Private Sins (Three Rivers Series: Book 1) (11 page)

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Kelly slept through her parents’ visit. She was so physically and emotionally drained that she vaguely recalled when Theo joined her in bed. She woke up in the morning at around ten o’clock and hauled herself to the kitchen. Erica was reading the day’s newspaper around the breakfast table with remnants of her breakfast scattered around her.

“Hey little sister,” Erica said, looking up from the paper. “I got your children ready and sent them off to school…made breakfast. I tell you it was hard to make porridge with the fake milk you guys use, but I persevered
—doesn’t taste half bad either. Who knew that almond milk was so versatile?”

“Where's Theo and the baby?” Kelly asked her voice hoarse.

“Theo said he has an interview at nine, and your little munchkin, is at his grandmother's.”

“Thank you very much,” Kelly whispered. “What type of tea did you make?” she indicated to the teapot.

“Chocolate of course,” Erica giggled. “Chocolate should have its own food group and be placed squarely at the base of the food pyramid.”

Kelly rolled her eyes. “Today is your day off?”

“Yup,” Erica said perusing the paper. “So I am all yours today. I was thinking we should go to Gloria's and get a little spa treatment.”

Kelly sighed, “I don’t deserve to be happy Erica. I am a cheating, two-timing fool who gave her husband another man's child and lied about it. Now he is leaving me.”

“You don't know that yet,” Erica said sympathetically, “and with time all this will not seem as sharp. Remember last year when I found out that Jay Jay was already married when he proposed to me?”

Kelly nodded. “That two timing louse. Oh wait, I have no right calling anybody that.”

“I felt so dead inside that I thought I would never recover. I saw him at the supermarket last Wednesday evening, and felt nothing. Not one thing. Jay Jay is now just a life lesson.”

Kelly nodded. “My life lesson is Mark. My darling son will always be a constant reminder that I was unfaithful. What husband would want that constant reminder around?”

“Maybe you should give him to the Donahue's,” Erica said.

Kelly's eyes widened. “No, never.”

“Suppose it comes down to choosing between your husband and your baby, who would you choose?”

Kelly laughed, a humorless sound that echoed in the kitchen. “My husband would never ask me to choose like that.”

“But if he did?” Erica asked earnestly.

“I honestly don't know Erica,” Kelly shook her head. “Do I sound like the vilest mother on earth?”

They heard the garage door open and close.

“Theo's home,” Kelly said, running her fingers through her hair. “I look awful. I guess how I look now will sound the death knell on our marriage, he'll take one look at me and think, boy was I lucky to escape her.”

Erica grinned, “You don’t look that awful, your eyes are swollen and your nose tip is a bit raw, apart from that you look gorgeous.”

“Thanks,” Kelly said sarcastically sipping her tea. “This is good. You must have laced it with sugar.”

“Of course,” Erica said unrepentant.

Theo came into the kitchen, “Ladies.”

“Hey Theo,” Erica said brightly.

“Morning,” Kelly said.

“I was just offered a job to work in the Cayman Islands as chair of a psychology department at a Christian college. Perks include a relocation package and rent free accommodation in a four bedroom bungalow.”

“Congrats,” Erica said smiling. “So did you take up the offer?”

“Yes,” Theo said looking at Kelly.

Kelly hung her head and began massaging her temples.

She mumbled, “Excuse me,” and got up from the table her robe snagging in the chair, she grabbed it so hard that it ripped. She left the kitchen once again with tears in her eyes.

“She's taking this extremely hard.” Erica watched as her sister drunkenly walked up the stairs as if somebody had hit her on the head.

Theo shrugged, “I clutched the offer with both arms, I want to get away for a while.”

“So when are you leaving?” Erica asked curiously.

“A month,” Theo said sighing, “I'll just ship my things over there. I need to be back here in April for Matthew's sixth birthday, June for Thea's birthday.”

“And August for Mark's birthday,” Erica said softly.

Theo swallowed. “We'll see about that.”

Erica sputtered, “You love that child; he is yours in all but biology. You can't just turn off the love.”

“I haven’t,” Theo said sadly, “that is my dilemma.”

“Are you going to allow Chris Donahue to move in and take over your family?” Erica asked shrewdly.

Theo groaned, “I should have left them alone from twelve years ago. I should have not gone on that hiking trip. I wouldn’t have proposed and they would be together today. Maybe, I am the odd man out in this scenario. Twelve years ago I forced Kelly to choose between me and Chris. I guess she made her choice this time around.”

