Princess: Nuance Of Love Book 1 (4 page)

Of course Madam Soraya didn’t oppose to
this, because she wasn’t at home or had been home for the last two
weeks, she was in South Italy visiting friends, to forget about her
stress and heartache caused by her daughter moving out to college.
The only person that was by her side, supporting her and showing
real sign of sadness and heartbreak of her departure was
Noorhayati, her nanny, her second Mother.

She couldn’t thank God enough that she
was blessed with sensibility to listen to Noorhayati’s advice that
day, and she allowed the driver to drive her up to the dorm.
Otherwise, she couldn’t imagine dragging her bag around the complex
to get to her room.

She loved her room, it was bright with
a lot of natural light coming from the big window. She also loved
how they arranged it so her desk was in front of the window, giving
it a nice view.

She quickly put down her bag and began
to unpack, that’s when she noticed all the clothes that Wendy
bought for her were all men’s clothes decorated with flower print.
She cringed a bit but decided to accept it. If her new life is to
be a men’s clothes wearer, so be it. Everything is going to get
better and better from now on.

When she had finished it was time for
dinner. She headed out for the dining hall, apparently the girl in
the room across hers had the same idea. They smiled to each other
and introduce themselves.

“Hi, how do you do? My name is
Laila.”

“Hi Laila, I’m Paramita, this is my
first day here, I’m a bit nervous.”

“Me too!” The other girl exclaimed. She
was about the same height as Paramita, she had long black here and
honey colored skin. Paramita could tell right away from her
physical appearance and her accent, Paramita could tell that she
was from South Asia. “I’m come from Singapore, what about you?”
Laila asked.

Paramita was a bit stumped, apparently
it’s not a good idea to judge people by their ethnicity here, and
the world is becoming a smaller place. “Oh, I lived in London my
whole life. But hey, coming from Singapore, do you speak
Melayu?”

“Oh, that’s why your English sounds
great. I do speak Melayu, not fluently, but I do understand
conversations in Melayu, but most of my family and circle of friend
speak Tamil and English” Laila said kindly. “I’m Studying
Economics, what are you studying?”

“Me? Architecture…….”

* * *

On her first day of class was when she
met Hafiz, he was also studying architecture.

They were sitting next to each other
that day, suddenly she felt him tapping her shoulder. “Hey, hi, how
are you, can you please help me?” He said to her with
confidence.

“Sure, what do you need?” She
replied

“I can’t find my pen anywhere. Do you
have one to share with me?” He said in half-broken
English.

She took out a spare from her bag and
handed it over to him, “Here, you can keep it.”

He thanked her with a charming smile.
”My name is Hafiz, I am from Jothar, and you?”

“My name is Paramita, but you can call
me Mita for short. I am from London, but my parents are from
Jothar.”

“Oh really? That’s interesting so tell
me…”

Suddenly they were interrupted by the
lecturer displeased cough, “If you have something important to say,
by all means, please come forward and share it with us…”

Hafiz and Paramita looked at each other
and smiled.

They had an affinity from day one. To
her he represented her origins, where at that time it was foreign
and estranged. She spoke the language, because her Mother always
spoke Melayu at home with her, and most of the household staff were
from Jothar. But she never actually been there.

She was eighteen at the time, and she
never had any boyfriends or crushes. The sight of Hafiz always made
her blush, and she would always try to find an excuse to be near
him, or even to see him from afar.

To her he was the most handsome guy in
campus. He had wavy black hair and his skin was a light tanned
color. His dark eyes were expressive and they laughed when he
laughed. She liked the sound of his voice, and his accent when he
spoke English. To the her at that time, he was perfect.

He too seemed to like being around her,
but not the same way she did. He always treated her as one of the
guys, cool to hang out with, someone who speaks his native
language, but who knows their way around town.

But she didn’t care, just to speak to
him and be near him, was enough to fill her days with
hope.

They hung out in a group of five.
Hafiz, Laila, Rahmat who was also from Jothar who was studying
economics apparently he and Hafiz were longtime friends, then there
was Mike who was Indonesian and was also studying architecture, and
of course herself. Naturally they had other friends too, from
different faculties and different countries. But the 5 of them were
close due to language and interests.

All of them were kids from well-off
families, she knew. But before she started college she was
determined to not let anybody know about her family background, so
she would play the pauper of the group. She would complain about
being broke all the time, and let her friends pay for her meals
when they were going out to town.

Hafiz was the one who almost always
picked up her tab. apparently he came from a very rich and powerful
family in Jothar, the son of a minister and descendant of a noble
family. And buying her food and drink almost all the time, made him
think that he was entitled to treat her like a servant, running for
his lunch, for drinks or for coffee. She didn’t mind though. For
the sake of love, she told herself.

After a year and with a busy academic
life they gradually saw less of each other, but because Hafiz, Mike
and she were in the same course and taking the same classes they
would study together most of the time. Over time Hafiz became more
and more shameless, and started making her do his homework, or
would skip group work and rely on her to do his part. He would even
skip class and make her take notes for him. The reason? Women of
course. Being rich, handsome and coming from a noble family
certainly had benefits for Hafiz. He would change girlfriends every
three months or less.

Paramita suffered in silence every time
she saw him with someone else, but she was always optimistic that
one day he would come to his senses and see her as a
woman.

She consoled herself by occupying her
mind with other activities and actively participating with
student’s social groups, organizing events and planning trips with
the international student’s organization.

One day out of the blue, when she was
sitting at the dining hall with Laila and Hafiz, they broke the
news to her.

