Authors: Dee Julian
I handily deserve what you must think of me, but I need your wisdom. When we were lads, you often placed yourself between trouble and me. Even going so far as to take my punishment on occasion. I am so desperately alone in this. Come home, Nicolas. Please.
Your devoted brother,
Adrian.
The note was dated three days before his death.
Nicolas slid the letter back inside the envelope and placed it on the bottom shelf. He closed the secret panel and leaned his head against the armoire. Mixed emotions churned inside him.
Anger...that his brother did not value his own son. Disappointment...because Adrian seemed to have forgotten the definition of honor. Guilt...because he’d been abroad when Adrian needed him the most. And sympathy...for the man who would never share his life with the woman he loved.
The list could go on, but why bother? He would not show the letter to Gran, and he would never tell Edwin his father had been ashamed of him. One day, when he found the courage, he would burn the letter. One day, when he could bear to part with it.
And Leah Sheridan...he’d wronged her again.
Nicolas raised his head. Many years had passed since he’d drank himself into a stupor. Tonight he’d make up for lost time.
###
Leah hugged a pillow to her chest. For two hours she’d tossed and turned, running from the dark-eyed demon who dominated her thoughts.
The slow rain outside her bedroom window trickled down the glass, guiding her mind to a safer subject. The Bal Masque was only a week away, but she still hadn’t decided on a costume. Chase claimed she’d make a fine goddess, but his eyes had mocked his tender words.
She slung her pillow at the door. Could she not stop thinking of the man? The way he looked down his nose at her only caused her temperature to rise. Did he have to be so incredibly handsome? Did his warm touch have to make her skin tingle? Did his smooth tone of voice have to snatch her breath away?
Stop this!
Leah kicked off the covers. It didn’t matter what costume she wore. Chase would never see it.
A smirk tugged at one corner of her mouth. Would it annoy him when he learned she had purposely left his name off the invitation list? She certainly hoped so. But then...would she ever see Edwin again?
Her throat tightened. Dear little Edwin. Did he cry for her? She couldn’t bear to think he did.
She rolled onto her back. Having Trinity O’Connell roaming around the manor hadn’t been as unpleasant as she’d first anticipated. Despite the fact that he worked for Irma Crandle and therefore could not be trusted, she found his company surprisingly enjoyable. He didn’t stare at her through hostile black eyes nor did he accuse her of misdeeds. He actually listened, politely, when she spoke.
The rain deepened to a lush downpour, and she closed her eyes. The dream began almost immediately.
“
You are a coward, Adrian!”
“
I realize I’ve hurt you, Leah, but you must know how much I love you.”
“
How can you speak of love in the same breath you’ve confessed your betrayal?”
“
Nothing has changed between us.”
“
Everything has changed.”
“
I understand your anger, and I accept responsibility in this matter.”
“
Matter? He’s your son. A child of your own flesh and blood.”
“
He’s an illegitimate mistake.”
“
Mistake? Are you the same man I promised to share my life with?”
“
The very same. Leah, I will not lose you.”
“
You already have, Adrian.”
“
Please...” He grabbed her arm. “Forgive me.”
“
Forgive you?” She jerked away. “How can I? Your mistress bore you a son, and all you can think of is abandoning them.”
“
Maria is nothing to me. A harlot I used in a moment of weakness. My heart beats for you, my love.”
“
If your heart belonged to me, you would’ve never strayed.”
“
I never meant for you to find out.”
She stared at him, shocked and appalled he would admit such a thing. “I do not know you any more, Adrian. Perhaps I never did.” She choked off the pain. “But your lack of honor disturbs me far more than any physical betrayal.”
“
Then…” His expression held so much pain. “Our betrothal?”
She turned away. “There is no betrothal.”
Leah awoke, her heart thumping in the quiet darkness. Would the nightmares ever cease?
Something solid bounced off her window.
Another object hit the glass.
A few seconds later it happened again.
Then again.
She sat up, clutching the covers to her chin. Throughout their courtship, Adrian had often tossed pebbles against her window to get her attention.
Another object, larger this time, smacked against the glass. Imagination? Or the wind?
Leah swung her feet to the floor and grabbed her robe. She quickly tied the sash at her waist and hurried across the room. After opening the heavy curtains, she unlocked and raised the window. Rainwater dripped onto the ledge and down to the carpet. She poked her head out the window. The wind did not stir enough to disturb a lock of her hair. Her gaze narrowed and although the night was dark, she caught movement beneath the oak tree a few yards away.
Her heart rose in her throat.
Adrian?
A figure, tall and imposing, separated from the shadow of the tree. His horse followed. “Good evening, Miss Sheridan.”
Her heartbeat slowed with relief, and a warm sensation curled inside her stomach. “What are you doing, your Grace?”
His face tilted upward. “Admiring the view.”
“
At night?”
“
Apparently so.”
“
Did I not make it clear that you are not welcome at Greyson Manor?”
“
You did, but I’m clearly
outside
Greyson Manor. Still, you and I both know you only said what you did because you were angry with me for what I said.”
“
How did you know this was my window?”
“
Katrina,” he replied. “No, Kat did not tell me. That’s what I meant to say.”
She sighed. “Why are you here?”
“
I--” He stumbled then righted himself. “I wanted to speak with you.”
Leah leaned against the window frame. “You’re soused.”
“
I am not.”