“Chris is not in the picture, you are making the choice here and now,” Erica said. “You are taking yourself out of the equation.”

“There should never have been a third person in the equation in the first place,” Theo said angrily. “When I married Kelly she became my other half. That is the only equation that should've been, now there's a third party. It makes me sick to think of it.

Believe you me Erica when I tell you that this whole situation has knocked me seriously off kilter. I sometimes think thoughts that I have to subject to God and cry out to him to help me with them. Thoughts about Chris, thoughts about Kelly, thoughts about the two of them having sex, and thoughts about her being so caught up in her little sordid affair that she could be so careless as to get pregnant by him. I have never, in all my life, understood what a crime of passion was until I consider what Kelly has done to me. I have to take a break from her to even begin to feel normal. I have no idea if I will ever be normal again. This betrayal hurts to the core.”

Erica nodded, her usually unflappable brother-in-law was hurting, and for the first time since she has known him had she seen this depth of emotion from him. All the cool was gone and in its place was a deeply wounded man. She declined to say a word as he headed out again with a slump to his shoulders.

CHAPTER TWENTY

It was announced on Sabbath that Pastor Palmer would be leaving in four weeks for the Cayman Islands. The news created quite a stir, especially when someone whispered that Sister Kelly and the children were staying in Jamaica until further notice.

“Well, they do have school,” Sister Tibbs said wisely, “It wouldn’t be prudent to break them from that.”

“Did you see how that baby resembles a certain elder who is not worshipping here anymore? And now the pastor is leaving her and the children? Mark my words, you never see smoke without fire,” Sister Kym said staunchly.

“The rumor is rife over at another church that Elder Chris was having an affair with Sister Kelly,” Sister Tanya whispered, “and to think Erica and I are friends and she didn’t breathe a word to me about it.”

Phoebe stuck her head in the conversation and looked at the women. “So that's why Chris was so stand offish to me and the other singles here. He prefers them married.”

Sister Tibbs chuckled and then sobered up. “Well what can we do? The pastor and the elder has left, only Sister Kelly is here. The poor woman is probably suffering from deep depression. She's left holding the baby, literally.”

Hyacinth Donahue listened with a keen ear not letting on that she had heard a word but as soon as she got home called Chris.

“You wouldn’t believe what's happening!” Hyacinth said urgently down the phone. “The pastor is leaving Jamaica. There is no mention of his wife or children going.”

Chris was silent for the longest time, clutching the phone receiver tightly.

“Mom,” he sighed, “he's leaving because he knows.”

“What?” Hyacinth said breathlessly, “How'd you know that?”

“Could you believe that Estella called me crying, saying that she told him her suspicions about Kelly's child being mine and that he had looked so devastated and that she was sorry.”

“How'd Estella know?” Hyacinth asked confused.

“She put two and two together,” Chris said, “after she confessed I haven’t spoken to her.”

“Okay then.” Hyacinth sighed, “So what are you going to do?”

“Nothing,” Chris said wearily. “Don’t you think I have done enough? I helped to break up a perfectly good family.”

“But what about the baby?” Hyacinth said urgently, “he is yours. We should fight for custody of him.”

“No,” Chris coughed, “I am leaving the whole situation with Kelly alone. I'm not claiming parental rights. If I do, I will be tied up with Kelly for years, I am trying to move on with my life in a healthy way. Kelly and thoughts of her is unhealthy for me. With her I am obsessed, she's like a drug for me and I am slowly weaning myself from it. I can't get suckered into her again, Mom.”

“But the baby…” Hyacinth whispered.

“The baby will have a great father in Theo, if he ever decides to forgive his wife.” Chris's voice choked with tears. “I made my peace with the whole thing. I think you guys should too.”

When Hyacinth hung up the phone and let out a long deep heartfelt sigh.

*****

“So are you all packed?” Kelly was standing at the doorway to the room which was once theirs. She had no tears left. They hadn’t really talked since he announced to the church that he was leaving, he even broke the news to the children himself without her participation.

He straightened up, “I will bank the household and living expenses in our joint account as usual.”

Kelly nodded biting her lips.

“I wanted to come back for the children's birthdays but I am not sure if I should, it's too soon to come back you know…”

Kelly nodded again.

“If you resume your relationship with Chris I would stay in a hotel when I'm here. Don’t want to step on another man's territory, though he had no problem trampling all over mine. Maybe then we can rationally discuss the ending of our marriage.”

Kelly stammered, “re-re-resumed, what are you talking about?”

