Queen Bitch of the Callowwood Pack (Siren Publishing Classic) (36 page)

She stopped shivering when she toweled herself dry and wrapped her silk robe around her, but inside, she still felt frozen. Unwanted. She’d been unwanted.

So much for being part of the First Canid’s family. Sebrina is a descendent, and I’m the next generation.
She sat down at her mirror.
Holy shit,
I’m
the next generation!
How very
DaVinci Code.
I feel like the female cop learning she’s related to Jesus. Only I’m related to Ho’a’tote.
She stared at the mirror for a long time, studying her face critically.

Her brown-black hair glistened in the light, and her slightly almond-shaped light brown eyes looked out over a slightly beaked nose with mildly flaring nostrils. Julianna studied her wide cheekbones and found similarities between her face and Sebrina’s. But someone else’s genetics shaped her brows and pointed chin.

Julianna was staring at herself, trying to find truth in her reflection, when the phone rang. She blinked, coming back to the room, and turned her gaze to the phone in surprise. She didn’t feel like talking to anyone, and all her important phone calls had already been made.

She trudged across the room to the bedside table, and stared at the offensive contraption. The phone continued to ring impatiently, demanding her attention. She snorted and pressed a button on the side, silencing the ringer. The ensuing silence settled around her shoulders like a hood, and the sense of betrayal returned. Her tears rolled again, and she wiped ineffectually at them with her sleeve.

Dropping her robe to the floor with disgust, she crawled into her bed and let her tears soak the pillowcase instead.

* * * *

Jeff frowned and shoved his cell phone back into his pocket. Julianna usually answered when she was home.
Maybe she went out for the evening. I gave her the night off, after all
. He knew it was for the best, but he missed her. He hadn’t realized how much he enjoyed her company at the bar. Last night had been excruciating without her presence, and tonight wasn’t any better. He’d wanted to hear her voice.

Probably better that she didn’t answer
. Exhaustion from holding back his arousal and his Brother form nipped at the edges of his awareness. Even the sound of her voice had him harder than steel, and he didn’t need that tonight. He thumped his fist on the bar and turned his attention to cleaning up the used dishes.

“Hey, Mr. Jeff, how are you this evening?” The soft feminine voice that greeted him made him slip on his customary smile. Jeff looked up to see Cameron Winthrop seated at the bar in front of him.

“Good evening, Ms. Winthrop. I’m doing good and you?”

“Very well, thank you, Jefferson.” She tilted her head coyly. “Did you hear? I passed all the tests as of yesterday.”

“Congratulations.” It didn’t matter to him, but he was happy for her. “That’s great news.”

“It is, isn’t it? Goddess, I’ll be so glad when all this is over! I’m looking forward to tomorrow night.”

“It should be quite a party.”

“Mmm-hmm.” She reached up and pulled her ponytail over her shoulder. “Are you looking forward to it?”

He gave her his patented half-smile as he added soap to the dishwasher. “I am, actually.”

“It’s so great for the pack. Not even my parents saw the last Luna chosen, and now I’m a candidate. It’s really exciting.”

He nodded, but his interest in her words had waned. He wanted to talk to Julianna and share his observations of the last few weeks with her, not with Cameron Winthrop. Cameron smelled cloyingly sweet, and it damn near suffocated him. He didn’t know why she stank so badly to him. He hadn’t Mated yet, but the urge to find something,
anything
, to do to get away from the younger female skittered around his skull.

His walkie-talkie beeped imperatively at him, and he pulled it to his face with a shot of relief. “Yeah?”

“Hey, boss,” Kyle’s voice said. “We got a problem in the back room.”

“On my way.” Jeff glanced up at Cameron as he put the walkie-talkie away. “Excuse me, Ms. Winthrop.”

“Of course.”

He strode away and tried to ignore the wistful expression on her face.
Chewed bones, can’t tomorrow night get here any faster?
He hoped Kyle’s problem was big enough to distract from the hours creeping by because nothing else had done the trick.

