Prince of Magic (15 page)

She was alone.

Sian knew he should leave immediately. He had proven to himself that Ariana was all right, and alone, so there was no reason to stay. Of course, it was possible that in a sleeping state she was most vulnerable, and at any time during the night she might… Diella might… climb from that bed and leave in search of a willing man. Any willing man, if she had her way.

It was likely that this afternoon's exercise had weakened Diella, and if she still remained, it would be days again before she could rise to the surface.

Likely. Not certain.

Sian locked Ariana's door from the inside, and took a chair from her desk. Making not a sound, he placed that chair near the side of her bed, and sat. He could go without sleep, if necessary. He would watch over her because it was his calling, his destiny, just as this war to come was hers.

He hadn't been sitting there long when she dropped her arm, rolled over, and opened her eyes. She was surprised to find him there, but perhaps not as surprised as she should've been.

"Why are you here?" she asked, her voice filled with sleep and dreams he could not share.

"I was worried about you," he said simply.

All he could see was her face, since she had the covers pulled to her chin. Her smile seemed genuine enough. "Worried? You?"

"Until we can assure ourselves that Diella is gone, it's best if you're not left to your own devices for long periods of time."

"I suppose that's true, though I don't know what sort of damage she could do in the middle of the night."

Sian sighed. With all she knew, with all her powers, Ariana was still naive. "She could poison the emperor, throw your body out the window, and seduce a sentinel for the fun of it. She could do all three before morning, though not necessarily in that order."

"I see your point." There was teasing in her voice when she added, "Would the sentinel be handsome, do you think, or one of the older and less-fit men?"

"This isn't funny," he snapped.

"I know. So, what are you going to do? Watch me day and night?"

"Until we know she's gone, I suppose I should."

"You have to sleep sometime."

How annoying. Why couldn't she just go back to sleep? He didn't want to examine his reasons for being here, and talking to her this way, lowered voices in the dark, only made him feel closer to her. That was a potential disaster.

He certainly didn't want her to suspect where his thoughts had taken him. "I can go without sleep for a long while. You should learn to remain alert through sleepless nights as well. Once you're on the road, there might be many nights when there is no opportunity for rest."

Sian did not want to think of what might befall Ariana after she left this palace. Battles, split-second decisions, uncertainty. Death. He did not know when or how that death would come, but he did know the Land of the Dead was waiting for her. In the beginning, he had accepted that as an unfortunate circumstance, but one he could not change. But now he wondered… Was it in his hands to change that part of the prophesy? Could he alter the destiny his grandfather had foretold?

He had planned to return home as Ariana began her journey to battle, but now he wondered if he could.

She snuggled beneath the covers, but did not close her eyes and return to sleep. "Today, when I was fighting Diella, I gathered the strength of my family to me. I felt them, so close, and they gave me the courage and the power to do what had to be done."

"That's good. We will work on harnessing that power tomorrow. You might be able to—"

"Let me finish," she interrupted without anger in her voice. "They gave me strength, but now they're gone again, and I just feel empty. Empty and lonely. It's as if I am no longer complete. It's as if I was offered a glimpse of something exquisite, and then it was stripped away. I have been frightened of what is to come, but now, now that I feel so unbearably alone, I'm terrified."

He could tell her not to be afraid, but in truth she should be terrified of what was coming. Any intelligent warrior would be.

"I don't want to be alone, Sian," she continued. "I'm so very tired of being alone."

"You are not alone," he argued. "You have your family, even when you do not sense them so closely. When you leave here, you will have all the soldiers you desire at your command. You will command an army, Ariana."

"That is a man's dream, not a woman's. I could have command of all of Columbyana, and I would still be alone." She drew the covers down and sat up. Her nightdress was modest, white and plain and just barely thin enough for him to see through.

"When I was seventeen, I fell in love," she began.

