Push the Envelope (15 page)

I gathered up our trash and moved to the bed to straddle his
lap. My nipples puckered as he watched me from hooded eyes. I had just lowered
myself onto his lap when my phone chimed. I pulled it from my back packet to
put it on the bedside table and realized that I had several missed texts from
Aubrey.

“Hold on a second. Something’s up with Aubrey,” I said as Drake
lowered my shirt to kiss the tops of my breasts.

“Grrrr,” he growled as he nuzzled my chest.

Aubrey: Sleep here tonight?

Aubrey: Need to talk.

Aubrey: Are you coming?

As badly as I wanted Drake right now, I couldn’t abandon my best
friend if she needed me, and it sounded like she did. She wouldn’t have asked
me to come back if she didn’t.

“Shit,” I swore. “I need to head back to my dorm.”

Drake pulled his head away to look up at me with a frustrated
glare. “Fuck. Gimme five minutes.”

I leaned down and gave him a deep, wet kiss before pulling away
to stand up. “No can do, dude. It’s gotta be bad for her to send me three texts
in a row. Hold on to that thought though. You know I’ll see you tomorrow. And
if it isn’t too horrible, maybe I’ll be able to come back later.”

“Fine,” he huffed with an adorable pout on his full lips.

I grabbed my stuff and we headed over to the dorm.

“I’ll text you once I know what’s going on, okay?” I said when
we got close to my building.

“Let me know if she needs anything. I’ll run out and grab it for
you. No driving your damn car in the snow!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk to you later,” I said as I left the
truck.

When I got to our suite, I found Natalie and Faith waiting for
me in the common area. Faith jumped up as I walked in the door and shoved a box
of tissues at me.

“Thank God you’re here. She’s a total mess,” she said. “She
stormed in about an hour ago and locked herself in your room.”

 
“She hasn’t come out at
all?” I asked, glancing at the closed door.

“No, and we haven’t heard anything other than crying, either,”
Natalie answered. “I knocked and asked her if she was okay, but she just
screamed at me to go away.”

“She’s been acting kind of strange lately, too. You’ve been
pretty busy with Drake, so you might not have noticed. But I don’t think she’s
been sleeping very well. I’ve found her in here a few times when I’ve woken up
to go to the bathroom,” Faith added.

“Crap. That doesn’t sound good at all. Thanks for waiting to
tell me what’s going on,” I told them as I headed towards our door.

“We like Aubrey. We were about to head out, but we didn’t want
to leave her until you got here,” Natalie said.

“Yeah, I hope it isn’t anything serious,” Faith chimed in.

“Me too,” I muttered under my breath, knowing that it was very
unusual for Aubrey to freak out like this. I knocked on the door lightly.
“Aubrey, it’s me. Will you let me in?”

I heard her rush to the door right before it swung open.
“Finally!” she shrieked as she pulled me into our room.

“What the hell’s going on, Aubrey?” I asked.

She turned towards me, and I gasped when I saw her face. She was
always so put together, but her hair was a mess and mascara was streaked down her
cheeks. She really had been crying this whole time.

“I’m scared, Lex,” she whispered.

I walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. “Why? Did
someone hurt you?”

“I think I might be pregnant,” she cried, shaking in my arms.

“What?” I gasped.

“I’m late. You know I’m never late
—
like ever.”

“How late?” I asked.

“Almost a week.”

I pulled away to look into her face. “Aubrey, why didn’t you
tell me?”

She shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the floor. “I
think I was trying to pretend it wasn’t happening. Lex, what will I do if I’m
pregnant? I can’t get an abortion, and I’m so not ready to be a mom. My parents
are going to kill me.”

“If you’re pregnant, we’ll figure it out. Your parents might not
be happy, but you know they’ll support you. They would never let you go through
something like this alone. They love you,” I reminded her.

“I know that, I do. But I just don’t know how I can tell them
what’s going on.”

“Have you taken a test yet?”

She shook her head in response. “No. I bought a couple today,
but it says they work best first thing in the morning.”

I pulled out my phone and Googled pregnancy tests to get more
information. “Okay, it says here that you can still take one now, it’s just
less accurate. I think you should do that, and if it’s positive then you’ll
know and that part will be over. If it’s negative, then you can take the other
one in the morning. Okay?”

“Yeah, but can you check if Faith and Natalie are still here? I
feel weird doing this with them hanging around.”

“I think they’re gone, but I’ll double-check,” I assured her. I
went into the common area, and there was no sign of either girl. “The coast is
clear.”