Pick of the Litter

Morning came before Julianna wanted to face it. Sunlight teased her awake and gilded her entire bedroom with cheerful light.

She groaned and hauled herself into a sitting position, scrubbing her face with her hands. She was groggy and sleepy, but the clock told her she’d slept about twelve hours. How could she be tired after all that rest?

“Ugh.” She rolled her feet to the floor and stood up. Maybe a hot shower would revive her.

The shower did help, but it also woke her up enough to remember the ending to her previous day, and the sad betrayal crashed over her again.

“Oh, Goddess,” she moaned.
When did I start praying to the Goddess?
She didn’t remember, but it felt right given her ancestry.

Cooking breakfast for herself required too much energy, so she dressed and trudged down to her car, hoping the grumble of the Camaro’s engine would soothe some of her hurts. The burgundy beast happily growled to life, and she smiled. It reminded her of Jeff’s growly laugh when her head had rested against his chest, and happiness surged through her, taking the edge off her pain.

Julianna drove to Cindy’s Café to let someone else do the work and tried to immerse herself in the scents of artery-hardening bliss and the cheerful proprietor. Always happy to see her, Cindy gave her one of the booths near the windows, despite her solitude. Julianna thanked her and ordered mint green tea. She couldn’t bear drinking Sebrina’s favorite. When the tea arrived, she curled her hands around her mug and stared out at the morning, hoping the sunshine and hot steam would tickle the answers to her questions out of the ether.

“May I join you or is this a one-person party?’

Julianna looked up to see her mother standing beside the table, dressed in a dove gray silk blouse and somber black slacks.

“Oh, hey, Mom. Sure, have a seat. What are you doing up so early?”

“I was out walking and saw your car.” Beth seated herself across the table. She took in Julianna’s somber expression and cocked her head. “Are you all right, Julianna?”

“Oh, yeah, I think so.” Julianna leaned back against the booth. “Just been a rough couple of days, and I’m just trying to sort everything out. Would you like some tea?”

“You’re drinking tea? I thought you preferred coffee.”

“Usually I do.” She bit her tongue before she said more. “I don’t really need the caffeine right now. Mint tea is soothing for the stomach, and I need all the soothing I can get.”

“Oh? What’s going on? Are you sure you’re all right?”

Julianna looked at her mother, and tears gathered in the corners of her eyes again. Sebrina might be her birth mother, but Beth would always be
Mom
, the one who made things better when the shit hit the fan.

“Oh, God, Mom, I don’t know.” She stared out the window, hoping to stall her tears. “I just feel like everything is caving in on me, and I can’t seem to stop it.”

“Hey now, dear one,” Beth crooned. She reached across the table to squeeze Julianna’s hand. “Is it your father?”

Julianna shook her head and laughed humorlessly. “No, ironically enough, it’s not Dad.” She took a deep breath. “I met my birth mother yesterday.”

“What?” Beth sat back hard.

“Yes, she came by to tell me where I came from and why I ended up…where I did.” Julianna sipped her tea to try to calm herself down. “I don’t know how to feel, Mom. I’m hurt and angry and confused and betrayed. I don’t know what to make of it all. Why didn’t she want me when I was a baby? I feel…”

“Abandoned?”

“Yeah.”

Beth looked thoughtfully at Julianna for a long time before she said anything. Emotions swept across her face, and Julianna could smell the conflicting affects. Beth’s scent alternated between tangy fear and acrid, protective anger.

“How did she know you are her daughter?”

Julianna bit her bottom lip and chose her words carefully. “She recognized me from my resemblance to…an old family photograph.” She hated lying to her mother, but she couldn’t tell her Sebrina had recognized her wolf form.

Beth nodded and sighed. At last, she smiled and squeezed Julianna’s hand again.

