Princess (19 page)

The SEAL glanced at Dutch’s leg. “Vietnam?”

“Tet offensive.” Dutch’s eyes narrowed. “January 31, 1968. Right before dawn.”

“I’ve heard some stories.”

“None of them come close, believe me.” Dutch stared across the sunny courtyard, his head ringing with the echo of mortar fire and incoming Huey’s over the city walls. He forced away the flashback. He’d had enough practice at it by now. “I get by. The leg feels just like the real thing.” He sniffed. “How long are you staying?”

“Not long enough. So how is she?” His mouth was tense, his eyes scanning the room. “Does she like it here?”

“Loves it. Took to it like a fish to water. Never seen anyone who’s better with the guests and the staff.”

“She was damned good at her old job. She always had an eye for schedules and organization. Not afraid of anything either.”

“I’ve heard some rumors about that. I hear she shot a man. Don’t suppose you’d be more specific,” Dutch said.

“No, I wouldn’t.”

Dutch stared at Hawk for a long time. “She’s upstairs, third door to the left. I told her to take a nap, but she probably won’t.”

Hawk smiled faintly. “That sounds like Jess.” He slung his helmet and a small knapsack over his shoulder. “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me yet. If you hurt her, boy, I’m going to cut out your heart and eat it for lunch,” the limping hero of Hue City said calmly.

Jess was staring out at the water when she heard Monster bark behind her. As usual, the big dog had insisted on accompanying her down to the beach, determined to protect her against sand crabs and kites and anything else that got too close. Jess smiled as she heard Monster scuttling over the sand. Probably chasing another crab. The dog was decimating an entire species single-handedly. “Leave the poor creature alone, Monster. Otherwise, I’ll have to tell Dutch to—”

She turned—and all the words dried up in her throat.

The sweater she’d tied around her shoulders fell. “Hawk.”

The word was a whisper, a caress, then a breath of overt panic.

“I’ve only got forty-eight hours,” he said hoarsely. “I jumped a transport at Gatwick, grabbed another one in Virginia, changed in Houston, and—”

His knapsack fell. He caught her hard against his chest, his eyes closing as he was battered by unbearable emotions.

She was as beautiful as he remembered and more, but God knows, he wasn’t good at emotions. He still wasn’t used to thinking in terms of two instead of one. As a soldier, his focus was on burying his emotions, not facing them dead on.

He was trying his hardest, damn it. One of these years, he might even succeed. Meanwhile, he felt like a fish with legs.

“I forgot this.” He pulled her closer. “How good you always smell.” He buried his hands in her hair, dragging in the rich earthy scents. “Lilacs, cedar and sea salt.”

“It’s a shampoo I make for Dutch’s guests.” Her head was turned against his chest, and her voice shook. “He wanted something different for their rooms, something they could take away with them to remember the hotel.”

“Any man would remember that smell,” Hawk said roughly. “Dutch’s one tough coot.”

“Tough or not, he’s been nice to me.”

“Yeah, well, the old fool loves you.”

Jess shook her head. “He’s just worried about . . . things.”

Hawk lifted her face with his hand. “What kind of things?”

Jess took a deep breath and tried to pull away, but Hawk tightened his grip, needing to feel her warmth and strength. Her smile was the cure for too many cold nights and too many bleak dreams. She promised laughter and belonging, things that Hawk had given up hope of ever finding.

“I would have come sooner. Hell, I would have stayed if I could. But there were threads to tie up, Jess. I had my orders.”

“Don’t apologize. Your work wasn’t done.” She studied his face. “You’re tired.”

“I hit the runway in San Francisco, then rode straight up. You look amazing. You’re almost glowing.”

“Must be the sea air.” Jess touched his face. “I hope you got all of them, including Luellen’s husband.”

“Nabbed him that same day. He hadn’t gotten more than five miles away when we found him. He won’t be bothering Luellen and Ruthie again for a long time.”

“And that man in the sheriff’s uniform?”

“He won’t be scaring anyone ever again.”

“What about those men of his? Will they be freed?”

Hawk smiled grimly, thinking of the list of charges that Emilio Chavez’s men faced. “Not a chance.” The female FBI agent hurt in Princess’s capture had finally recovered consciousness, but two other agents had died. “Not for about three hundred years. And that’s if they’re lucky.”