“Mita.” Said Laila in a happy tone. ”I
want you to be first to know.”

“What is it?” Paramita asked taken in
by the mood.

“Hafiz and I are officially dating each
other.”

Paramita’s face suddenly dropped, but
she quickly controlled her feelings and put on a big smile, “Oh my,
congratulations, I’m so happy for the both of you. When did it
start?”

“Two weeks ago,” said Hafiz, he held
Laila’s hand and kissed it gently. “Hey, errand girl, why don’t you
do me a favor and get me and my darling some coke, as always you
can get one for yourself.”

Paramita was tempted to yell at him and
tell him to go stuff himself. But she took a deep breath smiled and
went for the cokes. She on purposely only bought two, then she
excused herself saying she had a headache.

In her room she wanted to cry, but the
tears wouldn’t flow. Instead, she sat in the dark thinking. She
promised to herself that she was never going to let him use her
again starting tomorrow. Never again will she let Hafiz pay for her
stuff and let him boss her around.

She kept avoiding him for the next few
weeks, every time she was about to cross his path, she made sure
that she took a different route. She still hung out with Laila,
even though she felt her heart cracking like glass every time Laila
would talk about Hafiz.

The most difficult part for her was the
group study, and since she kept avoiding Hafiz, he couldn’t copy
her tasks or ask her to cover for him. That meant he had to help
the group studies, and that meant she had to be in close proximity
of him. She found it hard to stop herself from snapping at him, and
most of the time she lost control.

Paramita realized that she was being
mean every time she counted the days, weeks and months that Hafiz
and Laila dated each other hoping that he would grow tired of her
friend and move to his next love interest. But the two of them
seemed to be stuck together by super glue.

* * *

Needing a break from it all, she went
home to her mother’s house during semester break. She hasn’t
returned home for about two years, during that time she preferred
to spend her breaks with others students who didn’t have the luxury
to travel home, and serve as a tour guide to them.

To her surprise Madam Soraya was kind
and accommodating to her. Absence does Nurture love, thought
Paramita. Her Mother was still cold and distant, but at least she’s
not nagging her like she used to. This gave Paramita a chance to
rest emotionally. It didn’t matter, she was only happy to see her
Mak Noor whom she missed during her days in college.

One morning after breakfast, Mak Noor
suddenly held her tightly and cried, “I miss you so much. I pray
every day and night that God will protect you and let you be
happy.”

“Mak,” Paramita replied while putting
her head in Mak Noor’s embrace. “I miss you too. A lot has
happened, but God has shown His greatness and has always been by my
side. But I’m sad, Mak.”

“Why are you sad, my beautiful child?
Tell me what happened!”

“It’s about the boy I wrote to you
about, the one from Jothar, he never cared about me or pay
attention to me. I’m suffering from unrequited love.”

Noorhayati let out a sweet laugh, she
caressed Paramita’s head, “If a man cannot see the beauty and
virtue of a special young woman like you, he’s blind and stupid,
trust me he’s not worth your tears.”

These words and reaction actually made
Paramita a bit better. Suddenly there was a loud Abang, they turned
around to see Madam Soraya standing at the doorway, she stumbled
into the room holding a glass of bourbon in her right hand.
“Noorhayati, get out! I want to talk to my daughter! What’s this
Mita? What man?”

Noorhayati left the room with a sad
look as Madam Soraya stomped over to her daughter and grabbed
Paramita’s arm. “Are you crazy? I sent you to college to study, not
to find men! I’ll hit you if you dared defile yourself.”

“Mama!” Paramita shouted trying not to
cry, “How can you say that? I’m a proper woman, I won’t do those
things! But I have feelings too, I can fall in love….”

“Love? Nonsense!” Madam Soraya said
while squeezing and shaking her daughter’s arm.

Paramita grinned in pain. “Mama, you’re
hurting me.” She pleaded.

Madam Soraya let go of her, and sat in
the sofa next to her daughter, she softened her voice, “Listen, I
have recently been talking to your father The Sultan, we have
decided to arrange your marriage with a son of a prominent family
as soon as you finish college next year, so you should forget about
having boyfriends!”

“Get married after I finish college?
But I want to work!”

“Why would you need to work? Your
father has decided to formally acknowledge you as his daughter, he
will bring you back to Jothar to live in the palace as soon as you
graduate, and there you will get ready for your
wedding.”

“I refuse!” Paramita said.

Suddenly Madame Soraya began to cry,
“What kind of a daughter are you? You horrible child. I gave birth
to you, putting in danger my life, and raised you all these years,
I even gave up my career and future for you. And this is how you
repay me? God will punish you! Your life will be miserable, you’ll
never be happy. Remember, God will punish children who don’t obey
their Mothers.”

Paramita felt bad, “Mama…..Don’t say
that. But please understand, I have my dreams, I want to become an
architect, I want to design buildings and be someone respected by
society.”

“Respected by society? Do you think
being a Princess of Jothar is not respectable?”

“Of course, but what I mean is to be
respected for my own merits, and not because of whose daughter I
am. Besides, even if I do be officially acknowledged by my father,
people will still talk behind my back about your relationship with
him.”

“Are you calling me a tramp?” Madam
Soraya slurred. “Enough! You’ll do what I say, or you will be
responsible if anything bad happens to me. Do you understand? Your
father said that he will take away my shares and financial support
if you don’t do what he says. What I earn from my business is not
enough to support our lifestyle. Do you really want to see your
mother on the streets?”

“Mama, I didn’t think that my father
was capable of doing that. What do you mean he can take away your
shares? Why haven’t I heard about this before?”