RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC (9 page)

“Raven.”

Holy shit, my name sounds amazing coming from him. He moans
as he kisses my neck. His tongue swirls, and my muscles clench. God, I want him
to touch me there. He starts to suck on my neck and my eyes roll back in my
head. For just a second, a clear thought enters my mind.

“No marks.”

He moves down and latches on to my stomach, pulling at my
skin and sinking his teeth in. My stomach muscles lock up.

“Gage!”

“That’s it. Say my name, Raven.”

He comes back to my lips and I roll over, putting him
beneath me. I sit up and just take him in. He’s breathing just as heavily as I
am, and his pupils are dilated. The color of his eyes is even more intense. The
pendant of his necklace—a flattened, brass base of a shotgun shell—lies on his
chest, with the inscription “12 Gage.”

I study the tattoos covering his chest and arms. On his left
arm, the reaper makes another appearance, the handle of his scythe extending
all the way down to his wrist. On either side of the blade are the words, “I
did not come to bring peace, but a sword.” On his right arm, there’s a twelve
gauge, eight-seventy pump-action shotgun, with a bullet coming out of the
barrel. The name of his club sits proudly on his sternum in a semi-circle from
one shoulder to the next, the logo on his left pectoral. On his sides, there
are two Glocks that look like they’re tucked into his waist. “Death before
disloyalty” is in bold letters on his stomach between the guns. Among the tats,
I also notice a few scars, some of which look like gunshot wounds. With his
protruding pecs, flat stomach, and strong arms, he’s one smoking-hot, hunk of a
man. A real thirst trap.

I lean forward and kiss his neck, working my way back to his
lips. As I’m treated to another of his delicious kisses, he slips his fingers
beneath my top. I’m startled by a vibration on my thigh and I pull back. He
looks up at me, takes a deep breath, and shakes his head.

“Fuck!” He rolls from under me and jumps off the bed. “The
fuck am I doing?”

He removes two phones from his pocket, tosses one on the
bed, and answers the other. His back is to me and I see it’s free of tattoos. I
was expecting to see more. He hangs up and turns to me, and I get ready for
round two. Instead, he picks up his shirt and sighs.

“I better take you home.”

I glance over at her. Her head is turned away from me, and
the hoodie is blocking her face. She’s been quiet ever since we left the
clubhouse. “Are you awake?”

“Yes,” she answers softly.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Are you angry?”

“What is this, twenty questions?”

“You’re just real quiet is all.”

“I’m fine.”

I’m such a dumbass. Why did I take her there? I should have
known I couldn’t trust myself to be alone with her.

“I’m sorry. I got carried away. I shouldn’t have let things
go that far.”

“You don’t need to be. It’s not like I asked you to stop. I
wanted it, too.”

Fuck. Why did she have to say that? My dick is still hard
and aching like a motherfucker. I need to find somewhere to bury this bone
fast.

“How many people have you killed?”

Her question startles me. “What? Why would you ask me that?”

“Your nickname is Reaper… the whole reaper theme… plus, with
everything I’ve heard about you, doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.”

She finally turns to look at me, but I can’t look at her.
This is just a reminder of why I should stay away from her.

“It’s okay. I’m not scared or anything. You don’t have to
answer if you don’t want to. As a matter of fact, don’t. I’m sorry.”

She turns away again and stares out the window. This isn’t
something I talk to women about. The only person I even really talk to is E.
We’ve known each other since we were kids, so he knows me better than anyone. I
trust him. Can I trust her? I barely know her, so why do I feel like I can?

“You don’t want to know, Raven.”

She turns to me once more, expecting me to continue.

“As soon as I got my license, my dad bought me a Harley and
drafted me into the club. I was the president’s kid, so I didn’t even join as a
prospect. He made me his Sergeant and taught me everything he knew.”

“Sergeant?”

“Sergeant at Arms… an enforcer, if you will… security.”

“Weren’t you a bit young for that?”

“I grew up real quick.”

I remember the gun and shooting lessons. Killing lessons,
really—every possible way to kill a man and get rid of the body. While everyone
else my age was filling out college applications, I was burying bodies in the
woods.

“Did you want to be in the club?”

“A part of me did. Another part of me wanted something
else.”

“What?”

