Pushing the Envelope: A Prequel from "The Barter System" World (2 page)

May 2001

Riya did
not
approve of the fact that Tawny had convinced an eighteen-year-old boy to relieve her of her sixteen-year-old innocence. 

Granted, she was kind of right but she was almost always right.

Still, she’d chosen Arnie carefully and groomed him for more than a month to do the deed. 

Searching out and finding a male who was drastically different from her hadn’t been easy.  Most guys were as risky and arrogant as she accepted herself to be. 

Her plan was to make sure she never got attached to her “first” like so many idiot girls did. 

If she waited, she might get caught up in the moment and give it up to some adventure junky who would give her herpes or something.

Arnie was virginal and disease-free.

Her mom would
freak out
if she knew her only child, her little girl, was taking off her clothes in a hotel room with a sweetly geeky guy who told jokes in Elven tongue. 

She’d freak about the clothes coming off, not the elf language.

“You sure you don’t want to grab pancakes first?” 

Straightening in nothing but her bra and panties, she put her hand on her hip.  “Dude…are you serious?”

“I…I just thought you might be hungry.”  His arms were crossed over his torso, sort of hugging his body.

She took a deep breath.  This was the guy who waxed poetic for three hours about his collection of
Star Wars
action figures and once confessed – when pressured – that he wanked off to pictures of Princess Leia. 

Patience, grasshopper. 

She’d have to baby-step him through this or she wouldn’t reach her goal of losing her pesky virginity to someone who wouldn’t leave her dead in a ditch afterward. 

Attainment of goals was the key to Tawny’s existence.

“Remember when you told me about that Leia fantasy, Arnie?  Why don’t you imagine that now?”  Approaching him like a skittish stray, she slid her hands over his narrow shoulders and up his neck.  “Close your eyes.”

He hesitated, swallowed hard, and nodded. 

“Think about the princess.  She was in danger and you rescued her.  Like Hans Solo…”

“
Hans.
”  The way he said the name made her smile. 

“Yeah.  Hans is strong and cocky.  He’s a man’s man always ready to take a risk for the big payoff.  He sees Leia in danger and he puts it all on the line, saving her from certain death.  The princess is
real
grateful.”

Softly, he asked, “Will you call me Hans?”

“Sure.  You can call me Leia.  Keep your eyes closed.” 

“Okay…whatever you say, Princess.”

“Exactly.”

Then she set out to attain one of many goals she’d written in her online journal. 
Lose bullshit symbolism of feminine “purity” to non-starter.

Check.



Busting through the door of Riya’s room two hours later, she screamed, “I’m officially a woman!”

Her best friend startled so badly that she fell off the other side of her bed where she’d been calmly doing homework.  Tawny
lived
to keep her on her toes. 

With a straight face, she asked, “You okay?”

“I’m going to have a coronary before I’m even legal.” 

Chuckling, she slammed the door and plopped on the bed, watching as Riya picked herself up.

“You really did it?”  She nodded.  “Was it scary?”  Tawny blinked.  “Wait.  It was Arnie.”

“There you go.”

“Awkward?”

She shrugged.  “All Leia and Hans…easy peasy.” 

Riya stopped picking up her notebooks and assorted office supplies.  Her face contorted in horror.  “You pretended to be
Princess Leia
?  Oh god,
why
?”

“He was getting cold feet and I had shit to do.  I’ve tagged along with him to every comic book store in twenty miles over the last month.  I needed to seal the fucking deal.”

“You
collect
comic books…”

“Not the point.  His are not as cool and he spends way too much time talking to the shop owners.  You know people annoy me.”

“True.  Will you go out with him again?”

“Nope.  I got my ho on and now I’m done.”  She glanced out the window.  “It wasn’t bad but I don’t get what the big deal is, to be honest.  He was nice.  Real gentle and it was over in a few minutes as I planned.” 

Looking at Riya, she sighed.  “Then he started calling me my
own
name and it freaked me out.  I just wanted him to stay in character.”

“He really likes you, Tawny.”

“Yeah.  I don’t need all that.  I needed a nice nerd type to relieve me of my cherry.  Hopefully, he’ll remember me twenty years from now as the best moment of his life.”  She stood up and stretched.  “I’m gonna go wash the whore off my body and we should go for ice cream.”

“Random but okay.”



Walking to the room in Riya’s house that had been hers for as long as she could remember, she stripped and stared fixedly at the blood inside her panties. 

