Professional Boundaries (7 page)

Without a second thought, Boss pulled me into a big bear hug. “How are you kiddo?”

“I’m looking forward to that raise you promised me,” I said against his chest.

He laughed and let me go. “That’s my girl.”

I could hear the relief in his voice. He wrapped his arm around me, and we walked back to the kitchen. Holly was just putting dinner, which looked like some cheesy pasta dish, into the oven. That was out of character for her. Normally dinner was served promptly when guests arrived at the Chandler home.

“Is everything ok?

They both looked at me oddly.

“Is something wrong?” I asked.

Boss cleared his throat. “Not at all, we’re just expecting another guest, and we wanted you to come early so we could talk to you before he arrives.”

“He? This isn’t like a blind date or something is it?” I laughed nervously.

They both laughed uncomfortably. “No, we would never dream of doing such a thing,” Holly answered.

“Ok, do I know this ‘He’?”

Boss turned red again. He was doing that a lot lately. He didn’t even need to say his name.

I shook my head in disbelief. “It’s Ian, isn’t it?”

“Now, before you leave or get upset, hear me out,” Boss pled.

I looked skeptically at them both. Why would they do this to me? Their home was one of my safe havens. It ranked right up there with Amanda’s and my own place, and now they invited
him
here.

“First off, Kelli, I had no idea you and Ian had dated.”

“I know that,” I said.

He smiled in response, but he was still nervous. By this time Holly was by his side, and she had her arm around him as if to show her support. She kept looking at me with those motherly eyes of hers.

“I’m not exactly sure what happened between you two, but I take it it didn’t go well by your response yesterday. But, honey, I can’t do anything about it now unless I want to hire a team of lawyers and spend my life savings trying to get out of his employment contract.”

I reached out and touched his arm. “I would never ask you to do that.”

“But, honey, we don’t want to lose you. I meant what I said about you being the best employee I’ve ever had, and you know how both Holly and I feel about you personally. We couldn’t love you more if we shared last names.”

I began to tear up. That immediately brought Holly to my side. She wrapped me up in her gentle, loving arms. So many times over the years I had found myself in her arms. As soon as she began to rub my back, the tears came on full force. I don’t know why. The last couple of days had been emotional, to be sure, and Ian being here brought back more memories than I cared to remember, especially because so many of them were so sweet that it was painful. I also just missed having a mother sometimes, and Holly had this way of making me feel so loved.

“Is he the man you met your first year at school?” she asked.

I couldn’t speak; I just shook my head yes against her shoulder. The only people I had really opened up to about Ian were my Dad and Amanda, but Holly knew I had been heartbroken. She had always tried to get me to talk about it, even though her true desire was for me to marry Luke. At least it had been. She knew in her heart that that wasn’t right for me or even fair to me.

“Hmm … That’s what I thought,” she said with all the tenderness of a real mother.

“Kelli, I really am sorry,” Boss said.

I lifted my head. “It’s not your fault, how could you have known?”

He looked at me with a fatherly expression. “I don’t know. He did seem very interested in you, but I just assumed it was because I mentioned, several times, that you were the heart of the office, and let’s be honest, even the brains.”

I smiled.

“Of course, there’s your profile picture and bio on our website, and what man wouldn’t be interested in you?” he added.

I shook my head and laughed through my now intermittent tears. The Chandlers were always too kind. They thought everyone loved me. Love can be blind.

“But all that being said, Ian is a brilliant business man and I wouldn’t have hired him if I didn’t think he was the right person for the job. I’ve had background checks run on him and the whole caboodle.”

I laughed some more. “Boss, I’m not worried about Ian being a predator. He’s not interested in me that way anyway. And believe me, I know how smart he is.”

“Of course he’s interested in you that way. Who wouldn’t be?” Holly interjected.

Remember what I said about love being blind?

I wiped my eyes. “No. He’s not, and it’s ok. I came to terms with that a long time ago. He’s here because, like you said, he’s a brilliant businessman and he likes a challenge.”

They both examined me closely. “So … how do you feel about him?” Holly asked cautiously.

“I won’t lie, I loved him.” My voice cracked a little saying that out loud. “But now my feelings are quite the opposite.”