“That’s a relief.” Jess looked down at the sweater clutched between them, covering her waist. “Hawk, I need to—”

His hands slid up her back as he molded her against his body. “Can we go somewhere, Jess? I can’t stop remembering your taste on my mouth, the little sounds you make when you come, and I want to make you come all night.” His hand opened, nudging her nipple beneath her bra. His jaw hardened as he opened her blouse and savored the beauty of her naked skin.

His fingers weren’t quite steady, but he didn’t care. He had so many things to ask.

So many belated promises to keep.

“Hawk.” Her breath was ragged. “Someone will see us.”

“We’re alone, honey. Just that damned dog, and I doubt he’ll mind a little discreet nudity.” Hawk freed her breast and ran his fingertips across the dark red crest that tightened instantly. “You’re different. Hell, I can’t remember that much, but I could swear you are.”

Jess made a lost sound as he pulled aside her sweater, then lifted it while his lips closed around her breast.

She sucked in a breath. He tasted her slowly until her fingers closed, digging at his hair. He tugged her blouse open, looking at her.

The need hit him so hard he almost forgot where they were. Finally, he pulled away with a curse, buttoning her blouse quickly. “Come with me, Jess. I rented a room right up the beach.” Desire had burned all the soft, gentle words out of his throat, threatening to overwhelm him. “Say no and I’ll leave. If you don’t want this, I’ll be back on a plane to Europe tonight and I’ll never bother you again.”

Her fingers smoothed his hard jaw, brushed the new scar above his right eye. “You’d do that?”

“If you’re not interested, I’d understand. We had two hours in a dark elevator, a drive in a Jeep.” His voice hardened. “Time in a firefight, too. That hardly qualifies as normal courtship,” he added grimly.

“You want to court me? To get to know me?” Something came and went in her eyes, but damned if Hawk could figure what.

He shrugged, all his rehearsed speeches swept away. He wasn’t used to facing his emotions, much less talking about them.

“You sent those people, didn’t you? The boy with the roses. The woman with the hammock. The man who painted my door.”

“Bright blue.” Hawk smiled crookedly. “I figured you’d like that. I read somewhere that women like gifts.”

“Women do,” Jess said. “I do.”

“I want to do everything right, Jess. I want to start where we should have started. I don’t know if I can wait, but I’ll try.” His body was taut, his mind restless with the fantasies that had plagued him for long months. “I can’t forget the way you felt against me that day in the elevator and how you looked when I left.” His voice tightened. “You told me you could feel me. Hell—dripping down your leg. From the amazing sex we’d just had.”

“It was amazing, wasn’t it?” Her voice was surprisingly grave. “Two hours. Two strangers. Funny how fast things can change.”

“We aren’t strangers now, Jess, and we’ve got a lot more than two hours.” He traced her breasts, watching her eyes darken. “Let me take you back to my hotel.” He had a sudden moment of uncertainty that made him stop, take a deep breath. “Unless—”

Her smile was like sunrise on water, skipping from wave to wave, lighting the small shadowed places where he’d pushed down his fear. “No ‘unlesses’.” She reached into the back pocket of his jeans, dug a little, then pulled out the plastic key card he’d shoved there. “Room 179. Let’s make it someplace we’ll always remember.”

The relief rocked him back so hard that for a moment he couldn’t speak. His head tilted, resting against her forehead, and a long shudder ran through him. They’d work out their lives, find a way to be together. And when she was completely sure of him, when he’d gotten her stubborn sister to stop hating him, Hawk would take her to a beautiful little hideaway up the coast, make love to her for about fifty hours, then pull out the small, emerald-cut diamond he’d been carrying around for weeks now.

And if she turned him down, he’d probably shoot himself.

Her hair drifted over her shoulders as she stood in the wind, her thick, wool sweater caught between them. “So what are we going to do about Monster while we’re having wet, delirious sex?” Her eyes searched his face. “There may be barking involved.”

“Only by me,” Hawk said roughly. And he wasn’t sure that he was kidding. Even the casual brush of her hand on his zipper had him roaring inside.

Jess’s fingers touched him again. Her eyes went dark when she felt his taut jeans. Suddenly she rose on her toes, her hands circling his neck. “Don’t worry, Navy. I always—” She stopped, her breath catching. “No.”

Hawk looked down, frowning. “What is it, Jess? Did you hurt your ankle?”

She was staring at her sweater, now caught between their bodies. “Not now.” Her face was pale. “Please, not now. . . .”

