Protected (Book 1 in the Ariya Adams trilogy) (28 page)

“We have to
keep this quiet. Ariya, if the Protectors want to know what happened, don’t mention that part, okay? You got the key away from Devon and I was able to come kill him. Do you understand? This is important.” James was speaking to me urgently.

“Yes, yes
, I understand. Why would it get me in trouble with the Protectors though?” I would think they would want to know, but James looked extremely concerned.

“We don’t know how many people are on our side anymore. If Emma teamed up with the werewolves and we didn’t know
, we have no way of knowing who else might be involved with them, too. I’d rather not tell anyone, just in case that message gets back to the wrong people. If they knew they didn’t need to wait on a child, they might act quicker. Whoever ‘they’ is.”

We were all in agreement. Nothing would be mentioned of Devon coming back to life. We were also going to wait a day before James went to Emma. In the meantime, Caroline and Nick would go tell the guards watching her that I had died. They wouldn’t say it to her
, so she wouldn’t have reason to get suspicious, but they knew she would be listening and overhear the words. Hopefully she would get arrogant before James showed up, thinking everything was going according to her plan.

Caroline and Nick walked out and I was left in James’ bedroom
, alone with him. It was not something I thought would have been allowed to happen since he had tried to be strict on the Protector – Protectee relationship guidelines. I can’t imagine being in his bedroom alone was being safe. He had come to sit back down next to me.

“You should get some more rest
, Ariya.”

“James, I’m fine. I feel completely
healthy, like nothing happened.”

It was true. I did feel good. I felt confident
, just as I had earlier that semester when Caroline had helped me.

“I have the same feeling that I had from Caroline’s blood the first time I had it.”

James smiled, smugly. “It wasn’t Caroline’s blood this time.”

I looked at him quizzically. “Well then
, whose was it?”

“It was mine.” My jaw dropped.

“But, you said our blood couldn’t ever mix.”

“You were dying and I had to take a chance. I fed you my blood
, but you didn’t wake up. I was so worried I had done something wrong, but I didn’t know what other choice I had. I picked you up and carried you back here. Then we all just waited for you to wake up.”

I wasn’t sure what to say. James had
betrayed everything he believed in to save my life.

“Thank you,
” I said, meekly.

“
Thank you” didn’t begin to cover it. Whether it was his job or not, he came running into that warehouse with no idea what he’d be getting into, and he never once looked afraid – except for a small moment when he couldn’t get through the bars to me quickly enough.

“I couldn’t let you die.” He had been looking down
, but when he said that, he raised his eyes to meet mine.

“James, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess things up
. I just…I just couldn’t let her go after the people I…people I care about.“ I started to say people I love, but thought this wouldn’t be the best time for that conversation, since I was sure now more than ever James was hell-bent on being a strict Protector.

How could I try and explain that he gave me the strength to
fight? I respected and admired him. I wanted to tell him that, but he interrupted, speaking up before I had a chance to start my rambling again.

“Ariya, I know what you thought you
were doing, but it’s not your job to protect us. We can take care of you and ourselves.” He sighed and put his forehead against mine.

My heart
beat sped up, which I know he heard. He hesitated in the movement he was making and shadows crossed his face as if he was thinking about something. Then he looked back towards the window.

The vampire blood had made me confident
, just as it had before when I had resolved to ask him to be my partner at Halloween, even though he beat me to it. That was before I had even known he was a vampire. I had been a goner then, and now add in that he was willing to risk his own life for mine, how could I not fall for him?

“James,
” I whispered and leaned over from where I was sitting.

He had saved my life. I
didn’t want to play this round-about game anymore, pretending we didn’t feel anything. Stolen moments of weakness weren’t enough for me any longer. It couldn’t be enough for him, either, not after everything that had happened. I had learned life could change in a moment and I wanted to cherish everything.

I grabbed his shirt and pulled into him to kiss him. He didn’t pause for a second. His hands were in my hair immediately. It wasn’t like the
other kisses we had, slow and passionate. It was hungry. He had been scared and now we were safe. I thought he would break away, but he didn’t. Instead, he began to adjust me so that I was lying down. He pulled my legs down further so that my head was resting on the pillow. Not once did he break from my lips in the process of adjusting me.

“At least I can p
retend you’re resting like this,” he whispered and went right back to kissing me.

I don’t know what had changed in him
, but I didn’t want him to stop. My whole body needed him. I felt like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest. I pushed myself into him as hard as I could, eliciting a groan out of him. Smiling uncontrollably, I wrapped my arms around his neck. His mouth was causing flames to lick at my body and I was overwhelmed with the need for him to be closer. I shifted slightly to wiggle underneath him, but he wasn’t budging.

“Ariya
,” he said, softly, almost hesitantly.

“Don’t you dare fini
sh that with ‘we can’t do this.’”

He chuckled and pulled back a bit. “I don’t think
I can be your friend anymore.”

He was looking at me intensely and moved his hand to trace his fingers along my jaw line. He stroked my cheek with his
thumb. I closed my eyes and breathed him in.

“Why’s that?” I asked feeling embarrassed for a second that my voice was coming out so shaky.

His face turned serious. “Ariya, as a Protector, we have a dull constant fear in us when our protected is in danger. There have been times where that has happened to me before, with other members of the line. I feel fear, but then I can get into action and figure things out quickly without getting overly emotional about the situation. It’s what we are trained to do. We analyze and act. It’s almost as if we are machines.”

