Property of a Lady Faire (A Secret Histories Novel) (16 page)

“Is that why you told me my parents were dead, for all those years, when you knew they weren’t?” I said.

“That was different,” said the Armourer. “I had to protect you, and them.”

“I know,” I said.

“So many burdens,” said the Armourer. “No wonder I feel tired all the time. But
Anything, for the family.
”

He looked at me, as though waiting for me to repeat the family creed, and when I didn’t he moved on.

“Now, where was I . . . Oh yes! Yes . . . The Lazarus Stone.” His mouth compressed again, as though nursing a bitter taste. “Certain elements within this family acquired the Stone years ago, almost certainly from some highly disreputable source in the Nightside. And yes, Eddie, I know Droods are banned from that awful place by ancient pacts and agreements. If these members of our family had been found out, there would have been all kinds of repercussions. And there’s no telling where the fallout might have ended. There’s never been any shortage of people in this family who would welcome a chance to go to war against the Nightside. Wipe it out completely, once and for all.”

“Why haven’t we?” I said. “I visited the place once, and I loathed everything about it.”

“The Nightside is allowed to maintain its unsavoury existence because it is necessary,” the Armourer said firmly. “It serves a purpose.”

I waited for a while, but he had nothing else to say.

“That’s it?” I said.

“That’s enough,” said the Armourer. “Now, moving on . . . These people, inside the family, went on to form the Zero Tolerance faction, and Manifest Destiny. And I don’t need to remind you how close they came to subverting and taking over the whole damned family. They weren’t above breaking mere rules in the name of a greater cause. They wanted to use the Lazarus Stone to bring back some of our greatest and most successful Droods, from out of the Past. Create an army of heroes and warriors and assassins, to tip the balance in the ongoing war between the Droods and all our many enemies.

“They wanted to win the war forever. No more compromise, no more agreements; they were going to put an end to the war by killing everyone on the other side. And anyone who sided with them. And anyone who just got in the way. The Droods would rule, and to hell with the collateral damage . . .” The Armourer laughed harshly. “Like that was a new idea. If it had really been that simple, the family would have done it long ago. And these people didn’t care about all the changes such disturbances in Time would make to History, because they didn’t like where History had brought them anyway. I have to say, Eddie, I’m not actually convinced any of this is actually possible . . .”

“It could be,” I said. “I have seen History rewritten . . .”

I remembered the Red King, and the Sceneshifters. I was the only person still living who could, because I was there when the severed head of the Red King, preserved and controlled against his wishes, finally woke from his dreaming. The Sceneshifters had been this really secret group who moved things around in the background when people weren’t looking. Rewriting History in small telling ways, to achieve their own ends. But small changes accumulate, and the Sceneshifters weren’t always in control of what happened. Apparently, there used to be pyramids in Scotland. A major tourist attraction. But no one remembers them any more.

The Droods knew about the Sceneshifters, but didn’t believe they were important enough or powerful enough to worry about. I met the Sceneshifters when I was on the run from my family, and I was so appalled at what they were up to that I put a bullet through the Red King’s severed head. He woke up from his long dreaming and he woke up mad, and made the Sceneshifters never happened. I was lucky to get out of there alive. And still real. A cautionary tale . . .

The Armourer waited until he realised I had nothing more to say on the subject, and then he continued with his story.

“You youngsters, you think you invented secrets. Now, this all goes back to when your grandfather Arthur, the Regent, was doing dirty work for the family. They used my father cruelly, and there was nothing I could do . . .”

I leaned forward. I couldn’t help myself. “Do you know who in the family gave the Regent his orders, and chose his targets for him?”

“Are you asking this for yourself?” said the Armourer. “Or for Molly?”

“Does it matter?” I said.

“I suppose not . . . It was mostly the people who went on to create Zero Tolerance. And Mother, of course, as Matriarch, because my father never could say no to her. And make it stick. But as to who ordered the Regent to kill Molly’s parents . . . I couldn’t tell you. I was out of the loop in those days, mostly by my own choice. I could see which way the wind was blowing, and I didn’t want any part in it. I just kept myself busy in the Armoury and kept my head down. Eddie . . . it could have been any of a dozen people, most of whom are dead now anyway. Does it really matter? The family gave the order, so the family must take responsibility.”