It sounded like the beginning of a conversation he wanted no part of. "This is none of my—"

"None of your concern, I know," she said sharply. "Listen anyway. I can't tell this tale to anyone else."

"All right." Sian leaned back in his chair, relaxing as much as he could for a man who was confused and hard. Heaven above, he could see her womanly shape through that gown, the tempting curve of her hips and the swell of her breasts.

"You don't know what it's like to be the eldest daughter of a beautiful woman who retained her beauty long after other women of her age had lost theirs. To be compared all your life to a woman who caused men to stop in their tracks and lose their tongues and stumble over their own feet with no more than a glance or a smile. My mother is a fertility goddess, Sian, and a true beauty. I have always suffered by comparison."

"I could disagree with that statement," he said in a lowered voice.

"And I would thank you, but you have never met my mother."

"True enough."

"When I was seventeen, I fell in love," she said again. "At that age, love is like all else. Intense. All-consuming. That love quickly became the center of my life, and it was as if nothing else mattered. Pryam said he loved me, too, and I believed him. In my mind, our future was set. I would be his wife, and he would be my husband. We would love one another forever, just as my mother and father have done and will continue to do. One thing led to another, as it often does, and we…"

"You had sex with Pryam," Sian said when she stuttered.

She sighed, perhaps in relief that she did not have to say the words aloud. More proof that Diella was not present tonight. Diella was never shy. "My mother always told her daughters, when they reached a certain age, how wonderful the physical act of love could be when there was true love between a man and a woman. We were advised to wait, to choose wisely, but there was never any doubt that what awaited us would be wonderful." Again, she sighed. "What happened to me by the riverbank was not wonderful," she said. "There was pain and sweat and it was messy, and… I just wanted the whole thing to be over. It wasn't all terrible. Afterward he held me, and I was so sure that I was pregnant. After all, my mother is—"

"Yes, yes, I know," Sian interrupted. The picture she painted was much too clear to him.

"We tried again the next day, and Pryam told me it would be better this time. It didn't hurt as much, but I didn't experience any of the beauty and pleasure my mother had told me about. Again, it was fast and clumsy. While he was… occupied, I thought of the babies we would have. I didn't want so many as my parents had had, but one or two would be nice, I thought.

"The affair, if it can be called even that, lasted for two weeks. I kept expecting more, but there was no more. I did not get pregnant, which was a relief to Pryam, but was an unexpected disappointment to me. It crossed my mind that perhaps I didn't love him after all. Mama had said beauty came with true love, and there was no beauty in what Pryam and I had. Not for me."

"You ended the affair."

"Yes. He was very angry. My family's land adjoined his, and his father had promised him a nice reward if he married one of the Varden girls. Hearing that cut me to the very heart, even though I had already convinced myself that I didn't love him after all. The love I had imagined had never existed, not for me or for him. I warned my sisters to steer clear of him. I told them what he wanted from us. Land. All for land."

"How many lovers have you taken since then?" Sian asked.

"None." Ariana shuddered. If he had not been watching closely, he would've missed it entirely. "I don't want children now, not like I did when I was seventeen. I have a good life here in the palace. Well, I
had
a good life here, before you and your prophesy ruined it for me."

"Sorry."

"It's not your fault." Ariana squirmed a little, and his eyes were drawn to her not as a teacher, but as a man. "It's just that… I always thought I had time. Time to fall in love and try again. Time to find the beauty my mother promised me. Time, Sian. It's slipping away."

Again, he wondered why the firstborn Fyne child couldn't have been a man. He would not feel torn inside if that were the case. He would not be here at all if the chosen one was male. He would never have felt the need to protect a man so. It would be best if he did his duty as a teacher and maintained a respectable distance. "I could fashion a love spell and send the sentinel or minister of your choice to your room for an evening. Would that help?"

She laughed, and again he knew Diella was not present. They might on occasion share the same body, but there was soul in a real laugh. The two women were nothing alike. "No. I do not wish false love, not even for one night."

