Pulse: BBW Contemporary Rock Star Romance (38 page)

"You don't know me, Bastian."

They arrived at his home. It was a dreadful, broken down place; if a human being could be encapsulated by a home, this house would most definitely belong to Bastian. Ava could see his weakness in the shutter barely hanging on the wall. She could smell the fruity decay of his scent in the dried food of his kitchen. She could see the sadness of his soul in the weeping willow overlooking his cottage.

"Well this is my place. Come on in."

As Ava stepped through the place she found herself capable of the most magical stirring in her heart. The home, even though this was the first time she had seen it, seemed altogether familiar, warm, and comforting. Bastian, for the first time, looked her in the eyes.

"I can see your sadness and loneliness," Bastian said.

Ava could not meet his gaze.

"You used to cry yourself asleep at night, because you felt no one was there for you. Your parents have given you up for dead. Your supposed friends are moving on with their lives, having children, marrying the love of their lives, going on picnics, with sandwiches and apples. But you--you're all alone."

"How can you know this much?"

"Because I love you Ava. I'm your soul mate. I can see past your exterior, into your soul, and I know you're hurting. But what I want you to know is that I'm hurting too. I'm sad too. And that means you're not alone."

Ava, for the first time in her life, looked inward. She could see her emotional organs rearranging, and her entire life suddenly came into focus. She had seen Julian at face value and taken that as all there was to him. The fullness of a personality--its ugliness and prickliness--almost never shows itself on the first impression.

Ava took a second look at Bastian. His appearance was changing. His pock marked skin was slowly clearing up. His drooping eyes started coming back to life. His feeble posture righted itself. He was transforming. Bastian beamed.

"It's working!"

"What's working?"

"The curse cast on me by my brother is lifting. Julian said the only way it could be broken was if I could find someone to love me."

By now, like a photography coming into focus, Bastian's body was that of a completely different person. What remained was a man with dirty blond hair, brown eyes, and a large strong head. His skin was dark tanned but clean. His hands were long but beautiful. His calves bulged from his legs, and his feet were shaped like that of a French model. Youthful was his appearance, the direct opposite of his prior state of affairs. His lips were full and rosy. He placed a single kiss on Ava's lips. A warm tingling sensation radiated from her mouth out to the rest of her body, not just her nether regions this time. Her soul took a few steps into deeper waters, and she felt more whole and complete than she could remember. All the sadness and separateness melted away, and she was home.

She stared at him, dazed and mesmerized, and he went over and got down on one knee, and laid his head on her knees, completely still. Ava was numb and shocked, and looked down at his beautiful hair on the back of his head, feeling his face pressing her thighs. In all her burning anxiety, she needed to feel the softness of his face on her hears and the tenderness of his lips.

And he looked up at her, locking her gaze with his doe-like eyes. Her heart called out to him. From her soul flowed the protective, everlasting yearning over him, and she answered him with permanent loyalty. He was without a doubt a very nervous lover, trembling as if he'd never made love before, completely focused on her, but at the same time, painfully aware of his surroundings--the warmth of the fire by their bed, the soft rocking of its frame, the howling of the wolves in the forest, the soft and purring wind, and even all the stars in the sky, twinkling softly with harmonious permission. She could meet him only partway at this point. Once he knew that he lay quiet and calm, very calm. She placed her hand softly on his head. Peace.

CHAPTER VII

The bedroom was quiet, save the soft, crisp crackle of the fireplace. A moose peered into the window of Bastian's cabin, where he lay on his bed with his one eternal love. Ava looked up at him.

"Are you a warlock?"

"What would you think if I said yes?"

"Do you have any powers?"

"I used to, before my brother placed a hex on me."

"How did it happen in the first place, if you were both equal in power?"

"I'm not sneaky like him. And power corrodes your soul."

"I mean, why didn't you fight him?"

Bastian stopped. "I guess I was ashamed of my kind. I thought maybe I could ignore it and pretend I was normal, and then everything would be okay. Now it's obvious that that's not true. Maybe I should just be more cautious about how I use my powers."

Ava thought for a second. "Would you be able to take him if he showed up right now?"

"Maybe..."

There was a moment of silence before a loud knock shook the front door of Bastian's cabin. Ava stole a glance at her lover, whose eyes were glowing with the golden spirit of a lion. She looked down at her thigh, where she found a dark blue mark in the shape of a bite. The mark burned ice-cold, and Bastian got up from the bed…

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EXCERPT

The door opened slightly and Stetson was standing there, large and hulking and mountainous. Stetson stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. He was wearing a blue work shirt, long-sleeve with a sweat-soaked bandana around his neck. He took his black hat off and laid it on the night stand.