“Honey, what
is
it? Tell me what’s wrong.”

Hawk saw something darken her white skirt, saw her sweater fall to the sand, a bright blue pool suddenly spotted with red.

He didn’t understand.

She gave a little sob of pain. “I’m so sorry, Hawk. I was going to do this right. I tried to tell you so many times.” She bent over, biting back a moan. “There was a mixup with my pills. My stupid mistake with the storm and the elevator. But now it’s too late to explain because you’re here and I’m afraid—so afraid that I’m losing our baby.”

chapter
27

S
teel nails clawed at her stomach.

Jess took deep breaths as the pain tightened and grew sharper. She’d known what could happen, known exactly what symptoms to watch for.

Contractions. Lower back pain. Spotting.

Now she had all three. She’d heard the statistics, and she’d assured Summer she was prepared for whatever happened. In the end she’d managed to fool everyone but herself.

She wasn’t prepared, wasn’t even close.

She saw Hawk rub his eyes, saw him fight to take in the shock of her news, but before she could explain, pain gripped her and she bent double, hands pressed to her stomach. As she closed her eyes, she was struck by the wild thought that if she pressed hard enough and long enough, she could fight fate and hold the precious baby inside.

The sudden wetness between her legs told her she was wrong.

“Hawk,” she said hoarsely. “I’m bleeding.”

His fingers touched the dark stain on her dress. With a curse, he pulled her up into his arms and began to run. “Hold on, honey. Just stay with me.”

There were people everywhere, phones ringing, and equipment carts rattling by. Elevators came and went while more people swam past.

Hawk registered it all dimly, like part of somebody else’s dream. All he could see was the closed doors to the emergency room, where Jess was lying on a white bed, hooked up to tubes, fighting for herself and her baby.

Their baby.

He closed his eyes, felt a moment’s fury. His baby. Damn it, she should have told him as soon as she knew. If he’d known, he’d have found a way to get back, even if briefly.

If only he’d known. . . .

He drew a hoarse breath, closed his eyes. There was no one to hate, no one to curse. He’d never had more than a few minutes on the phone with her, and looking back he remembered how many times her voice had caught, then trailed away. Every time she did, he’d changed the subject, afraid to act too serious. Afraid she’d misunderstand.

He’d screwed up, not Jess.

He felt a burning behind his eyes as people jostled him, chattering about baseball, pizza or stocks. She’d been in the room for almost an hour, and no one had come to tell him anything. He knew that when the news was bad they delayed it as long as possible.

He wouldn’t let that matter. They would try again, he swore. They’d make a dozen healthy, laughing babies.

But Hawk couldn’t get rid of the vision of Jess’s body, still and pale on a hospital gurney. What if the bleeding wouldn’t stop?

“Hawk?”

He closed his hands to fists, slammed them against the wall, unaware that he had moved, even when the pain splintered up his arms. Why hadn’t he come
sooner
?

“Hawk.”

When he opened his eyes, Jess’s sister was staring at him, her hair tangled as if she’d been running. “Jess—where is she?”

“In that room down the hall. She’s been there for about an hour. The baby—something happened. There was blood.” He cleared his throat, ignored the burning at his chest. “I asked the nurse for an update ten minutes ago, but I haven’t heard anything yet. If I lose her, by God, I’ll—”

“Hawk, listen.” Strong fingers closed around his fists. “I just spoke to Jess’s doctor.”

She kept talking, but he didn’t hear. All he saw was her mouth moving slowly and the worry in her eyes.

He frowned, trying to hear the words. “Can I see her?”

“Not yet. They’re watching her for the next twenty-four hours. They’re concerned about the luteal problem.”

Hawk shook his head. “Wait—a what problem?”

“It’s a hormone imbalance. Jess knew she might lose the baby, in spite of the medication she was taking.”

He realized there were other people scattered around the waiting area now. Summer’s husband, Gabe, a SEAL Hawk had met twice in training. Dutch was there too, flanked by five or six crusty types who had Navy written all over them.

They were all watching him silently. Hawk figured they had every reason to hate him. “She was sick?” he said raggedly. “I should have come back sooner.”

No one said anything. They didn’t meet his eyes.

“She didn’t tell me,” he whispered. “Didn’t trust me.” He leaned against the wall, feeling the cold tile at his back. “Damn it, I want to
see
her.”

