Pushing Upward (37 page)

S
hould I open Emma's gift now, or wait until later?
I was staring at the unopened package when the telephone rang.

“Hello?”

“Sandra? Hi, it's Jerry. I'm glad I caught you.”

“Hi,” I replied, trying to find my voice.

“The agent I introduced you to last night called me wanting your number. She wants you to audition for a film; she wants to sign you … Sandra, are you there?”

“Yes, I think I'm here. I'm not sure.”

“Well, take her number. I'm late for a meeting. Call me later.”

I took the number, thanked Jerry, but could not muster the words to say much else.

I returned to the dining-room table, picked up the unopened package, the cookbooks, and the newspaper with my review, and left Emma's house, leaving the door unlocked for Sharleen or whoever else wanted to enter.

Later that night, at Calvin's, I had no energy to tackle any cleaning. I was too tired to lift
anything
other than the three dimes I held cupped in my hand. A rose-colored candle burned on the table next to the bed, along with a stick of sandalwood incense. As I rolled the dimes onto the bed, the only question that came to mind was:
What next?

The answer was hexagram 1:

1. Ch'ien / The Creative

Above: Ch'ien, Heaven, The Creative
Below: Ch'ien, Heaven, The Creative

The sage learns how best to develop himself so that his influence may endure. He must make himself strong in every way, by constantly casting out all that is inferior and degrading. Thus he attains that tirelessness which depends upon consciously limiting the fields of his activity …

In terms of human affairs, this symbolizes a great man who is still unrecognized. Nonetheless he remains true to himself. He does not allow himself to be influenced by outward success or failure, but confident in his strength, he bides his time … The time will fulfill itself.

I closed the
I Ching
and slid it over to the other side of the bed, along with the coins, the pouch, and the legal pad, and reached for Emma's package, securely tied with twine. I untied the cord and removed the paper from around the bundle.

It was my favorite painting of Josef's, the one of the beach. The one I had looked at every night in my room. It was so beautiful! How did she know? Silly question! My fingers ran around the antique frame, feeling the richness of the wood. I'd never taken the time to
really
look at it. Now, I could see every brushstroke, sense Josef's artistry in the strokes and the colors he chose, feel the love and energy emanating from the canvas.

I leaned back against the headboard of Calvin's guest bed, and propped the picture up against my knees to get a better view of the pale, expansive beach, dramatically juxtaposed against the vibrant aquamarine and teal-blue water.

As I gazed at it, I could feel all my senses merging into the beach. I was there on the sand, running, feeling the sun on my back, hearing Emma's voice: “Keep those knees high; stay on the balls of your feet.”

And as I kept running and kept listening, I knew her words would stay with me, as would the words from the
I Ching
:

Pushing Upward has supreme success …

The individual … need not be afraid, because success is assured.

Emma had entered me.

Do not allow the daggers of doubt to puncture your heart. Just let them bounce off you like pellets of water.

Emma's love would keep me rooted.

You are already a great actress. You only need to work on the inside.

Her gift connected me to my spirit.

I would hold it forever in my heart.

working with
the
I Ching

There are pivotal times in our lives when we are faced with challenging decisions, relationship questions, and work dilemmas. The
I Ching,
the ancient Chinese oracle, can help us reveal underlying issues that relate to our concerns. It can also strengthen our sense of direction, steer us onto an inspiring path—or simply confirm what we had realized all along.

Today, there are many versions of the
I Ching.
I have personally used the Wilhelm-Baynes translation, entitled
The I Ching, or Book of Changes,
published by Princeton University Press.

Most alternative editions include instructions on how to cast the oracle. For readers who may not have encountered the
I Ching
before, here is a brief description of how to “throw” the
I Ching
using the simplest method: three coins.

Formulating Your Question

When you formulate your question, it is recommended that you create a sacred space. Clear off a tabletop or other surface. You want the space to be clean, without any clutter. Focus your attention on your question, and then move gently into a state of receptivity. I usually start my question with the words:
Would
_______
be for my highest good?

Tossing the Coins

As described in
Pushing Upward,
yarrow stalks were used for centuries to cast the oracle—a very complex process. Today, most people use coins. I opt for either three dimes, three nickels, or three pennies. Ming Dynasty coins can also be used and may be found in many Asian stores. Whatever you pick, it is important that you use three of the same type of coin.

Stay focused on your subject or question when casting. Hold the three coins loosely in your hands, shake them briefly but mindfully, and then toss them six times.

The Hexagrams

The
I Ching
system consists of sixty-four six-line patterns, or
hexagrams,
each of which is composed of a stacked pair of three-line
trigrams.
The individual lines are either solid (yang) or broken (yin). The nature of the lines is traditionally determined by means of casting the coins or yarrow stalks.

The character of each line is determined by assigning a numerical value. “Heads” are counted as 3, “tails” are counted as 2. With three coins, there are four possible “throws”:

As you cast the coins, write down the numerical value of each throw and draw a corresponding line: a solid line for yang, a broken line for yin. Build your six-line hexagram from the bottom up. For example:

Line 6		= 9
Line 5		= 7
Line 4		= 7
Line 3		= 8
Line 2		= 8
Line 1		= 6