Protect and Serve (14 page)

He felt himself getting hot. Back then, he’d had his first instincts to kill, along with a desire to protect Penny so that no one ever hurt her like that again. It shocked him how prevalent those desires still were.

Penny looked up at him, and he found himself trapped in the bold, round copper pools of her eyes. “C-Money,” was all she said.

Jason vaguely remembered him, the drug dealer and pimp who’d gotten Carla strung-out on the crack. He’d only seen him a couple of times, and he’d been a boy then. He remembered enough about the man to know he did indeed favor Gerald.

“Do you know his real name?”

“No, I don’t.” Penny was still rubbing her fingers lightly across her scar. “I’ve tried to block that scumbag from my memory.” She glanced at him and self-consciously removed her hand from her eye. She sighed.

He wanted to tell her that the little fraction of a scar did nothing to take away from her beauty. He wanted to tell her that he’d never let scum like C-Money get near her to hurt her again. He wanted to tell her he would always protect her. But he knew he couldn’t keep those kinds of promises to her anymore. She was about to go back to Los Angeles. And he wouldn’t be able to protect her when she left.

“Well, the nickname is something to go on, at least, and I think I’m going to go back down to the precinct and see if I can find out some more information. I don’t think your mother is going to talk. But if you think you can get her to talk, try. She doesn’t have to be afraid of him anymore.”

As much as it killed him to think he wouldn’t end the evening with Penny wrapped in his arms, he knew he had to make headway on this case. If C-Money were the attacker, he wouldn’t be allowed to hurt Penny again.

Carla hated stress. She never could handle it, and yet it always seemed to follow her around. She had no idea how C-Money knew to show up every single time she had seen Gerald. The jerk must have been watching her like a hawk. She hated feeling like the scared little mouse. The last thing she even wanted to think about was what he was going to do when he found out that Gerald was at the hospital and the house. He probably already knew.

Granted, she should have never started seeing C-Money in the first place. Her life had pretty much gone downhill from there.

That’s karma for you, Carla. Start screwing your man’s archenemy and the universe will start screwing you
.

She needed a cigarette. Well, she needed more than that…but a stogie would help take down the edge a little, while she tried to think her way out of this mess.

Maybe Gerald would have one. Then he’d be good for something.

Carla rolled her eyes as she thought Gerald was good for a lot of things. That was the problem.

She got up from her bed, put on her robe and went downstairs. Her entire body ached, and she thought about taking one of those painkillers. The doctor said as long as she was careful she should be fine. Given the way her life was going, she didn’t want to risk it.

Truth be told, she still hadn’t come to grips with the fact that her mama was gone. And adding a daughter who couldn’t seem to stand her and two ex-boyfriends with serious issues to the mix made her a candidate for drug therapy, if ever there was one.

Gerald was sitting in the front room watching the news.

She cleared her throat. “Hey, you got a cigarette you can loan me?”

Gerald took out his pack of cigarettes and handed it to her. “Loan you? You gonna give it back after you done?”

“Ha, ha, ha, very funny.” Carla looked at the pack and turned up her nose. “Light? What kind of crap is this? Since when you started smoking lights? You might as well not even bother with these.”

“Beggars can’t be choosers,” Gerald offered wryly. “And I’m cutting back.”

“Mmm. Whatever. I guess this’ll have to do.” She took one out of the pack and sat down next to him on the sofa. “Dang, I need to go find an ashtray.”

Gerald placed his hand on her knee. “Sit back, relax. Just tell me where to look and I’ll go get you one.”

“There should be some clean ones in the back of the top kitchen cabinet, over the fridge. We haven’t used them in years. Mama didn’t allow smoking in the house after Daddy died.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

Carla watched him exit the room and took a deep breath.

Jail had made the man finer, if that was possible. His tall, muscular frame did all kinds of things to her libido. And it didn’t help that she had the new memories of making love to him in his room to add to her old feelings. Plus, he was being so nice, so tender, so sweet, so understanding. So
Gerald
.

He came back and sat down beside her, placing the ashtray on the coffee table in front of them.

Carla put the cigarette in her mouth. And before she could reach for some matches, he lit it for her.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

“No. I mean thanks for everything. For staying at the hospital, and staying here with me and stuff. I do appreciate it, even if I don’t always act like it.”

