Pure Will (13 page)

“Lay down, baby.”

She twisted around and her hooded eyes stared up trustingly at me. Plus her nipples were poking the cotton of my shirt. God I’d always loved that softball shirt and now it was my favorite.

“You OK?” I asked.

A simple nod is all she offered until her fingertips ran the length of my chest then over my abs. She seemed obsessed with my abs. I wanted her obsessed with all of me!

“You ready to cave yet…I can get the toy now?” I asked.

She giggled an ornery giggle. “Not even close…” she said twisting the small patch of hair beneath my belly button. “Now kiss me.”

I lowered over her and tenderly pecked her lips holding myself up with my arms. Then I pecked her lips again before touching my tongue to her upper lip. Finally, I melded my mouth to hers. Another first…I loved kissing this girl. Typically, I didn’t kiss at all.  I’d lived a life of—get in, get out, go home.  But I got lost in the way Cam’s mouth moved with mine, our tongues slow dancing together. A series of long, slow kisses unsure where one stopped and one started.

When I rested more of my weight on her, her body arched up to meet mine and once again, she’d turned the tables. Damn it. Challenge accepted.

Our kissing slowed and I nudged her chin up giving me access to the little triangle at the base of her neck. As I treated her neck and collarbone to more kisses, my thumb glided over the top of her breasts. 

“Will…” she groaned and it was hard to kiss her because I was smiling.

Some girls had little feeling in their tits, which sucked for guys who liked to please, but it was obvious that wasn’t the case for Cam.  Simply grazing my thumb over hers sent shudders through her body. I wasn’t going to last. I felt like a 14-year-old boy. I felt like Forrest Gump when Jenny touched him the first time. This was going to suck for her especially if she kept groaning my name.

I lifted her shirt. Meeting these girls was a must. She didn’t stop me or hesitate at all. When I lowered my mouth over one, she squirmed beneath me and literally gasped.

“Oh Will.”

“Hmmm?” I hummed without stopping.

“Please…”

“Please what?” I asked glancing up at her. Her eyes were tightly closed and she shook her head seeming as if she was fighting an internal battle.  She was close to caving. I started on her other breast while my hand swept down her thigh then back up to where her shorts met in the middle. With only very little pressure, I rubbed the material. Her little pelvis arched up to meet my hand.

“Will.”

My eyes widened because she said my name like she required my attention. But then she started unfastening my jeans.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Her beautiful, haloed-green, rounded, innocent eyes focused on mine. “You win. I don’t care. I… want you. Not just more. All of you. Please,” she begged.

Playing dirty, I leaned down and kissed her lips then said, “Just so I’m clear…” then I moved to her right breast and traced my tongue around the top. “You are conceding?” Then I moved to her left breast and did the same.

She nodded. “Yes. I lose,” she whispered.

“That was easier than I thought,” I smiled. “You sure? I wasn’t playing fair sweetheart.”

She only nodded pulling me closer.

As our mouths mingled, my thoughts were spiraling. Decision time. Do I close the deal or just make her happy? I didn’t want this feeling inside to go away…but it had never lasted. Never after sex.

Chapter—Camden

It was finally going to happen after a five-year drought. My chest moved up and down with my quick breaths of anticipation. This man was the strongest yet gentlest man that had ever touched me and I never wanted him to stop.  He made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world…as if it was an honor to touch me. I was still unsure as to how I drew the long stick and he chose me. I wasn’t some girl who felt sorry for herself or pitied herself but I still wasn’t sure I was deserving of his love. But God did I want it…badly.

I knew he saw me as inexperienced…maybe even weak because I didn’t stand up for myself with Max.  If he knew the things Max did, he wouldn’t be happy. But the feeling with Will—well, Max paled in comparison to this.

My fingers raked through his hair as he delicately kissed my breast.  He had given me no indication that he would bite me, but I knew my body was tense worried that he might. I hated when Max did that and once had he made me cry. Max liked to bite. But Will touched me as if it was a mound of cool whip; his tongue tasted it and barely made an indention in the white cream. He was driving me crazy as I writhed beneath him.

“Will…” I said again out loud and I’m not sure why.

