RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC (58 page)

***Raven***

A soft touch alerts me to someone else’s presence in the
room. I turn to my other side and find Dani in bed with me.

“Hey, pumpkin,” I say softly.

“Do you feel better?”

“I’m not really sick. Just a little sad.”

She sits Indian style, her little blue eyes softening.

“Is it Mr. Gage? Do you miss him?”

“Yeah, I do.”

I’m finally at the point where I don’t break down in a fit
of tears whenever I think about him or hear his name. That doesn’t matter
because I’m still dead inside. Sometimes I miss him so much, I feel like I
can’t breathe. The day after he fucked me and chased me away, I left Stony
View. I’m not even mad at him. Everything he said was out of hurt and anger,
and I deserved it. The angry sex was amazing, but the one thing I won’t forget
from that night, is the way he looked at me as he stood at the bathroom door
—
with
disgust. That was almost a month ago. I came to Miami, and for the most part,
I’ve been locked away in my bedroom. Other than school, I haven’t done much. I
haven’t spoken to him since then, either. I pick up the phone every day to call
him but chicken out. If he wanted to talk to me, he would call. I don’t even
know if he has the same number. I kept mine; kept the phone he gave me. That,
and the tattoo on my back are the only physical reminders I have of him. I
couldn’t take anything else; didn’t think I had the right to. I miss my “12
Gage” necklace the most. It’s the first thing he gave me that really said I was
his
.

“Call him… on the computer so you can see him, too,” Dani
suggests.

“I’d like that. But… he’s kinda mad at me. I don’t think
he’d talk to me.”

“Why would he be mad at you?”

“I did something I shouldn’t have.”

“Did you say you’re sorry?” she asks as she snuggles up to
me. “Mommy always makes me apologize, even when I don’t want to.”

“I did.”

“And he didn’t forgive you?”

“No,” I whisper. “He didn’t.”

“Ugh! Boys are so dumb!”

I giggle softly, wrapping my arm around her. “They can be…
sometimes.”

“I’m never getting married. When I can get a job, I’ll make
my own money, and live all by myself.”

“You’ll need someone to talk to.”

“I have my dollies.” She turns to face me and stares into my
eyes with a loving smile. “And I have you, my big sister.”

I pull her closer, kissing her forehead.
Oh, to be seven
years old and innocent again
.

“Yeah. You do.”

***Gage***

I walk into the house and it feels strange. The last time I
stepped foot in here, it felt like a home. Now it’s just four walls and a roof.
I haven’t been here since the day I walked out. I couldn’t, knowing she wasn’t
here. The day she left, Charger brought her car to the clubhouse and dropped
the key in my palm. I couldn’t bear to look at it, so I had Motor take it to
the warehouse where I store all of mine. I don’t know what the hell to do with
it. Painting it won’t make fuck of a difference, and I can’t bring myself to
sell it. It’s just another reminder of her. Knowing she’s tatted on my back is
one thing. I don’t really have to see it. Her name on my knuckles is another
thing altogether. I see it every day. I
stare
at it every day, wondering
if I should get it covered up. It’s a relic of the life I thought I could have…
the one I never will. But I won’t get rid of it. It’s like the car
—
I’ll
know what’s really underneath. Besides, it might keep me from making the
mistake of trusting another woman again.

This last month, I buried myself in work and my flying
lessons to try and keep her off my mind. I slept in my offices at the Kitty or
Scythe most nights. Others, I crashed at the clubhouse. I only came here today
to get some stuff to take back with me. That, and Allah was working my last
nerve. I swear I’m going to empty my clip into his equipment. I finally had it
when he played “Here Without You” by 3 Doors Down. In his own
passive-aggressive way, he’s the only one to say anything, even if it’s through
music. Everyone’s pretty much left me alone. Even E. Chopper still shoots me
dirty looks but I ignore him. Especially when he tells everyone—when I’m in
earshot—how he spoke to his “lil darlin’,” and how he keeps telling her to come
home. Nita and Ellen barely speak to me, like Raven’s not the one who did
me
dirty.

