Pulse: A Stepbrother Romance (13 page)

Life was a blur.

A majestic, happy blur.

After the talk with Leah, I threw myself into the music with even more dedication than before. Every spare moment spent either with my face buried in my laptop and headphones on, or else with Kevin and the other musicians learning more about musical theory and using their advice and suggestions. I’d taken to even bringing the laptop to work and using breaks to make progress.

Reconnecting with them spawned other benefits, such as having a bona fide vocalist to work with. Liana was a true siren, her voice perfect for a lilting hook and to draw people in. Not only that, but she was a skilled songwriter and could hit on the emotions and feelings I wanted to evoke with each song.

For the first time since I dreamed of becoming a big DJ, it didn’t seem like an impossible struggle I had to face on my own.

I owed it all to Leah. Since she came to my apartment and dug me out of my funk, we spent more time together, both with her friends and alone. The sexual tension was ever present, but we grew used to it and could rise above it, having real conversations and growing a true friendship.

To an outsider, it might even have looked like a close relationship between two siblings. Leah listened to my music and gave me her thoughts and opinions, and I treasured those even above the feedback from the musicians. I was her go-to partner to run lines with, which happened with increasing frequency as the opening date for the play drew closer and closer.

It was a real partnership, but it drove me crazy. To have her so close all the time, yet unable to touch her was a constant tease. Every time our hands brushed, a jolt rushed through me. It was addictive, and I chased every opportunity for those incidental contacts.

When things threatened to take a turn toward the inappropriate, one or both of us pumped the breaks and walked away. It was an unspoken agreement between us—we didn’t belong together, but we couldn’t stay apart. If the day came where neither of us could keep our wits about us, we were in trouble.

This drop comes in too hard and straightforward. I need to play with the bass line to get it melded better. Violin would go perfect here. Maybe I could get Kevin to record a little piece for me.

I spent my lunch breaks in the breakroom as usual, but I didn’t shoot the shit with the crew like I used to. With my laptop set up in the corner and my headphones, I couldn’t hear anything else but the music. I distanced myself from the crew without coming out and saying it. There just wasn’t time with all the hanging out and working with Leah and the musician group.

The response had been incredulity, at first. No one left the crew unless it was via the morgue. It had never happened before. We were tight—brothers for life. We had each other’s backs.

I’d already broken the creed when Recker had been shot beside me and I hadn’t run after the thugs who did it or try to get them back. They might have forgiven it as a temporary lapse in judgment, if nothing else had changed.

But that wasn’t the end of it; once Leah came into my life, I let myself be drawn further and further away. I didn’t even feel bad about it—I knew the crew was the symbol of stagnation in my life, a chain around my neck that wouldn’t let me climb out of gutter until I cast it off.

If only I didn’t have to work with the guys every day.

A rough shove into my back caught me off guard, and I nearly slammed my head into my laptop screen before I recovered. I half-turned in my seat and glared at Derek’s back as he walked by.

A part of me wanted to rip off my headphones and bellow a challenge. It’s what I would have done if someone did that a few months ago.

My fuse had gotten longer, tempered by more logic. Derek surrounded himself with the crew, guys who would back him up no matter what. None of them would stand with me against their ringleader even if they felt a little bad about the treatment I’d been getting.

Instead I turned back to my work, not letting their pettiness stand in the way of putting the finishing touches on the latest track.

I played it back and leaned back with my eyes closed. There was only one thing missing.

Definitely needs violin.

Exposure to real musicians had broadened my mind to the endless possibilities that opened up when real instruments were an option for a track. Just like vocals added a whole other layer that helped to pull everything together, a well-used instrumental hook could take a song from good to great.

Satisfied, I put away my things and went back out to the floor, not bothering to look toward what I knew would be the sullen expressions on the men who thought I’d betrayed them.

The shift passed quickly, my mind only half paying attention to the work at hand. The other half danced with melodies, bass lines, and a certain face and the expression I thought I’d see on it when I showed her my latest.

Is it any wonder I don’t feel fulfilled in a job where I can barely pay attention and still finish all my work, no problem?

I had a few more crates to move than anyone else. I’d told JJ that I didn’t mind taking on more work, although I didn’t tell him it was so I could leave after everyone else and not have to deal with their coldness while packing up. True to form, JJ didn’t offer to pay me for the extra time—if I volunteered to do more work, that was my problem.

Sweet silence greeted me when I stopped in to the breakroom to grab my bag. I stopped short.

It wasn’t on its hook.

I scanned the rest of the rack, and with everyone else gone and only a few other things hanging up, it was easy to see that the bag was nowhere to be found.

Dread filled my stomach, hot and uncomfortable.

“Where’s my bag?” I muttered under my breath. Everything else in it was replaceable, but it held my laptop and on it, my music.

I walked into the front office. “JJ, have you seen my…”

Outside the window was a wide parking lot. I walked up to the door, hoping that I didn’t see what I thought I saw.

Broken glass. Twisted shards of metal. Fractured pieces of circuit cards.

And the tattered remnants of my backpack, fluttering in the breeze.

“Sorry, lad,” JJ said, standing beside me and looking out into the parking lot. “I didn’t know what they were doing until it was too late.”

The strangeness of hearing actual concern from JJ barely registered through the mental shock that stuffed my head and puffed it up like it would burst.

“It had everything,” I said, as if JJ would know what I was talking about. “And it’s all gone.”