“Julianna, I understand your confusion and hurt over your birth mother’s disclosure.” Beth’s voice filled with compassion. “But here’s the way I’ve had to look at it. Your birth mother must’ve had a reason for giving you up, whether she was alone, or too afraid to deal with a baby, or just too young. Maybe she knew she didn’t have the resources to adequately take care of you.” She shrugged. “Whatever her reasons, you came to your father and me, and we were so grateful that God had granted us a little child to raise as our own. It felt like a gift from Heaven. You were perfect, and we loved you with all our hearts.”

Beth sighed and smiled lovingly. “I’m so pleased to have been your mother. To watch you grow up and learn and become the woman you are today. I’m so proud of you, and I love you, even if I didn’t give birth to you. In her own way, I suspect your birth mother loves you, too. She just didn’t know how to deal with the awesome responsibility of raising a child.”

“But why tell me now, after thirty-six years?” Julianna asked plaintively.

Beth shrugged. “Maybe she saw how beautiful you’ve become and regrets losing the time with you. Maybe she just wanted you to know a little more of your family history. I don’t know her reasons for telling you, but she gave me the opportunity to raise you and be the mother to comfort you. For that, I’ll always be grateful.”

Beth paused and appeared to gather her courage. “Don’t be angry with her or hate her. She gave you to the best family she could without knowing it. Dwell on that, rather than her decision to give you up. And remember that I love you, and your dad loved you. She gave you the gift of us.”

Julianna took a shuddering breath as her emotions leaked out of her eyes. She closed them, holding onto her teacup for dear life.

“Oh, now, don’t cry, dear one,” her mother crooned and took her hand. “It’ll be okay, no matter what. What did she come to tell you, that she was sorry?”

Julianna nodded again while tears fell.

“Well, then, take her apology at face value and let it go.” Beth patted her hand. “These decisions were made long ago, and they can’t be changed, only regretted. She can do no more than apologize, and she did. Take it as her sincere regret and be happy you had a home and a family who loved you.”

“But she’s in town.” Julianna wiped her face with hands, hating the whine in her voice. “I see her all the time. She’s been teaching me the history…of Callowwood and its families, for the last couple of months. How can I face her again?”

Beth studied Julianna for a few moments, her expression thoughtful. Then she shrugged as if letting something go. “Is anything really different? Has her role in your life changed now that you know she’s your birth mother? You say she’s been teaching you history. That’s part of a parent’s job. She’s been teaching you about yourself in her own way. Now she gave you a new piece of information to go with what you knew. She obviously cares about you, even before she recognized you as her lost child. Take it as that and let the rest go.”

Julianna let her mother’s words sink into her consciousness, and some of her confusion eased.

“Is that what you’ll do, Mom?”

Beth smiled ruefully. “Yes, I’ll try. I admit I was concerned she wanted to take you back as her daughter, but in reality, it’s too late for that. She can only start to build that kind of relationship with you. I already have it.”

Julianna chuckled, wiping away her tears. “Yes, you do. Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re welcome, dear one. Now, are you having breakfast?”

“Yeah, I didn’t feel like cooking this morning.”

“I can imagine.” Beth picked up the menu. “What are your plans for the weekend? Do you have to work the whole time?”

Thinking about the choosing ceremony scheduled for that evening, Julianna suspected neither she nor Jeff would be working much at all that weekend. She wanted to tell Beth everything about the pack and the discovery of Jeff Lightfoot as her True Mate, but Beth’s humanity made it impossible.

“Not tonight. Jeff Lightfoot invited me to a party.”

Beth dropped the menu to the table.

“Jeff Lightfoot invited you to a party? Do you think he’s getting serious?”

“Yes.”

“Are you going as his special guest?”

“Yes.” Julianna blushed as her mother’s smile widened.

“Is it a formal party?”

“Yes, why?”

“This must be a dream come true for you. As I recall, you mooned over him for years.”

Mooned. How accurate
. Julianna nodded and smiled ruefully.