I won’t lie. I
can’t
lie. I miss her. I miss her so
much my chest aches when I think of her. I put up a front for everyone but I’m
pretty sure they all know I’m dying inside. I don’t know which is worse; going
to sleep or waking up without her in my arms. I haven’t even been on my bike
much. Without her behind me, it seems pointless. She showed me what it meant to
love and be loved. Now that she’s gone, I feel empty. Every time I pick up the
phone to call her, I end up tossing it aside. There’s no way she’d want to talk
to me after how I treated her that night. I was angry, but I had no right to
say, or do what I did.

With a sigh, I trudge up the stairs to the bedroom. The bed
is made and everything is in its place. The film of dust on the furniture is
the only indication that no one’s been here in a while. I drop my duffle on the
bed and head to the closet. Her half is empty, her cut the only thing
remaining. It hangs there next to my shirts, taunting me. I slip it off the
hanger, trailing my thumbs over the patch as I stare down at it. She’s the only
one I ever thought of giving it to, and she’s the only one who’ll ever receive
it. There’s no way I’m going down that road again with another woman. I toss it
on the bed, intending to get rid of it.

I remove some clothes and stuff them in the bag. I notice a
gift box on the closet floor, and throw it on the bed, too. The lid falls off,
and a helmet rolls out. I pick it up, inspecting the art work. The face of the
reaper on my car has been painted on the outer shell and visor, and the club
logo is on the back. Raven’s tiny signature is on the side. Fuck. She did this
for me. She customized a fucking helmet with her own hands. How fucking cool is
that? Shit. I grab my chest, trying to soothe the sudden ache. Fuck that. This
isn’t my fault. Shaking away the feelings, I drop it on the bed.

On my way to the bathroom, I glance at the dresser and see
her jewelry box sitting there.
Why would she leave that?
I pick it up,
flipping it open as I move to perch on the edge of the bed. Every piece of
jewelry I ever gave her is sitting inside. She
would
be the one woman
who didn’t keep jewelry after a break-up. Removing the “12 Gage” necklace, I
stare at our names etched into the pendant, and think about the day I gave it
to her. I’d already decided I was going to claim her. I picked up her cut the
next fucking day. At the time, I just didn’t realize how much she really meant
to me. She was always so proud to wear it, even though it’s nothing flashy
—
just
a flattened base of a shotgun shell with our names. Still, she wore it like it
was a diamond. Same thing with the bow ring. She never took them off. 

Her engagement ring. The day I gave it to her, I went down
on my fucking knee and slipped it on her finger. She was so happy. At least I
thought she was. I pick up the charm bracelet and brush my thumb across the
little heart. I gave that one to her the same day I gave her the ring. They
were both supposed to be reminders of how much I loved her; how much I wanted
to be with her. Too bad they didn’t work.

I really thought she was perfect. She’s gorgeous, smart, funny…
although she has a smart mouth, it was cute. She’s a good girl who isn’t afraid
to get her hands dirty. She’s supportive; I have my Private Pilot License as
proof of that. She didn’t give me shit about the MC, or anything else as a
matter of fact. Not to mention she loves to fuck as much as I do. Even if I
came home late and she was asleep, all I had to do was tap her shoulder and she
rolled over. With a woman like that, I thought I’d died and gone to Heaven.

She said she was scared. Now that I’ve thought about it—and
I’ve had a lot of time to think about it—she was right to be. There were
reasons I never wanted any kids before I met her. I guess I deserve some of the
blame, too. I never asked her what she wanted. I told her how it was going to
be and that was that. What makes me mad is that she didn’t talk to me. Instead,
she behaved like a child, hiding it from me. Then again, she’s so young.
Sometimes I forget she still has a lot of growing up to do.

