Queen Bitch of the Callowwood Pack (Siren Publishing Classic) (33 page)

“That’s not all I feel, either,” he whispered at last. “Come on, let’s finish up.”

Inwardly, she sighed in disappointment. He said he felt more than lust, but perhaps it hadn’t grown into love.

Yet
, her Sister said.

They rinsed off quickly, and Julianna tried to enjoy it, but Jeff’s lack of declaration bugged her. He watched her as she dried her body, following her hands as they dried her breasts, belly, and thighs. She smiled and let him look. A sense of power and sexiness filled her, and her worries faded a little.

Julianna wrapped her towel around her, and they retreated to her room in a companionable silence. The silence held while they dressed, but the looks they shared made Julianna’s heart flutter with excitement. She licked her lips to wet them, and his nostrils flared as his eyes blazed, his gaze following the tip of her tongue as it slid along the seam of her mouth.

She tried to take comfort in his obvious attraction, but her heart insisted attraction
wasn’t
love.
Does Jeff just
like
me?
He could simply consider her a fuck-buddy, a friend with benefits. The mating bond seemed to be based entirely on hormones, no matter what Sebrina had said about it occurring in soul mates.

She ripped a comb she found in the vanity through her hair fiercely, and Jeff’s eyebrows slid toward his hairline in surprise.

“Are you all right?” He stopped behind her, his own hair mussed from drying with the towel.

“Yes. No. Ugh! I don’t know. I think so.”

She buried the heels of her hands in her eyes and tried to calm herself down.
Getting angry now is a complete waste of energy.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He turned her and pulled her hands away from her face. His eyes searched hers for a few silent moments. “Come sit down on the bed and tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

Jeff pulled her to bed and sat down facing her with one knee drawn up. “You smell of fear and anger, but for the life of me, I can’t figure out what you’d be mad about. Did I hurt you in the shower?”

How was she supposed to answer that?

“I’m sorry, Jeff.” Julianna picked at the hem of the low cut shirt he’d selected for her to wear. “I’m just feeling a little overwhelmed by the change in status. You know, from candidate to…whatever I am now.” She ran a hand through her brutally combed hair and tried not to wince when a finger caught a recalcitrant tangle.

The silence between them stretched, and she glanced at him, wondering what he thought. His body appeared relaxed, but she knew he could move with lightning quickness if he chose. The weight of his gaze made her fidget, and she tried to still her hands, and her heart.

Why shouldn’t I be worried if he loves me or not? I don’t want my love to go unrequited, especially if I’m supposed to mate with him for life!

“You’re my True Mate, and after the ceremony on Friday, you’ll be the next Luna of the Callowwood Pack.” Jeff frowned a little, uncertainty in his eyes. “Isn’t that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“But?”

Julianna sighed and looked across the room, searching for something on which to pin her gaze.

“What, Julianna?”

“I want more.” She bit her lip. “I want it all. I want your heart, your love.”

A huge grin spread across his lips, and he lifted her hand to place a sensuous kiss against her knuckles.

“Oh, my sweet lady Lupine, my heart has been yours since your father’s funeral.” He gave her a half-shrug. “You looked so sad, but you stood strong and you held your own against all those bitches who tried to snub you.”

Julianna raised an eyebrow, and Jeff nodded. “Oh yeah, I noticed. You didn’t need me to protect you, but you didn’t shove me away. I counted my lucky stars that I got to sit next to you and feel your body against mine where I’ve wanted it for years.”

See? I told you!

Yeah, shut up. I want to hear this.

“In the last few weeks, being without you has become excruciating.” Jeff sighed and grimaced. “I know it comes across as the simple desire for you to warm my bed. And believe me, I
really
want you to do that.” He gave her a look full of wide-eyed desperation, and she laughed.

“But I also want you around me all the time. I want to share my life with you, Julianna. I know being the Successor makes dating hell. Believe me, I
know
!” He ran a hand through his hair. “But you’re here now, and you’ve passed all the Luna tests. I want you. Hell, I’ve wanted you since well before I should have. I only avoided you because I thought you were human.”

He stopped then and frowned a little, and dread skittered through her. “Speaking of which, why
did
I think you were human? You even smelled human.”

Julianna pulled her hands out of his, wrapping her arms around herself. Jeff let her go, but his frown deepened and trepidation settled into a leaden weight in her stomach.

What could she tell him? Her story seemed stupid when she thought about it now. How could she tell him she’d only discovered her Sister form a few months ago? Would he see her as a fraud and a cheat, leading everyone on? He hadn’t told her he loved her, only that she’d gained his heart. Would that change when she answered his question?

Best to do it now before he chooses the wrong female.
Julianna tried to ignore the stab of fear and pain with the idea of Jeff mating with another woman, but her guts twisted.

“You know I was adopted by the Morrises, right?” She tugged the bed clothes straight for something to distract her.

“Yes.”

“They’re human.”

“I know.”

“I was too young to know what that meant. Them being human while I wasn’t. But I learned pretty quickly that human children didn’t play like I did. When I got in terrible trouble at the orphanage, I realized something was wrong.” She rubbed her knees with her fingers. “I suppressed my Moon Singer tendencies to fit in. In the interest of stability, I started acting different and ended up thinking and acting human. I didn’t realize there was any other way to be until a few months ago.”

Julianna raised her gaze to Jeff, but he wore a closed expression, a stoic mask like his father’s. Unease stabbed her, and she rose from the bed, wishing she had armor against the coming loss.

“I didn’t learn I was
west of left field
until just after my thirty-sixth birthday, three months ago. I don’t know why it happened then. Maybe it was because my old life had fallen apart and I had to start over.” Misery nipped at her thoughts as she leaned against the vanity with her chin on her chest. “When I got back to town, I didn’t even know I wasn’t the only one. I thought everyone here was human, and I’d have to hide from them. And from you.”