“You are one crazy bitch.” 

In the shower, she realized she was tender where he’d pushed into her body.  He’d whispered that he was sorry. 

Parts had felt nice and others she hadn’t understood but it would take more experience before she could make a firm determination on whether she liked sex with guys.

When he rolled away, his breath huffing loudly, he told her, “Tawny, you’re pretty awesome.”

“Thanks, Arnie.”

His head turned on the pillow and he looked into her eyes with a sad smile.  “That was all you needed, huh?”

Strangely emotional, she replied, “You’re a good guy, Arnie.  I picked you because I saw how you are with the disabled kids at school.  Real patient and stuff.” 

She shrugged one shoulder.  “You know the way most people react to anyone with disabilities?  Well, I get that a lot.  Impatience and a distinct feeling that I’m different than everyone else.”

For a long moment, he was quiet.  Then he rolled to his side and took her in his arms. 

At her ear, he said, “I think you’re the coolest person I’ve ever met.  You
are
a comic book character, Tawny.  A real life superhero.  Don’t ever let anyone snuff out your awesomeness.” 

Arnie rolled on a condom, actually made her climax the second time, laughingly screamed “Princess Leia” when he came, and then took her for pancakes.

May 2003

Driving back from Arnie’s place, Tawny sang along to
Stacy’s Mom
and wondered if it was finally time to tell Riya that they’d been secretly dating since the day he took her virginity.  Like, exclusively and shit.

At first, she’d kept it to herself to see if it would last.  It was easy to do since he was two years older and had already graduated.  He worked in a call center and they didn’t hang out with the same people. 

Then it became a habit. 

Every part of her life was shared with Riya who had a room in her house just as she did in the O’Connell home.  They got up at the crack of ass to attend Nova High half an hour away.  They were going to the same college now that were almost done with the utter
joys
of high school. 

She’d lost count of the number of fights she’d not
started
but been more than happy to
finish
.  It would be great to finally be done with the breeding ground of fools.  All of them could kiss her ass.

Graduation was in a few weeks but they’d already gotten all their pats on the back for outstanding academic achievement.  Riya, they expected.  Tawny was a shock.

There was no doubt in her mind that the teachers and administrators checked their data several times before accepting that their “problem student” was smart.

She’d tried to tell them.  Damn. 

Use the guys’ bathroom to avoid the hairspray fumes or knock some cheerleader’s tooth out and you got
labeled
.

All that was left were finals and walking the stage in a hideous cap and gown that did nothing for her figure. 

Boring.

Back to the topic at hand.  She knew everything there was to know about her best friend, down to every sordid detail about the asshole she recently dumped. 

Riya had finally gotten an interest in losing her damn cherry and that motherfucker took off the second
he
was done to play football with his
friends
. 

Her girl got even on her terms, earning her props since Tawny didn’t think she had it in her.  She recorded the moment for posterity and high-fived her in hysterics until Riya’s hand went numb. 

The truth was that Tawny kept so many secrets that it bordered on pathological.  As the person closest to her heart, she often felt weird about keeping information from Riya but she couldn’t seem to help it.

At the start of their senior year, she’d started a web-based business that focused on computer training. 

After winter break, with an investment in better equipment, she started doing self-help videos. 

Both were shockingly low start-up, high return, and completely legal.  They generated money while she slept because the internet was awesome.  She had a feeling it was only going to get better and she had tons of ideas.

No one in the real world had a clue.

They planned to spend the summer on the beach.  Riya would toast up beautifully and Tawny would go through four gallons of natural sunscreen by the time their classes started in the fall. 

She prepared to turn into the driveway of the O’Connell house and was surprised to see a police car turn in just ahead of her. 

Following behind it, her stomach knotted as the cruiser parked and two policemen stepped out. 

Had she done anything illegal lately? 

Racking her brain and coming up empty on anything that could be proven, she cut the engine, got out, and approached them carefully.  “Can I help you, officers?”

“Do you live here, miss?”

“It’s my best friend’s house.” 

The taller man nodded.  “We need to talk to the family who lives here.  It’s important.  Can you get them?” 

There was an expression on his face, a tone in his voice, that sent terror skittering down her spine. 

She turned and ran for the front door. 

“Riya!” she screamed from the foyer as she slammed inside and left the entry wide open. 

At the end of the hall, her friend peered around the corner of her bedroom. 

“Who else is here?” she barked.