Summer reached out awkwardly. “Don’t do this, Hawk. It isn’t your fault. There had been some sudden changes in her bloodwork a week ago. Her doctors didn’t tell her because they weren’t sure what it meant.”

“She’s in danger then?”

Summer closed her eyes and nodded. “I won’t lie. It happened so fast and she’s still losing blood. They can’t figure out why.” Summer’s voice broke. “They’re getting her ready for surgery. We can’t see her now.”

Hawk turned away, walked down the hall and out the doors to a little courtyard, embarrassed by the tears that cut past his iron control. He put one arm against the wall as his knees threatened to give way.

“Hawk.”

He was still in the courtyard, a cup of coffee forgotten beside him. The stone bench was cold, but he barely noticed.

“Hawk, please look at me.”

Bad news.

He couldn’t bear it. All his steel was gone. His world had shrunk to a single question and his sanity danced on the outcome. “Go away,” he muttered.

If he didn’t hear, it wouldn’t be real. He could sit here in the twilight and feel the wind on his face and keep on pretending.

Jess’s sister sat down beside him. She put her hand gently on his shoulder. “Hey.”

“Don’t say it.” His hands shook as he groped for the coffee cup. “Go away.”

“It’s done, Hawk. She’s stable.” Summer leaned against his shoulder, her careful control breaking as she gripped the front of his leather jacket. “Damn it, listen to me. Jess wants you.”

“She . . . wants me?” He dropped the coffee and swung around, studying Summer’s face.

She was crying. Smiling. “Inside, pronto, pal. Never argue with a Mulcahey.”

She was stable.

Hawl’s hands locked, and he shaped an awkward prayer of thanks in silent words that were far too rusty.

When he stumbled to his feet, a nurse was walking toward him, her eyes gentle with understanding. “Lieutenant Mackenzie? My patient is asking—no, demanding to see you. You have three minutes, no more. We’ve given her something to sleep, so she may nod off.”

Hawk lunged around her and sprinted down the hall.

Her face was pale, her hair damp. She looked up, whispering his name when he pushed open the door.

Hawk leaned down and locked their hands, worried at how cold her skin felt. “Hey there, beautiful.”

She began to cry, slow, silent tears that shook her body while Hawk pulled her against his chest and ran his hands helplessly over her hair. “I wish I could change this, Jess.”

Her fingers shook against his. “We never talked about what happened. When I—I messed up my pills back in Washington. I figured I was safe. . . .”

“It’s not important now, Jess.”

“It
is
important. The mistake was the best thing that ever happened to me, Hawk. Now I keep trying to find someone to blame for having a body that just isn’t right.”

He cupped her neck gently, brushing a tear from her cool cheek. “There’s no one to blame. I’ve accepted that. We’ll have another baby, honey. Ten or fifteen maybe. We’ll start our own baseball team.”

Jess smiled tentatively at him. “You want ten or fifteen?”

“For starters.”

She placed his hand gently on her stomach. Her smile grew. “Then why wait?”

Hawk stared at her, then down at the blanket that covered her. “What do you mean?”

“Everything is good.” She gave a shaky laugh. “Don’t ask me. The blood tests were bad, then they were good. That’s all the surgeon told me. The bleeding started, then it stopped when they were prepping me for surgery. That’s all anyone seems to know.”

Hawk didn’t move. “You mean we’ve got ourselves a baby?” He couldn’t hide the gentle wonder.

“Looks that way.” She reached up and traced his cheek. “I hope she looks just like her father.”

“She?” Hawk swallowed, beyond overwhelmed. “It’s—definite?”

“The doctor told me I’ll need to eat right and continue my hormone therapy—but yes. It’s definite.”

Hawk fumbled in his pocket. “You’re going to have to marry me now. I’ve had this ring for weeks, waiting for the right moment, but since there
never
seems to be a right moment, I want to put it on your finger now.” He cleared his throat and held out a small box, locked in his hand. “Marry me, Jess.”

She drew in a breath as she opened the box. A single perfect diamond glinted against black velvet. “It’s beautiful.”

“No, but you are.” The door opened behind him, but Hawk didn’t look away from Jess’s face. There was new color to her cheeks, and he clutched at his courage to finish what he’d been rehearsing for weeks. “I’ve made plans, pulled in some favors. After next month I won’t be traveling so much, and I have some leave coming.” He laid the ring on her palm and closed her hand around it. “I can’t promise I won’t make mistakes. I can’t say I’ll be any good at this relationship stuff. But I’m sure as hell going to try.”

