Radiance (36 page)

“Brie.  Don’t go.  Please don’t go.” 

She walked to him and pulled him down for a kiss.  “If I stay now, I really
am
a whore, Elijah.  I don’t want to be that.  Don’t ask me to.  I love you.  I love both of you so much and I don’t regret it…not one minute.” 

Running her fingers through Harper’s black hair, she kissed his forehead.  “He may not love you more than I do but he’s loved you
longer
and he
needs
you more.  Love him.  Keep him safe.”  She gave Elijah another kiss and said against his lips, “I love you.  I’m sorry.” 

She went through the front doors, smiling when she saw Harper’s car still parked on the drive.  Phyllis ran out on the front steps of the house as she walked toward it. 

“Miss…Brie!  Where are you going?” 

“Home, Phyllis.  See you later.” 

Slipping in the back, she smiled at Deville.  “I need a quick ride to the airport, kind sir.  I hope you’re not busy.” 

He grinned and started the engine. 

As they pulled onto the main road, she focused on breathing and calming her heart rate.  Through the drive, the waiting, and the flight, she fought hard to hold it all back.

* * *

Elijah lowered Harper to the floor of the foyer gently and stood over him.  He’d never been so conflicted in his life. 

Watching through the front doors as Brie got in the car and drove away, he felt ripped in half. 

In the dining room, he picked up a glass of water and returned to the main entry where he threw it in Harper’s face. 

Sputtering, he reached his feet and glared at Elijah in fury.  He said nothing as he walked to the stairs. 

“We’re not going after your little obsession?”

“You’re not.” 

Following, he shot back, “I’m going, Elijah.  She doesn’t get to win.” 

Livid, he slammed Harper against the wall by his shoulders.  “You are cruel and petty.  You’ve learned
nothing
.”  He released him and backed away.  “I need to know she arrived, I need to know she’s safe.  Then I will
let her go
because it’s the only thing that will ever be
enough
for you.” 

* * *

Hours later, when Brie exited the airport, she took in New York with a smile.  “I’ve missed you, lovely lady.” 

When the cab let her out in front of the building, she was swarmed by armed men on the sidewalk. 

It scared the hell out of her before it pissed her off. 

“Miss Hernandez.  We’ve been instructed to keep you in sight until Delkin and Eklund arrive.” 

The fucking nerve. 

She put her hand on her hip.  “You’ve seen me, confirmed my safety, and may now wait in your command center for your bosses.  As a grown ass woman, I’ll be going to my apartment, taking a shower, and then a nap.  Have an awesome day, men.” 

Henry and Carlo stood by the front door, unsure what to do. 

“I missed this place.”  She kept her voice cheerful.  “You wouldn’t believe how much
work
I’ve gotten done.”  The men hadn’t dispersed and she glared at them.  “Go away now.” 

Naturally, they did
not
.

Hudson’s car pulled to the curb.  Leonard opened the rear door and her best friend stepped from the back.  Shooting his cuffs, he took in the scene calmly. 

Approaching their little gathering, the men around her stiffened.  Leonard unbuttoned his jacket. 

“Guys…Leonard is Hudson’s Elijah.  Be nice and don’t move suddenly.  Also, he’s dressed so pretty and I don’t want your blood on his suit.”  Squeezing through their ranks, Brie hugged Hudson tight.  “Hey you.” 

Lifting her face, he stared at her for a long moment.  She shook her head as tears filled her eyes.  He kissed her cheek and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. 

“Leonard, you’re with me.  Carlo, please instruct a valet to move the car.” 

“Right away, sir.” 

Over his shoulder, he said, “Tell Delkin she’s fine.  Either of them may call me directly.”  Then he escorted her into the building, through the lobby, and up to the penthouse. 

As they left the box, his phone vibrated.  “Winters.” 

He listened in silence as he walked to the kitchen and poured them glasses of wine. 

“I’ll stop you there, Delkin.  Perhaps she simply missed her own home?  You’ve kept her in the ivory tower for two months.  I’ve seen you more in the last several weeks than Gabriella.  She has many friends here.” 

Clinking their glasses, he took a long sip as she sat on the barstool.  Leonard pulled a deck of cards from his jacket and dealt them a game of rummy. 

“She’s having a glass of wine and playing cards with Leonard.  They’re buddies.”  He grinned.  “Yes, she does make the most
interesting
friends.”  There was another silence as he listened. 

Straightening, he said sharply, “She hasn’t said a
word
nor have I asked.  However, I don’t interrogate my best friend when she returns to her
home
.” 

Hanging up, he took the stairs to the second floor and Brie sighed.  “I swear, Leo.  I’m like a bad penny.” 