Theo glanced at her his heart breaking a little, he did a good job of hiding his pain from Kelly and for the past three and a half weeks he had started sleeping in the spare room, preparing for their separation and missing her like crazy. He hadn’t even left the house yet and already he was sad and painfully lonely.

“You deserve to pursue your first choice, Kelly.” Theo spun around and hunched his shoulders. “I am moving out of your way. Maybe you'll make a better property developer's wife than a pastor's wife.”

“Stop it,” Kelly rasped. “I am not going to be walking off into the sunset with Chris when you leave. What happened between Chris and me is over. I haven’t spoken to him in ages. I don’t want to resume anything with him. What I want is for my husband to take me with him, flaws and all and let us work this out together.”

She clutched her chest, “please don’t leave me behind, Theo, please.”

She hugged him from behind her hand clutching his taut belly. “I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry.”

She thought she had no tears left but they welled up in her eyes and started to flow anyway.

Theo turned around and hugged her to him tight. “If only we could step back in time, and heal our hurts, right our wrongs.”

“We can.” Kelly looked up at him, her eyes shining. “It's called forgiveness it is our time travel.”

Theo wiped away a tear from her face with his thumb. “But there's this thing called consequences, it stares you in the face everyday and with it a real reminder of how devastating the hurt that we cause others can be.”

Kelly stepped back. “And in our case, the consequence is Mark?”

Theo didn’t answer.

“Do you hate that baby?” Kelly whispered.

“You know I don’t,” Theo said giving her a look of reproach. “I love him like I do Matthew and Thea. Up until a couple weeks ago I thought he was mine.”

“So just let it go,” Kelly said her voice fading away.

“Remember that song you love so much? ‘
Ordinary People
’?”

Kelly nodded.

“I think the lyrics sum up our situation.” Theo kissed her on her forehead. “I'll call you when I get there.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Theo stood at the tarmac waiting for one Cynthia Berry from the school to pick him up. He felt a tap on his shoulder and spun around. A petite lady with a wide smile was looking at him.

“Pastor Palmer.”

“Yes,” Theo nodded.

“I'm Cynthia Berry, your official welcoming committee, tour guide and driver. Welcome to Grand Cayman.”

“Thank you,” Theo said, grinning.

“My vehicle is this way.” She indicated to a red sports utility vehicle that was parked at the edge of the parking lot. He followed behind her and stowed his bags in the back of the vehicle.

“We had a little fight to come pick you up,” Cynthia said, grinning. “There were so many volunteers to do this one deed.”

Theo smiled. “Why is that?”

“Well, we saw your picture,” Cynthia was laughing. “Anyway, I won the haggling because I live across from you. Can you imagine that? Don’t look so scared.” Cynthia looked over at Theo. “I am not a stalker, and I know that you have a wife.”

Theo exhaled in relief.

Cynthia laughed and pulled onto the main road. “Are you hungry? We could stop and get a bite to eat. “

“Sure,” Theo said, “I was not hungry before I left Jamaica but now I'm famished.”

Cynthia nodded, “I am sure that Hilma—the housekeeper that the three houses in our cul-de-sac share—cooked up a storm for you. But it would be nice to eat at Breezes By The Bay, it will give you a good intro to our island.”

“Sounds good,” Theo said, basking in the atmosphere of Cayman and enjoying the sea breeze he felt through the window.

When he had stepped out of the plane he thought that he would feel lighter somehow, now that he had put some much needed distance between himself and Kelly, but instead he felt a tug of loneliness so intense he had to struggle to breathe.

That sense of loneliness was accompanied with a sense of betrayal that instantly made him feel angry.

He should have been arriving in Cayman with Kelly and the children, it would have been like an adventure, his contract with the school was a two year one and he wondered to himself what on earth was he going to do with himself when it was over, what would be the state of his marriage?

The question made him grit his teeth and he barely heard when Cynthia breathlessly said, “here we are.”

He looked outside and realized that they were at a building that overlooked the water.

“One of the best eateries downtown,” Cynthia declared.

“Ah,” he said getting out of the car and looking out at the frothy blue sea. “I love the view.”

Cynthia laughed. “Cayman almost has a view from everywhere. Where we live, on the East Side, the water is spectacular. You wake up to bird song in the morning and fall asleep with the sea singing you a lullaby. The school is not far from where we are now. But first things first. Let’s eat and then I'll show you around.”

They ordered fish and chips and sat looking out at the bay
—a calming sight that reminded him of home in St. Ann, and with it, bittersweet memories.

Cynthia was looking at him, feeling a bit tongue-tied. He was truly gorgeous and she was not kidding when she told him that they had practically fought in the teachers’ lounge for the pleasure of picking him up from the airport.