The Armourer paused, and looked at me thoughtfully. “And Molly’s parents did have it coming, Eddie. Your Molly made quite a name for herself, back in the day, as a supernatural terrorist . . . But all of that was nothing compared to some of the things her parents did, in the name of the White Horse Faction. They put the terror in terrorism . . . They had to be stopped.”

“Are you going to tell Molly that, or should I?” I said.

“Probably best if nobody does,” said the Armourer. “Better for all concerned . . . Anyway, when your grandfather finally realised he was just being used, and walked away from his family for the second time, he took a number of useful things with him. Partly to punish the family, partly to help fund his new organisation. And one of the things he took . . . was the Lazarus Stone. Because he didn’t trust what the Zero Tolerance people might do with it.

“There was a hell of a row in the family, afterwards, when they discovered the Stone was gone. But by the time they’d worked out who’d taken it, your grandfather had already made himself into the Regent of Shadows, a man of influence and power in his own right. And the Matriarch wasn’t ready to go to war with him over a few missing items. The Zero Tolerance people couldn’t explain how important the Stone was without revealing their own intentions . . . And then, of course, a lot of things happened, which you know very well because you were there for most of them, and the Lazarus Stone . . . was forgotten. I knew Father had it, because I helped him steal it. You must understand, Eddie—the Regent didn’t take the Stone because he wanted to use it; he just didn’t want anyone else to use it.”

I looked at him steadily. We’d finally got to the point I’d been dreading.

“You do know what’s happened, Uncle Jack . . . at the Department of Uncanny?”

“Of course I know,” he said. “All hell’s breaking loose up in the War Room, though no one’s decided what to do yet. Yes, Eddie, I know. They told me as soon as the news came in. My father is dead. Finally dead for real, lost to us all. It’s been a hard few years for me, Eddie. First I lost my brother James, and then my mother, the Matriarch, and now my father. And my son, Timothy, of course, but then . . . he was lost to me years ago. Still, the family endures. The family goes on. That’s what they teach us, and it is a comfort, I suppose.” He looked at me sharply. “You were there, Eddie. How were they able to kill the Regent? He had Kayleigh’s Eye! I gave it to him before he left, to keep him safe!”

“Somebody took it from him,” I said. “Ripped it right out of his chest. How is that even possible, Uncle Jack?”

“I don’t know,” said the Armourer. “Nothing magical or high tech could even touch it . . . Brute force, maybe. Do you know who, or what, was able to destroy the whole Department of Uncanny?”

“No,” I said. “It was all over by the time Molly and I got there. No evidence left anywhere, to point a finger.”

“The family thinks you did it.”

“What?”

I started to get up, but the Armourer gestured sharply for me to sit down again.

“I don’t believe a word of it,” he said. “And neither will they, once they’ve calmed down a bit. But apparently you and Molly were seen fleeing the scene after the massacre. And it’s not just the family. The word is out everywhere that you’re responsible. That Molly took her revenge on the Regent for the killing of her parents, and the two of you wiped out everyone else when they tried to stop you.”

“That’s not what happened!” I said.

“I know,” said the Armourer. “I wasn’t born yesterday! But mostly, everyone else wants your blood for this. Pretty much every organisation in our line of work is on the lookout for you two.” The Armourer scowled briefly. “This is all so well organised, you’d think someone arranged it . . . I can turn the family around, but it’s going to take time. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather drop this mission of yours, just for now, so you can beg the family’s forgiveness and accept their protection? For Molly’s sake, as well as yours?”

“I can’t,” I said. “And if you knew why, you wouldn’t want me to.”

“Oh,” said the Armourer, nodding wisely. “One of those cases, eh? But, Eddie, how were they able to get to the Regent? Do you know?”

“Grandfather left me a final message,” I said. “It seems there was a traitor inside the Department, who lowered all the shields and let the enemy in. He didn’t know who. They were there for the Lazarus Stone. But I have reason to believe the Regent didn’t have it.”

“Of course not,” said the Armourer. “He gave it to James, long ago.”

“What?”
I said.

