RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC (56 page)

“Fucking hell….”

As he begins to soften, he slips out of me. He drops down on
the bed next to me and I crawl into his arms.

“I think you missed me a lot more than you thought.” I
giggle.

“I think so, too. Ain’t leavin’ your side again, babe.”

***Gage***

I slide out of bed, leaving Raven fast asleep. I wouldn’t be
surprised if she slept past noon. After bringing her home last night, we made
love until the sunlight began creeping through the drapes. Despite that, I want
her again. Fighting my urges, I brush my teeth, and then make my way downstairs
to get coffee. Sitting around the breakfast table, I think about our trip to
Florida. Taking out Ramirez was easy enough. His group wasn’t as tight-knit as
he thought. Once he was out of the picture, his boys folded like paper at an
origami festival. Instead of straight up eliminating his operation, Mission
decided to take it over. I want no part of hard drugs so I opted out of a deal.
Ace took him up on the offer, though. Looks like the Dealers and the Snakes
will be in business together for a while. I was right about Mission’s VP; he
became gator food after they took his hand. Ramirez paid for it, though. Both
Dealers chapters made sure of it.

I leave the kitchen and make my way to my office. Maybe an
hour on my punching bag will work out these kinks I have from sitting on my
bike for so long. I tape my hands then start out slowly, picking up speed and
intensity as I get into it.

I’m dripping with sweat when I decide to call it quits, so I
sit on the floor and cool down before returning upstairs for a shower. Baby
doll is still fast asleep so I leave her be. When I walk back into the bedroom,
she stretches, yawns and sits up.

“Hey, doll.”

“Morning,” she says in that sexy, sleep-filled voice.

“Morning? More like afternoon.”

She scrunches her brows together and checks her phone.

“It’s almost two o’ clock! Why didn’t you wake me?”

“Because I thought you needed the sleep.”

I get dressed and leave her there, deciding to make
her
breakfast for a change. I make all her favorites—pancakes, eggs, bacon, and hot
chocolate—then load it all on a tray and bring it up to her. She walks out of
the bathroom, wrapped in a towel. As my eyes travel over her body, I wonder if
there will ever come a day when I look at her and don’t want to fuck her
senseless.

“You made me breakfast?” she asks with a grin.

“Yeah. Come on.”

She dresses quickly and climbs back into bed, leaning over
to kiss me on the cheek.

“Thank you, baby.”

While she eats, I go to the bathroom to get her pre-natal
vitamins. Not that they’ve been working. I need to talk to her again about
going to see a doctor. I’m beginning to think this baby is never going to
happen. In my distraction, I shake the bottle too hard and half the contents
spill into my palm. As I’m replacing the extra ones, I notice a small Ziploc
bag buried under the tablets in the bottle. I pull it out, examining the tiny
pills inside it.
This can’t be a recreational drug. Can it?
Raven couldn’t
have a drug problem without me knowing. I remove one, taking a closer look.
Strange, but it looks just like the ones I threw out a few months ago
—
the
birth control pills.

Fuck. Me.

Now I get it. I understand now why she hasn’t gotten
pregnant. She never stopped taking the shit and has been stringing me along all
this time.
No. That can’t be it
. She wouldn’t do that. She wouldn’t lie
to me. Would she?

I keep my anger in check as I approach her. She better have
a fucking good explanation for this shit. Standing at the foot of the bed, I
hold up the bag so she can see.

“What’s this?”

She looks up and all the blood drains from her face. Guess I
have my answer.
I can’t believe this shit!

“Gage… please. Let me explain,” she begs.

“Explain what? That you’ve been lying to me for
months
?”

She jumps out of bed, hurrying toward me. When she tries to
touch me, I pull away.

“Please—”

“Please what?” I shout. She flinches but it has no effect on
me. “So I was right? These
are
birth control pills?”

“Yes, but—”

“But nothing! How could you? All these months….”

I look away, unable to even fathom the situation I’m in
right now. I toss the pills on the bed and grab my cut as I walk out.

“Gage, please. I need to talk… to tell you….”

I drown her out as I run down the stairs. I just can’t be
around her right now. I hop on my bike, twisting the throttle when I leave the
driveway. I need to get as far away from her as possible. I ride around, no
particular destination in mind, hoping it will clear my mind. It doesn’t. All
it does is give me time and space to brood on what Raven did. She kept it from
me, all the time telling me how much she loved me. I hate to question it, but
does she really love me? How can I believe anything she says now? Everything
she’s said before?

