Princess: Nuance Of Love Book 1 (3 page)

Raden Nabilla put on a big smile and
greeted the young woman, “Your Highness, how do you do, I am very
happy to finally meet you in person, I have heard a lot about
you.”

“Raden, please do not use
formalities.”

“Of course, of course, please let me
introduce my family, this is my husband Raden Hamza, the eldest son
Raden Burhanuddin Ali, and of course you know my son Raden Hafiz
Adid.”

Paramita saluted them. ”It’s nice to
meet you Raden Hamza, Raden Burhanuddin, how do you do? Raden
Hafiz, it’s been a while.”

Ali observed the princess discretely,
she truly is in no way the ugly girl described by the tabloids. In
fact, she could be considered a beauty, she was tall although not
so slim, her body tended to be on the curvy side, with the
silhouette of an hourglass figure hidden behind her loose clothes,
her big eyes adorned with natural long lashes, she had a pretty
nose, and full lips. Her skin was fair, and her black hair tied
into a bun hidden under the scarf.

They entered the living room where
drinks and snacks were served. The elders exchanged pleasantries
and made small talk about family and mutual friends.

“How is the health of His Majesty
Sultan, Your Highness?” asked Raden Hamza making small
talk.

“His Majesty the Sultan is very well,
Allah be thanked. He has been feeling tired lately, but between Her
Majesty the Queen and myself, we make sure that he takes enough
rest and eats well.” She replied cordially.

Raden Nabilla smiled understandingly,
although deep in her heart she could never understand how two women
can share a husband, if she at times feels jealous over her
husband’s ex-wife, who he hasn’t seen for more than twenty years.
And every time Ali would come back from visiting his mother, she
can’t help feeling a little hurt when her husband asked him about
how she was doing. She turned to Paramita and smiled,” Oh look at
us old people talking on and on and boring these youngsters. Hafiz,
why don’t you show Her Highness your brother’s bonsai garden, I’m
sure that will be more entertaining for her than listening to our
nonsense. Ali will go with you two there so he can explain the
different varieties of plants we have there.”

“Yes, go ahead.” Said Puteri Siti
Hamidah.

“Diner will not be ready until an hour
from now, so you can take your time.” The hostess added
meaningfully.

Paramita smiled and stood up, she
followed Ali and Hafiz’s lead towards the back garden. Passing
through the mansion, she couldn’t help but praise the Raden for her
exquisite taste in interior décor. It was obviously luxurious but
without giving a feeling of arrogance and coldness. There was a
nice and warm ambient to the mansion that made it feel like a real
home, but a very big one at that. There was something here that
gave her a comfortable feeling, she couldn’t quite understand it,
much less explain what it was, but it made her feel good in the
inside.

She looked at Hafiz’s back as he walked
in front of her, he hasn’t changed. Still handsome, stylish and
elegant. He always moved with the confidence of an aristocrat. Soon
her attention fell to his older brother Burhanuddin Ali. She had
investigated a bit into their background before she came here, she
found that they were from different Mothers and that the eldest son
Ali was a mixed Arab Melayu. Now looking at him, she could see it
in his physical appearance. She noticed he had hazel colored eyes
and very “tall nose”, his hair was rather dark brown instead of
black, with white skin, these were not really traits of the Melayu
people.

They arrived at the garden, Paramita
could see that it was very well laid out. It was tediously
organized according to species and color. She also saw many fern
species and orchids hanging from tall palm trees. Just like the
interior of the mansion, its garden was certainly designed with
high taste.

Ali lead them towards the far end of
the garden, there she saw a collection of old bonsai trees,
organized tastefully on small artificial mounds. There were various
species of trees, tamarind, Benjamin tree, avocado, pine, and many
other. Paramita couldn’t help but gasp with awe. She looked to Ali,
“And did you plant these?” she asked.

“Most of them, not all. Some of them
are gifts.” He said with pride. ”This is my secret paradise, this
is my favorite place to be when I’m not at work.”