The Armourer winced. “Please stop doing that, Eddie. It goes right through me. Now, where was I . . . Oh yes. You have to remember, Eddie, that while I was in touch with your grandfather on and off through the years, it all had to be very much under the radar. The family couldn’t know. For my safety, and yours, and your parents’. So a lot happened that I only heard about later, after the fact. The Regent gave the Lazarus Stone to your uncle James, because James asked him for it. And James . . . gave the Stone to the Lady Faire.”

“What?”

“Eddie, either you keep the volume down or I will plunge you into a bath of industrial-strength tranquiliser! We don’t want the rest of the family coming down here to see what’s going on. Do we?”

“But he gave it away? To the Lady Faire? Why would he do that?”

“Because there’s no fool like an old fool,” said the Armourer. “James had an affair with the Lady, perhaps because he was getting on and needed one more chance to play his legend. To be the illustrious Grey Fox . . . To prove to himself that he wasn’t getting
old
. Other people buy a Porsche . . . You do know who and what the Lady Faire is, Eddie?”

“Not really,” I admitted. “Just rumours. You do hear things, out in the field, whether you want to or not. Isn’t she supposed to be . . . well, the ultimate courtesan?”

“The Lady Faire is much more than that,” the Armourer said sternly. “The Lady Faire is a ladything. You know, like a ladyboy, only even more so. Oh, do try to keep up, Eddie—we’re both a bit old for me to be explaining the birds and bees to you. The Lady Faire is an omnisexual, the ultimate sexual object. All things to all people, and indeed, all people to all things . . .”

“I have no idea what that means,” I said.

“You’ve led a sheltered life, haven’t you, boy?” said the Armourer. “We used to get out a lot more, when I was a field agent. It was expected of us. You could learn a hell of a lot more through pillow talk than through burgling an office . . . Look, the Lady Faire is . . . Oh well, we might as well use the term . . .
She
’s not male or female, but a combination of both. A whole that is supposed to be far greater than the sum of its parts. If you’ll pardon the expression. She’s beautiful, bewitching, irresistible—the ultimate honey trap. You know, seduce them, wring all their secrets out of them, and then throw them to the wolves. The Lady Faire is every love and lover you ever dreamed of, especially the ones where you wake up screaming, in a cold sweat. One of the Baron Frankenstein’s more inventive creations, when he was getting old, and a bit kinky.”

“Did you ever meet her?” I said, fascinated despite myself.

“Just the once. Years ago, when I was working a case in Los Angeles with your uncle James. He introduced me to the Lady Faire at a Hollywood party. Every star and diva you can think of was there, but no one had eyes for anyone but the Lady Faire. I have to say, I was a bit creeped out by her, myself. Her magic doesn’t work on everyone, you know. There is such a thing as too sweet . . . But it was obvious to me even then that James was smitten with her. So, years later, he decides he’s in love with her, and gives her the Lazarus Stone. Because she said she needed it to get her out of a bind. Don’t ask me what that was all about. James never told me. I’m not even sure he got all the details from the Lady Faire . . .

“Of course, the family never knew anything of this. They would not have approved. They’ve made a hell of a lot of allowances for James, down the years, because he was the Grey Fox, the greatest field agent we ever had. But an affair with the Lady Faire? That would definitely have been a step too far. Anyway, according to what James finally told me, the Stone was only supposed to be on loan. A temporary gift. But, love is blind . . . James never saw the Lazarus Stone again.

“And then he died . . . After that, I had too many other things to worry about, and I just forgot about the Stone. Until you reminded me. To the best of my knowledge the Lady Faire still has it. Far as I know, she’s never used it. Though, of course, how could I be sure? How could anyone?”

“Does anyone else know she has the Stone?”

“I don’t see how. But information has a way of getting out.”

“I have to get hold of the Lazarus Stone,” I said. “And no, I can’t tell you why. Are you positive the Lady still has it?”

“Oh yes,” said the Armourer. “I’d definitely have heard if it had turned up with someone else. The family does like to keep a close eye on all the Major Players. Though it has to be said, the Lady Faire is semi-retired these days. Keeps people off her back by threatening to publish her memoirs. In fact . . . she’s just sent out the invitations to her annual Ball, a get-together for all her lovers and friends. Past, present, and future. No address given, no date or time; you either know where and how to find her, or you don’t deserve to get in. And at the moment the family doesn’t know.”