They both looked worried, so I added in, “But I won’t let it get in the way of doing my job well.”

“I would never worry about you doing your job well, kiddo.”

I smiled at the sentiment. 

“Do you want to tell us what happened between the two of you, sweetheart?” Holly asked hopefully. She loved a little intrigue. 

“Not really. Honestly, I wish I could forget.”

I meant it too. Sure, it was mostly amazing, but that was the problem. It was amazing and right, and apparently it could never be duplicated. As much as I never tried to compare my relationship with Ian to any others I’ve had, I did. The standard had been set, and I guess I wanted nothing less. Unfortunately, I’d never even come close, and I’d tried and tried. Well, not lately, but you can only try so many times before you get really discouraged.

My response disappointed them, but I just couldn’t talk about him, especially with him coming over here. The less everyone knew, the better. It was bad enough that I knew, and of course, that Ian knew. I still remembered how distasteful it was for him to know that I loved him. That’s something a girl doesn’t forget and something she doesn’t really want other people to know. It was still embarrassing and hurtful, but I guessed I was going to have to get over that if I wanted to keep working at Chandler.

“We understand, honey,” Holly said.

“Can I ask why you invited him for dinner?”

Holly went back to meal prep; she seemed to want to leave that question for Boss to answer. Boss rubbed the back of his neck.

“We …”

Holly turned around and gave him the eye.

“Ok, I thought it would be a good idea if you two got reacquainted outside the office. I thought perhaps I could smooth things over,” he amended.

“So this is a therapy session?” I joked.

“Kelli, this isn’t going to work without you on board, and I feel terrible about the situation I’ve placed you in. I need to know you’re going to be alright. The company is secondary to you in this situation.”

I walked over and hugged Boss. I took a deep breath. “I love you, Boss. You don’t need to worry about me. He’s just a man after all.”

Boss squeezed me tight. “Yeah, well, I know men, Kelli. And I know you, and I’ve never seen you react like you did yesterday. ”

I tried to wave off his concern. “I was just caught off guard, that’s all.”

I don’t think either he or Holly believed that, but it was the best I could do. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth when it came to Ian. If I had to work with him, I needed to pretend like we never knew each other, that I never loved him, and that he didn’t reject me. I wasn’t sure how I was going to accomplish that, but not talking about it was a good place to start. Of course, Amanda already knew, which meant Zane knew too, but there wasn’t anything I could do to change that.

“Again, had I known Kelli …”

I looked Boss straight in the eye. “You would have made the same decision, and that’s ok. You’re a businessman too.”

He squeezed me again. “Someday that office will be yours, Kelli … that is, unless you find something else that makes you happier.”

I let go of him and looked at him squarely again. The way he’d said that was interesting. He just winked at me and then asked Holly what he could do to help. I pitched in as well. It was like old times, except that I was fretting on the inside worrying about Ian showing up. For Boss’ and Holly’s sake, I needed to put on my game face. I didn’t want them worrying about me or their company when they should be relaxing and enjoying retirement and their family. I could be a big girl about this; I just needed to act as if the best year of my life never happened. Easy, right?

Just as we finished setting the table, the doorbell rang. It kind of made me jump. I was a little too on edge; I needed to relax and get my head in the game. I laughed to myself as I thought of a line from the movie “Frozen” I had taken my nieces to see over winter break, “Conceal, don’t feel.” I seriously thought that was going to become my new motto.

As Boss went to answer the door, Holly joined me at the table and gave me a quick squeeze. “Life has a way of giving us what we need, not always what we want, but if we’re smart, we’ll realize that’s what we wanted all along.”

I tilted my head to the side and started to respond to her curious advice, but Boss walked back with Ian. I closed my eyes for a split second, breathed in deeply, and put on a counterfeit smile that would have passed for the real deal any day. Ian seemed to immediately look my way. He smiled wide at me. So far my plan was working. In fact, everyone was looking at me and smiling; I could tell Boss didn’t quite buy it, but what could he say now?

