Proper Secrets (32 page)

“That is the first passionate speech I’ve heard you make about him.
 
It cheers me that even after what you two have been through, you still love him.
 
I’ll aspire to this.
 
Help me up,” said Bridget.
 
She cleaned her face, and smoothed her hair, gave Emily a smile, and gestured that her older sister should lead the way downstairs.

Capt. Wingrave and Peter had gone for an appointment by the time Emily and Bridget appeared.
 
Lady Worthing would not be consoled until she knew all that her daughters knew.
 
She listened patiently, but had no advice to offer, only assurances that their current state of misery could not last forever.
 
Several days later, the Worthings were to attend a concert in a small hall patronized by the Annesleys.
 
Emily would have sooner stayed at Daylily House, but Bridget begged her not to be impolite to Mr. Annesley.

“His actions come from a good place, he is scared, scared to misstep as his brother has.
 
I have faith that he will think differently of me in time, and until then I would have you be kind to him, as a friend,” said Bridget.
 
Emily exhaled and rubbed her temples.

“If you wish it, but do know if he proposes to me, I don’t care what duty he feels, I will refuse,” said Emily.

“He is too careful.
 
Mr. Annesley would not propose unless he were sure of your answer.”

“Then I am safe forever.
 
Can I please stay here?”

“No!
 
He is mine, and I will endeavor to show him that.
 
You could help me best by going, and being yourself.
 
Do not take offense, but he fell in love with me, despite your many attractions, there must be something I have,” said Bridget.
 
Emily agreed to Bridget’s premise, but not necessarily the execution.

They arrived early to the event, adding to Emily’s misery.
 
The hall had been decorated in rich colors and crystal, and finely arranged for the wealthy guests it attracted.
 
The double doors to the seating area had been propped open, allowing freedom of movement between it and the refreshments, where most of the gathered listeners waited.

“Miss Worthing!” said a woman near here, which Emily recognized as the rosy-cheeked Miss Jones.

“Miss Jones!
 
Are you in Dunbarrow for the winter as well?” inquired Emily.

“I am here with Miss Wingrave.
 
I’m not sure we’ll be staying all winter, but for a few days at least,” said Miss Jones.

“Well, I am glad to see you.
 
It is so hard to make friends here, where the ladies are all concerned with garnering influence.”

“Oh, I know.
 
I don’t come to town except with relatives anymore, otherwise it’s quite boring.
 
And Mary recently gave up her usual travel partner.”
 
Miss Jones gave her a knowing look.

“Miss Morley?
 
Has she found a husband at last?”

Miss Jones laughed, “Quite the opposite really.
 
She was so sure of Mr. Sheridan that when he refused to pay her any more attention, you know her horrid behavior, she became withdrawn, and would only rant about him.
 
I’m afraid Miss Morley has been shunned from polite society, as long as she remains an antithesis to it.
 
Mr. Sheridan, on the other hand, has found another lady to court.”
 
She blushed and they laughed for quite some time about it, until Miss Jones spotted someone in the crowd.

“Elijah!
 
Dear cousin, is that you?” she said, waving to a passing gentleman.

“Why, Miss Jill!
 
I did not think to see you in Dunbarrow this season,” replied Capt. Wingrave as he joined them.
 
His eyes delighted in the tightening of Emily’s mouth.

“Did not Mary tell you we were coming?” asked Miss Jones.

“Mary?
 
She is here?” said Capt. Wingrave.

“Oh, yes, here she comes now,” said Miss Jones, gesturing with her chin.
 
Mary Wingrave did approach, though Emily had never seen her in such a state.
 
Gone were the smiles, and bright eyes, to be replaced with a tight-lipped frown just for her brother.

“Excuse me, Jill, Miss Worthing, I need to speak with Elijah for a moment,” said Miss Wingrave.
 
He challenged her for a moment, frowning back, until at last her glare moved him.
 
Miss Jones was quiet, thankfully, as she and Emily discreetly watched what would happen.
 
Mary’s lips moved, quickly and violently.
 
There could be no mistake that what she said to him was not pleasant.
 
They could not see Capt. Wingrave’s face, but his body did not move, as if he were only listening to be courteous.

“Emily, have you seen Capt. Wingrave?
 
I can usually find him wherever you are,” said Peter.
 
Emily blushed, and Miss Jones smiled with glee at more confirmation of the gossip.

“I don’t know what you mean, but he is over there, with his sister,” said Emily.
 
Peter drained of color, seeing Mary so agitated, and so close.
 
As Miss Wingrave listened to Elijah’s reply, her eyes met Peter’s, and the irritation fell away to complete shock.
 
Capt. Wingrave turned to see what had caused the change, and noting his second, shook his head.
 
He finished whatever he’d been saying and bowed, leaving Mary where she stood.
 
After a moment, she walked away, extremely angry.
 
Capt. Wingrave returned to them.
 
Peter looked at the ground, too preoccupied to continue talking.

“I apologize, a matter of business,” said Capt. Wingrave.

“I had better tend to her, gentlemen, Miss Worthing,” said Miss Jones as she went in search of Miss Wingrave.

“Excuse me, as well.
 
I wish to sit near our parents.
 
I will hold a seat for you, sir,” said Peter.
 
Emily nodded.

“Your sister does not look at all pleased with you,” she said.

Capt. Wingrave sighed, “I told her I would be in Dunbarrow, and of course, she knew your family would be here as well.
 
She came to scold me for persisting in our acquaintance.
 
Alas, I may have forgotten to tell her that Peter accompanied me.”

“What a horrible slip of the mind.
 
You know she hasn’t seen him since he… was captured, don’t you?” asked Emily.