“I wanted to be a pilot. Was planning on joining the Air
Force after graduation.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“It was just a dream. Had to accept reality.”

“‘Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent
one’.”

I turn to her, trying to keep the astonishment from my eyes.
“You read a lot, don’t you? I don’t know any girls your age quoting Einstein.
Hell, I don’t know any
my
age.”

“I love reading, love learning new things. Seems like you
read a lot, too.”

“Side effect of having a brainiac for a best friend.”

“Dr. Emerson?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“I know it’s more than that. You can’t fool me.”

“I can’t?”

“No.”

She’s right, of course. It’s more than E’s influence. I
really did want to be a pilot. I took the right classes, studied my ass off,
and graduated with a 4.0 GPA. E’s the one who convinced me to get a business
degree when I told him all the plans I had for the MC. Because of my duties
with the club, I couldn’t go to a traditional college, so I got an Associate’s
degree from a local community college. Sometimes I still wonder what would have
happened if I’d joined the Air Force instead of the club.

“Okay, you got me. I’m secretly a nerd.”

“Not a nerd, but smarter than you lead people to believe.”

“You got me all figured out, huh?”

“Well, you wanted to be a pilot, so you must have been
pretty good in school. That doesn’t just go away. You probably have a degree or
something, but you’re hiding behind this Reaper persona.”

What the fuck?
People who have been around me for
years haven’t figured that out and she does after a few conversations? Not even
Chopper knows. The only ones who do are E and Ellen.

“What makes you think that?”

She raises a shoulder in a shrug.

“How old are you?”

“Thirty-two.”

“Oh.”

“What… you think I’m too old for you?”

“No, just wondering. I don’t really know anything about
you.”

“True. There’s a lot we don’t know about each other, but we
can learn.”

I reach over, take her hand, and stare into her eyes. She
averts her gaze and pulls her hand from mine nervously.

“I like your tattoos.”

She effectively changes the subject, so I place my hand back
on the wheel. “Thanks.”

“I was surprised you don’t have any on your back.”

“It’s kind of a club thing. The back is reserved for our old
ladies.”

“Old lady… is that like a girlfriend?”

“Yeah, or wife.”

“So, you don’t have one?”

“No, Raven. If I did, you wouldn’t be here.”

“Don’t you want one?”

Damn it. I should have known this would happen. She probably
thinks this is going somewhere. I need to nip it in the bud.

“Don’t worry. I don’t have any grand ideas about you. I know
exactly what you want from me.”

“I’m not that man, Raven. You want a good fuck, you come see
me. I don’t date. I don’t do romance or relationships, and I certainly don’t do
love.”

“You don’t need to convince me. Besides, I have a
boyfriend.”

The mere mention of the word makes my blood boil. I don’t
even know why. I just can’t stand the thought of someone else touching her.
“Are you fucking him?”

“What? No!”

I pull into her driveway and shut the car off. There are a
few things we need to get straight.

“When you said you’ve done some things… what did you mean?”

She takes a deep breath and rolls her eyes.

“If you’re asking me if I’m virgin, then the answer is yes.”

Fuck. A virgin. My dick jumps. I can just imagine how tight
she’ll be. “It’s mine, Raven. Wait for me.”

She turns to me, her expression incredulous.

“What?”

“I want to be your first. Say you’ll wait for me.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Maybe, but it’s mine.”

“My virginity is not something you can
claim
,” she
says indignantly.

“But I
am
claiming it. I want to see the look on your
face when I slide inside you for the first time. I want to hear you scream my
name when you come. I’m going to be your first, Raven. It’s
mine
.”

The anger drains from her face and her breathing gets
ragged. I’ve got her.

“I want you to do something for me.”

“What?”

“I want you to touch yourself every night.”

She swallows hard then whispers, “Why?”

“I want you to get used to being touched, to get yourself
ready for me.”

“No. I can’t.”

“You can. You want me, too. I don’t know why you keep
fighting me.”

“I like you, and there’s no doubt we have a strong physical
attraction, but that’s all it is. You said yourself that you’re not into
relationships and love. That’s what I need.”

“Love ain’t got shit to do with fucking.”

“I don’t want to fuck. I want to make love. I want love and
a committed relationship.”

“I see.”

I really don’t, but what else can I say? I can’t give her
what she wants.