Confused, Riya pointed to Archer’s study.  “Dad’s home working.  Do you need him?”

She knew that her best friend was about to experience something awful and she wanted more than anything to stop it, to make it not happen. 

“Riya.  Get your dad.  The police are here.”

Laughing, Riya said, “You sure they’re not looking for
you
, Red?  Did you fuck with those guys at the gym again?  Flash the retirement home?”

Marta, their long-time live-in housekeeper, came from the kitchen, passing to address the officers as Tawny walked to Riya. 

Taking her shoulders, she took a deep breath.  “Archer!”  The good-looking man appeared in the doorway of his home office but Tawny never took her eyes off her friend’s face.  “The police are here.  You need to come.” 

A frown formed between Riya’s eyes.  “What is it?”

“I don’t know yet.” 

Taking her hand, they returned to the foyer where Marta waited with the uniformed men. 

The officer wasted no time once Archer introduced himself.  “Sir, your wife’s car was hit at the intersection of Federal Highway and Hillsboro Boulevard.  She’s at North Broward Medical Center in critical condition.” 

The other officer added, “Another car ran a red light.”

Riya began to slip to the floor but Tawny held her upright.  Shaking fingers dug into her bare forearm but she wouldn’t notice the bleeding crescent marks made by terror until much later. 

Archer stared at the man.  He never blinked.  Not a muscle in his body moved. 

“You’re lying,” he finally growled.

“No, sir.  I’m sorry to bring you such news.  You need to get to the hospital immediately.  We’ll escort you.”

“Drive me and my girls.”

“No, Archer,” Tawny told him.  His face whipped around to stare at her.  “I have to get Mom.”

The way his face contorted in agony would remain etched in memory for the rest of her life. 

“Of course.  Oh my god, of course.  You’ll be careful.”

Nodding, she turned to Riya and whispered, “I’ll be right behind you.  Stay with your dad and I’ll get there as soon as I can.”

“Mom…?”

“Breathe.  It’s going to be alright.  Just breathe.”  Tawny
knew
Dalia wasn’t going to be alright but she needed Riya to keep it together while she went for Maggie.

The three days that followed were the worst she’d ever experienced.  When Edward Ratliff died, it was sudden and he looked almost peaceful as they ran to his body lying on the cobblestone driveway.

Dalia’s body was all but destroyed. 

It was impossible to connect the woman who had always been so beautiful to the broken patient on stark white sheets. 

Less than an hour after arriving at the hospital, the neurosurgeon on call told them that there was no activity in her brain. 

Riya and Maggie collapsed against each other.  Archer and Tawny held them up. 

There was no question that Dalia would not want to be kept on life support.  She’d made her wishes clear.

When the initial shock wore off around midnight, Maggie tried to call family but couldn’t hold her phone steady enough to dial.  Tawny took it and spoke to Dalia’s relatives in New York and Columbia.  She talked to a couple of Maggie’s as well.

For three days, she kept Riya beside her. 

Allowed her to hold her fingers hard enough to bruise.  Wiped her face of tears she didn’t know slipped over her cheeks.  Forced her to eat and drink.  Pushed her to sleep when she couldn’t keep her eyes open. 

Visitors came to pay their respects, to cry, and to hug those closest to Dalia throughout her lifetime. 

On the third day, Archer told the doctor that it was time and one by one, they kissed her goodbye and whispered at her ear about how much she was loved.

Then they let Dalia O’Connell go. 



The days following the death of Riya’s mother were filled with a grief so thick, it could be tasted on the air. 

After the funeral and an endless procession of well-meaning people, Tawny crawled in bed with her best friend and held her as she sobbed painfully hard. 

“My fault…it’s my fault.”

At the time, she didn’t know why Riya felt that way but she let her get it all out.  When necessary, she wiped her face or helped her blow her nose. 

Inside, she screamed and screamed.  Her own grief over Dalia’s loss was a rock in her chest that chafed and burned.  Riya’s mother seemed branded on every cell and every memory. 

Outwardly, Tawny was steady for her best friend, her sister, the kindest person she’d ever known, the woman she loved so much more than she had ever loved herself. 

In all their lives, they’d never really
needed
each other.  Their friendship was a
choice
they actively made.  Not because of the history between their parents or their close proximity but because their puzzle pieces fit. 

When Riya’s grief sapped her usual strength and left her vulnerable, Tawny was determined to lend her own.

They would make it through to the other side together.