“Nonsense.  You’re a
lucky
penny no one knows how to apply properly at first.  You may be an heiress, run in the circles of the uber rich, and have untold opportunity…but I can see you as comfortable in a tiny cottage with unlimited painting supplies and a few nice neighbors.” 

“Thanks.  That’s an awesome thing to say.”  He grinned.

“Gabriella.”  She turned at Hudson’s stern tone.  “Is there anything you’d like to share?”  When she didn’t reply, he sighed.  “What happened to bring you home or your run-in with Harlow Delkin perhaps?” 

“Well,
no
.  I handled it.”  Her eyes narrowed.  “Wait, how do
you
know about Harlow?” 

“Apparently, your security detail takes live feed of situations where you could become…unpredictable.  None of them want to be on the receiving end of Elijah’s wrath if you shake the world and end up hurt.”

“Lord.  They’ve been gone for
weeks
.  I accomplished a shit ton of stuff and it was time to hang out in my own space.”  She swallowed around the partial lie.  “I-I missed my friends, I missed my home, and I didn’t want to run into Harlow and accidentally kick her bratty ass.  When we were kids, she liked to refer to me as Flabby Gabby so this new layer to her personality isn’t exactly surprising.”

Raising a brow, she added, “You had
shitty
taste in women other than Natalia.  For fuck’s
sake
, Hudson.” 

Smiling, he approached and kissed her forehead.  “Harper was putting Elijah in Natalia’s way rather more than I liked.  I thought Harlow was far more hardened than she ended up being.” 

“Totally your effect…and that of your superhuman penis.  She’s a bitch mostly.”  He laughed.  “As for the rest, our time together is o-over.  I’ll be fine.  I haven’t had a chance to process.  I sketched the entire trip to keep my mind occupied.” 

Wiping at tears she resented, she asked cheerfully, “Where’s your lovely wife, by the way?  I’m gonna hug her hard enough to break her.” 

“Darling.”  She glanced up to see Natalia descending in a silk robe.  “I drastically overslept.  I’ve taken your advice too far.” 

Jumping up, she met her at the bottom of the stairs and hugged her as hard as she could. 

“You smell like brown sugar and oranges.  How I’ve
missed
you, Gabriella.” 

“You smell like
Hudson
.  I’ve missed you, too.”  Brie managed to hold back her tears but had a hard time controlling the way her body shook.  “Help me be strong,” she whispered.

“Always, darling.”  Wrapping their arms around each other, they returned to the bar. 

Hudson answered his phone.  “Hmm.  That was quick.” 

Disconnecting, he placed Brie on the barstool and handed her the glass of wine.  “They made excellent time.  Steady.” 

The elevator doors slid open and Leonard moved deliberately to stand behind Brie. 

Elijah and Harper stepped from inside, took in the scene, and walked to her.  Harper had a dark bruise along his jaw and she could see his tension. 

Their eyes slid over her slowly. 

Leaning in, Elijah took a deep breath, growled, and glanced over his shoulder at Hudson.  Her best friend sipped his wine with a wink. 

Setting down her glass, she lifted her shirt, inhaled, and laughed despite the stress she was under.  Shaking her head, she hopped off the barstool, walked around the men, and went to kiss Natalia. 

Bending, she inhaled the fabric across her breasts and confirmed it was coated heavily in Hudson’s cologne. 

“I’ll call you later and that wasn’t nice.  Funny but not nice.” 

Natalia cupped her face.  “Then they must stop acting like you’re a tree in their yard that they can mark whenever they happen to pass.”  She kissed her lips. 

“They
still
don’t quite understand how your heart works.  Don’t you
dare
settle for less than
every
goddamn thing you deserve or I’ll spank your pretty ass myself.” 

Forcing a smile, she hugged Hudson.  “I smell more like you than
you
do.  Love you guys.  I’ll be around.  You have to tell me everything about your honeymoon.” 

“We’re returning to Washington tonight.”  The cold statement from Harper made her still.  “You’ll have to reschedule.” 

“Harper. 
So help me god
.”  The words from Elijah had a clear effect on his lover. 

Brie faced him, her heart heavy that he’d push at her again.  “Perhaps
you
are.  I’m staying in New York.”  He started to speak and she clasped her hands in front of her tightly.  “Submission is the
will
, not the
rules
.  I willingly submit to Elijah but make
no
mistake.  No one
owns
me.”

Swallowing past a painful lump, she said as firmly as she was able, “You’ve made your feelings about me clear, Harper.  I won’t wait around an abandoned estate for weeks waiting for the two of you to show up to fuck me.  I know that’s all you’ve offered from the beginning but I have a life, friends, clients, and a company of my own.  It’s time I get back to them.” 