After the greeting pleasantries, we were seated. Ian and I ended up next to each other, whether by design or accident I couldn’t tell, but no matter, I was concealing not feeling. I smiled inward at my “Frozen” reference. I couldn’t wait to tell Amanda. She was so tired of hearing the girls sing the songs from that film. Now I could tell her about the real life application and give her a laugh.

The dinner started off a little awkward. I’m not sure anyone knew what to say right off. Thankfully, Holly was a gracious hostess. “So Ian, tell us how you like Nashville so far. Have you found a place to settle in yet?”

He looked at me tentatively. “It’s been interesting, but I’m looking forward to getting to know the city better. And for the interim I’m staying at the Westin. I have an idea of where I’d like to land, but I’m just not sure yet.”

I wondered if he was in one of the penthouses the Westin offered. It was hard to imagine Ian in a penthouse. I had always known he would be successful, but when I knew him, he lived in a small basement apartment with an untidy roommate named Jeff. Ian only put up with him because he paid half the rent.

“I would be happy to put you in touch with a friend of mine that’s a realtor,” Holly offered.

“Thank you, but I don’t think that will be necessary.”

Maybe that meant he wasn’t planning on staying long. I tried not to get my hopes up too high.

Holly and Boss went on to tell Ian all of the great places he needed to go and where the best neighborhoods were. I stayed mostly quiet, unless I was asked a question. I knew Holly and Boss were trying to engage me; they talked about lots of my favorite places, like Cheekwood, some of the plantations, and of course the Grand Ole Opry. All I offered up was my agreement that they were worth visiting. Ian kept looking my way and looking disappointed. I just smiled. It was better than crying or screaming, because that’s what I really wanted to do. I wanted to know why he couldn’t have loved me, why he had to look so darn good, and why, oh why, did he have to come here?

Then things got really interesting. “So, will your family be joining you soon? This is a great place to raise a family.” Holly winked at me.

From our conversation in the kitchen, I got the feeling she already knew he didn’t have a family. What was she playing at?

Ian set his fork down and cleared his throat. “I’m sure it is, but I’m single.”

She smiled mischievously. “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought Gary had mentioned a wife?”

Holly looked to Gary, and Gary and Ian both looked at me. I’m not sure why.

Ian was definitely uncomfortable. His skin even pinked a little. I tried to be unfazed by it. I was thankful I had googled him last night, even though it hadn’t been enough to rule out the possibility he could have remarried after his divorce. Ian spoke to Holly, but he looked at me. I tried not to look in those deep brown eyes of his, and I tried not to remember what it was like to touch his face, which was now showing signs of a five o’clock shadow.

“No need to apologize. I’m divorced,” he said hesitantly.

“Well, I’m sorry to hear that,” Holly said, but she didn’t look sorry at all.

 “It was for the best,” he said so matter-of-factly, I couldn’t tell if he was upset by it or not. Not like I cared. Right?

I needed a change of subject, and I needed him to quit looking at me. I quickly spoke up. “Holly, Boss said you got some new pictures of your grandbabies.”

Thankfully that did the trick. Holly jumped right up and went to retrieve the pictures. Boss just looked at me inquisitively. He knew me too well.

Ian thankfully turned his attention to Boss. “How many grandkids do you have?”

Boss’ face lit up like the Times Square’s Christmas tree. He was ever the proud grandpa. “Three.” He went on to brag, and rightly so, about his babies, Sara, Ethan Jr. and Camden.

Holly quickly rejoined us and passed out the new pictures and, of course, added to the bragging. Camden was just starting to walk, Ethan was the star pupil in kindergarten, and Sara, the eight-year-old, had just started piano, just to name a few of their many wonderful qualities. I oohed and ahhed at the adorable pictures, and fortunately the grandkids took us all the way through dinner.

I enthusiastically offered to help clear the table and clean the kitchen with Holly.

“I’ve got it, honey. Why don’t you just relax,” Holly said as she made her way to the kitchen.

But I wasn’t taking no for an answer. I would be more relaxed at my annual gynecologist appointment than I would be sitting there with Ian. My limit for concealing had just about expired for the evening. I hoped the longer I was around Ian, the easier it would get and I would gain the stamina I needed to completely hide my true feelings around him.