“It is as I planned.
 
How has your day been, Miss Worthing?”

“I find it odd that you keep asking me that question,” said Emily.

“I told you, I am interested in the every day Miss Worthing, as well as one dressed in finery.”
 
Emily sighed.

“In truth, I have been worrying about Bridget,” said Emily.

“And why should you worry about her?”
 
Mr. Annesley interrupted the conversation.

“Miss Emily, if you are not otherwise seated, I would wish you to sit with my mother and I,” he said.

“Thank you very much, Mr. Annesley, but I’ve already promised to sit with my sisters.
 
They want my musical background at hand for their enjoyment.
 
Perhaps next time,” said Emily.

“Very well, Miss Emily.
 
I will see you at intermission,” said Mr. Annesley, and he departed, not at all offended.
 
Capt. Wingrave stared after him in great surprise.
 
Emily could not meet his eyes when he turned back to her for an explanation.

“That is why you worry about Bridget.
 
Edward is making a mistake,” he said.

“It’s very logical, on his part,” she said.

“When logic overruns feeling, we shall become closed off, shall we not?”
 
He echoed her words to perfection.

“Is that any worse than bleeding forever, when love erases logic?” said Emily.

“One is honest.
 
You may not think very much of my principles, but I do choose honesty.
 
The concert is about to begin, shall I escort you to your sisters?”
 
Emily shook her head to clear the teardrops forming in her eyes.

“Tell me the rest of the secret, if you choose honesty, and I will marry you tomorrow,” she whispered, leaning far too close to his face. Emily’s plea stunned Captain Wingrave into silence.
 
At last, she nodded.

“Some love, some honesty.
 
Excuse me, Captain,” she said, walking herself into the concert hall.

Bitterness and flashes of heat ruined Emily’s enjoyment of the music, as Elijah Wingrave took his seat in the row behind hers, next to Peter.
 
At first, the Captain could not take his eyes from Emily.
 
Peter nudged him, noticing the inattention, and Capt. Wingrave split the difference by turning towards the musicians while stealing glances at her.
 
Emily spent the whole of the performance waiting for it to end, trying desperately to focus on the sound and arrangement.
 
At intermission, she did not move, staying in her seat while the rest of her family stretched their legs.
 
Mr. Annesley realized that she was not yet comfortable with his preference in public, and sought to make her at ease.

“Are you tired, Miss Emily?” he inquired after commandeering the seat next to her.
 
Thankfully, Peter had forced Elijah to accompany him in order to avoid Mary, and there were no witnesses close enough to hear their conversation.

“A little, I suppose.
 
It’s been a rather trying week,” said Emily.

“I’m sorry to hear that.
 
Hopefully, your fortunes will improve in the near future,” said Mr. Annesley.

“With all due respect, Mr. Annesley, I doubt it.
 
Your own actions have caused a great deal of the trouble.”
 
He thought over her words.

“You told Miss Bridget then, of my plans?”

“I didn’t have to.
 
She guessed your motives straight away,” said Emily.

“I’m glad we all understand each other then.
 
After the winter, your parents will return to their country estate.
 
Where shall you go?
 
Amberose is always open to you, should you wish to stay in Dunbarrow,” said Mr. Annesley.

“I’m sure I shall go back to Charlton as well.
 
I find the city full of life, but also full of pretension.
 
I think I prefer people stretched out over land rather than crowded into small spaces.”

“Small spaces offer more intimacy,” countered Mr. Annesley.

“And less privacy,” said Emily, cutting off any romantic ideas.
 
Bridget chose to come back to her seat then, though not alone.
 
She had entered the company of Mr. Sharp, and, with both of them having jovial personalities, carried on with him like two birds in a tree, laughing and talking, back and forth.
 
Mr. Annesley was taken aback by her gleeful mood, and that she ignored him as if he were a straw man in a field.
 
Emily grinned to herself.
 
Though Mr. Sharp was not a good candidate for a husband, and did not seem to seek permanent attachments regardless, he did know how to entertain those around him.
 
With Bridget’s quick wit and willingness to laugh, they were the picture of happiness.

“Strong enough,” said Emily under her breath to Mr. Annesley.

“Oh Emily, Mr. Sharp just told me a marvelous story of when he traveled to Tadoros, you must hear it,” said Bridget.
 
Mr. Annesley took his leave, though he did keep looking back at Bridget as he left.
 
Emily allowed Mr. Sharp to tell his story, listened to the rest of the concert, and went home with the satisfaction of Mr. Annesley seeing the consequences of his ill-advised redistribution of affection.

Despite the shaking of his faith that he did the best thing for everyone, Mr. Annesley persisted with his idea of courting Emily, often visiting and asking her for walks.
 
They did become good friends during that time, but still without deeper feelings.
 
Capt. Wingrave and Peter left for Fort Jennings a fortnight after the concert, without any resolution for Emily.
 
Or rather not the resolution she preferred.
 
Elijah did not speak to her personally again before their business concluded.
 
Emily supposed she should take it as a sign, that neither of them would concede.
 
Lady Worthing had often told her that happiness in marriage was based on compromise and trust, which made Emily laugh when applied to herself and Capt. Wingrave.

The sisters, Genevieve as well, took to enjoying the city instead of playing social games.
 
They visited every manner of landmark and museum, bookseller and library.

To Emily’s surprise, Mr. Corey did not call on her again, and expressly avoided her at parties.
 
She wondered if Mr. Annesley had taken the liberty of declaring her out of bounds since he was the heir of the main family.
 
Bridget suffered more by the day when Mr. Annesley did not give up his unsolicited pursuit, as did he when she refused to be sad in his presence.