RAGE: President & First Lady Of The Death Dealers MC (10 page)

My muscles are burning. There’s sweat dripping from every
part of my body and I can barely breathe, but I push on. I have eighties rock
booming through my headphones, and “Eye of the Tiger” gives me a second wind as
I round the corner to our street. I’ve recently taken up jogging. I needed
something other than work to keep me busy. Ever since that night with Gage two
weeks ago, I can’t stop thinking about him. He creeps into my thoughts every
quiet moment I have. It was hard
not
to think about him when he left a
reminder on my stomach. Thank God, it’s finally faded.

I also needed some kind of physical activity to work off my
frustration. I’ve been reading nothing but erotic romance books, or more
specifically,
MC
erotic romance books. They’ve only made me think about
him more, if that’s even possible. I don’t know why I’ve been torturing myself
but I’ve been reading any one I can get my hands on. I now know all about club
hierarchy, and learned new terms such as one percenters, rockers, patches,
colors, and club pussy. If what I’ve read is anything like the real thing, no
wonder Gage is the way he is. Why settle down when there are women just waiting
around for him to fuck them?

Toni’s advice didn’t help. At all.

Fuck the hot, old guy and get it out of your system.

Yeah, right.
That
would get him out of my system. I
haven’t heard from him. I’ve seen him around but he’s ignored me every time,
won’t even look at me. It’s for the best, though. Lonnie’s not the only
variable in the situation. I can’t hurt Chris. What Gage doesn’t know about
that night is that I received a text from Chrissy.

My brother’s got it bad for you
.

It fucked me the hell up.

Lonnie isn’t even an issue for me anymore. She’s delusional.
There’s no way she has a chance of being anything to Gage, let alone his old
lady. But hey, if she wants to keep living in la la land, then she can be my
guest. We don’t talk. Most of the time, she barely acknowledges my presence.
I’ll get a nasty look or a grunt, but that’s it. I leave money for my half of
the bills on the kitchen table so I don’t need to come in contact with her. We
stay out of each other’s way and it’s working out fine so far.

I look ahead and there’s a little boy running toward the
street. His mother is unpacking groceries from the car and doesn’t realize
what’s going on. And there’s a car coming.

“Hey!”

Fuck! She didn’t turn around. I speed up, praying I get to
him in time. Just as he’s about to step onto the street, I grab him up and hold
him to me.

“Hey there. Where you going?”

His mother turns around and I see the blood drain from her
face. I remove my earphones and approach her.

“Mikey!”

She rushes forward and takes him from my arms, squeezing him
until he begins to squirm.

“Jesus! I put him inside. I didn’t see him come out.”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad I got to him in time.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much. I don’t know how I could ever
repay you.”

Tears gather in her eyes. I know it was a close call.

“I’m sorry. I lost his father right before he was born. I
couldn’t bear to lose him, too.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

She wipes at her tears and I get a good look at her. There’s
something familiar about her. Have we met? Maybe I’ve just seen her around the
neighborhood. She sticks out her hand and I shake it gently.

“I’m Ellen.”

“Raven.”

“Nice to meet you, Raven. This is Mikey. Say hi to Raven,
Mikey.”

“Hi, Raven. You wet.”

My name comes out as “Waben.” I giggle, not only at his
mispronunciation, but at his cute, little voice. He has his mom’s eyes. He’s an
adorable little thing with shoulder-length, brown hair. I just want to eat him
up.

“That’s because I’ve been running.”

“Run? We play!”

“No, Mikey—” Ellen cuts in.

“It’s fine. I can play with him for a bit while you finish
with your groceries,” I tell her, smiling at Mikey and ruffling his hair.

“Really? You don’t mind?”

“Of course not. Me and Mikey are friends now. Right, Mikey?”

“Yeah!” he squeals.

He wriggles until Ellen puts him down, and then he taps my
leg and runs away.

“Tag, you it!”

I run around the yard with him for a bit, giving him the
upper hand in the game. He’s such a happy little boy. Too bad about his father.
He pretends to shoot me with his fingers and then yells, “Yeehaw!” I guess
we’re playing cowboys and Indians now.

“Hey, guys. Water break?”

He runs to his mom and takes his sippy cup, while I accept
the bottle she offers me.

“Thanks, Raven. You’re really good with him.”

“It’s no problem. He’s such a cutie. How old is he?”

“Three. He looks just like his father. Say, do you babysit?”

Babysit? Another job? Hell yeah. It will only get me to my
goal quicker. The raise and additional hours Millie gave me are great but when
it comes to money, the more the merrier. I’ll be set once my inheritance is
signed over, but that might take some time. I need to be ready to move in time
for my birthday.

“Sure. I have a day job but I’m available any time after
six, Friday to Wednesday, and I’m off on Thursdays.”

