Purple Haze (Blue Dream Book 2) (7 page)

Helplessly, I'm tumbling back in time. “I...”

“I always do.” His strong hand wraps around the nape of my neck with the same ease it’s always had. The same precision. The same impetuous passion. “I belong here.” 

One hand lands on his chest to deny the tug. Reckless with cupidity our mouths crash together.  Within seconds my tongue is dying to reconnect with the taste I haven't had in a decade. Rain rapidly covers the two of us refueling the same immediate need I had so many years ago, except this time, I know deep inside I won't stop until every piece of him is overflowing into every piece of me. This time we're not desisting until my heart, body, and soul is replenished by Ryder Collins.

A moan slips out of me as I wrap my arms around his neck. Like a forgotten skill waiting to be restarted, he slips one arm around me, keeping us pressed together while using the other to jiggle the door open. On an unbreakable kiss we stumble inside my townhome. The front door is shut with a thud seconds before I'm sloppily losing my work bag. My heels. Our tongues continue to tangle, catching up on years of missed milestones, as the sound of his shoes hits the hardwood floor. My hands guide themselves to the hem of his shirt profusely tugging like a toddler having a tantrum until Ryder breaks apart just long enough to toss it off.  His mouth is only gone for a minor moment yet it feels like an eternity. I lead us, lips re-locked, towards the stairs. The minute my foot hits them, I briefly pull away to shed my own top. A mixture of a growl and whimper seep from him. The unusual sound causes me to smile and kiss him again on our ascent up the steps.

By the time we're falling onto my purple sheets, we're completely naked and my body is aching so desperately with desire, I'm afraid there's no possible way to sate my appetite. Ryder's knees nudge my legs open and quickly erase the irrational concern as his cock instantly provides gratification like I've never experienced before.

My head rolls to the side gasping for air through the clamping down of my muscles around his. His tongue languorously travels across every free inch within its immediate reach. The devotion causes me to moan at the same time I shut my eyes. Ryder's cock steadily strokes as it leads us down the previously unpaved path. Helplessly, I cry while my body surrenders itself completely, offering an orgasm of penance for the lost but not forgotten years. The thrumming of my pussy pushes his lips back to mine. He devours my mouth while his dick ravages me from the inside, his hand now gripping my thigh tightly for leverage. Our heedless moans clash against the rain and thunder outside the window. Oblivious to everything outside of each other, our bodies rock until we're quivering in unison, orgasms fusing our past to our present, clearly planning us a future with or without our consent.

My fingers, which had found a new home on top of the tattoo that explains exactly how we got here, slowly drag themselves down his back.

Ryder's eyes leisurely soak in my naked body before finally connecting with mine.

The bright hue pleads and promises everything I know his words want to. What his words had intended to.
This
is what it's like when you're in love. You can feel what the other person is trying to communicate. You can feel how much pain they were in. You can feel how at ease it is now. Katherine was right when she questioned if I was still in love with him after all these years, but knowing that transfers the long line of questions I was running away from back to the forefront of my mind. And that's the last thing I feel like dealing with right now.

Ryder's mouth twitches in preparation to say something when I question in a hopeful tone, “Again?”

Relief bathes his face. “Yes.” His lips lower back to mine repeating the word one final time before his tongue volunteers to do the rest of the agreeing.

We need to talk. We
have
to talk....just not right now. For the first time in years, I'm drowning in pure bliss, and I'm not ready to come up for air.

Presley

I stretch for the coffee cup that's at the machine. The innocent action is filled with groans. Every muscle in my body happily hurts. I've never had this problem before. No gym experience could ever come close to competing. Last night everything outside of the two of us ceased to exist. It was a level of intimacy I had forgotten could exist. Did exist. We didn't stop to talk. We didn't stop to eat. The only things we did from sun down until we passed out, was make love and find ways to keep our bodies connected in between. Last night was probably one of my least responsible decisions from lack of condom to hopping into bed with what is practically a complete stranger. But it was so exhilarating. Nothing has felt
that right
in a very long time.

“Hey,” Ryder's greeting shifts my gaze away from the purple mug taunting me.

Instantly a smile spans across my face. “Hey.”

“I um...” He clears his throat. “I hate to just leave but...I have to get to work.”

The realization we aren't carefree teens any more kicks me in the gut. “Right. I understand. I should...I should probably get ready to go too. Busy day ahead.”

He walks towards me as he proclaims, “I wouldn't hesitate to call in if I hadn't basically just got this job.”

In an attempt to hide my disappointment with his leaving, I try to say nonchalantly, “No worries.”

His hand lands on my robe covered hips and he tugs me into him. “I swear, I don't wanna go-”

“Ryder,” I gingerly interrupt. “It's fine. I have an important meeting.”

“But-”

“Seriously, it's fine. Get to work. Don't be late.”

The corner of his mouth tugs upward. “Will you have dinner with me tonight?”

There's no assumption of a yes in his tone. No immediate expectation. It's such a strange implication to have no obligation to say yes, I'm stunned silent.

His Adam's apple bobs. “Is that a no?”

“No. It's not a no. Um. Yes. Yes, I'll have dinner with you tonight.”

He brightly smiles and his hands hold me tighter. “Good. I get off at 7:00. Will you be off by then?”

I nod.