I’m almost out of gas when I decide to head to the
clubhouse. Grabbing a bottle of whiskey from the bar, I ignore everyone and
walk straight to my room. I’m half-way through the bottle when E sticks his
head in.
Why the fuck didn’t I lock the door?

“You okay, man?” he asks.

“Don’t you ever get tired of me telling you to fuck off?”

He takes it as an invitation and enters, closing the door
behind him.

“Not yet. Maybe in a couple decades. What’s going on?”

I take a deep breath, not sure I can even vocalize this shit
yet. She’s been taking those pills, disappointing me repeatedly; killing me
every time she told me “not this month.” E deals with women all day. Maybe he
can shed some light on what the fuck she was thinking. That’s when it occurs to
me; he’s her fucking gynecologist.

“You knew, didn’t you?” I accuse him.

“Knew what?”

“About Raven and those fucking pills!”

“What pills?”

I jump on him and we fall to the floor, grappling as he
tries to protect himself.

“The birth control pills, motherfucker! You prescribed
them!”

He rolls over, climbing on top of me and trying to secure my
hands. I manage to land a punch to his side. He winces, but not to be outdone,
plants one on my jaw.

“Listen to me!” he yells.

He jumps to his feet, and before I can tackle him, he says,
“I didn’t know! I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”

“You don’t?”

“I haven’t seen Raven like that in months. Whatever she got,
she didn’t get from me.”

I lean against the bed, dropping my head back. He sits next
to me and grabs the whiskey bottle, taking a swig.

“She lied, E. She lied to me,” I say in resignation.

“So, what I’m getting here is that the reason there’s been
no baby is because she was still on the pill?”

“Yeah. Found them today. Stashed away in her pre-natal
vitamins. What a joke.”

“Fuck.”

He passes me the bottle and I finish it in one go. I just
need to forget. If it’s even for a few hours, I need to forget everything.

***Raven***

He hasn’t been home in three days. I haven’t heard from him
either, and he hasn’t answered my calls. I don’t know if that’s good or bad. Is
he just giving me space, working out his anger, calming down? Or has he decided
this is an unforgiveable sin and will be back any minute to kick me out? I’ve
been a mess; a big, junk food eating, crying mess. I fucked up, and just when I
decided to make things right, he found out. I really did stop taking the pills
after he threw them out. But then, for some reason, I got scared. I don’t know
why, I just knew I felt this overwhelming fear. I couldn’t be a mother. I don’t
know how… Didn’t even have one until recently. I wasn’t ready, and I was too
chicken shit to tell him, so I didn’t. Now, it’s going to cost me the man I
love; the one person I truly
cannot
live without.

I crawled out of my shell long enough today to call Toni and
Chrissy. They both chewed me out, mostly for not telling them, but also for
going behind Gage’s back. Chrissy asked Ron about him, but all he would say is
that Gage has been staying at the clubhouse. I’m supposed to go to Miami in two
days, and I really don’t want to leave things the way they are. Maybe I should
just postpone the trip. I mean, I can go visit them any time. Gathering
courage, I shower, dress, and drive to the clubhouse. When I walk in, I see him
sitting at the bar, a Hound on his left and another on his right. Two empty
whiskey bottles sit before him, and he’s starting on the third. All the guys
are here, engaged in various activities, so no one pays attention to me. Except
for Razor’s redhead, Cassidy. She wiggles her fingers at me.

“Raven, baby girl!” Rico shouts.

I give him a weak smile but get the feeling his outburst was
more to alert Gage of my presence, than a greeting. Gage turns on his stool,
regarding me with tired, bloodshot eyes as I approach.

“Get lost,” I tell the Hounds.

Holding my stare, Gage pulls one of the girls onto his lap.
I turn to her with murder in my eyes.

“Don’t make me hurt you, bitch.”

She slinks back, looking to Gage for approval. He nods
slowly, still staring at me. He’s never looked at me like this, not even when I
almost crashed the car with him inside. I don’t know how to handle it. His eyes
are cold, unfeeling. I know he’s hurt. I just never thought I’d ever be the one
to cause him such pain.

“Can we talk?”