I go around the bracelet and each charm, remembering every
day, every event they represent. The bike
—
that first day she climbed on
the back of mine and wrapped her arms around me. Subconsciously, I think I knew
right then she was meant to be there. The grill. I smile as I think about the
first time I saw her, and her sassy mouth that made me want to fuck the
attitude right out of her. The monkey. I remember sitting on her couch that
night, watching TV and eating monkey bread. I think that was the first time I
realized she was mine; that I
wanted
her to be mine. And fuck it, she
is. She
still
is. I can’t go on living like this, and I
won’t
go
back to the way I was before her. I look over at her cut and the words on the
rockers jump out at me
—
“Property of Reaper.”

She’s
mine
.

***Raven***

“Raven?”

With a blank stare, I turn to the boy who called my name.
He’s been yammering on for God knows how long, and I just tuned him out,
staring at the pool the entire time. I promised Laurelyn I would try to enjoy
myself, and I am. I’m trying. This dude is just boring me to death. When she
told me about her Labor Day weekend activities, I groaned out loud. It’s
something she and Daniel do annually, but this year, she’s decided to show me
off. I also think she invited everyone she knew who has a son my age. Mr.
Boring here is just one in a long line today.

“Sorry, what was that?” I ask.

“I asked where you lived before this.”

“Georgia,” I answer in a distant voice.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just… this is not really my scene.”

“Ahh.” He nods in acceptance. “I understand.” I finish my
drink and he reaches for my glass. “Let me refresh that for you.”

“Thanks.”

When he walks away, Toni comes over, touching my shoulder.

“How different is this?” she asks. “I think I prefer the
outlaw bikers.”

“Tell me about it. But… I said I’d try so here I am.”

Mr. Boring—I think his name is Brett—returns with my drink,
and I give him a smile in thanks. Out of nowhere, “Kissin’ On My Tattoos”
blares from inside the house. The band Laurelyn hired stops playing, and
everyone turns in the direction of the music. My glass slips from my fingers,
shattering to pieces on the concrete.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” I ask Toni.

“Yep. I think I summoned them or some shit.”

Walking out to the backyard, dressed in full biker gear, is
Gage, and pretty much the entire MC. Allah has a boom box on his shoulder, and
a face splitting grin. I look back to Gage. His eyes are locked on me as he
makes his way through the whispering crowd. I can’t believe he’s here.
What
is
he doing here?

When he stands in front of me, I think I stop breathing. I
stare at him, watching, waiting to see what will happen. He looks to my left
with a scowl.

“Get your fuckin’ hands off my woman,” he growls.

Brett’s hand drops from where it rested on the small of my
back. I hadn’t even realized it was there.

“Your woman?”

I jerk my head in Brett’s direction, astounded he’d question
Gage. I didn’t think he had it in him. Then again, I wouldn’t have thought
anyone did.

“Did I stutter, motherfucker?” Gage asks, moving toward
Brett. Some of the other guys move forward, too, but I think it’s more of a
scare tactic than anything.

“No. It’s just that I’ve been talking to Raven for a while
and…” He smirks. “She hasn’t mentioned you.”

Holy shit. This boy has a death wish. Before Gage can bash
his skull in, I jump between them.

“Please… Don’t make a bigger scene than you already have.”

I watch the muscles in his jaw work, as he most likely plans
Brett’s demise. His eyes finally meet mine, and slowly, his expression changes
from furious to determined. Grabbing my hand, he begins pulling me toward the
house. I follow, still in shock that he’s really here. I meet Laurelyn’s
concerned gaze and nod, indicating everything’s okay.

“Where’s your room?” Gage asks.

I raise a trembling finger toward the stairs. Before we
climb the first step, Dani stops us.

“Forgive her, Mr. Gage. She’s sad that she made you angry.”

He tips his head to the side, drawing his brows together as
he stares down at her. After a dip of his head, he continues up the stairs.

“Which one?”

“The one at the end,” I answer, not sure how I found my
voice. He lets me enter first, closing the door behind him. My heart rejoices
at the sight of him. He’s here. He walked in to
our
song. Still, I try
not to get my hopes up.

“You’re here,” I say, my voice coming out shaky. All I want
to do is run into his arms but I stay rooted to the spot.

“I came to take you home, Raven.”

“Home?”

“
Home
. With me. Where you belong.”