“Perfect. There's this great nacho place right across from where I work. Wanna meet there around 7:15?”

“Okay.” The answer is barely out of mouth before his tongue is reminding mine of the extended separation ahead. I grip the edge of his shirt harder from the sadness over the thought, which is ridiculous. Feeling anything like this, this fast, this intense with someone I honestly probably don't know any more, is ludicrous. And yet somehow I am.

Reluctantly the kiss drops and he whispers with his forehead pressed against mine, “I really don't wanna fucking go to work.”

Unable to stop my grin from growing I whisper back, “I promise I'll see you when you get off.”

He lifts his head off of mine, eyes coated once again in optimism. “You promised.”

I nod, slightly surprised at how freely the words came from me.

Ryder's thumbs stroke my sides. “I work at Big Mike's Garage. It's right off of Welsher.”

“Got it.”

“7:15.”

“7:15.”

He gives me a warm smile, one final kiss, and slips away. My body instantly craves the lost touch. I admiringly watch him walk past my open living room for the front door. As soon as his shoes are on, he's gone, and the abandoned kiss on my lips suddenly doesn't seem to be enough. God, what is wrong with me? I finally grab my coffee cup and turn my back to the door.

The silence that tries to settle is interrupted by my cell phone ringing on the counter. I grab the device, seeing Katherine's name, and answer cheerfully. “Hey, you're up early.”

“Yes. I got the memo the interview was supposed to be over coffee and muffins, but apparently the
interviewer
either didn't get the message or overslept. Not sure about anything other than the fact it's earlier than I like and I am sitting in a coffee shop
alone
. I miss my husband. I miss Angel. I miss you. I cannot wait to come home,” Katherine's griping brings a smile to my face.

“I miss you too,” I giggle between sips.

There's a brief pause before she prods, “You sound...chipper. Why?” Without waiting for a response she continues, “Did you hide from your problems in a milkshake last night?”

Images of Ryder on top of me, underneath, and beside me bounce around until I sigh, “Not in a milkshake.”

“Cake? Cookies? Cheeseburger?”

After another drink I reply, “Negative.”

She stops guessing and I imagine the disapproving look I'm being given from several states away.

Sheepishly I admit, “I had sex last night.” My aching body causes me to mumble, “And again at some point this morning.”

“Sex with who?” she calmly questions. When I don't answer she whispers, “You didn't have post break up sex with Xander did you?”

“God no,” I instantly gag. Sex with Xander wasn't terrible but it wasn't actively enjoyable. Like everything in our relationship it was a bi-monthly chore.

“Then who? The kickboxing instructor?”

Without my consent my smile beams. “Ryder...”

Some sort of sound comes from Katherine before she laughs. “I told you to face your problem. Not screw it.”

Covering my face, I quickly agree, “I know! I know! And I didn't
intend
to have sex with him! It just happened-”

“It just happened?”

“He was on my front porch-”

“How did he get there?”

“Remember I mentioned he was Merrick's roommate? Well, he was the one who helped him move my stuff in.”

“Right.”

“Anyway, one thing led to another and he said....things and I said things...and then he kissed me, the rain fell, and the rest of the night is kind of a beautiful blur.”

Katherine doesn't hesitate to giggle. “Wow. Did you even try to resist him?”

“Of course!” I croak. The over exaggerated effort causes my body to ache once more and sigh, “Kind of....I don't think I wanted to resist him, Katherine.”

“Mmmhm.”

Leaning my body back against the counter I state, “The only thing I wanted last night was to feel the way he used to make me all those years ago.”

“And did he?”

“Somehow he made me feel even better,” I whisper. “Maybe it's just blinders of nostalgia. Maybe it's just because Xander barely got anything pumping in my system. Or maybe...maybe....”

“Maybe it's a second chance waiting to be taken,” Katherine's therapist tone joins the conversation. “What did you two discuss last night?”

Instead of admitting there was no discussion outside of harder, deeper, and begging for more, I press my lips together.

“So nothing,” she mumbles. “Presley, you can't just pick up where you left off. You're an adult now. You're a different person-”

“I know.”

“
He's
a different person. Hell, he was a different person when you walked away from him, remember?”

The memory of saying goodbye to a stranger who held the face of someone I loved too deeply for my own sanity begins to creep back into my thoughts.

“Before you two repeat last night, you really should spend some time talking. Confronting past emotions. Confronting the unspoken difficulties losing him gave to you. Take hold of this situation. Set up boundaries and perimeters.”

I nod. “You're right. Of course you're right. I know you're right. At dinner tonight we'll talk. About everything.”

“Good,” she says strongly. “Ten years is a long time. Keep in mind he may look like the Ryder you once knew, he may make you feel like the Ryder you once loved, but there's a high probability with what he's been through,
that
Ryder doesn't exist anymore.”

And that's what scares the hell out of me. His letter gave me a whisper of hope
my Ryder
, the Ryder who has my initials tattooed on his back, the Ryder who planned to have a huge family with me, might exist somewhere in the world, but the reality is we've both changed. We've both grown up and while our bodies, our chemistry, our souls seek out shelter in the other, it doesn't mean it's healthy. It doesn't mean we're going to be together. It doesn't mean we
should
be together. However, I can't deny I believe the words he said yesterday. He belongs here with me. I belong with him.