I waited outside the door as Aubrey used the bathroom. When I
heard the toilet flush and running water, I opened the door to check to make
sure she was okay. The pregnancy test was sitting on the corner of the counter,
like a ticking time bomb.

“We have to wait a few more minutes,” she said before she slid
down and sat on the floor.

I crouched in front of her. “Do you need anything?”

“I could really use a shot of vodka right about now, but I guess
that’s not an option,” she complained.

“Not tonight, but we can drink ourselves silly tomorrow night if
the tests both come back negative,” I promised.

“I’m so glad you came back. I’m sorry to interrupt your time
with Drake tonight.”

“Shut up! Where else would I be when my best friend is having a
crisis? I’m right where I need to be, and we could have done this sooner if
you’d just have told me about it,” I chastised her. “What pushed you over the
edge tonight?”

“The guy I was with last, the one who could be my baby daddy? I
saw him today. It’s been a few weeks, and I’m the one who said no to a
relationship. But I freaked out when I saw him with another girl, and here I
am, worried that I might be pregnant with his baby. It just made it seem more
real.”

“Aubrey,” I sighed.

“Here goes nothing,” she muttered as she got to her feet and
lifted up the test to check the results. “Thank God! It’s a minus sign.”

I jumped up and hugged her. “One down, one to go. Let’s get you
some water so you’ll have to pee in the morning. We can wake up early and take
the next one, okay?”

She sighed deeply and nodded her head. I sent Drake a quick
message, letting him know that I wouldn’t make it back over. Aubrey and I
chatted into the night, catching up on everything that had been going on with
each other. I felt guilty talking about how well things were going with Drake
and me when her life was so messed up right now. Aubrey had always flitted from
one boy to the next, falling in and out of love so easily that she never really
bruised her heart. I’d always kind of admired her for it, actually. Now, I
realized that she hadn’t really been falling in love. Infatuation? Sure. Lust?
Probably. Love? No way.

I hadn’t thought of my feelings for Drake in those terms before,
but I had to admit that I’d fallen for him. Hard. I couldn’t imagine my life
without him in it. My days were better when we were together, and he made my
heart race every time I saw him. As I finally drifted off to sleep, I had to
admit it, at least to myself. I had fallen hopelessly in love with Drake
Bennett.

A few short hours later, I woke to the blaring of my alarm. It
was only 5:00 a.m., but we’d figured it was late enough for the second
pregnancy test. I shook Aubrey awake and led her to the bathroom. I waited
while she peed on it, and we repeated the process from the night before,
whispering to each other this time so we didn’t wake up Faith or Natalie. The
last thing we needed right now was any questions about what we were doing.

“I think it’s time,” I said after five minutes.

“I can’t look,” Aubrey cried. “You do it this time.”

I got up and checked the test. I turned to her, beaming.
“Negative. It’s a minus sign, Aubrey.”

“I’m not pregnant?” she gasped.

“Nope, you’re not. I know you’ve always been super regular, but
maybe it was just stress. Or your body is trying to sync up with ours since
there are four of us rooming together.”

“I’m not pregnant,” she repeated, tears streaking down her
cheeks.

I wrapped her up in a hug. “Vodka for sure,” I whispered into
her ear and she giggled.

“Absofuckinglutely!” she agreed. “But first I need some more
sleep so I can face classes today.”

“Great idea!” I agreed, and we both headed back to bed.

chapter
14

I woke up to the text message chime on my phone. I glanced at
the clock and realized only a couple hours had passed. It was barely after 7:00
in the morning.

Drake: Meet me asap. Need to talk NOW!

Alexa: What’s up? Sounds like an emergency.
Not sure I can deal with another one today.

Drake: Meet me at my place asap.

Alexa: You’re scaring me. R u ok?

Drake: Not ok. Need to talk.

Alexa: On my way now. Be there in 5 mins.

Drake’s text messages freaked the hell out of me. His tone was
different than usual, and he sounded pissed off.
 
I couldn’t imagine what had changed since I’d
seen him last night. I changed out of my pajamas as quickly as possible and
raced over to the frat house. I could hear the loud music that was blaring all
the way from the bottom of the stairs. Not a good sign.

As I neared Drake’s door, the lyrics from Limp Bizkit’s
My Way
got even louder. I went into his
room and found Drake sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. I turned
the music off and walked over to him. He was staring at me with a blank look on
his face, none of the usual twinkle or desire in his eyes.

Kneeling on the floor at his feet, I reached out to rest my
hands on his legs. He flinched away from my touch and stood. Striding across
the room, he slammed the door shut. I jumped at the sound. I might not know
what had happened between now and last night, but it was clear that Drake was
angry. I couldn’t have even done anything
—
I’d fallen asleep as soon as I’d texted him
last night.