He nodded and turned his attention back toward the television.

She took a long pull and exhaled. If she could just figure out how to get Penny to let her move to Los Angeles, Carla knew things would be fine. Fine, except she wouldn’t feel Gerald’s touch again. She crossed her legs and leaned back.

Gerald let out a deep sigh and turned off the television. He turned to her with an irritated expression on his face.

“What? What’s wrong with you?” Here she was trying to be nice to the man and he wanted to cop an attitude. That’s why she should have kept being mean to him.

Men are such a trip. Treat them bad and they can’t get enough of you. Treat them nice and they give you their behinds to kiss
.

“I just…I just can’t believe you’re not going to tell me who did this to you. And then you keep pushing me away like it’s nothing. Like
I’m
nothing. Like we didn’t mean anything to each other. Carla…I let you do that when I was in jail ’cause I figured maybe it was for the best. I mean, it wasn’t like I could do anything for you in jail. But I’m not gonna let you do that now.”

“
Let me?
Hmph.” Carla finished her cigarette and put it out before standing up. “You’re not the boss of me. I can do whatever I want. And I can take care of my own problems. I’ve been doing it for a long time.”

“Is that how you got hooked on crack? Handling your own problems by taking them to the pipe?” The edge in his voice let her know he’d had his fill of being nice to her. The kid gloves had come off with a vengeance.

“That’s low, Gerald.”

His eyes narrowed, and he harrumphed. “No. Low is me finding out my girl is out on the streets, whoring for the man who might have set me up.”

Carla swallowed and sat back on the sofa. “I wasn’t—”

“You wasn’t? You wasn’t? You sure you want to keep on lying? Ain’t that going against one of your twelve steps?”

Her heart started beating double time in her chest. Gerald knew about her and C-Money, and he was still trying to be with her. The sheer thought of it blew her away. She would never in a million years have considered that he could find out about her transgressions and still love her. That was why she’d thought she had to keep it a secret. She hadn’t wanted Gerald to know she had sunk so low.

“If I didn’t know C-Money was in jail for selling that crack he got you hooked on, I would know who did this to you. But it couldn’t have been him. So who was it? Did he have one of his thugs beat you up?”

Carla tried to think of a reason, any reason, why she shouldn’t tell Gerald the truth. The battle between those two had been a long time coming, and honestly, she was tired of being a casualty of their dang war. Hell, she was nobody’s dang collateral damage, and neither was her child.

“Can I have another cigarette?”

Gerald handed her the pack but he still had that stern expression on his face. Even in his obvious anger, he still lit her smoke and patiently waited for her to open up.

“C-Money ain’t in jail. And for the record, I didn’t want to get involved with him when you got locked up for murder. Let’s just say he made it hard for a girl to say no.” She took a long drag.

The expression on Gerald’s face would have stopped anyone in his or her tracks. She had never seen him so angry.

“He did this to you?”

She shrugged. “He doesn’t like it when you come around.”

“You still messing with him?” His voice choked a little, as his anger turned to hurt.

She wished she could take it all away. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Gerald.

“Not by choice.”

Gerald closed his eyes and clenched his hands so tightly the brown of his knuckles appeared almost white. He snarled, “I’m gonna kill him.”

“Then you really will be a murderer, and you’ll go back to jail.”

“If he was the man who set me up, the man who then started seeing my woman and made her stop me from seeing even a picture of my daughter, then he’s the man who stole my life from me, and he has to pay.”

“So, you just gonna let him steal the rest of your life, too?”

“You don’t understand!”

“Oh, I understand perfectly. It’s a man thing, and you want to continue your little pissing contest. All I ask is that you let me and my child get out of the line of fire this time. Help me talk Brat into moving me to Los Angeles with her as soon as possible. ’Cause, honestly, he came at me this time, but he said he might just be coming for her next. Who knows what he’ll do when he sees I didn’t heed his warning and stay away from you?”

Gerald leaped up from the seat and paced the floor like a caged bear.

Carla put out her second cigarette and reached for another. They were lights, after all, and she reasoned it would take at least three or four to give her the kick she needed to really plot her way out of the C-Money mess.

But if she got Gerald to work with her, then she could get herself and Penny out of there and safe. That was the only thing that really mattered now.