“It’s amazing.” Paramita responded. “I
imagine it takes a lot of dedication, patience and love to be able
to have such an extensive collection like this.”

“Yes it does.” Ali smiled.

Suddenly Hafiz coughed,” You know while
you guys talk about little trees, let me get something to
drink.”

“As you wish.” Replied Paramita with
fake kindness. As soon as Hafiz walked away she turned serious and
said to Ali. ”I believe I wasn’t invited here to look at bonsais or
even to eat, so please be straight forward, what is it that you and
your family want from me?”

Ali smiled, “She definitely was
educated as a westerner.” He thought to himself.

“Why are you standing there and
smiling?” She asked sharply.

“I’m sure you know that both our
families have agreed that you and Hafiz are engaged to be married.”
Replied Ali.

“Correction.” Paramita slightly lifted
her brow in surprise but cut him. ”I am to be engaged to one of the
sons of this family. But by what you told me, it is Hafiz who is
the sacrifice, to become my husband.”

“Sacrificed?” Ali raised his
eyebrows

“Obviously, I’m sure he is less than
willing! Has he told you that he and I are not in good terms with
each other? Well, no. Actually that’s not the right way to say, let
me correct myself. He is not in good terms with me.” She said
emphasizing.

“He did mention it, yes. But it’s no
sacrifice, it’s an honor for him, and for us as his
family.”

Paramita was silent, she tried hard to
control her frustrations.

This made Ali more curious. “She’s
actually very cute.” He thought to himself. Then asked, “If you
don’t mind telling me what happened between the two of
you?”

“I’m sorry.” She said. ”I know you care
about your brother and want to help him, but I can’t tell you.
Well, if Hafiz didn’t say anything, it’s perhaps because he’s still
not over it, and is still embarrassed about it. So who am I to
gossip?”

“So you’re not going to tell me
anything?”

“No. I don’t really know you, so why
should I share someone else’s shame with you?”

“Good point.”

“But I’ll tell you what. In good
spirit, I will apologize to Hafiz about the prank so he will stop
being angry at me. But the subject of marriage is another thing.
From the time I spent with him during our college years, I can see
that he isn’t a good husband material for me, we are too different,
and there are things about him that I can’t accept.”

Ali wasn’t all that surprised at her
directness, but he still asked. ”May I ask you why you think he
won’t be a good husband?”

“Well, first, he is a well-known
playboy.”

“That’s the national tabloids looking
for cheap scandal.”

“No. It’s not. I know many girls that
cried over him, plus going back to our previous conversation, if he
wasn’t such a playboy I wouldn’t have done what I did to him.” She
said, he could see a shadow of a smile on her lips.

“Is that so? Aren’t you a little
exaggerating? It’s common for men to have a girlfriend or two, or
even more before marriage. I know you might think that it’s unfair,
and you are within all your rights, but it’s the way our society
sees it.”

Paramita sighed, “I know, and I’m not
trying to change our culture or anything. I’m just speaking my
mind. I’m very frustrated and angry about this arrangement. But of
course I can’t do anything about it, all I can do is accept. No
matter what, I do have to show piety to my parents and
country.”

Ali saw that her eyes turned misty and
sad. He felt a sharp stab of sympathy towards her. He was surprised
at himself that he suddenly found himself fighting the urge to hug
her, seeing how this young woman was wholeheartedly laughing a few
minutes ago and now her eyes are hiding a great burden.

Paramita shook her head and took a deep
breath. “Oh well, I’ll have to live with it I guess.”

Suddenly they heard footsteps
approaching, it was Hafiz and a maid who was carrying a tray with
drinks.

Paramita accepted a glass of orange
juice and took a sip at it. Ali could see that she was still trying
to calm herself down.