“Drake, what’s wrong?” I asked, worried by his silence.

Drake glared at me and crossed his arms over his chest. It was
like he was putting up a wall between us. “I need you to tell me how you’re
paying for school.”

“What do you mean how I’m paying for school? The usual way that
people pay for college. I have a scholarship, loans, and my job with Dad. Why?”

“And that’s it? Because that’s not what I heard this morning,”
Drake responded.

“You heard something about me and school this morning? You haven’t
even left your room yet.” What could someone have possibly said to him that
would have gotten him this angry at me?

“Is there a reason that people would think that you’re
prostituting yourself to pay for school, Alexa?”

“What? Absolutely not! How could you even ask me a question like
that?” I was horrified. Here I was, the morning after I’d finally admitted to
myself that I had fallen in love with Drake, and he was asking me if I was a
hooker.

“I need you to be completely honest with me. I heard from a very
good source that something isn’t right with your financial situation and that
you’ve resorted to selling sex to pay for school.”

“Drake, I haven’t even had sex with anyone other than you in
like three years. Listen to what you are asking me. You know that’s just not
possible.”

“You said it had been that long, but how do I know if you told
me the truth? This information had to come from something you’re doing. Please,
tell me there’s a good explanation, babe. Because I’m about to lose my shit thinking
about you with other guys for money. Jesus, for any reason. What the fuck,
Alexa?”

“You really believe this crap, Drake? You’re honestly asking me
if I’m a frickin’ hooker? Is that what’s happening here right now?” My mind was
blown. I couldn’t think straight. My heart was racing in my chest. This felt
worse than when I’d found out Brad had cheated on me. Even worse than when I
was scared to death when he wouldn’t leave me alone after we’d broken up.

He ran is hands through his hair in frustration. “I don’t want
to believe it, babe. I just need you to explain to me why
—
”

I didn’t let him finish his thought as my temper flared. “You
know what? No! You don’t just need anything from me. I don’t owe you any
explanations about how I pay for school or what’s going on with my dad’s
finances. This isn’t cool, Drake. You know me
—
or at least I thought you did. I can’t
believe you would listen to someone say crap like this about me without beating
the shit out of them, let alone decide to question my honesty and morals. What
the hell?”

He looked shocked at my response, like I didn’t have the right
to be angry here. “You don’t understand. The person who called me about this
—
”

I held up my hand, stopping him from saying anything more. “I’m
not the one here who doesn’t understand. You are. I don’t care who the person
was. You’re my boyfriend. You won’t even let other guys look at me without
getting pissed. Anyone flirts with me and you get all growly and possessive.
But someone tells you that I sleep with people for money to pay for school and
your first thought is to order me over here by text to accuse me of
prostituting myself?”

“Alexa, fuck. What the hell am I supposed to do here, not ask
you about this?”

“But you didn’t just ask me! You actually believe this crap.
God, I really know how to choose guys to fall for,” I cried out as I moved
towards the door.

“I didn’t say that I believed it. I’m asking you to explain to
me why someone would think this is what you’re doing.”

“Well, don’t worry about it anymore because it’s officially none
of your damn business. We’re over!”

I stormed out of his room and ran down the steps. My heart was
shattered into a million pieces. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I struggled
to hold everything inside until I made it back to the safety of my dorm room.
Each step I took felt like another nail in the coffin to my relationship with
Drake. I ran as fast as I could, hoping that Aubrey was still in our room.

I heard Drake call my name as he chased after me. I couldn’t
deal with him right now. If he really loved me, how could he possibly believe
anything so horrible about me? I moved faster, desperate to get away. As I
reached the front door and flung it open, I ran straight into Jackson. His arms
reached out to steady me.

“Lex, what’s wrong? Did someone hurt you? Tell me you’re okay,”
he demanded.

“Jackson, please. Let me go. I need to leave. Now.”

He glanced up and saw Drake coming towards us. “What the fuck?
Did Drake do something to you?”

“I can’t. Please, I am begging you. I can’t be here right now.”
My voice shook as I lost the battle against the pain that was consuming me.

Drake reached us and went to grab my arm to pull me towards him.
Jackson stepped between us, shoving me behind the safety of his body. “Stop
right there, Drake. I don’t know what the fuck happened, but you’re scaring
Alexa.”

“You’re right, Jackson. You don’t know what the fuck happened
and this has nothing to do with you. Back the fuck off and let me talk to my
girlfriend. She has some fucking explaining to do.”

I sobbed at the anger in his tone and clutched the back of
Jackson’s shirt. “Not your girlfriend, Drake.”