She smoked the third cigarette and watched him pace. Each step his long legs took back and forth around the small room seemed to have an impact on some part of her body. The first go-round made her nipples stand at attention. The second caused moisture to pool between her legs. And then he’d pause and stare at her for a few seconds before stalking around again. She fanned her neck and put out her fourth cigarette before standing up and walking over to him.

She put her hand on his chest.

Rock. Solid. Muscle.

She moved her hand to his tender, caring face.

“You can help me, Gerald. You can help me by getting Brat and me out of danger.” She stood on her toes. Her hand trailed to the back of his neck and pulled his head down so his face was directly in front of hers. She let all of her feelings show. Her fear for her child’s life…her love for her child’s father…all of it.

She needed to barter those feelings for the bigger picture.

Gerald must have believed her eyes, because his started to tear up. She used her hand to wipe away the ones that made their way down his face. She placed her hand in his and led him to her bedroom.

P
eeved? Funky? Irritated?
Those words about summed up the reasons Penny was in the kitchen glaring at her mother and twisting her lips in disgust. She tried to tell herself it wasn’t because she’d come home and found her parents in bed together clearly postcoital, when she’d had to go to bed all alone.

She wanted to believe she wasn’t so small-minded that she’d resent that her mother had gotten some loving last night.

Really, she had no business wanting to share a bed with Jason Hightower again anyway, did she?

And then there was Carla, all bruised and battered but bouncing around the kitchen like a happy hummingbird, cooking breakfast as if she’d done it all her life.

“Since when did you turn into Betty Crocker?” Penny stood in front of the coffeemaker and willed it to drip just a little bit faster. She needed lots of caffeine to deal with her mother this morning, especially if her suspicions about who’d beaten Carla were true.

Because, when it was all said and done, if Carla was protecting C-Money…the man who’d given Penny the scar on her eye…she didn’t know how she’d deal with that.

“What do you mean? I could always cook breakfast. Don’t you remember those little happy face chocolate chip pancakes I used to make you when you were a little girl?”

“Nope.” Penny rolled her eyes and decided to move the coffeepot and let her mug fill up instead of waiting. Once she had a full cup, she replaced the pot and sat down at the kitchen table.

Carla had stopped stirring whatever she was making and turned to glare at Penny with her hands on her hips.

“Your food is going to burn up. You better watch that pot.” Penny scooped a little sugar into her coffee and added a touch of cream before taking a sip.

Yes, that’s what I need
.

Carla pursed her lips and turned back to her pots. “I’m making eggs, grits and corned beef hash. There’s gonna be plenty, so I hope you’re hungry.”

“I don’t do red meat. And for some reason, the older I get, eggs don’t agree with me anymore. I’ll just make some toast or something, thanks.”

Carla sucked her teeth. “You just don’t want none ’cause I made it, Brat.”

“That’s not true.”
But I do like living…
Penny couldn’t remember Carla ever cooking, and frankly, she wasn’t in a hurry to be the taste-test dummy for Carla’s little kitchen experiment. “I’m not really a breakfast person.”

“Mmm hmm. Whatever, Brat! I remember the way you used to dig into Mama’s biscuits, ham, eggs and gravy.”

“Are you making biscuits, ham, eggs and gravy?”

Carla turned and narrowed her eyes. Then she took a deep breath and plastered a fake smile on her face. “I’m just saying, I cooked breakfast ’cause I wanted to show you I can carry my weight and stuff if you let me come out to Cali with you. You should at least taste some.”

Oh, brother. Not this again
.

Penny decided to ignore Carla. How many times could she possibly tell her mother it wasn’t going to happen? What was it going to take to get the woman to see that?

Carla literally bounced as she turned off the stove and came to sit at the table with Penny. Her eyes looked overly bright, and when she spoke again, her voice got really high and extremely chipper.

“You know, your daddy and I were talking last night, and he agrees it would be best for me to go out to L.A. with you as soon as possible, like yesterday, at least until this situation blows over. You know, with me being assaulted and all that.”

My
daddy?
Is she for real? Ignore her. She’s not all there. You can still love your mother without buying into her craziness
.

Penny got up and refilled her coffee.

Carla got up, too. “I’ll just fix you a plate so you can taste—”

“I don’t want any. I’m going to have toast. Thanks anyway.”