“Good night, Gage. Thanks for tonight. I had a great time.”

I watch her as she climbs out of the car, shuts the door,
and walks away. Once she’s safely inside, I drive off. She didn’t say it, but
somehow, it felt like goodbye. I fucked up. I know I fucked up. I acted like a
fucking caveman, and now she probably doesn’t want anything to do with me. I
can’t say I blame her. I’m a dick.

I head out of town and toward the Kitty. I haven’t been
there in a while. Maybe I should go check things out. When I arrive, it’s
packed as usual. Put pussy and liquor together and men will show up. Kind of
like
Field of Dreams
—build it and they’ll come. I do a visual check of
the security, making sure they’re all where they’re supposed to be. The
bartender waves at me as I pass by and I think of taking her to my office for a
quickie, but then I meet Nita’s hard stare.

“Keep it in your pants, boy.”

“I am. I promise. How’s it going?”

“Good. I guess I don’t have to worry about you fucking this
supplier. Or do I?”

“Should I be worried about you?”

“My man days are over, son.”

“Yeah, right.”

I kiss her cheek, and then make my way to the security room.
I have two guys in there monitoring everything that goes on. They’re both diligently
watching the screens.

“Everything good, boys?”

“Yes, sir,” they reply in unison.

“Good.”

I head back to the bar, get a beer, and watch Brandi, the
girl on stage. She’s one of my best girls, a big money-maker. She climbs to the
top of the pole, hangs upside down, and then slides to the bottom, stopping
just before her head hits the floor. The crowd goes crazy.

“Hey, handsome.”

I turn to the voice and see two blondes smiling at me. Not
really my type, but they’re pretty enough. “Hello.”

“We hear you’re the owner,” Blonde Number One says.

“One of them.”

“We just wanted to let you know that this place is great.”

“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”

Blonde Number Two smiles and moves closer to me.

“I’m glad Alex talked me into coming out tonight. Better than
a night home alone.”

Home alone. The words ring in my ears. I need to talk to
her. I need to make sure she’s okay.

“Excuse me.”

I dial her number the moment I’m outside and hope she
answers. Two rings, three, four… just when I’m about to give up, she picks up.

“Hello.”

“Did I wake you?”

“No. I was reading. Just got into bed.”

Jesus.
“I wanted to check on you since I know you’re
home alone.”

“Not the first time, won’t be the last.”

“Do you want me to come—?”

“No. I’m fine.”

Frustration grips me so I take a deep breath, expelling it
from my mouth. I never know what to do when it comes to her. I feel like
fucking breaking something.

“Are you okay?” she asks.

“No, I’m not okay. I feel like I’m going crazy. I want you
so much I don’t know what to do with my fucking self. I can wait, Raven. I will
fucking wait. I just need to know that I’m not waiting in vain.”

“I
can’t
, Gage. I can’t give you what you want, and
you can’t give me what I want.”

“Is this about the boy?”

“His name is Chris, and this is about me. I’m not just going
to spread my legs for you because you want me to. I’m not Lonnie.”

“Is that what you think? I know that you’re nothing like
your whore sister. Chicks like her are for amusement, nothing more. You… you’re
different. I
want
to be with you.”

“No, you don’t want to be with me. You want to have sex with
me. Therefore it
would
be for your amusement.”

“Trust me, it’s not like that.”

She doesn’t speak for a while, but I know she’s still there.
I hear her breathing.

“There are a lot of women out there who want to be with
you.”

“I know. That doesn’t matter. What matters is who
I
want.”

“We can’t be together. Not now, not two months from now, not
ever.”

“Why?”

“Good night, Gage.”

I want to put my fucking fist through the wall. Instead, I
kick the trashcan in front of me with a loud growl.
That’s it. I’m done.
It’s her fucking loss.
I’m not wasting any more time on some bi-polar ass
chick. If she doesn’t want me then I sure as hell don’t want her ass. I turn
when I hear footsteps behind me.

“Hey.”

It’s the blondes from earlier. Maybe I can salvage this
night after all. “Hello again, ladies.”

“We’re heading home. Just wondering if maybe… you’d like to
join us.”

I look them over from head to toe. I guess I could do a lot
worse. “Lead the way. I’ll follow.”