Punishing Me (Shaft on Tour #6) (12 page)

Understandably,
every one of us is on edge.

By
the time we got there, Rae had already been rushed to the operating room with
Henry refusing to leave her side. Without being immediate family, the nurse at
the desk is unable to give us much information other than that before showing
us to the waiting room and telling us to stay put.

  
 “They really should include an open bar in the birthing plan,” Hunter says,
rolling his shoulders. “Not even my kid being born and I’m about to ask the
nurse for something to take the edge off.”

“Neither
booze, or blowjobs, are included in the hospital’s plan of treatment, Hunter,”
Chase giggles, slapping his arm.

“It’s
a girl,” Henry’s voice booms from the doorway, capturing everyone’s attention
at once. “Apparently, Jazzie told Rae all girls should be named after princess
or super heroes. We named her Kara,” he says, smiling fondly. “After
Supergirl.”

It’s
like a stampede. Everyone in our group is on their feet and surrounding Big Man
before he can even step inside the room. Aiden, Grayson, and Hunter nearly
tackle him to the ground in their excitement and the girls are all sobbing,
emotional messes.

“What
are the Docs sayin’?” I ask, interrupting the happy moment with the harsh
reality that we aren’t out of the woods yet.

Henry’s
eyes meet mine, stress radiating off his broad shoulders in waves. “They’re
monitoring Rae, making sure her vitals are all stabilized now that she has given
birth. As for Kara,” he breathes, scrubbing a hand over his face. “They’re running
tests in the nursery. She’s stable; so the blinds are open, if—”

Even
if Big Man had bothered to finish his sentence, the words would have fallen on
deaf ears, consumed by baby fever. It’s a free for all to the nursery. I swear
you would think none of these assholes have ever seen a baby before. The tiny
baby lying on the blanket covered table as doctors check all her over, and do
whatever it is that they do, is like a shiny new toy to the girls. They giggle
and whisper to each other, no doubt planning to buy out Amazon’s entire infant
girl’s department as soon as we get home.

“I’m
a father,” Henry whispers beside me, so quietly, I think I am the only one who
catches it. A smile spreads across his face as he stares at his daughter.
“Never,” he whispers again, chuckling as he shakes his head in disbelief.
“Never thought I’d be standin’ here, saying that shit. Didn’t think I deserved
something so sweet for myself in this life.”

His
words surprise me. Henry isn’t the type of guy to go spouting off emotional
shit like this. He is a commanding force, though a man of few words. He doesn’t
need them to get his point across. But, here he is, on the verge of tears, all
because of a tiny human who can’t possibly weigh five pounds.

“Sometimes,
life throws some monumental sized curve balls,” I say, clapping him on the
back.

“Listen,
Dominick,” Henry begins, his eyes full of regret as he studies my face.

“I
get it,” I stop him, not needing him to apologize for his reaction. Holding up
my hand, I shake my head. “We’re good.”

“You
may think you get it,” he laughs, “but you don’t. Not yet, anyway. Love makes
you do crazy shit. You’ll find yourself desperate to become better because she
deserves every ounce of good you never knew existed inside yourself.” He shakes
his head, chuckling. “Then, beat a friend, a trusted brother’s face in, all
because it was easier than facing the fear and worry of losing the reason your
heart beats.”

Funny
how he thinks I don’t already know this shit…

“Love
requires sacrifice.”

“Yes,
I couldn’t have said it better myself.” Bowing his head, his eyes close
tightly. “Being that we’re on the same page about that, I know you understand
why I’ll be sending you out with the band for the last leg of the tour,
Dominick,” he explains, his voice low. “I can’t leave my girls, not when they
need me most.”

The
baby fever chatter around us dies instantly. “We leave in three days, Big Man,”
Aiden says, skeptically. “We would need two more for security detail, not just
one to replace Jared. Not to mention, without you, who drives the Big Bitch?”

“Unravel
your granny panties, Aiden,” Hunter says, slapping his brother in the back of
the head. “We all knew Henry wasn’t going back on tour with us once the baby
came. I’d give my left nut to have been able to be with Jazz from day one. Big
Man belongs here.”

It’s
no secret Hunter struggled with guilt when a child he had no idea existed was basically
dumped on his doorstep by a woman who never deserved to reproduce in the first
place. Every day since, whether he is physically with her, or not, Hunter
spoils his princess rotten. With Chase stepping in and adopting Jazzie as her
own, from day one, Jasmine has the family she has always wanted, but that
doesn’t mean Hunter doesn’t still feel some guilt about the life she had before
coming here.