“Brat, when are you gonna get that chip off your shoulder, huh? I mean, you act like you the only person in the world who might have had a less-than-ideal childhood. You turned out fine. Suck it up and deal. Shoot. Some people had it way worse than you. I’m just asking you to help me out this one time, dang!”

Penny arched her eyebrow and started to head for the door.

Carla grabbed Penny’s arm and held on. “Just listen to me, Penny. You could at least listen.”

It was too much, way too much, especially if C-Money was still in Carla’s life. Penny felt the heat rise from her neck to the ends of her sisterlocks.

Carla had some nerve.

“I could at least listen? Why? Why, Carla? Why should I listen to you? It’s not going to change anything. Why are you treating me like I owe you something, huh? Yes, you gave me life. Thank you. Does that mean I have to take over where your own mother left off?”

Carla slapped her and she took a step back with tears in her eyes.

Penny’s eyes widened, and her hand went to her stinging cheek. It felt as if her chest had exploded as all of the past hurts came flooding to the surface. She took a deep breath. Her hand traveled up her face and landed on her scar.

“How could you, Carla? What made you think it was okay to leave your own daughter for a man? Not just any man, but a man who slapped a child down on the pavement because she accidentally stepped on his freaking sneakers! And you chose him, Carla. I heard Big Mama tell you that if you were going to keep bringing him around here then you would have to leave. And you left. You left me for him!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Brat. You weren’t—”

“I remember everything, Carla. I remember C-Money slapping me. Sitting in the emergency room with Big Mama. Getting stitches. I look in the mirror every day, and this little scar reminds me that my own mother choose a man over me. You chose C-Money, and now you won’t even tell the police he was the one who beat you up. Because it
was
him. Wasn’t it, Carla? Wasn’t it?”

Penny didn’t like the sound of her voice. It sounded shrill, harsh and ugly to her ears, but she couldn’t stop.

“Is that true, Carla? Did he hit her and leave a scar? You let him hit our daughter, and you stayed with him?”

Penny turned and saw Gerald standing in the doorway. The expression on his face appeared to be a mixture of horror, disappointment and hurt. His anger-laced voice was a far cry from the happy-go-lucky tone she’d heard the past couple of days.

Carla let go of Penny’s arm and wrapped her arms around herself. She looked so vulnerable in that moment, Penny wished she could take it all back. But it had all happened just the way she’d said it did. And she needed Carla to say something about why she’d made the decisions she had.

Carla’s eyes narrowed, and her chin lifted up defiantly.

“Is it true?” Gerald’s voice was shaking with anger.

Carla closed her eyes, then she opened them and glared at Penny. “You don’t know the full story, Brat!”

“So why don’t you tell me the full story? Better yet, why don’t you tell me why you’re still protecting that man? I know he was the one who beat you up. Why won’t you press charges? Why won’t you talk to the police?” Penny tried to keep her voice level and calm, but it was impossible. The more she thought about it, the more upset she became.

Gerald seemed stuck in the same spot. He hadn’t moved from the doorway, and he still had a stunned look on his face.

Penny almost felt sorry for him. But the sooner he realized Carla was only looking out for Carla, the better for him. It might hurt a little now, but he’d be saving himself from a world of hurt later. Penny knew about hurt firsthand. She knew because, in spite of all her history with the woman, she felt a sharp pain in her heart at the fact that Carla was
still
protecting C-Money. She was still putting C-Money before everyone else.

Carla’s eyes shifted from side to side. Tears welled up in her eyes as she narrowed them, first on Penny and then on Gerald. “Neither one of you can sit there and judge me. I’m doing the best I can. I did the best I could.” She glared at Gerald. “You weren’t there. So you don’t get to point the finger now. If you had been there, none of it would have happened!” She stormed past Gerald and went running out of the room.

Classic Carla. Blame the rest of the world for your mistakes
! Penny wiped her eyes and sat down at the kitchen table. This was way more drama than she had coffee for.

Dumbstruck, Gerald continued to stand in the doorway.

“You better sit down before you fall down. You look like you could use a seat.” Penny took a sip of her coffee and leaned back in her chair.

She hadn’t wanted to get into a full-blown battle with Carla. She had just wanted to find out if C-Money was the person who’d beaten Carla. And she still hadn’t gotten her mother to confirm he was the one. Carla hadn’t admitted a thing.

