave the church without a scandal. Daphne wouldn't say anything and I didn't
know who thought they know what, but no one had seen us have sex, so they could
not prove it.

“I don’t have a problem with you doing an
investigation, Bishop. But now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a couple coming in
for their pre-marital counseling right now.”

“No, Father Jace. You are suspended
pending the investigation.”

I felt sick to my stomach. Maybe that was
my sign.

CHAPTER
FORTY-THREE

DAPHNE

I texted Jace for the third time that day
and he didn’t respond. I was beginning to get worried. He knew that I had to
work, and he’d said he would try and come by after he finished at the church.
It wasn’t like him to just not show up and not call. I tried calling him again;
his phone just kept going straight to voicemail.

I had a really bad feeling in my gut, but
I had to get to work. I tried convincing myself that he was just busy…that had
to be it.

I went into work and we were busy because,
as usual, we were short a server. Every time I got a break, I would check my
phone, but still nothing from Jace. I was really worried. I was even getting a
little snappy with my customers, which was not good.

Finally, when the night was over, I
couldn’t take it any longer. I had to see him and know that he was okay. I
drove over to his apartment and knocked frantically on his door. I was both
relieved and anxious when I saw him. I was relieved to see that he was okay…but
as soon as I saw his face, I knew that something was very wrong.

CHAPTER
FORTY-FOUR

JACE

I sat all afternoon, staring off into
space and trying like hell to figure out what to do. I was also trying to
figure out how they knew. The only people I had told or even let onto were my
brothers. I knew the Diocese didn’t find out from them.

My mind toyed with the idea that Daphne
set me up…but why?
I can feel how she
feels about me, can’t I? Would she get angry enough at me for not leaving the
priesthood for her that she’d do something like this? She said she’d support me
no matter what. Did she mean it?

I had pretty much already decided to leave
the Church, but I didn’t want it to happen like this. Daphne would be dragged
into it even if she wasn’t the one who ratted me out. There would be a huge
scandal and with social media, it would be spread from coast to coast in a
day’s time.

Maybe I was a fool for choosing the
investigation. Maybe, had I just admitted it, they would have covered it up.

I jumped when the knock came at my door
and broke the extreme silence in the room. I got up and looked through the
door. It was Daphne, as if I’d conjured her up with my thoughts. I pulled the
door open and, as soon as I saw her in the flesh, I lost it. “Who did you
tell?”

Her face looked genuinely confused. “Tell
what? What are you talking about?”

I looked around to see if anyone was
listening and then decided this was not a conversation for in front of the
apartment. I took a hold of her arm and guided her in the door. Once it was
closed, I said, “About us, Daphne. How does the Diocese know I had sex?”

Her mouth fell open, and she looked
shocked. “They know? What happened?”

“Never mind that right now, Daphne. I
thought you cared about me.”

“God, Jace, I do care about you. I didn’t
tell them. I wouldn’t do that. I can’t believe you think that I did.” I ran my
hand through my hair and said,

“I just don’t know what to think; but it’s
over now. What a mess.”

She didn’t say anything to that. She
looked shocked, but I think she was also angry with me for accusing her. I
guess she had a right, but I was not in the frame of mind to take it back.

She took a deep breath finally and said,
“I care so much about you, Jace. I would never do anything to compromise your
life. I told you leaving was up to you. I meant that.”

“Then if you didn’t, who did, Daphne? Who
else knew?”

Her eyes widened, and I could see the
exact moment she made the connection. “I told my friend Bethany.”

“The one you work with?”

She nodded. “She swore to me she wouldn’t
tell anyone.” Daphne was on the verge of tears. I hated that my anger was
making her cry, but I was still too upset to come outside of myself and comfort
her. “I begged her not to tell. She promised me…”

I couldn’t believe she told anyone, but at
the same time, who was I to judge? I told my brothers because I needed to tell
someone…she probably did it for the same reason. “You didn’t tell her on
purpose, did you? To get me forced out so that you and I could be together?”

Now she really looked like she wanted to
cry. I didn’t think her tears were from sadness, though. I think she was just
so angry with me for the accusations.

“How could you think that? You say you
thought I cared about you? I thought you cared about me! How could you even
consider that I would be that devious?”

I took a deep breath. She was right. It
would hurt me if she accused me of something like that. I was just overwhelmed
and frightened. I was taking it out on her. “I’m sorry; I don’t think you’re
devious at all. I had a bad day and there are going to be a lot more to come.
I’m sorry I took it out on you.”

“What happened?”

“The bishop came in with his investigators.
They said they had a report that I’d been dating and having sexual relations
with a woman. I didn’t confirm or deny it; I just said I would cooperate with
the investigation. They have suspended me in the meantime.”

“I’m sorry,” she said. I could see the
wheels turning in her head and finally, she said, “Were you still thinking
about leaving…and us being together?”

“Yes, but I wanted to leave on good terms.
I still wanted to be able to practice my Catholicism without being looked on
like a pariah. I also didn’t want you drug into the latest gossip binge.”

“How would they prove it?”

I shrugged. “If you deny it, then they
can’t.”

“Then I’ll just deny it.”

“But, they’ll be expecting it. So then,
they’ll interview parishioners and other clergy and your name will be dragged
through the mud in the process. I don’t want you to have to go through that.”

“What are your options?”

“I can take my chances and wait for them
to finish the investigation, which will probably go on for months. I can tell
the truth, and if I don’t accept retreat and counseling, then I’ll be stripped
of my vows. Or, I can bow out before any of this happens.”

“What do you mean, ‘bow out?’”

“Tell them that the priesthood isn’t for
me, anyways, and that I’d like to save them an investigation and scandal.”

“So, which do you think is your best
option?”

“I really don’t know,” I told her.