“Consider
it paternity leave,” Camaron agrees, nodding her head. “We can nail down
details in the morning. Go take care of Rae and see your baby,” she says, squeezing
his arm. “Mack and I are perfectly capable of handling anything that can’t wait
until then.”

After
we all say goodbye to Henry, I get everyone down to the ‘Burban and head for
the house. The craziness of the day whirls through my mind. Part of me wants to
climb on top of the ‘Burban and have one of those climatic moments of
realization where it all sinks in and becomes real. Arms stretched wide,
thunder and lightning surrounding me, as I accept my new position of power.

You
know, do it up badass like Batman or Captain America would do…

The
other parts of me, the ones who win out, are trying to get a grip. The weight
of responsibility on the head of security is a load to bear on any given day.
On tour, multiply that shit by a hundred. As I have seen, situations can change
fast. You have to be able to think quickly and anticipate anything and everything.

“I
can do this. I can do this,” I repeat inside my head, pumping myself up.

This
is my chance to prove myself. The opportunity I have been waiting for to show
everyone, especially myself, that I have what it takes.

I
will not be wasting it.

The
drive to the house is filled with everyone’s collective chatter. Camaron is on
the phone, rattling off orders to someone, while Chase and Daisy are already
making a baby ‘to buy’ list that will no doubt have Amazon re-thinking that
whole free two-day shipping with Prime bullshit. The guys, of course, are
giving me shit. As usual.

“You
realize his head’s gonna swell up so big no one will be able to stand in the same
room as him,” Gray laughs, smacking the back of my seat.

“I
have no reservations at all about this,” Hunter says, straightening in his
seat.

“Thanks,
man,” I reply, glancing over at him quickly. “That means a lot.”

“Cam?
You said the last leg of the tour was all gay bars, right?” he laughs, glancing
at her in the rearview mirror. “Did we book any senior’s halls? I’m trying to
anticipate whether groupie pussy will be a problem for the Big Mack and his
Whopper.”

Everyone
laughs, even Cam, who ends up having to tell whoever she is nagging at that she
will call them back tomorrow morning. Aiden even manages to loosen up, just as
we pull up at the house, mentioning how we should see if Red Lobster wants to
sponsor the tour with crab bites.

“Fuckin’
crabs,” I mutter under my breath before laughing myself. Those little bastards
are evil. To this day, no matter how tired I am, I still check every inch of my
damn bed before even sitting on it. Can’t take any chances around here.

Safely
behind the gates, everyone disburses the minute we are inside the house. It got
late quick. I’ve been in contact with Mike over the last few hours, checking
in, but I gotta agree with Henry when he says it feels good to have everyone
under this roof.

“Thanks,
Mike,” I say, the minute he steps into the foyer. “Everything good?”

“Yep,”
he nods, blowing out a breath. “Kids are in the den with Ireland. So, Big Man
has himself a little girl?” he laughs, shaking his head. “Can’t wait to see how
he handles another woman tellin’ him what to do.”

I
nod. Clapping him on the back, I head for the hallway to check things for
myself. “I have no doubt his big ass is helplessly wrapped around her tiny
little finger already.”

Stepping
inside the den, my eyes land on the sleeping bodies on sprawled out across a
sea of black, tan, and silver floor pillows. The zebra print throw cover they
must have been sharing, Brannon has now completely taken for himself. His face
rests on Ireland’s chest, a peaceful grin on his lips.

“Much
respect,” Hunter says, stepping into the room behind me with Grayson. “Every
man should be so lucky to sleep every night, face down, in a great pair of
tits.”

“Pint
sized pervert,” I laugh, bumping Hunter’s outstretched fist.

“Don’t
hate the player,” Gray defends, shrugging his shoulders. “What can I say, us
Cole men love our boobs.”

“How
do you think she’s gonna handle you bein’ the one with all the power on tour?”
Hunter asks, with a laugh. “That chick is the president and founder of the ‘I
hate Dominick’ fan club.”

“You
don’t know the half of it,” I mutter, rolling my eyes.

“Just
sayin’, man, she ran Jared out on a fuckin’ rail. The girl’s full of vinegar.”

“You
leave Ireland to me.” Walking over, I lift Brannon into my arms. He wiggles,
shifting his face, no doubt searching for Ireland’s chest. “Here, take your
little nocturnal can cuddler up to bed.”

Gray
laughs. Taking Bran from my arms, he heads out of the room. Hunter scoops
Jazzie up, tossing her partly on his shoulder. Instantly, her arms and legs
wrap around him, her eyes squinting open to meet mine. “Where’s the baby?” she
asks, yawning sleepily. “I wanted to show her the picture I made.”

“Still
at the hospital,” Hunter says, heading out of the room. “We can take it to
her.”