I’d heard of data recovery techs salvaging information from broken laptops, but this wasn’t broken.

It was destroyed.

“Oh, my God.”

“I don’t even know what to do now,” Chris said. “I feel lost. I haven’t transferred anything off the laptop in a month or two. All the latest tracks I’ve created, all of my best work—it’s gone.”

He looked defeated. It reminded me of when he’d first gotten the feedback from Kevin.

“Hey, now,” I said, trying to comfort him. “It’ll be all right. This just means you’ll have a blank slate to create something new. Something even better than what you had before. You have free license to make something truly unique now.”

“It’s not just that, although the music is a huge part of it.” He set his jaw. “Those bastards have crossed a line. If they’re willing to do something like that, then who knows what else they’ll do? I need to show them I won’t take this lying down.”

That was a dangerous train of thought. Over the past month Chris had opened up, and I knew that his old group of friends were the reason he was involved in all the wrong things when we met.

“Hey, don’t go doing something stupid,” I said. “Yes, they were tools and destroyed your property. But it’s because they’re jealous of you. They know that you are bettering yourself, and it makes them scared. If you can do it, then they have no excuse. You’ve taken their two-dimensional world and shown them there’s a whole other dimension they’ve never paid attention to until now.”

“I guess so.” He sighed. “I’m sorry to bring you down with all of this. You have more than enough going on yourself. The play is in a couple of weeks, you must be excited. How is everyone else doing?”

I’d told him my biggest fears—that the rest of the cast wasn’t up to the challenge of John’s script.

“They’re doing better. The extra time I’ve put in with the weakest links has been paying off. They’ve been stronger during rehearsals, and I’m thinking that we might pull this off.”

“That’s great to hear!” He smiled and put his hand on my knee like it was nothing.

The contact sent a shot of pure heat straight up my leg and to my core. A shiver ran through me, but I tried not to let it show. Even after all this time, it was hard to control myself. All I wanted were his hands all over me, touching and caressing my curves, gripping me, dominating me.

I needed to get my mind off of things.

“How do you like working with Liana? She’s a sweet girl, isn’t she?”

Chris narrowed his eyes as if he knew what I was up to. “I suppose so. She has a great voice. The lyrics we’re working on will take my songs to the next level. If I break out, I’ll owe a lot to her. And Kevin and Sean and the rest of the group.”

I pressed on. “You two must spend a lot of time together to record the tracks, don’t you?”

“A decent amount. Less than you’d think.” He leaned back and tilted his head. “How are things between you and David?”

Busted.

He did that a lot. Turned the tables on me. It was frustrating, almost like I almost imagined having a brother would be like.

“He’s been trying to get me to agree to be exclusive even though I’m not seeing anyone else right now, anyway.”

David. A relationship with him would make sense. More sense than with Chris. It should have been a match made in heaven and given us everything we wanted.

“And? Are you going to do it?” Chris’ hand was still on my knee, delivering a steady supply of heat. The fire in his eyes was like the sun—it was difficult to stare directly at them.

“I don’t know,” I said as if I hadn’t decided yet. “He’s got a lot going for him. It wouldn’t surprise me if he ended up being the most successful guy from our year. He’s got a lot of talent.”

So much talent. In fact, Tyra had asked me why I wasn’t running lines with David instead of Chris. It would have made a lot more sense, but then I wouldn’t have gotten to spend so much time with my stepbrother. In fact, I spent more time with Chris than with anyone else, but it never seemed like it was enough.

“Besides,” I said, “I’ve only had time to go on a few dates, so we haven’t even slept together yet.”

I froze. I hadn’t meant to say that. From comments Chris had made here and there, I knew he assumed David and I had been screwing each other silly.

It didn’t faze him. Noticeably.

“Sounds like a good match. Although if both of you become big stars and are always off filming, would a relationship even last through that?” He said it as though it were just an innocent question. The way his ear twitched meant that he was waiting intently for my reply, I’d learned that much about him.

“I doubt it,” I said. “And we’re so young. If we dated, I wouldn’t expect it to last forever.”

Chris relaxed back into his seat a little.

“I have a surprise for you,” I announced into the silence that followed.

He raised an eyebrow. “A surprise? Am I going to like this surprise?”

“I hope so.” It had taken a lot of work and inquiry for me to arrange it, and I wasn’t sure how he would react. “I know it’ll be good for you, anyway.”

“Good for me? Are you going to tell me what this is all about?”

I shook my head and grinned. “I wanted you to be thinking about it. It’s been driving me crazy trying to keep it a secret, so I wanted you to suffer right along with me.”

“Have I ever told you you’re crazy?” he said. “Why don’t you just tell me?”

“I’m not one hundred percent sure it’ll come through, but it’s looking like it will. It would be even worse if I got your hopes up for no reason!”

He growled. I loved it when I made him do that. “Hopes up for what? Dammit, Leah!”

I thought he would pounce on me, and I waited with bated breath. If he jumped me right now, I didn’t think I could pull away. Not this time.

His entire body was tensed, and his eyes held mine. I couldn’t help it—I bit my lip.

“Fuck!” he yelled as he exploded out of his seat and walked away.

I let out the breath I was holding in a big shuddering gasp.

I need to ask Tyra where she bought Dudley.

I needed relief from the fire that consumed me, and if I didn’t get it from Chris then I’d have to turn to a stand-in.