He glanced up at me, while his tongue still danced with my breast; watching him do that made every muscle below my waist clench.  That’s when he started making his slow dissent down my stomach to my waistband, slowly inching my shorts off me…baring me…all of me… This was starting to make me think of Max…and I felt sick. I wanted him out of my head completely. But he liked having me naked while he was still dressed. He liked using my body for his pleasure. He liked things that I pretended to like at the time but hated now.  Things that haunted me.  Will wouldn’t do that, I chanted in my head.

His hands caressed my skin, his fingers softly scraped over the flesh on my backside. With his middle finger, he traced down my outer thigh, around my knee then back up the inside of my thigh, stopping shy of the one place I wanted him to touch. The one leg that was bent at the knee, I allowed to fall to the bed, an unspoken invitation. For the first time in five years, a finger was inside me, and it wasn’t my own or a toy.

“God baby…” he whispered and my eyes shot open. He stared up at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You feel incredible. I want to go down on you, OK?”

He was asking my permission? Wow… I nodded.

He kissed his way down my body and when his mouth lowered to me, I cried out with the pleasure he provided. I don’t know if it had been the amount of time, or that it was the way I felt about Will…but I knew that I would be there in no time. I kept my muscles clenched because I didn’t want him venturing lower like Max did. That was the worst.

“W…will…”I panted as the sensation built. I’d never climaxed with anyone. Max got mad because I couldn’t or wouldn’t, but I think now I was too anxious thinking he would hurt me. So that’s when I started pretending with Max. And now as I neared the edge with Will, I was so excited for this to happen. Yet, I still braced myself knowing that’s when Max would slap my butt or my thigh or worse yet…bite me.  God, the feeling was incredible. A storm building in the pit of my groin. I’d done this so many times to myself but Will…he was so good. He knew perfectly what to do and as I imagined his tongue…oh….

“Don’t bite me,” I said desperately as waves of pleasure rippled through me and I cried out.

“Bite you?”

My eyes popped open and Will’s eyes held confusion.

“I would never bite you, Camden.”

God, why did he keep using my entire name? He kissed my thigh, my hipbone, and my stomach then pecked my lips.

“He bit you?” he asked drawing the comforter up from the bottom of the bed and covering me. His question sounded like he was appalled.

“No,” I lied. Don’t lie. “Yes. No. I don’t know. I don’t want to talk about it, Will. That was perfect, “ I said as he nestled up to me.

After he wrapped an arm around my neck, he tilted my chin upward. He pecked the end of my nose.

“Why did he bite you?”

I released somewhat of an exasperated breath. I didn’t want to get lost on this.  I wanted to repeat what had just happened and return the favor.

His eyes were so sincere…the color of heaven.

“Camden.”

“Yes, William?”

He smiled at me.

“Why did he bite you?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. That was his thing. I kind of thought it was normal. I learned later that it wasn’t. He’d slap my butt or my thigh too but a lot of times he’d bite.”

“Bite you where?” he asked sounding sad.

“My breasts or what I had of them back then. My nipples. My thighs. I’m sorry for saying that. I didn’t know if you bit.” Tears threatened my eyes.

“Don’t be sorry. But Cam.  You are a gift. A treasure. Something I want to cherish and would never want to hurt. The only thing I want to hurt is him.”

I cupped his cheek and felt the tension in his jaw. “Don’t be upset. I really need you to just hold me right now.”

That was one thing Max never did.

When I woke up, I was snuggly nestled into Will’s underarm.  I didn’t remember falling asleep. But I took a long slow breath and stayed in place—even though I was kind of hot.

Will quietly moaned and I smiled. His body twitched in a couple of different places and I smiled wider. I loved that he was relaxed and truly sleeping. Then he said something that I couldn’t understand as his entire body tensed. His arm that was around me tightened. I think he was dreaming.  He started shaking his head.

“Don’t,” he whispered.

With my hands, I caressed his stomach hoping to calm him.

“Stop,” he said and I did because for a second, I thought he was awake.

Wrigley stood on his hind legs and stared at us.

One of Will’s legs kicked up and he moaned louder. Muscles flexed on the arm around me and my neck started to hurt so I pulled free. Dreaming was an understatement…he was having a nightmare.  Sitting upright, I watched him for a moment, his beautiful body twitching, reacting to whatever it was that was playing with his mind. Seeing his muscles tense did something to my body. I wanted him again but felt bad for whatever demon he seemed to be fighting.