Grabbing her bag, she walked to the elevator and pushed the button.  “I can
play house
by myself.  I’m not a fucking call girl, damn it.”  Stepping inside, she kept her eyes on the floor. “You didn’t have to
do
this, Harper.  I told you I’d leave when you let me know it was time.  You didn’t have to be cruel.” 

The doors closed and she choked down a sob.  Back in her apartment, she ran a tub and stripped down. 

Sliding into the warm water, she let herself feel the chaos from the last hours.  That Harper treated her in such a way between the three of them was bad enough.  That he’d done it again in front of her
friends
was embarrassing and hurt so much worse. 

It looked like he wasn’t going to let her keep the good memories in the end. 

Brie cried hard. 

Elijah struggled not to physically
hurt
the man he’d sworn to protect.  The man he’d loved more than half his life. 

Natalia stared at Harper with a frown as Brie left the penthouse.  “Do you understand that you are three
couples
as well as a threesome?” 

“We
aren’t
three couples.  We are
one
couple and a threesome when opportunity presents itself.”  Harper straightened his jacket.  “In case you’re wondering, I’m
not
part of the couple.  There is
Elijah
and
Gabriella
.  On occasion, I’m included.” 

His smile was bitter.  “Forgive me, Natalia.  You wouldn’t have stood for that shit either.” 

“You regret less access to Elijah but
not
to Gabriella.”  She sighed.  “Let her go
now
.  This isn’t going to work.” 

To Elijah, she added, “Harper
refuses
to love her despite her obvious love for both of you.  Her safety and happiness are
your
responsibility.  You
have
to let her go.” 

He gave a single nod, the thought of losing Brie caused him unbelievable pain.  He doubted he hid his emotional turmoil.

Hudson raked his hand through black hair, he walked to the elevator and hit the call button.  “You’ve gone too far,
hurt
her badly, Harper.  Now she must save herself.”

Harper raised his chin.  “Gabriella is fine.  We’ll smooth things over and Elijah will have what he so
desperately
wants.” 

Winters snapped.  “She is not fucking
fine
!  Unlike the next woman you’ll bed, Gabriella has class and self-respect.  She was attempting to retain her goddamn dignity.” 

Looking directly into Elijah’s eyes, he added, “You cannot
make him submit
in this.  I’m
truly
sorry for the pain I know this will cause you, Elijah.”  Exhaling roughly, he said, “We’ll help her pick up the pieces.” 

As the doors closed on them, Elijah remained silent. 

“You fucking win.  You’ve made it clear I’m to have no access to you without Gabriella’s presence.”  Harper laughed bitterly and it hurt Elijah’s heart to hear it.  “I concede.  I’ll put everything I am on the line to be able to touch you again.  You choose to blackmail me to receive my consent.  I choose to pay the ransom.” 

“Harper…” 

“I’m
alone
.  I’m fucking trying but you keep me at a distance as if I’m goddamn
new
.”

“I said I will
let her go
.” 

“Elijah…” 

“It’s what you want.  It’s the only way to keep you from repeatedly hurting her.  I’ll break you
both
if I don’t.” 

The elevator opened and he stepped into the lobby, signaling the team.  “Escort Mr. Delkin to his apartment and stay with him.” 

“Elijah!”

He went through the doors and started to run.  He ran for hours.  He ran until he knew he was on the verge of damaging his body. 

Staring out at the river, he gripped the railing and accepted that letting Brie go would be similar to carving out a piece of his flesh.  He was unsure he’d survive it. 

Much like the day his father shattered his violin and made him watch, chained to the wall, as it burned. 

Harper was
not
like his father.  So many mistakes had been made where their relationship was concerned.  Elijah didn’t know how to fix them but he knew one thing was real and true.

Brie would eventually break under the pain of Harper’s methods of retaliation.  He knew the best ways to wound her and lashed out in anger, sadness, and neglect. 

There were
so many
sins at his door.  Brie would be the one that hurt the worst. 

* * *

Harper paced the floor as the Elijah entered the apartment and stilled when he saw the condition he was in. 

Soaked to the skin with sweat and more exhausted than he’d ever seen him. 

“Elijah…”

Without looking at him, he said, “I’m going to shower and talk to Brie.”  The door to his bedroom closed quietly. 

By the time he came out, Harper wondered if he could lose his mind with the worry, the regret, he felt.  Elijah emerged, showered and in clean clothes.  He held his violin case. 

“Elijah…” 

“When I return, it will be done.  Give me time to heal and things will be back to what you need.” 

“Wait.  Wait and let’s…”

“No, Harper.  I waited too long to end it.  I pushed when I should have pulled back.”  Bowing his head, he whispered, “I wish you’d never noticed Brie.  I wish I didn’t know the beauty of her.  I wish she’d never touched me.” 