He was, for he swayed a bit from side to side, but she did not intend to argue.
“
It’s late, your Grace, and I should not be speaking with you at all.”
“
Miss Sheridan...” His horse nudged him in the back, and he turned. “I’m getting to that. Go away. I’ll whistle when I’m done.”
The chestnut snorted but stayed put.
“
Forgive me, Miss Sheridan. I was momentarily distracted. Now then, where was I?”
Leah almost laughed. She’d never seen this humorous, lighthearted side of Chase. Perhaps no one had. It both surprised and delighted her.
He snapped his fingers. “Ah, yes. The apology.”
“
You didn’t journey out into this rain-soaked night expecting one from me?”
He laughed.
Her heart skipped several beats.
“
No,” he replied. “But Annie was right about me. I am a fool.” He pushed a strand of wet hair out of his eyes. “My treatment of you the other day was brutal and my judgment unfair. I apologize.”
“
Does this mean you might grant me permission to visit Edwin?”
“
It does.”
“
Thank you, but why the change of heart?”
“
Let’s just say it has to do with something I recently read.”
The gossip column!
No, if he’d read the bloody thing, he'd be outraged and not at all pleasant.
Leah decided not to question the duke’s reading choices. “Your Grace, I…” She drew a quick breath. “I’m sorry about drugging your tea. I really didn’t mean for you to drink it. It truly was an unfortunate miscalculation.”
“
Apology accepted.”
Her heart melted. “How is Edwin?”
“
Quite well actually. Grandmother spoils him shamelessly. I cannot keep a nanny or find one good enough.” He hesitated. “I’ve spoken to my solicitor about adopting the lad.”
“
Have you? That’s wonderful.”
“
Edwin is my nephew. I would never think of sending him away or not caring for him.” He braced his feet further apart in an obvious attempt to steady himself. “I suspect I’ll be needing a wife soon.”
A swift pain cut through her chest. “Well, I wish you luck then.” She started to close the window but changed her mind. “Who?”
“
Who what?”
“
Your wife.”
“
Oh, well actually I thought perhaps…” He paused, his hands on his hips. “You know, Grandmother Margaret asked me the same question.”
“
Did she?”
“
Yes.”
“
And?”
“
And what?”
Apparently Chase was a bit too soused for intelligent conversation, and she really didn’t wish to know the name of the woman he’d chosen anyway. In fact, it troubled her that she was bothered even the tiniest bit by the thought of his seeking a wife.
Jealous?
Impossible! She didn’t particularly like the duke.
A full moon slipped from behind the clouds and bathed the surroundings in subtle light.
“
Miss Sheridan...” He studied her for several seconds. “Good God, woman, you really are a goddess.”
The breath escaped Leah’s lungs in one long whoosh and if she hadn’t been gripping the windowsill so tightly, she would’ve rolled right over the edge.
“
I’ve no wish to embarrass you, my lady, but surely you’ve been handed such compliments before.”
Yes, but never the way you just did it!
“
Your eyes are fascinating,” he added. “Did you know they are the rich color of tortoise?”
She frowned. “My eyes resemble a turtle?”
“
Not that I noticed,” he replied with sincerity. “And when you’re angry, they turn a shade darker and sparkle like precious emeralds. I should know as you’re often angry with me.”
Leah smiled.
“
You’ve a fiery spirit, Goddess. I admire that in a woman. Timid females bore me. If I want a docile wife, I’ll purchase one. By the way, did I tell you that your hair reminds me of soft-spun silk?”
“
No, but--”
“
And your lavender scent...my God, it teases a man’s memory long after you leave the room.”
She blushed. “This conversation is highly inappropriate, your Grace.”
But she longed for more. Was Chase courting her? Had someone abducted the arrogant duke and thrust a caring gentleman in his place?
“
Your soft lips can launch a thousand daggers,” he said barely above a whisper. “Yet they tempt me in more ways than you could possibly imagine.”
Leah shivered as the warm sensation in her stomach intensified. She snatched hold of her sanity before it disappeared completely. “Your Grace, you should leave before you say something you might later regret.”
“
Regrets? I’ve only one. That I did not see my brother for the cad he was. If I had been here, I would’ve never allowed him to cause you a moment’s pain.”
Tears swam in her eyes. “You mustn’t say such things. It isn’t proper.”
“
Why?”
“
Must you ask?”
He frowned. “Ask what?”
The heat of embarrassment warmed her cheeks. “You pity me, is that it?”
“
Is that what you think?”
Leah wasn’t sure why Chase had ventured out on a rainy night to stand beneath her window, but what he was doing to her heart puzzled her even more. Frustrated, she grabbed a green ball of yarn from a nearby knitting basket and hurled it straight at his head.
He caught it in one graceful motion.
Was he really soused or merely pretending? Perhaps a little of both?
“
Whatever reason brought you to my window, your Grace, I highly doubt you will remember this conversation come morning.” Leah hugged her robe about her body. “This meeting is indecent and if my father discovers you, I’m not sure what he will think.”
“
How can I go when you’ve not answered my question?”
“
What question?”
A soft tapping sounded on her bedroom door, and Leah glanced around.
“
Miss Sheridan?” a male voice called.
“
Just a moment, Mister O’Connell.”
“
O’Connell?” Chase echoed, his tender mood vanishing on the spot. “You’re entertaining that idiot?”