Ireland
stirs, wincing almost uneasily, but she doesn’t wake up. Taking a knee, I bend
down and brush the hair from her forehead. Her face relaxes again, something I
haven’t seen much of since she came back into my life. Long black lashes fan
out over her nearly flawless skin, hiding the blue eyes that have always had
the power to stop me in my tracks.

Everything
about this woman has both sucked me in, and driven me nuts since the moment I
walked into that damn community center and first saw her. I hated my life,
hated who I was, and everyone around me just for existing. The worst thing of
it all is that I hated Ireland for thinking she could see something in me I
knew couldn’t possibly be there.

Exchange of Power

Ireland

Sitting
at the table, the next morning, I sip my coffee. Being that I fell asleep
extremely early, while watching videos with the kids last night, I was up
before the sun wondering when the hell I had turned into an old woman who can’t
stay up past nine. Between phone calls, Camaron fills me in on Rae’s condition
and how baby Kara is doing this morning as well.

Then
she drops a bomb on me.

“Dominick
will be taking Henry’s spot on the tour, effective immediately,” she says, her
fingers typing away on her laptop screen.

“Say
that again?” I ask, leaning up in my chair and opening my eyes wide. You know,
because that means I can hear better.

“That’s
right,” Hunter says, strolling in the room with a pate full of bacon. “Henry
has given all power over to Mack. Crazy, huh?” Sitting down, he rubs his hands
together. “I’ve been up all night plotting my plan of attack. The list is long,
my friends.” He places slices of bacon next to the eggs on Jazzie’s plate.
Leaning over, he kisses the top of her head. “Eat up, kiddo. You still aren’t
dressed for school.”

“Mack
will still report in to Henry on a daily basis. Their communication has always
been a vital part of why things work so well here,” Cam continues, her focus
still on her laptop screen. “Though, ultimately, it will be Dominick on the
road, making the decisions for the security team while Henry takes over the home
base. Henry made the announcement last night, and of course, we support his decision
to be here to take care of Rae and Kara one hundred percent.”

Scooping
the bacon off her plate, Jasmine drops to her feet. “I’m done, Daddy.” Hunter
nods, telling her to go ahead and get ready for school before continuing to
shovel bacon into his mouth like it’s the air he breathes.

Grabbing
my knife, I slice my whole wheat bagel and smear it with my own personal Vegan
hazelnut spread. After listening to the girls talk about some Nutella
cheesecake they had the other day while shopping, resulting in them buying jars
of the stuff to dip pretzels, cookies, and sometimes even their fingers in, I
decided to do my research. After some time with my favorite cooking companion,
Google, I learned that all I needed was the right mix of cocoa powder, hazelnut
butter, and sugar or the right low calorie sweetener.

One
online order to the grocery store, and a delivery later, I got to mixing.

The
girls are right, it’s like crack.

Even
if I guarantee mine is way better than the overly processed jars they buy.

Hunter
chomps into a fist full of bacon, his lips smacking together as he over
appreciates every bite of the meaty crime scene on the dinner platter he calls
a plate. “Jesus,” Chase groans, walking into the room and taking the seat
Jazzie vacated. “That serving size on the back of the package is more than just
a suggestion, honey.”

“Wrong,”
he says, holding up his index finger. “I have a theory.”

“Oh
dear Lord,” I mutter, taking a bite of my bagel. “We are about to be
Cunterized.”

“Told
you,” he smiles brightly. “I’m writing a book, damn you; I’ve been researching
tons of shit. Now,” he says, lacing his fingers and cracking his knuckles. “The
average one-pound package of bacon contains sixteen slices. Of that, sixteen
slices the serving suggestion,” he laughs, shaking his head, “is two. I repeat:
Two!” he shouts, laughing like it is the most insane number on the face of the
planet. “Go to any diner, on any given day, and order bacon, bet your perky
little ass you get more than two pieces of fried porky perfection on your plate.”
Holding up a piece, he studies it before shoving it into his mouth. “Oscar
motherfuckin’ Mayer, himself, does not package sixteen slices in a
non-resealable package if he did not intend them all to be enjoyed together.”

“You
realize that Oscar Mayer isn’t some immortal being like Santa Claus or the
Easter Bunny. The man is long dead and now it’s just a face and a company,” I say,
cocking my head to the side.

A
crash echoes throughout the house, stopping the conversation immediately,
followed by a shouting. “What in the hell is going on around here?” Aiden asks,
flying into the room, nearly colliding with Jasmine and a crazy, barking Bits
as they dive under the table. “No bombs go off in the Shaft house until after
coffee,” he says, walking over and grabbing Cam’s cup, downing the contents.