Then he was gone. 

When he hadn’t returned by morning, Harper texted Natalia for information.  Her immediate response chilled him.  “Elijah left Brie at midnight, she’s with us.  I’m sorry for you, Harper.”

None of the security team had contact with him.  Elijah disconnected from his life and walked away. 

Harper begged every being in the universe to bring him back.

* * *

The knock didn’t surprise Brie.  She opened it to Elijah and stepped back to let him in.  He wouldn’t use the key to do what had to be done.  He placed his violin case on her foyer table. 

As the door clicked shut, she rested her forehead against it. 

“Before you say anything, I know and I understand.”  She swallowed hard.  “You tried to
make
me fit.  I know you wanted it to work and that you didn’t think it would come to this.” 

Turning to him, she took his hand and he gripped her fingers hard.  “I knew Harper wouldn’t accept me and I don’t
blame him
, Elijah.  There were a few times I hoped but…” 

“I’m sorry, Brie.” 

She met his eyes.  “He
never
lied to me.  He
never
pretended.  He was honorable.  I knew the price and I paid it willingly to…to have the memories.” 

Sliding his palm along her neck, he brought her to his chest.  “I won’t ever touch another woman, Brie.” 

“Don’t…” 

“You have my word.”  She hugged him hard and stifled her sob.  “You’re the
only
woman I’ve ever loved.  The only woman I will
ever
love.” 

Fisting his fingers in her hair, he pulled her head back and kissed her.  She held him, shaking apart on the inside, and wished for so many things to be different. 

“Once more, Brie.  Let me love you.” 

Right or wrong, she nodded and he carried her to her bedroom.  Removing his own clothes, he took his time removing hers, worshipping revealed skin. 

When she was naked, he knelt at her feet and hugged her with his face pressed to her stomach. 

Allowing herself the freedom to take everything she could from the last chance she would have, she stroked her fingers through his hair and held him to her. 

Laying her down, Elijah kissed and massaged every inch of her body, front and back. 

She knew he was memorizing her by
touch
and the similarities to the last moments she spent with Natalia and Hudson sent her pain to the bone. 

When he rolled her to her back and slid deep, she sighed in pleasure.  Tears slid silently into her hair but she held his gaze and shared everything she had, all she was, with the only man who’d truly
wanted
it. 

He thrust slowly, steadily as she watched him, touched him, loved him.  Strong hands touched as much of her as he could reach and she soaked up his warmth and the love she knew he wanted to give her but understood why he couldn’t. 

The first climax rolled over her in a gentle wave and she sighed his name.  His arms went around her and held her tight. 

Best hugs ever.

Rolling to his back, he held her while she rode him.  His thumb smoothed over her clit while his cock hit deep, filling her completely.  When she came again, her head dropped back on her shoulders and she prayed she’d survive without him. 

He sat up and lifted her from him, gently placing her on her stomach.  Entering her from behind, he held her and planted kisses on the side of her face as another orgasm stole her ability to hold back her sob. 

On and on Elijah made love to her and Brie somehow loved him more with every touch he gave her to say goodbye. 

When she was sheened with sweat and shaking, he held her tight and fucked her hard. 

The resulting climax made her scream his name, gripping him tight as he filled her with his come.  He never broke eye contact and she whispered, “I’ll always love you, Elijah.” 

“I’ll always love you, Brie.”  Rubbing his face against hers, he told her, “I’ll play for you.” 

She nodded against him and the tears fell faster, harder.  He pulled from her body and she wrapped her arms around herself at the loss. 

From her bathroom, he brought a washcloth and gently cleaned her as he kissed her face. 

Tucking her in snugly, he went to get his violin.  As he played the first notes, he murmured, “Let it carry you to sleep, Brie.” 

For more than hour, he played for her and she fought sleep to watch him, to hear him.  The pleasure he’d given and the emotional upheaval of the day took the choice from her hands. 

The last thing she remembered was the image of Elijah playing his violin naked as he sat on the side of her bed.  It was the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen. 

A beautiful gift from the man who saw her.

* * *

The first rays of sunlight filtered into Brie’s room and she opened her eyes knowing he was gone.  Rubbing her heart, she turned her head. 

Elijah’s violin rested on the pillow.  The combination of the instrument and the note he left on her bedside table made it impossible for her to see to find her phone. 

This belongs with the woman I love.

Forgive me, Brie.

Elijah

On her knees, fumbling for it blindly, she managed to dial.  It rang once before it was answered.  “Please…
please
, Natalia.” 

“I’m coming, darling.” 

Moments later, her friends picked her up from her bedroom floor, helped her dress, and held her while her heart shattered.