“
When we came out of the theater and couldn’t pick up a scent or a trail to even begin to find you, it was crippling. It wasn’t the same fear I’d had before. I think the thing Devon and especially Emma least expected was for me to call for help. My father, he’s extremely well known.  I’ve told you about our strained relationship. I don’t tell many people that my grandfather was one of the original Protectors and that’s why the three of us, my grandfather, father, and I have always been so powerful. My father has instilled a strong sense of duty in me, because his father instilled it in him.”

“
Calling him and admitting any kind of defeat is unacceptable, punishable. I didn’t hesitate, though. I wanted everyone here, everyone helping. I’ve never felt that before. It’s not because I’m supposed to be protecting you. It’s because after watching over you, and being around you the past few years, I can’t bear to think about even one day that you’re not there. It’s not because you’re my job, it’s because I need you. That’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever said to someone, because it isn’t fair with everything else on your plate, but there it is. I don’t care anymore about duty and the rules that I’ve lived by. I stayed away and it didn’t keep you safe. So now, if you’ll have me, I’ll just keep you as close as possible.”

My heart was bursting
, and the expression of his feelings had taken me completely by surprise. I didn’t think it was possible that this would actually be discussed again. It was not what I was expecting after everything we had just been through. He was gorgeous, both inside and out, kind, protective, and as angry as he made me, he had my welfare so high on his list that he was willing to push the things he wanted aside to do what he thought was right. I had tears in my eyes.

“Sorry, emotions.” He smiled
and stroked my hair back again.

I loved the feeling of his hands running through my hair.
With everything going on and even knowing that Emma was still alive, he made me feel safe and sound. He was everything I needed and I didn’t care about duty, either.

“Honestly
, James, do you have to ask if I’ll have you?”

He smiled and leaned in to kiss me again. He pulled me close into his chest and my body involuntarily shuddered against his. His lips were so soft and I pressed into him. His hand moved to my lower back drawing me in so close I thought our bodies were going to meld together. He rolled up on top of me and I threw
my arms around his neck again. My breathing was getting embarrassingly heavy now and I hoped he didn’t think I was a weirdo.

His hand traveled up the length of my leg and I
rocked my hips up into him. When he wrapped his hand around my waist right at my hipbone, I thought I might pass out from the excitement. He broke the kiss, which was when I noticed that his breathing was also coming out ragged. At least I wasn’t alone.

“Ariya, you have to rest.” He spoke as if it took all h
is will power to stop himself.

The trance I had been in broke for a moment when a thought came into my head about James mentioning he
had done something punishable.

“What did you mean when you said punishable? Calling your father was punishable. Are you in danger?”

That made him a laugh. A full out, beautiful sounding laugh that I hadn’t heard in months, and it made my heart ache with joy at the sound of it.

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

Whatever was going to happen with Emma and the werewolves, at this moment I was content. I could care less about the outside world. Nothing could steal this moment from me. James looked away for a moment and smiled to himself.

“Wh
at is that for?” I questioned. It was a smile, but it seemed sad.

“I was thinking about when my mother died.” He paused before looking at me again. “When my mother died
, my father shut down. She was a human, too. I don’t think I told you that. Werewolves had taken her, and that was a death sentence, so he barely had to look for her before we received a sign from them that she was killed. I turned my sadness into anger, he turned his into despair. I went to my grandfather and told him my father, in his state, couldn’t protect someone as well as I could. My grandfather turned me. I received all my training from my grandfather. My father and I, we would scream at each other if we had to be in the same room. I couldn’t understand how he could let his emotions get in the way of his life work and he couldn’t understand why I was so angry all the time.”

“What made you think of that?” Pouring out his feelings for me didn’t seem like the kind
of trigger for a sad memory.

“I’d never been in love when my mother died. Anger was easy. If I was
a Protector, I could kill the werewolves and maybe find out who’d killed her. My father clearly loved my mother very much, so his response was different. I’m surprised I didn’t get yelled at for letting my emotions get in the way with you. Well, I should say did not get yelled at
yet
.” He smiled, looking at me like I was up on some sort of pedestal, which blew my mind.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Did that mean James thought he loved me? I looked down at the pillow I was laying on. It felt like the story he told was more for
himself to talk about than for me to answer.

“Now please
, just pretend that you’ll sleep for a bit. It’s only 4 am.” He spoke up when I hadn’t said anything.

“I’m not tired, I promise.” I fought back
, grabbing his shirt to try and pick up where we had left off moments before. He chuckled at my attempts.

“Your body is tired. Let
it rest, Ariya. I won’t leave you.”

I would pretend if I had to just to keep him there. I pulled the blanket up closer to my chin and lay there while James pushed my hair back
, over and over.

My body was tired
. He was right. The pain was long gone, but lying there on the pillow, I realized that even vampire blood couldn’t take away the fact that I needed rest emotionally. With our meeting with Emma coming up, I knew I would be stressed again, and I could use a couple more hours’ sleep before anything happened.

James’ hands felt so good comforting me. Sleep started
slowly coming. I blinked a couple times, but my eyes were getting heavier.

James was here.
I was safe.

I smiled to myself and drifted more and more until the rhythm of James’ hand in my hair
lulled me into a comfortable, peaceful sleep.