“Great! Come on in and let me get your information.”

While we’re talking, Mikey keeps pulling on my hand, wanting
to show me his toys. Ellen asks me to indulge him before I leave, so I let him
lead me to the living room. I sit cross-legged on the carpet playing with him
and before I know it, it’s dark outside.

“I should go.”

“You’re right. Come on, I’ll take you home.”

“I’m fine. I just live a few houses away.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

I turn to Mikey to say goodbye, but he jumps to his feet excitedly.

“Unca!”

He runs past me and I turn around to see where he’s off to.
I freeze in my tracks. Gage swings Mikey into his arms, flashing his perfect
teeth.

“Hey there, little guy.”

“Raven, this is my brother, Gage.”

I can’t look at him. This babysitting job suddenly doesn’t
look so appealing. Now I know why she seemed familiar. Those darn blue eyes.

“We’ve met.”

He doesn’t say anything, ignoring me once again.

“Unca, me and Waben play!”

“Yeah? You have fun?” he asks the little boy.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Ellen, I’m gonna go. Call me if you need me,” I tell her,
desperate to get away from her brother.

“Sure thing. Gage, walk Raven home.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“Of course it is,” she states with finality.

She takes Mikey and leaves us, so I guess the conversation
is over. I keep my head down as I walk by him. He grabs my hand and I finally
raise my eyes to his. His jaw is twitching and his eyes are narrowed.

“What the fuck are you wearing?”

He leers at my outfit, which isn’t much—a sports bra and
short tights. I notice his gaze lingers on my exposed stomach and thighs.

“I was jogging.” I pull out of his grasp and almost run
away, but I’m all too aware of him walking behind me. “You don’t have to come
with me. I’m fine.”

He doesn’t say a word. Only the sound of his boots on the
floor lets me know he’s still behind me. I open the front door and a chilly
wind hits me like a slap to my entire body. I wrap my arms around myself but
before I step outside, a jacket is draped over my shoulders. I want to give it
back, to tell him I don’t need it, but who am I kidding? At least my arms will
be warm.

“Thank you.”

We walk in silence, but I keep a keen eye out for Lonnie. I
don’t need her shit tonight. I pull the jacket tighter around me and inhale
deeply. I missed his scent. It’s already faded from the other jacket I have
hanging in my closet. I need to give it back to him. It’s a physical reminder
of him that I really don’t need. It’s enough that I can’t stop thinking about
him.

Occasionally, I glance at him out of the corner of my eye.
His face is blank, showing no emotion. I wish he would say something. It’s not
just his scent that I miss. I miss
him
.
How is that possible? How can
I miss something and someone I never had?

He walks me to the door, and once I’m inside, I hand his
hoodie back to him. He throws it over his shoulder and turns to leave.

“Wait.”

He watches me expectantly.

“Just wait here.”

I retrieve his other hoodie from my closet and hand it to
him, as well. He scoffs and walks away, and I watch his retreating back in
disappointment. I know this is what I asked for, but as I watch him walk away,
I feel like I’ve made an enormous mistake.

***Gage***

Fuck! I can’t think straight. Not after seeing her in the
scraps of cloth she calls workout gear. Giving her my jacket was as much for me
as it was for her. I almost came all over myself when I saw the outline of her
pussy in those ridiculous shorts. That shit looked swollen. Fuck. I can’t go
back to Ellen’s yet. With her hawk eyes, there’s no way she would miss my
full-blown woody. I’ll just sit in my car and wait.

I don’t know why I can’t get this fucking chick off my
brain! Whoever said pussy is pussy didn’t know what the fuck he was talking
about. All the pussy I’ve had since I met her hasn’t made me forget. How can I
forget the way she responds to me the moment I get close to her? The way she
felt beneath me? The taste of her sweet lips? I get a hard-on every time I
remember the way she said my name that night as I kissed her stomach. I felt
like a fucking king when I saw my mark on her skin. I guess I
have
had
it way too easy for too long. The first woman to turn me down is making me lose
my shit. Or maybe it’s because I know I can’t have her—forbidden fruit and
shit. Now I know how Adam must have felt in the Garden of Eden.

Fuck it. Damn it all to Hell.

I hop out of the car and before I know it, I’m on her
doorstep, banging on the door.

“I’m coming!” she shouts from inside.

Fuck my life. I don’t need to hear those words coming out of
her mouth right now. She slowly cracks the door open and peeks out.

“Yes?”

“Let me in.”

“That’s not a good idea.”

“Let me in, Raven.”

There’s no way I’m taking no for an answer. She opens it the
rest of the way and allows me in. I try to concentrate on the task at hand, not
the fact that she’s in her pajamas and looking sexy as sin, her wet hair
hanging down her back.

“You can’t be here.”

“Why?”