She handed the glass back to the maid
before turning to Hafiz, “Hafiz, I sincerely apologize about what
happened in London. It was wrong of me to treat you that way. I
understand that you feel hurt about it. What I did was wrong and
hurtful, please forgive me.”

Hafiz looked at her with surprise as if
he saw a ghost, “Excuse me? Is this a trick or something? Did I
hear you apologize to me?”

Paramita smiled,” You heard right, and
if you don’t believe me, I’ll say it again. I sincerely apologize
for my behavior in the past. Please understand I was immature back
then, since we are at this point in our lives we should act like
mature adults, I hope you will forgive me for my wrong doings and
not hold it against me.”

Hafiz looked at her doubtfully. But
with Ali there and his meaningful look, took a deep breath and said
with resignation. “Of course I forgive you and anything that I did
in the past to offend you, please forgive me too. Let’s forget
everything and start clean.”

Ali looked at him inquisitively, “Start
clean?” Ali laughed feeling satisfied with himself,
"Congratulations, now that everything is clear, we can go ahead and
tell the elders to move forward with the wedding plans.”

Paramita looked at Ali with annoyance,
but hastily smiled and said. “Wait, please don’t say anything to
the elders yet. Please let me be the one to talk to my Father first
and give him the good news, he will be the one to talk to Raden
Hamza.”

Ali thought for a while, “You’re right,
we shouldn’t get ahead of ourselves. This is an important matter
and it does involve the Royal Family. Hafiz, let’s not mention
about our discussion to anyone yet.”

Chapter Three

That night Paramita moved restlessly in
her bed. She spent more than an hour tossing and turning. There was
nothing more that she would like to do now than throw a tantrum and
trash her bedroom, but she was aware that it would be useless. A
mixed feeling of anger, hurt, and loneliness filled her heart, like
poison ready to kill her.

She never wanted any of this. Princess,
what princess? For her, it’s an empty and meaningless title. Her
residence in the palace? She never asked for it she didn’t care one
bit. And all for what? Piety! Piety to a mother that was too busy
with parties to have time for her and cared only about her
reputation among the rich and shameless. Or for her father who
never acknowledged her till he needed her for his own selfish
reasons. Nationalism? She wasn’t even born or raised in Jothar, in
fact, when the Royal Family officially acknowledged her as the
Sultan’s daughter that was the first time she ever set foot in this
country.

All her life she could remember her
mother telling her about her birth rights. How as the daughter of
the Sultan of Jothar, she should use all her honorific titles, and
people should never dare to call her by name. How she should live
in a palace and wearing the best clothes and jewelry. Paramita
never understood her mother’s complaints on this. They lived in a
house in Barnsbury, neither of them ever needed to lift a finger to
do housework, she always remembered that her mother shopped at the
best boutiques and ate at the best restaurants. They always had
drivers to take them wherever they needed to go in a car that will
always be a BMW, her mother’s favorite brand. Or how many families
could afford annual vacations to the Mediterranean?

A whole life, of listening to her
mother's whining and complaining about their life, was what made
her decide to go to college when she took her undergraduate in
Cambridge. She was finally happy to be far from her mother’s
“you’re the daughter of the Sultan of Jothar” speech. And it was
there in Cambridge, in Churchill College, she met him for the first
time.

* * *

London 1992

It was her first day in college and she
was so excited. Finally, she’s taking her first step into the real
world and to her independence. She decided that in her new life she
was going to hide her true identity. Of course, she will still be
using her real name, her real ID number, her real home address,
etc. But she was determined not to let anybody know who her parents
are, what they do, and what they own. She will be just herself,
Paramita Sawitri.

She left all the designer wardrobe that
her mother chose and bought for her over the years, and the day
before moving to college, she had Noorhayati her nanny, ask Wendy,
the only English housemaid in their staff to go and buy her some
new set of clothes at a department store, making sure that Wendy
only bought clothes that were within the working class buying
range. A decision that she would regret later because apparently
Wendy had a “special” taste in clothing.