Queen (56 page)

    to be an event of some moment in his life, not a quick shaft in a bam

    with an illiterate field girl, giggling or otherwise. He wanted a girl

    he could talk to, easily, seriously, intimately, or laugh with, and

    already he knew who she was. His problem was that he didn't know how to

    extend their relationship beyond simple friendship.

    Because Jass wanted Easter. Perhaps he'd always wanted her, even before

    he knew what wanting her was, and he certainly wanted her that day he

    told her she could go to the wedding. God, he could have done it to her

    right then and there, rolling on the ground covered in those stupid wet

    sheets, and she wanted him, he knew it, he could tell from the look of

    her, the feel of her, the way her legs parted slightly as she felt his

    hardness pressing against her-

    He rolled off the rock into the stream, in case anyone was watching him,

    although he guessed he was alone at this tranquil bend in the river, his

    secret spot.

    It was always the same when he thought of Easter-he got hard in a

    second-and when he was near her it was worsethe sight of her, the touch

    of her, the very musk of her excited him to a point of inner turmoil that

    he had no idea how to

336 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

express, and so it was easier not to be near her.

    They knew each other too well, he decided. They'd shared a lifetime of

    growing up together, but their relationship did not include the intimacy

    and importance he gave to the act of copulation, and he was concerned

    that any suggestion of it by him would make her think he was taking

    advantage of his authority over her. So he avoided Easter and found

    excuses for not being with her, when actually she was the person he

    wanted to be with all the time, more than anyone else in the world.

    Nor could he discuss it with Cap'n Jack, because he couldn't imagine

    going to a man, even a slave, and saying, excuse me, but I want to do

    your daughter, which is what it boiled down to, no matter how nicely

    expressed. It wasn't the same as asking a father for his daughter's hand

    in marriagehe couldn't marry Easter, there was no future in any kind of

    relationship with her, even a physical one, but, oh, how he wanted her.

    Lolling in the shallow water, he had no answer to the problem, which had

    been tormenting him for months, and he pushed himself toward the deeper

    water, to swim to the shore, in the hope that the exercise would clear

    his mind.

    And he saw Easter sitting on the bank he was heading for, watching him.

    His clothes were beside tier, in a neat pile, where he had left them.

    He stopped swimming and stood waist deep in the water. With any other

    slave, male or female, he would have had no embarrassment. It didn't

    matter if a slave saw the Massa na ked; he was still the Massa, clothed

    or unclothed, and inhibitions of prudery were reserved for people who did

    matter, people of one's own kind. Easter was different. Easter mattered

    to Jass.

"What are you doing?" he demanded.

    Easter shrugged. "Watchin' you," she said. "Ain't no law agin it. "

    "There is because I say so. Now clear off," he ordered, more sharply than

    usual because she had been on his mind.

    Easter had decided on her own course of action. She sorely missed Jass's

    company and had come to see him now if only to be near him for a while,

    to tease him, to pretend it was still like it once was between them.

    MERGING 337

    "Coz you nekkid? Bet you'd let Miss Lizzie see you nekkid," she giggled.

    Jass was slightly shocked. "Don't talk about Miss Perkins that way," he

    began, and Easter interrupted him.

    "It's Miss Perkins this An' Miss Perkins that all the time these days,"

    Easter said. "What happened to plain ol' Miss Lizzie?"

    Jass was trying hard not to smile, for he had realized something obvious,

    something he should have understood before. Easter was jealous of Lizzie.

    "You wouldn't understand--

    Easter interrupted him again. "Oh, I unnerstan'," she said. "You got the

    fever fo' Miss Lizzie, an' never come se yo' po' Easter no mo'."

    Jass wanted to giggle. It was going to be all right. This mild expression

    of both jealousy and lust by Easter had made it all right. It would be

    easy between them now.

    Still, he had to play the game, to see where it would lead. "That's foul

    talk," he said, not meaning it, for it excited him to talk this way with

    Easter.

    Easter knew it was all fight too, that they could be friends again now;

    she knew it from the tone of his voice, and the look in his eye. She

    loved playing games with Jass.

She grabbed his clothes, and threw them farther up the bank.

    "Yo' c'n just cool off in that water a I'il whiles longer," she giggled.

    "You bring my clothes back this minute," he demanded, but the sense of

    fun in his voice gave him away, and Easter only laughed with him.

    Jass began advancing, very slowly, out of the water, inch by inch

    revealing slightly more and more of his nakedness.

    "I'll whip your hide," he called, grinning at her. "Wouldn't be the first

    time," Easter grinned back, making it clear she was ready to enjoy the

    experience.

    It was now or never, Jass thought. One more step would reveal to Easter

    what Wesley called the family jewels, and Jass was ready to take that

    step when he heard a horse galloping toward them.

    Easter heard it too, and turned in surprise. She saw the rider first, and

    turned back to Jass.

"It my Pappy," she said.

338 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

    Cap'n Jack rode up to them and dismounted. He spoke sharply to his

    daughter, and she thought he was angry, but it was only because of the

    urgency and privacy of his business.

"Git yo' tail outa here," he ordered Easter.

    She hesitated, a fraction too long, wondering why he was cross. She

    couldn't imagine he was bothered that she was here with the naked Jass.

    Her delay annoyed Cap'n Jack, and he smacked her, hard, on the rear.

    "Do as I tell," he roared. It shocked Easter-he hadn't raised his hand

    to her in years-and she ran away quickly, slightly scared of him.