“What
the actual fuck?” Dominick shouts, slamming through the doorway like a bull in
a china shop. His chest is heaving. My eyes move down his bare, colorfully
tattooed chest and arms, a trail of red hair starting just below his tight
abdominal muscles and disappearing down into low-slung red and black sweat
pants. My brain starts to overheat and short circuit. The idea of tracing those
lines with my fingers, then my mouth, and tongue, have me ready to rub his against
leg and purr like a cat in heat.

“Who
the fuck put the kid up to this shit?” he shouts, snapping me out of
fantasizing about fucking him speechless on the dining room table.

Without
the audience of course…

Since
it would be rude to continue staring at the happy trail I want to dig my nails
into while I ride his face, I look up and my jaw nearly detaches and falls off.

“Dude,
did you get into a fight with the Lawnmower Man?” Hunter laughs, collapsing
backwards into the wall.

“I
woke up to Jazz jackin’ up my hair with a pair of fucking kitchen shears,” he
grounds out, holding up a fist full of the long red locks that were once
attached to his head.

“You
what?” Chase and Hunter say in unison.

“I
get that we pull some crazy shit, but this…” Dominick glares at Hunter. “How
the hell is this funny? I’m in charge and you’re tryin’ to make me look like a
joke out the gate?”

Hunter
straightens, his eyes widening. “Jasmine, come here, now,” he says, sternly.

A
hand grips my ankle under the table. Looking down, I meet brown, tear-stained
eyes. Her bottom lip quivers uncontrollably. “Hey,” I whisper, pushing my chair
out enough to slide into the floor beside her.

Her
eyes cast downward, tears dropping onto her pajama pants and the dark stained
wooden floor. My eyes go to Hunter, immediately, heart broken and concerned.
This isn’t a joke. No way would a prank upset the bubbly little girl to the
point of sadness I see right now.

Hunter
is around the table in seconds, kneeling beside me. “What’s going on, kiddo?”
he asks, his brown eyes filling with concern. “Why did you do that to Mack’s
hair?”

“He
can’t leave me!” she screams, tears streaming down her face. “I took his power
away so he can stay with me.”

“You
took his what?” Chase asks, stepping around the side of the table and stopping
just behind me.

“I
told her my hair held all my power,” Mack says, sounding pained. “Like Rapunzel.
It’s one of her favorite movies, lately.”

“If
Henry gets the power back, Mack doesn’t have to go,” Jazzie explains. “He can
stay and play, and make cookies, and sing with me in the car.”

Tears
burn behind my eyes, emotion lodging in my chest. “She doesn’t want to be
alone,” I whisper. “Loneliness can be so loud sometimes.”

As
if waving a magic wand, it’s as if Jasmine disappears from in front of me.
Replaced with a childhood version of me.

“Please
don’t go,” I beg, gripping my mother’s pants leg. “You promised.”

“Stop
this foolishness, right now, Ireland.” My mother’s tone is stern. Brushing by
me, she fills her bag with papers and folders. “We’ve had a nice dinner; now, I
have to go back to work. Molly’s here to stay with you. She’s even brought you
a present.”

I
hate Molly.

I
also didn’t like Karen, Patty, Marsha, Tina, and Alma, but I definitely don’t
like Molly. She’s mean.

As
soon as you leave me, mommy, she will lock me in my room. She doesn’t like me.
Please don’t leave me…

“I
don’t want a present,” I sniffle, wiping at my face with the sleeve of my red
and green sweater. “I want my mommy.”

“Don’t
be silly,” my mother replies, shaking her head. Stopping, she kneels down and
presses a kiss to the top of my head. “Everyone wants presents on Christmas,
darling.”

Then
my mind fast-forwards to years later, through all the times I wished for
someone to just see me, stopping on a time when I can say I was completely and
totally happy.

Though,
that didn’t last long…

Did
it, Ireland?

The
dull ache in my chest begins to throb in time with my heartbeat. The memories
bring the pain and loneliness of past years to the forefront of my mind. I feel
helpless as memories of Dominick and I play on a loop, unable stop the violent
assault my mind is putting me through.

“Ireland?”
Chase’s voice snaps me back to reality. “You okay?”

“Yeah,
I’m fine.” The words come out of me on a rushed breath. Pushing to my feet, I
turn, meeting her eyes, along with everyone else’s now fixed on me, instead of
Jasmine. Brushing down the front of my shirt, I turn for the doorway. Unable to
help myself, I meet Dominick’s eyes. No longer seeing any anger there should
make me happy, or relieved, but it doesn’t.

“Is
your superpower disappointing those who love you?” I ask, pushing by him. “Oh,
no. Of course not,” I scold myself. “That would make you a monster.”