“Go ahead,” he says flatly, downing another glass of the
liquor. As I look around, I notice everyone’s watching us now. Cassidy seems
especially interested in what’s going on.

“In private?”

He scoffs but motions to the hallway. I precede him, leading
the way to his room. He closes the door behind him and grabs the chair in the
corner, turning it backward and straddling it. I watch him nervously, racking
my brain for the right words to say.

“You haven’t been home.”

His expression doesn’t change, still watching me with those
dead eyes. He doesn’t speak either, just waits for me to continue.

“I didn’t want to leave for Miami without… I didn’t want to
leave things the way they are.”

“Oh? How are
things
, Raven?”

The frigid tone of his voice pierces my heart, and tears
sting my eyes as they begin to form.

“
Don’t
you dare cry. You don’t get to cry,” he
growls.

“I’m sorry! I was scared—”

“And you thought the best thing to do was lie to me? Deceive
me for months?”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“Yeah,” he says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Great job
on that one.”

“Gage…” I step forward but an icy glare stops me in my
tracks. I break down, tears flowing freely down my cheeks. “Please…
please
.
I can’t be without you. I can’t lose you.”

“You lost me the moment you decided to swallow that first
pill.”

That’s the moment my heart stopped beating. He
is
my
heart. Without him, how am I supposed to survive?

“You done talking?” He sneers.

I guess that’s it. There’s nothing left to say. I turn and
walk dejectedly to the door. Without turning around, I softly say, “If you’re
not coming to the house because I’m there… after tomorrow, I won’t be.”

I can’t stay there another day without him, and I can’t keep
him away from his home. I’ll just have to find somewhere to go. Once the door
is closed behind me and I know he can’t see me, I break out in a run. I need to
get out of here. Chopper calls after me as I race through the bar, but I don’t
stop. I get as far as my car before someone grabs me. Turning, I crash into Dr.
E. He pulls me against him, trying to console me. It’s no use. I cry into his
chest, fisting my hands in his shirt.

“It’s okay, Raven.”

“No! No, it’s not.”

“What the hell is going on?” Chopper demands as he
approaches.

“I messed up, Chopper. I… I lied to him. I lied and now he
doesn’t want me anymore.”

“Don’t worry, lil darlin’. I’ll deal with him. Einstein,
take her home. I’ll have one of the boys pick you up.”

“You got it, Chopper.”

Dr. E leads me to the passenger side, buckling me in before
climbing into the driver’s seat. I stare out the window at the passing
landscape, tears blurring my vision. It all fades into insignificance because,
plain as day, is the look in Gage’s eyes when he told me I’d lost him.

It’s over.

***Gage***

What kind of world do I live in where a man can’t drink
and sulk in peace?
Chopper’s been a constant nag in my ear, E won’t stop
texting me even though he’s at work, and Allah’s been playing every break-up
song he can think of. I grab my cut, hop in the Mustang and drive until I see
the first bar. I’ve been trying to push her out of my mind with alcohol, but
it’s not working. The more I drink, the more I think about her. I just keep
going, hoping the next shot will wipe her from my thoughts.

She’s leaving tomorrow. It was only supposed to be for a
week, but now… maybe she’ll just stay with her mother. Even with her gone, I
can’t go back to that house. There are too many memories there. Not that every
fucking place doesn’t have her mark on it. She’s a ghost, haunting me wherever
I go.

Unlike the men at the clubhouse, the bartender leaves me
alone, refilling my shot glass each time I tap the bar. I know I’m going to
need a ride home, so I pull out my phone to text Charger before I’m too fucked
up to do it. I’m interrupted before I can.

“Hi, Gage.”

I turn to the voice and find Cassidy standing next to me.
Great. Just what I need.

“What are you doing here?”

“Um… it’s a public place. I was just leaving when I saw you
sitting here.”

“Razor here with you?”

“No. I’m here alone.”

“Okay. Well… see ya.”

I down another shot, hoping she’ll take the hint.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“Perfect.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” She scoffs. “See you around.”

She walks away and I tap the bar, telling the man to leave
the bottle. A few minutes later, Cassidy returns. Fuck my life.

“Sorry to bother you, but my car won’t start—”

“Call a cab.” I cut her off.

“I just need a jump. I saw your car in the parking lot and
thought you could help me out.”

“Call a cab,” I repeat.