She made a soft little sound, and Hawk realized it was his name. She caught his hand and his ring, bringing them both to her lips. “Yes.”

“You mean—”

“Yes, with my whole heart. Why don’t you put this ring on my finger, Lieutenant?” She held up her hand, smiling through tears. “Then I’m going to kiss you.”

“Sounds like a damned good battle plan to me, honey.”

The door closed behind him.

“What’s going on in there?” Dutch stood protectively outside Jess’s door, staring at Summer.

“He just asked her to marry him.”

“What’d she say?”

“Yes. The kissing was about to start, so I left.”

“About damned time they finally did something that made sense.” The big man pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his forehead. “I’m too old for this shit. Begging your pardon, Summer.”

“Not a problem.” She managed a thin smile. “I think I am, too.”

“What did she say when he asked her?”

“I didn’t hear the details, but she was kissing his ring and his hand, so I figure that meant an unconditional
yes
.” Summer sighed. “I tried to keep her safe from so many things over the years. Ever since our parents died, I thought she was the soft one. But I was wrong, Dutch.” Summer shook her head. “It takes guts to be an optimist, guts to believe that people are generally good. More guts than I ever had, at least.”

She looked up as Gabe slid an arm around her waist. “What would you say to getting a brother-in-law?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“About frigging time.” Dutch strode off with a wide grin, eager to bring his Navy pals up to speed. Right after that, they all adjourned to the courtyard for cigars and handshakes.

There were going to be plenty of babies from those two, the way Dutch saw it, and the old crew of quiet, decorated heroes from Vietnam decided to get in some practice with their Havanas right now.

Hawk stayed with Jess for the three days she was in the hospital, leaving only to shower and wolf down bad coffee and food that he didn’t taste. He bullied her to eat every morning and held her hand while she fell asleep each night.

On the morning of the third day, Summer cornered him in the hall when he was buying more awful coffee from a machine that required exact change.

“You look pitiful, Mackenzie.” Summer shook her head and straightened his collar. “On the other hand, three days of stubble kinda suits you. My sister is clearly going to have her hands full.”

Hawk rubbed his neck uncertainly. “That’s okay with you?”

“Yeah.” Summer blew out a breath. “I was too busy being a jerk to give you any sort of chance. I guess I always had a problem where Jess was concerned. Only a few minutes difference in our age, but she’s still my little sister. I’ve been so busy babying her for so long that I couldn’t see it was the last thing she needed.”

“She’s tough,” Hawk agreed slowly. “If you could have seen her that day in the shed, you’d know how tough. She was covered with blood, and a gun was locked in her hand. No one would have gotten past her.”

“I saw her afterward,” Summer reminded him. Even now the memories made her shiver. “I never thought she paid enough attention when I gave her those shooting lessons. I’m glad I was wrong.”

“So am I.” Hawk stared down at the dirt-colored coffee.

Summer touched his arm. “What’s wrong?”

He swirled the muddy drink around in his cup, frowning. “I keep wondering if this was even partly my fault. Maybe something I did or the shock of my coming here so suddenly. It’s eating at me, Summer. Even the hint of a possibility.”

“That’s crazy.” Summer took the coffee from his hands and tossed it in the nearby trash can. “There was nothing that any of us could have done to stop this. Jess knew what might happen, and she had a lucky break. End of story. We don’t get to play God, Hawk, no matter how much better it would feel.”

“I should have come back sooner.” He rolled his shoulders. “I should have cornered Jess and worked all the details out of her.”

For the first time in three days Summer broke into real laughter. “I can see you don’t know Jess as well as you think. She’s like a pit bull when she thinks something’s important.” She held out three quarters to him. “Live dangerously, Mackenzie, but buy yourself some tea. That coffee could kill you faster than one of those secret ops you and Izzy run.”

He chose his tea and shrugged. “If I’m going to be a father, I’d better start doing a lot of things differently. I’m going to make her happy, Summer. I love her the way I love breathing, and it feels just that natural. Funny, I always thought that sappy stuff happened to other people.”

Summer linked her arm through his. “Only the lucky ones like us. She’s crazy about you, by the way. Has been ever since she nearly ran you over with her Jeep.”

“She told you about that?”

“Every detail. She said you look pretty hot on that bike of yours, too, especially in black leather.”