“So tell me about the school.” He looked at her with his warm brown eyes and she stared at him for so long he was starting to look concerned.

“I am sorry,” Cynthia said, hurriedly sipping her drink. “I think I have just a teeny bit of a crush on you.”

Theo grinned. “You are very honest.”

“I know,” Cynthia sighed dramatically. “I have no guile or tact or diplomacy. Honesty dogs my feet wherever I walk. Hence, the reason I am single.”

Theo laughed. Other diners were looking at him, but he didn’t care. For the first time in weeks he could laugh about something.

His mood lifted a bit after that and he gave Cynthia, the sternest expression he could muster. “Cynthia honesty is a fruit of the spirit, it’s a gift. It was Thomas Jefferson who said that honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom. So tell me about the school and where I’ll live, everything.”

She grinned with him. “Well, as you can see, Cayman is beautiful. The school is on the outskirts of this town, not far from here. The house is on the East Side, where life is a little slower than the West Side with its high-rise buildings and commerce. Our school enrolls a total of 800 students. Our department has a total of 115 students.”

“So you are in Psychology too?” Theo asked Cynthia, cupping his chin.

“Yes sirree,” Cynthia grinned. “I'm an adjunct lecturer, which makes you, as department chair, my boss.”

“So are you from around here?” Theo asked, realizing for the first time that he had not really looked at Cynthia. She was a very attractive woman. She had whisky brown eyes, thick well-shaped eyebrows and a pink bow of a mouth that looked like it was permanently turned up in a smile.

“Yes, I am,” Cynthia said, “I'm a native Caymanian. My parents reside in Miami now but I was born here, so the moment a lecturer position opened I came back home.”

Theo nodded.

“So can I ask you the question I've been burning to ask?” Cynthia said nervously.

Theo raised his eyebrows and then half smiled. “She is back home in Jamaica with the children. I have no idea if she will be joining me out here.”

Cynthia grinned. “I wasn’t the only one wondering. We were all wondering when your family would join you.”

Theo sighed. “I have no definite answer.”

Cynthia was burning to ask if everything was all right with their relationship. He wasn’t even wearing a wedding band. Was that a sign that he's separated? She bit off the burning question at the tip of her tongue. She would suppress her questioning for now.

Theo entered the bungalow after Cynthia left. A lady named Hilma, who was supposed to be his housekeeper on Mondays and Wednesdays, informed him that the house was in tip-top shape. 

A car was in the garage for him to use for the duration of his stay and the fridge was stocked. He would report to the college tomorrow and learn more about his position. Cynthia had invited him to a barbeque with other staff members and friends at her house, which was just across the road from him, hidden behind thick flowering bougainvilleas. He had refused; he was too tired—both in body and spirit—to contemplate being social right now.

He looked around the house. It was at the very end of the cul-de-sac with three other houses; it had manicured lawns and mature fruit trees. The design was Mediterranean; had a deep burnt orange color and the windows and doors had mosquito screens.

The rooms were spacious and he headed to what looked like the master, throwing himself down on the queen-sized mattress. He closed his eyes and listened to the sea which was a few feet below the back deck.

It is lovely here, and so peaceful.
He heard his cell phone ringing and reluctantly answered it; he knew it was Kelly. He had promised to call when he arrived. He looked at his watch; it was eight o’ clock. Hearing her voice would shatter his peace-of-mind.

“Hey,” he answered the phone drowsily.

“So you reached safely,” she sounded relieved, “we were getting worried.”

“Sorry, I didn’t call,” he took off his shoes, “I went for a bite-to-eat with Cynthia, my welcome-to-Cayman person.”

“Oh?” Kelly said, hoping for him to elaborate.

Theo, hearing the curiosity in her voice, decided not to tell her anything more. In the past he would have rattled off details, reporting faithfully like her little puppy. But he felt as if that part of him was broken or hiding in anger, pain and betrayal. He had no reason to reassure her. She had broken the trust in their relationship and the monumental task of putting it back together was beyond him right now.

“Can I speak to Matthew and Thea?” he asked her in the silence.

“Sure, sure,” Kelly stammered.

She called the kids, and he closed his eyes as a shaft of pain grazed his heart.

After talking to the children, he didn’t ask to speak to Kelly again; he couldn’t handle hearing her anymore. The icy control which had encased his reactions to her devastating news was slowly melting, and he felt a surge of anger toward her so powerful he squeezed his eyes shut and weathered its onslaught.