Dang!

Gerald pulled out a chair and sat down.

For a while, neither of them said a word, which was fine with Penny. She had filled her ghetto-drama quota for the year, as far as she was concerned. She needed to get on the first plane to Los Angeles.

Carla was right about one thing; Penny could handle everything else via phone. And whatever she couldn’t handle that way, Carla could take care of. Because Penny knew she wasn’t going to let Carla move to Los Angeles.

If her mother was still messing around with C-Money, then what other bad habits was she holding on to? Maybe it was really time for the two of them to finally go their separate ways for good.

The only thing stopping her from making the call to the travel agent was Jason. Oddly, a few days ago he would have been the last person she wanted to come face-to-face with. But now…

Now what? You still can’t have anything with him. It’s too late. Take your memories and your behind back to L.A
.

She sighed.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that as a kid. Carla was right. If I had—”

Oh, brother.

Penny had to cut the man off. Someone had to help him. It might as well be her. “You didn’t make Carla start seeing C-Money. You didn’t make C-Money hit Carla and me. And you didn’t make Carla choose him over her own child. It’s
not
your fault. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“C-Money was my enemy. We had a beef before I went to jail. We always had a rivalry. He went after Carla to get to me.”

Penny exhaled. “Even if that is true, Carla is a grown woman. She was a grown woman when she made the decision to leave me and Big Mama to go with him. He got her hooked on crack, and she’s still protecting him. He might have come here the day Big Mama died. You can’t tell me the shock of that didn’t send her into a stroke. And Carla is still protecting him! He came in here, and he could have killed her. And she’s still—” Penny took a big, heaping breath and wiped her face. Despite her resolve to remain calm, more tears were falling.

She’d thought she was long over shedding tears about her mother’s rejection and neglect. But Carla clearly could still get to her. At least in the past she’d had Big Mama.

Now Big Mama was gone, and C-Money’s evil ugly mug might have been the last face she’d seen.

Gerald slid his chair over and placed his arm around her.

She tried to maintain her distance at first, but soon found herself placing her head on his shoulder and letting her tears run their course. She’d done more crying in the past three days than she’d done in a long time.

“I know Carla didn’t make the decisions we would have wanted her to make, darling. But neither one of us had to walk in her shoes. I still love her. And I love you more than my own life. I want you both safe. And the only way I can see for that to happen is for the both of you to go out to your place in Los Angeles until either the cops get C-Money or I do.” As he patted her head and held her close, Gerald’s voice maintained an eerie calm.

Penny looked up at him and saw that a stark determination had replaced his earlier stunned expression. Now she was the one stuck on stupid and waiting to get dumber. How in the world did Carla manage to get everyone to come over to Crazyville with her?

The doorbell rang, and Penny wasted no time getting up to answer it. She’d never thought she would be as happy to see Jason as she was at that moment. She needed someone sane to talk to.

“Hey.” Jason stepped in the door and pulled her into his arms. “What happened? Why are you crying?”

Penny tried to pull away and wipe her face, but Jason held her tight.

“What happened?” he repeated.

“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m just having a little misunderstanding with the folks.”

Gosh, that sounds like high school. I’ve got to get out of this Twilight Zone version of my life.

Carla came down the stairs, fully dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. “Brat! You called the cops?” she whined as she stamped her slipper-clad foot on the ground.

Penny rolled her eyes. “No, I did not call the police. But you’re going to tell Jason everything he needs to know about what C-Money did to you. We need his full name—”

“I’ve found out his full name, and I’ve already been in touch with his parole officer to get a lead on where he is. What I need Carla to do is to tell me if Clyde Markum is the man who attacked her. And if he is, she needs to file a formal complaint and press charges.”

Jason kept his arm around Penny as he spoke to Carla. Penny felt uneasy about how good it felt to be in his arms and how much she found herself wanting to stay there forever. She barely moved. It felt too good, too right.

Carla stomped her foot again in frustration. “I can’t press charges against him. Brat, why can’t we just go?”

Penny threw up her arms as she pulled away from Jason and walked toward Carla. “Why can’t you do the right thing for once, Carla? Please.”

“I’m trying to do the right thing. Honest. I am.”

Jason walked over to Carla and put his hand on her shoulder. “The right thing is to help the police put a criminal back behind bars.”