He stopped for a second.

“I'm sorry. Don't tell my brother what I did please. Nobody knows about me,” Carter said.

“Carter I don't trust people. I lost my lady to another guy. She was the only lady I ever knew. I been burned too many times. Don't you dare burn me too.”

“What have I done?” Carter said, panicked.

“Nothing yet.”

“I'm sorry I did that. I just couldn't help it.” Carter tried to go on but Stetson stopped him. He grabbed Carter's hand and placed it on his package, large and bulging through his jeans. His hand was practically on fire, and Carter himself was near the point of having a heart attack at this point.

“What do you mean man?” Carter was shaking. Stetson locked eyes with Carter and kept them locked while he unbuttoned his teal-colored dress shirt. He breathed through his nose in soft, consistent intervals. Stetson's torso was massive even when he sat on Carter's twin bed, his chest folded over onto his stomach, leaving a small roll of the smallest amount of fat as he bent over to pull Carter's shirt off. Then he got up and locked the bedroom door. Things were about to get serious.

“I thought you were straight.” Stetson ignored him as he sat back on the bed. He looked away from Carter for a second, and it was clear to Carter that Stetson was having second thoughts. Carter's fantasy had become reality and it was all about to fall apart. Even though this was practically the scariest moment of Carter's life, next to the incident with the Nash-Gibson gang, he could see that his own nervousness was getting the best of him and if he didn't act now, it would be too late. It was time to man up and take charge of the situation, or he'd miss the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have sex with a straight guy who'd never been with a man.

“Look,” Carter said, putting his hand on Stetson's massive shoulder. “I like you. It's okay. You don't have to be afraid. This is our business, nobody else's.”

It occurred to Carter that maybe Stetson suffered from a loneliness he couldn't escape with women. Ultimately no one truly knows why they do the things they do, and Carter wasn't willing to dig too deeply for fear it would ruin the moment. Whatever it was that made Stetson accept his advances, Carter wasn't complaining. He wanted more.

He put his face close to Stetson, and he could smell in one strong breath the wildness of the forest in which Stetson hunted, the muskiness of the rain he's worked shirtless in during summers in the mountains to build a house for his ailing father, and the free air that blew across Stetson when he rode horseback to fuck his girlfriend for the first time on a camping trip. Carter placed his lips on Stetson's neck and he could feel the thumping of his heart in his chest, a strong, hardy beat you would find only from the best stock. Carter felt the chaotic energy coiled up inside Stetson's body, ready to explode at any moment. It was the most erotic moment of his life.

He rubbed his face against Stetson's, who let him, giving Carter no indication he wanted him to stop. He tasted his lips and then chin and then his suprasternal notch. The deep and strong collarbone lay a few millimeters underneath the soft, smooth skin.

Suddenly Stetson exploded with a fiery passion Carter surely didn't expect. He grabbed Carter by the chest and lay him down on the bed, groping his hands over his waist, while making out with Carter. He put his tongue in Carter's mouth, sliding it down into his throat, filling him up for a moment. Carter enjoyed the fullness. But he wanted Stetson inside him.

After a few seconds of making out, it seemed to Carter like Stetson didn't know what to do next. Carter wanted Stetson inside of him badly but didn't know how to approach the idea of anal sex. For the second time, he stifled his fear about how this guy would react to him and just took off his pants and got on all fours, presenting him to the guy for the taking. Carter faced away from Stetson for a few seconds and wouldn't dare turn around for fear of how the cowboy would react. He prayed to get the reaction he expected. Then he heard the sound a belt unbuckling and pants slipping onto the floor. The bed shook a little as Stetson got on the bed, and Carter's heartbeat sped up even more. Suddenly he could feel the thickness of Stetson's cock around the rim of his ass, tickling him ever so slightly. He heard Stetson spit and suddenly, too suddenly, he felt an immense pressure and pain as Stetson entered him. He never had a chance to see the size of Stetson's member before they began having intercourse, but if the physical sensation was any indication, it was massive.

The sex was painful, no lie, but after a while things got immensely better. He could feel the hardness of Stetson's muscles on his back as the cowboy kept pumping away. Carter felt for the first time in over a year that same pleasing wholeness and contentedness he felt with Maddox. But how could keep this going with Stetson?

Carter wanted to see him, look him in the eye, as they made love.

“Hang on,” Carter said under his breath.

Stetson stopped and pulled out of him. Carter flipped himself around and saw for the first time the man naked in his fully glory. His thighs were thick as tree trunks with hair in all the places. His waist was small but not overly so, and surprisingly, his knees were without a doubt the most beautiful part of his body, next to his hands. Stetson seemed a little embarrassed by Carter's eyes roaming over his body.