Though he could wish he was wrong, Sian knew what she wanted. "True love is not necessary for the beauty your mother promised. That's the way it came to her, but many people enjoy pleasure without love. Can you accept and embrace that?"

"I don't know." Her voice was so low, he almost couldn't hear her. For a long moment she was silent, and then she added, "I think I would like to find out."

Sian stood. He understood what Ariana needed, perhaps more completely than she did. He could leave her, collect a suitable sentinel, cast a spell, and walk away. Love was not an issue here, only physical connection. Togetherness. Physical pleasure. She did not want to be alone.

But Ariana was his in a way he had not expected. He could not bring himself to lead another man to her bed. He did not want any other man to show her all she had missed. From a distance, he directed her coverlet down to the end of the bed so that her entire nightgown-clad body was exposed. He threw a circle of wizard's light around the bed, so he could better see her.

"No magic," she whispered. The words were not a command but a request, one he was willing to comply with. The wizard's light died, and his hands fell to his side. In the near-dark he could still see Ariana pat the mattress beside her in invitation.

She was chosen. To fight, to lead, to die. He did not want to care for her more than he already did, because allowing her to fulfill the prophesy would be beyond painful. Diella had promised him he would live a long life. Long enough to watch everyone and everything he loved die.

But tonight was not about prophesies and battle. It was about a woman's need for beauty, and nothing more.

Sian joined her on the bed, after sitting on the edge of the mattress and removing his boots. Nothing else. Perhaps he intended to leave most of his clothes on during the act. Too bad, as she had rather looked forward to seeing him naked.

She reached down and cupped his erection with her hand, and began to fumble with the buttons there.

He uttered a tsking sound and grabbed her wrist, guiding her hand gently upward. "There is no need to rush, Ariana."

"But…"

He ended her protest with a kiss. A nice, deep kiss that made her feel as if she were melting. The kiss did not end quickly, but went on and on. She fell back to the mattress and he came with her, mouths fused, tongues gently exploring. The kissing stole her breath away and made her heart beat in a new and different rhythm. She had never known such a kiss was possible, and she did not want it to end.

This was much more than an attempt at casting aside her loneliness. She couldn't put a name to it, but the kissing was very, very right and good.

When Sian took his mouth from hers, she sighed and began to hitch her nightgown up. Again, he grabbed her wrist and put a stop to her efforts.

"Why are you in such a rush?" he asked.

She could barely catch her breath after that kiss. "I'm trying to help."

He lowered his head and kissed her throat. "Do not help," he rumbled against her skin. "From this moment on, you do nothing unless I instruct you. Understood?"

"Understood." She melted into the mattress and enjoyed the way his mouth felt on her throat, the way his tongue teased. Deep in her belly she felt a stirring that was new and full of promise.

Ariana wanted to realize the beauty her mother had promised, and deep inside she knew Sian was the man to show her what she had missed. She wasn't sure why. Perhaps what had happened while Diella had been in control of her body had set something into motion that could not be easily ended. Perhaps she simply felt safe with Sian. They already shared more than one secret, after all. What was one more?

Soon she dismissed all her wonderings about why, and lost herself in the physical sensations he elicited.

Sian spent a few wonderful moments kissing the skin beneath her ear. Ariana found herself winding her fingers through his hair and pulling him closer. Tighter. She did not feel the touch of his mouth only on her skin, but experienced a rush of longing and pleasure throughout her body.

Her mind worked differently, it seemed, or else did not work at all. She hadn't realized that he'd worked the buttons of her nightgown until his hand slipped inside to caress her breasts. She lurched at the unexpected sensation of his palm brushing against her nipple. That sensation shot through her, filling her. Enticing her.

It seemed that she was racing toward something unknown, but Sian was in no rush. He did not race. He was amazingly languid, as if they had all the time in the world for this. As if nothing else mattered. She enjoyed believing that to be true, even if the illusion didn't last.