Drake growled in frustration. “My damn girlfriend!”

“Not what she says, man. Don’t know what you did to fuck this up
so badly, but you’re not doing this with her now. The only way you’re getting
to her is if you go through me. Walk away now.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Your chance to be the big hero.
Have you had a taste of her too, Jackson?”

“Jesus, what the fuck are you saying? Shut the hell up before
you say something you’ll regret forever. Out of all the guys in the world, she
picked you. And you’re going to fuck it all up over some bullshit like that?
You deserve to lose her.” He shoved Drake backwards and turned to nudge me out
the door. He slammed it shut behind me, giving me time to get away and staying
behind so that Drake couldn’t chase after me anymore.

I sent a quick text to Aubrey asking her to meet me at her car
and to bring a couple changes of clothes for me. My hands shook as I waited for
reply, hoping she wasn’t still sleeping. My phone chimed moments after I hit
the send button.

Aubrey: On my way.

God, that was part of why I loved her like a sister. When the
shit hit the fan, she didn’t waste any time with unnecessary questions. She
took care of business and saved the talk for later, even when she must have
been feeling like shit after the drama from last night.

By the time I made it to her car, she was already there. She
took one look at me and ushered me into the car. She grabbed a package of
tissues from her glove compartment and tossed them into my lap. I collapsed,
sobs racking my body now that I was safe in her car.

She tore out of the parking lot, getting me off campus as
quickly as she could. Aubrey drove aimlessly, waiting for me to calm down.
After about thirty minutes, she pulled over in front of a Holiday Inn on the
outskirts of town. “Back in a second. Don’t move.”

I wasn’t sure how long she was gone, but she opened the door and
unbuckled my seatbelt when she returned. As I climbed out of the car, she
pulled a bag from the back seat. “C’mon, I got us a room.”

I followed her blindly, tears obscuring my vision. She held on
to my hand as she led me through the hotel lobby and upstairs to a room with
double beds. I flung myself onto the closest one, and Aubrey sat next to me and
whispered soothing words while she rubbed my back. Once the sobs subsided, she
wiped my face with a wet washcloth and brought me a glass of water with a
couple ibuprofen. My head was pounding, and I sipped just enough water to
swallow the pills down.

“What happened, Lex?”

“I’m not sure, Aubrey. I got a text from Drake that he needed me
to come over. When I got there, the things he said… I just don’t know what
happened. How could he think those things about me?” I looked at her, my eyes
begging her to make me understand.

“What things, sweetie?”

“He called me a whore! He actually thinks that I take money from
men for sex. I let him in my life, in my fucking body. And he thinks I’m worse
than a slut.”

“What? You’ve got to be kidding. That’s fucked up, Lex.”

I barked out a laugh, nothing humorous in my tone at all. “I
wish I were kidding. God! I have the worst taste in men in the history of the
world. What the hell is wrong with me, Aubrey? First I pick a cheater who
stalked me and now a guy who’s willing to believe that I’m a hooker. That I’m
turning tricks to pay for college of all things.”

“Why on earth would he think that’s how you’re paying for
school? He knows you fly with your dad.”

“He said something about my dad’s finances. By then I wasn’t
really listening. I couldn’t really focus on what he was saying.”

“We’ll figure this out, Lex. I’m sure it was just all one big
misunderstanding.”

I shook my head. “No, there’s nothing to figure out. I broke up
with him and left. Drake chased after me and Jackson stopped him so I could
leave. It’s over. I’m done.”

Aubrey wrapped her arms around me. “Don’t say that. You love
him. Are you ready to walk away completely, not even knowing what made him say
what he did?”

“Aubrey! How could I ever trust him again after he made an
accusation like that?”

“I’m not saying you need to forgive him, but maybe you should at
least hear him out once you’ve calmed down. Maybe you’re right and it’s better
that you end it. But what if you’re wrong? What if there’s an explanation of
some kind? Can you handle ending things with him and seeing him on campus?
Seeing him with other girls?”

The thought of him with someone else made me want to vomit. “I…I
don’t know. I can’t imagine any explanation that would be good enough for me to
forgive this. I told him he was only my second lover. That means he thinks that
I’m a liar, too.”

“Take some time for yourself. Think about what you want to do.
If you decide to walk away, you have my support. And if you want to talk to him
to get to the bottom of all this, I’ll respect that, too. You’re the only one
who knows what the right decision is here. No matter what, you’ve got me in
your corner. Pinky swear.” She held her pinky out for me to shake. Even at the
height of my despair, the gesture made me smile, remembering all of the
promises from our childhood.