“Please… it’s late and it’ll just be a few minutes, then you
can come back and drink yourself stupid.”

With a deep sigh, I toss some money on the bar and follow
her outside. If it wasn’t for Razor, I’d tell the bitch to fuck off. She leads
me to her car which, incidentally, is parked next to mine. She slides in and
turns the key in the ignition. The engine clicks but doesn’t start.

“I need a new battery.” She shrugs. “The cables are in the
trunk.”

She pops it, and I walk to the back of the car to retrieve
them. As I lean in, someone snatches my Glock from my waist. Before I can
react, bolts of electricity radiate from my side, and zing through my body.
Every muscle locks up and I fall forward into the trunk. With my already
alcohol-dulled senses, and being fucking electrocuted, it takes me a while to
grasp the situation. Enough time for whoever’s behind me to stick me in the
trunk. I look up and see Cassidy’s devious smile before she jams a Taser into
my ribs.

***

By the time we stop driving, my mind has cleared a bit. I
tried to unlock it, and kick out the tail lights but it’s a tiny ass trunk and
I could barely move. I knew having that bitch hanging around was a mistake. I’m
going to fucking kill Razor when I get out of here.

“I’m going to open the trunk,” her voice comes from outside.
“But I have your gun and I know how to use it. Don’t try anything funny.”

When it pops open, I carefully climb out. She’s standing a
few feet away, pointing my own fucking gun at me. I look around, and we’re at a
cabin somewhere in the goddamn woods.

“I guess your battery is just fine.”

“Lucky for me, you didn’t check it before you went for the
cable.”

“What’s going on, Cassidy? I thought we settled this shit
before.”

“You settled. I didn’t.”

She jerks the gun to her left, indicating I should move. I
turn and make my way toward the cabin. A quick look verifies there are no other
buildings nearby. The door is open so I step inside. It looks
lived
in
;
not like this is a spur of the moment thing.

“You live here?” I ask.

“I’ve been fixing it up for us,” she answers excitedly.

“And how long you been doing that?”

“A while. I was just waiting for you to realize… Anyway,
Raven’s out of the picture. We can be together now.”

I spin to face her. I haven’t been worried about myself so
far, but just the mention of her name and I’m instantly on alert. “What do you
mean ‘out of the picture’?”

“You broke up. I saw everything last night.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. She jerks the gun again,
directing me to another room. I walk in and feel like I’ve stepped into a BDSM
dungeon. There’s a single chair in the center, surrounded by various whips and
crops. A table on one side is laden with blindfolds, handcuffs, and zip ties.
She better not fucking think she’s going to turn me into some kind of sex
slave.

“Sit,” she instructs me.

When I do, she tosses two zip ties at me. “Secure your
ankles to the chair’s legs.”

I watch her while I fasten them, leaving some wiggle room.
She grabs one of the handcuffs and moves behind me.

“Give me your hands.”

Once again, I do as she says. She clamps them around my
wrists, then kneels before me, pulling the zip ties tighter.

“There,” she says with a smile.

She’s crazier than I thought if she believes this little
plan of hers is going to work. It will take Tek two seconds to find me.
Reaching into my pocket, she pulls out my cell phone and turns it off. Fuck.

“We don’t want any interruptions now, do we?”

“What do you think’s going to happen, Cassidy? Just because
Raven’s out of the picture, doesn’t mean you’re in.”

“Why?” She loses the smile. “What does she have that I
don’t?”

“She’s not fucking mental.”

“I had you first!” she screams. “You’re mine!”

“What about Razor?”

“He was a distraction… and a way to be close to you. You’re
the only one I’ve ever wanted.”

“And you think you’re going to get me by kidnapping me?”

“I just need you to sit still long enough to talk to me… so
you’ll see….”

“See what?” I ask.

“That I love you.”

I chuckle even though nothing’s funny. Love. That’s a huge
fucking joke. If I never hear that word again it will be too soon.

“Just let me go, Cassidy. I’ll even be willing to forget all
this shit if I never see you again.”

“But—”

“No buts. I don’t want you… never did. That’s not gonna
change because you tied me to a chair.”

She places the Glock and her purse on the table, then picks
up an object. As she walks toward me, I see it’s a switchblade. The blade
extends as a maniacal grin spreads across her lips.

“Oh, I can be
very
persuasive.”