A tingly sensation runs through my body.
He came for me.
He wants me back!

“Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“I want
you
.” He steps closer. “I tried, Raven. I
tried but… I can’t be without you, either.”

“Gage….”

For the first time in weeks, I can feel my heart beating.

“We both did some shit,” he continues. “But I think we can
get past it. Forgiveness is all a part of being in love, right?”

“Right.”

“And I
do
love you, Raven. I forgive you. Pushing you
away only showed me that…” He shrugs, shaking his head. “I’m just a fraction of
a man without you. You complete me.” 

Tentatively, I close the distance between us and place my
hands on his chest, tears spilling onto my cheeks. God knows I feel the same
about him. Grasping my chin, he tips my face up to his.

“I’m sorry, baby doll. What I did that night….”

“You were a dick.”

“I was. I shouldn’t—”

“But you’re
my
dick.”

He sighs deeply as he wraps his arms around me. I bury my
face in his chest, breathing in his scent.
God, I missed him
. He reaches
into his pocket, and I pull back to observe him. He removes my ring, rubbing
his thumb across the band as he stares down at it.

“I found this on the dresser yesterday. Made me realize
where it really belongs.”

“You still want to marry me?”

“If you still want to marry me.”

“I do, Gage. More than anything.”

He slips it on my finger and encloses my hand in his, before
reaching into his pocket again. This time he comes up with my bracelet.

“No more secrets, Raven,” he says as he clasps it around my
wrist. “No lies. Got it?”

I step away from him, meeting his confused stare. Taking a
deep breath, I prepare myself.

“I have something to tell you.”

“What?” he asks, apprehension in his eyes.

“I promise I only found out a few days ago, and I was going
to tell you when I knew for sure.”

“Tell me what?”

He moves closer.

“I’m… I’m pregnant.”

“What?”

“I missed my period and I took three tests. I made a
doctor’s appointment, but I’m pretty sure. I’m pregnant.”

“But… how?”

“That last night.”

His gaze drifts down to my stomach.

“You weren’t still taking the pills?”

“No,” I answer. “Not after you found them.”

He places his hand on my stomach, his expression
incredulous.

“You’re pregnant.”

“Yes.”

He reaches for my shirt, frantically undoing the buttons.
When that’s going too slowly for him, he grabs the sides, and buttons go flying
all over the room as he yanks them apart. He falls to his knees, placing his
forehead on my stomach.

“My baby?”

“
Our
baby,” I correct him.

Placing a soft kiss above my navel, he pulls me closer. I
run my fingers through his hair, moaning as he continues to drop little kisses
on my skin. He reaches under my skirt, pulling my panties down my legs. Leaving
them around my ankles, he reaches back up to circle my clit with his thumb. I
moan, fisting my hand in his hair. With his free hand, he pushes my skirt out
of the way and presses his nose to my mound, taking a deep breath.

“Fuck. It’s been too long. I need you, baby doll.”

He rises, lifting me in his arms and taking me to the bed.
After he lays me down, I slide his cut off his shoulders and reach for his
shirt. I need to feel his skin on mine. He tosses it aside, pulling me to the
edge of the bed as he falls to his knees once more. Removing my panties, he
makes them join his discarded clothes. I cry out at the first lick. It feels
like it’s been forever since he’s touched me. By our standards, I guess it has
been. His tongue swirls on my clit as he slips a finger inside me.

“My pussy,” he mumbles.

“Please, Gage. I can’t wait anymore.”

“You want my dick, babe?”

“No.” He leans over me, a brow raised. “I want
my
dick.”

His lips curl up in a smirk, and without argument, he gives
me what I asked for. I grab his shoulders as he slides inside me.

“Just like that, baby doll,” he says before burying his face
in my neck. “I’m home.”

He begins to move and I wrap my legs around his hips, my
nails skating across his back.

“Kiss me,” I beg.

As his lips connect with mine, I moan into his mouth.

I have my Gage back. I have my
heart
back.

“I love you, Gage.”

“I love you, too, Raven.”