    "What's the matter, Cap'n Jack?" Jass asked with as much surprise. Cap'n

    Jack did not immediately reply. He looked around, saw Jass's clothes and

    picked them up, brought them to the water's edge.

"Get dressed, Massa," he said.

    In that single, simple word, Jass knew what the matter was. Cap'n Jack

    always called him "Massa Jass" or, to other people, "young Massa." The

    use of the word "Massa" could mean only one thing.

    Cold and lonely emotions that he had never experienced flooded Jass, of

    which the most stringent was fear-for himself and of his new

    responsibilities. He hardly remembered getting dressed, but did remember

    that his clothes felt as if they belonged to some other, younger man.

    Cap'n Jack had turned his back while Jass dressed. He'd seen the boy

    naked many times, but Jass was not a boy anymore. He was in a position

    of ultimate and absolute authority over Cap'n Jack now, and his new role

    deserved this much respect. He sensed the cessation of movement from Jass

    and turned to him.

"Yo' Pappy dead, suh," he said. "Yo' the Massa now."

    Jass stood stock-still, almost at attention, drawing on resources he

    didn't know he had. There was so much to do, and he was the authority for

    it all to be done.

"I sorry to be the one to tell yo'," Cap'n Jack said.

    Jass blinked, and looked away to the river. What should he do first? he

    wondered.

"Thank you, Cap'n Jack," he said. "I'm glad it was you."

    Still he stared at the river. The sense of an awful loss and a found

    burden was starting inside him.

    MERGING 339

    Cap'n Jack watched him carefully, sure that Jass would behave well but

    still careful, in case his estimation was wrong.

    For just a moment, that surging sense of loss absolutely overwhelmed

    Jass. He wanted to cry, and knew he could not. He clenched his fists till

    the nails broke the skin of his palms, and bit his lip, hard, and fought

    the tears furiously.

    Somewhere deep inside Cap'n Jack another emotion raged just as furiously,

    for just as small a time. This boy owns me, he thought. I am a man, and

    this child owns me. For that brief moment, the bitter nail of bondage

    pierced clean through Cap'n Jack's heart. As immediately, the wound was

    healed by other considerations. I could have been free, his mind said.

    I chose this path, and I will see it to its end.

    As immediately, he knew that Jass had regained control of himself.

"Best see to yo' mammy now, Massa," he said.

    Jass turned to him, not a boy anymore, nodded, and moved to his horse.

Slaves had carried the body of James to the Massa's bedroom. Sally sat

beside the bed, her eyes closed, rocking gently, keening silently, waiting

to give full vent to her grief until she had done what she had to do.

    She was lost in a sea of silent grief and only a few specific sounds gave

    her any sense of direction, of finding a way toward tomorrow. She could

    hear Angel weeping softly just outside the door, and wondered why a slave

    should weep the death of a man who owned her. Through the open window,

    she could hear the sound of slaves in their quarters singing a spiritual,

    and that she understood. It was not an expression of their grief, but a

    calming of their fear, for they were in new and frightening territories,

    they had a new Massa, and things might be different now, and not

    necessarily for the better.

    She heard the sound of horses in the drive, and then footsteps on the

    gravel, then the veranda and then the hall, and she knew what they meant.

    She let go of her husband's hand, moved to the window, and stared out at

    nothing.

    When Jass came into the room, he knew what he would see, but wanted to

    delay it for just one more tiny moment. He looked at his mother, and she

    looked at the bed. Do it, her

340 ALEX HALEY'S QUEEN

eyes pleaded, get it done, and then I can be alone.

    Jass went and sat beside his father. Sally had no desire to know what he

    was thinking, or what kind of good-bye he was saying to the man who had

    given him life. It was a private thing, between them, just as whatever

    good-bye she would say to the man she loved was a private thing to her, and

    need never be known by anyone else. It was not their business.

    Jass knew he wanted to say something to his father, but couldn't think

    what, because this wasn't his father lying there. It wasn't anyone, it was

    simply a thing. Whatever his father was or had been was somewhere else now,

    or at least not here. He felt guilty that he didn't feel more involved in

    some way, and said a little prayer, in the hope that God would forgive him,

    and that wherever his real father was, he would be at peace.

After a little while, Sally knew that it was time to speak.

    " He wanted to tell you something," she said. "I don't know what it was,

    but it was important to him. I think it was about God."

    " I wish I'd been here," Jass said. He got up from the bed and went to his

    mother.

"I am so very sorry," he whispered.

    Sally nodded. A single tear spurted out of her eye, just one, and fell to

    her cheek, like a little arrow failing to find an unknown target. She shook

    her head, almost angry with herself, and turned to Jass.

    All the myriad things, the fears and hopes and dreams and worries and pride

    and care that a mother feels for any of her children starting on a bold new

    journey flooded Sally's heart. He was too young for such an adventure.

The king is dead, long live the king.

"You are the Massa now," she said.

    Jass turned away, and then looked back at her, but she had turned away from

    him. Whatever else they needed to say, whatever else they wanted to

    discuss, would have to wait. She had done what had to be done; now he had

    to do what he must. She had anointed him with her tears and ceded her life

    to him. to his care. To his responsibility. To his whim. Or to his caprice.

"Yes," he said, and left the room.

    MERGING 341

    It was done; she had nothing else to do. She could be alone with her

    grief. She went and sat beside James, lonelier than she had ever been in

    all her life, and wept.

They were all there, waiting in the hall for him to come downstairs. They

had been there, waiting for this moment, when he arrived at the house, but

duty demanded he do his business with his dead father and his living