Tears gathered at the backs of her eyes, but she held them in. “The night your dad gave me the token, I realized how many Moon Singers lived in Callowwood and had lived here while I was growing up. I hadn’t had a clue! Everything I know about being
west of left field
I learned from Sebrina over the last couple of months. I’m a novice, Jeff, a rookie!”

She sighed and shook her head, staring at her toes. “I can understand if this disqualifies me from being Luna. No one wants a leader who’s inexperienced at being her true self. I’ve learned a lot and tried to put everything into practice without giving away how ignorant I am, but I’m bound to make a mistake at some point, and that mistake could get someone in trouble. Mainly me.”

Silence filled the room for several breaths. Julianna’s heart sank, and ice settled into her veins.
I’ve just lost the one man who means everything to me.
But she couldn’t lie to him about this. He needed to know how pathetic she was.

“Let me get this straight.” Jeff crossed his arms over his chest. “You came home to Callowwood despite learning you’re actually
west of left field
, with no idea that the pack was here. Then you were picked as a Luna candidate, passing all seven of the tests for Luna on this little knowledge?” She nodded. “Holy shit, Julianna, do you know how amazing you are?”

“What?”

“Most rookies, as you call yourself, would’ve panicked, run, or just refused to be a candidate.” Jeff rose and sauntered across the room to her, grabbing her shoulders. “You’ve been thrown to the wolves, literally, and still managed to come out on top. Disqualified? Hell, no! I think that makes you far and above the best candidate for Luna.”

Julianna searched his face for understanding, and his intense expression softened.

“Julianna, you’re my True Mate, whether you learned about it when you were a kid or last Tuesday. The other requirements were put on you by the pack, and you passed them with flying colors.” He brushed her cheek with his fingers. “At the choosing ceremony, I’m going to pick you as my Luna, even if the others have passed the tests. You’ve passed them and you’re my Mate. I love you as you are, Julianna. Your ability to adapt on the fly only makes you more desirable as a Luna, not less.”

Jeff kissed her so sweetly a little sob escaped. Relief poured through her right along with the arousal, and she nestled into his embrace. He wrapped her in his arms and held her against his chest, the soft thump of his heartbeat in sync with her own.

“I love you, Julianna,” he whispered against her hair.

“Really?” She winced the moment the words left her mouth.

Jeff chuckled and drew back to look her in the eyes.

“Yes, really.” A stupid grin stretched her lips, and he laughed again “Now, I better get out of here before we both throw caution to the winds and consummate the mating bond.”

“I can’t tempt you a little?” Julianna stretched her arms above her head until her breasts pressed against her tight shirt.

“You tempt me
a lot
.” Julianna dropped her gaze to his groin and smiled at the evidence of his words. “But you’ve already told me no once, and I’ll try to remember it. I’ll see you tomorrow at the bar.”

“Not tonight?”

Jeff shook his head. “No, take some time off. You deserve it after last night, and I definitely shouldn’t be around you until I can make my choice public. I’m barely holding back as it is. In fact, it might be wise if you took the next two days off.”

Julianna sighed in disappointment, and he gave her a rueful smile. “I’m right there with you, but now that you’ve passed the tests and the full moon’s only a week away, my control is shot. I won’t be able to hold back my Brother. Hell, I don’t want to now. So I’ll see you here at seven o’clock on Friday night. The attire is formal.”

“Formal? What for?” She smacked her forehead. “The choosing ceremony. Right.”

She grabbed her purse and stuffed her feet into her shoes, telling herself she’d be fine without seeing Jeff for two days.

Yeah, right. And I’m really a were-poodle.

Jeff’s fingers on her shoulder reminded her he hadn’t left her room.

“Be sure to wear this.” He lifted her wrist where she’d tied the wolf’s head token. “It’s supposed to be displayed prominently during the ceremony.”

She shivered with the sense of restrained power emanating from his body. The growl in his voice called to her and seduced her. She wanted him, and she wanted him now.

This is your Mate. Take him!

Soon
, she promised, tearing herself away.

“I’ll remember to make sure it’s visible.” He nodded, his eyes flaring with the same lust coursing through her. Blowing her a kiss, he strode out the door.

When it closed behind him, she remembered she had no car.

How the heck am I going to get home?

Truth and Consequences

Julianna asked Tawny for a ride back to the bar so she could get her car. Jeff’s sister vibrated with excitement over Julianna’s success in the tests and chattered the whole way to the bar. Julianna had been concerned everyone could scent the intimacy she’d shared with Jeff, but Tawny hadn’t said anything about it. Cautious relief released the tension in her shoulders, and her mind returned to the thoughts Jeff had interrupted when he’d come into her room.

I know I’m missing something.

“Tawny, can I ask a favor of you?”

“Sure. What?”

“I don’t think I have anything to wear for the ceremony. Well, nothing formal enough. Can you come with me today and help me find something worth wearing in front of the whole pack on Friday?”

Tawny smiled brilliantly. “I’d be honored.”

“Good. Thanks.” Julianna bit her lip pensively, pieces of the picture falling into place. “I want to talk to you about something that’s bugging me. I need the perspective of someone who’s more familiar with the pack than I am.”

“Okay.” Tawny raised her eyebrows. “What is it?”

“It seems obvious that Ms. Solaris is behind the attacks on me, right?”

“Right.”

“We know she’s from LA, and Baldy Tattoo wore an old LA Raiders hat.” Julianna shrugged. “Lots of people like the Raiders, though, so that isn’t much of a clue. Still, you heard that conversation the night Baldy Tattoo grabbed me. We can assume she’s involved, but here’s the thing that’s bugging me. While it appears Ms. Solaris is responsible, I think there may be another player we have to consider.”