“Matty,” he moaned then shot upright, eyes wide and yelled, “Cam!”

I grabbed his face forcing him to look at me. “I’m right here.”

He panted and a light sheen of sweat covered his body.

His glistening eyes roamed over my face and he blinked back tears.

“Will? What’s wrong?”

He shook his head.  “Nothing. I’m sorry,”

We were in an awkward position so I straddled him and found his face in the darkness.

“Please tell me. I’ve told you so much. Trust me, Will,” I nearly pled.  “Please.”

As he inhaled a long, measured breath, I stayed put.  He took one hand in his and kissed it.

“Matty was my younger brother. There were two years between us. I’d always protected him. He was a little bit smaller than me and sometimes he got heckled about that. That pissed me off because Matty was tougher than shit. I knew he lived in my shadow. When I went to college, he wanted to do something different. So he joined the Marines. Mom wanted him to join the Navy, she thought that would be safer…but he wanted to stand out at something.”

He closed his eyes and tears swelled in mine.

“He begged me to go. Join with him. I think he knew I’d do my best to never let anything happen to him. We’d never done anything apart. As much as he hated being in my shadow, he adored me. But not near as much as I adored him.  He was my best friend. My brother.”

In my heart, I knew he had been killed, but I waited for him to say it.

“We Skyped when we could. Wrote letters. Talked on occasion. He was 32 days away from coming home. Thirty-two,” he whispered. “We were told they were walking through a village. Not sure where the shots even came from. He was killed instantly, which was good I suppose.” His voice cracked and when he closed his eyes, tears leaked out the sides falling toward his ears. I leaned forward and kissed the trail of wetness near his temples. His chest rose and fell with quick breaths.

“Will. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whispered still straddling him but now laying flat against his chest. His arms wrapped around me and his chest trembled.

“I miss him so much,” he cried and I squeezed him even tighter then spread kisses over his face. “I’m sorry, Cam.”

My eyes darted up to his. “Sorry? For what?  Don’t be sorry. Don’t be sorry. You hurt.  Hurt hurts.”

“I need you,” he said softly raking his fingers through my hair.

“I’m here.” And for whatever reason, I kissed him. And this time, I navigated the kiss. My lips touching his. My tongue searching for his. Our souls even coming together in just a simple kiss. I kissed down his neck and over his pecs moving down his abs. I’d never been this close to them so I took my time feeling every curve of every distinct notch of muscle. At one point, his stomach quivered and I heard a low chuckle rumble through him.  I loved even for a moment that I’d gotten his mind off the heavier stuff.  And as I kissed along the waistband of his undershorts, he moaned.

I was nervous as I slid my fingers beneath the cotton of his shorts and began to inch them down his thighs. A girl always wondered about the size of a guy and I was about to find out. I lifted his shorts up and over and I was shocked…scared…I don’t know what. When I had just turned 16 and experienced what I had with Max, I thought then that he was big…but compared to Will, he wasn’t.  The thought of what I held in my hand right now being inside of me made me tighten everywhere. I wanted to do what he had done to me earlier but I honestly wasn’t sure I could.

“Cam. You don’t have to do that,” he said somewhat easing my anxiety.

Max had never given me a choice. He would knot my overabundance of hair in his hand. He would gag me. I hated it! How could I have ever thought that he was something good?  Working through this now and the realization… 

For the first time ever, I wanted to do this. Do it my way. Do it at my pace. Do it for Will and myself.

When Will caressed my cheek and looked down at me, I knew I wanted to try…so I did…and when it was over and he kissed my forehead…I finally realized what love was beginning to feel like; I wanted to do it over and over again for him.

Chapter—Will

I remember asking my dad one time how he knew that my mother was the one and he laughed at me. I asked him what was so funny. And he shook his head and said, “you’ll know because she’ll knock you clean off your ass. I can’t put it into words, Son. But you’ll have no doubt.” Well, I had no doubt.  It didn’t take a blowjob to confirm this. I think I knew from the first time her little feet stuck out from beneath that blanket and her head was tucked under a pillow. When she gave me that thumbs up.