“I’d be in trouble if Lonnie came home and found you here.”

She’s right. She’s underage, and as her guardian, her sister
probably wouldn’t approve.

“I’ll take care of it.”

I pull my phone out of my pocket and text E.

Gage: Keep Lonnie busy for a few hours.

Einstein: What are you doing, bro?

Gage: We’re just talking.

Einstein: Ok. No worries.

“You don’t have to worry about her.”

I take her hand and lead her to the living room. She slips
out of my grasp, putting distance between us as we sit on the couch.

“We need to talk, Raven.”

“About what?”

“Us.”

“Us?” she asks, in confusion.

“You and me. I’m sick of this hot and cold bullshit. I’m not
leaving here until we come to a resolution.”

“There is no ‘you and me’. Resolved. Bye.”

“You keep saying that, but then I touch you and it’s a
different song.”

She sighs and looks over at me with helpless eyes.

“Gage, please—”

I know what I have to do. “Just listen.”

I move closer and take both her hands in mine. She bites
into her bottom lip and stares down at our hands.

“These last few weeks have been hell for me. I’ve never met
anyone like you. You’re beautiful, smart, funny. Not to mention you turn me on
more than any woman I’ve ever met. Obviously, we can’t be together yet….”

I place my finger under her chin and lift her face toward
me. I need her looking at me when I say this.

“The only solution is for us—”

“To stay away from each other.”

“To date.”

We spoke at the same time, but I heard her loud and clear. She
stares at me in confusion.

“What do you mean stay away from each other?”

“What do you mean date?”

Again, we spoke simultaneously. I take a deep breath and
shake my head because even I can’t believe I said that shit, or what I’m about
to say.

“I know what I told you. I’m not saying I’ve magically
changed, but I’m willing to try. It won’t be easy for me, but I’ll try.”

“Why the sudden change of heart?”

“I like you. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but it’s
been a long time since I’ve been able to say that about anyone. I’d rather
explore that than let you go and regret it later.”

“How can you be sure you won’t regret
exploring
?”

That’s a good question. I take a long, hard look at her and
for some reason, I doubt that I will.

“I won’t. Trust me.”

Trust me. I’ve heard those words before.
Why should I
trust him? Why should I give up everything for him when he’s not even sure he
can do it?
He made it very clear on the day we met just what he wanted.

“You keep forgetting one important detail.”

“What’s that?”

“Christopher.”

“He’s
not
important,” he counters.

“He’s important to me.”

“You said you don’t love him.”

“I do. And he loves me,” I answer, but my voice is lacking
conviction. 

“So you love him. Are you
in love
with him?”

As much as I want to say yes, the word won’t leave my mouth.
I love him as a person, and even though there’s an attraction, it’s not like
what I feel with Gage. Not even close.

“It doesn’t matter. I can’t be with you.” I pull my hands
from his and head to the kitchen. I just need to get away from him. I can’t
think when he’s close, and I need my wits about me.

“Why?”

I turn to see him leaning on the door jamb.
So much for
getting some space.
“Because.”

“That’s not an answer. It’s obviously not the boy.”

He moves forward, backing me up against the counter and
trapping me with his hands on either side.

“Is it the age difference?”

“No.”

And it isn’t. I haven’t even given a thought to his age. How
could I when I can barely think at all around him?

“Is it the club?”

“Yes… no… I….”

“Talk to me.”

“It’s Lonnie, okay?”

Fuck. Why did I say that?

“What does she have to do with it?”

I take a deep breath and meet his eyes. For a moment, I lose
my train of thought. They’re just so stunning; I could stare into them all day.

“Well?”

I shake my head and blink away the distraction. “She likes
you.”

His brows furrow in confusion.

“She
likes
you, likes you,” I try to clarify.

His face relaxes and then realization sets in. Running his
fingers through his hair, he takes a step back.

“Fuck.”

“What is it?”

“She told me a couple weeks ago that she wants to be an old
lady, that she had her eyes on someone. Are you saying it’s me?”

I nod and he drops down into one of the chairs around the
breakfast table.

“Fuck,” he repeats.

I sit opposite him, waiting to see what he’ll do.

“You know there’s no way in Hell that’s gonna happen,
right?”

“I do. She doesn’t.”

“I’ll talk to her, set her straight.”

“You can if you want to, just don’t mention me.”

“That would defeat the purpose, wouldn’t it? I’m not hiding
you,” he states matter-of-factly.

“There will be nothing to hide. I’m not cheating on Chris,
and I’m not giving him up for some…
experiment
you want to conduct.”

“You’re not an experiment.”

“Oh? Then what am I?” I ask, eyebrows raised.

“I’ve been with a lot of women, and I’ve never even thought
about doing what I’m offering you. When I said there’s something different
about you, I meant it.”

“What? That I’m not falling at your feet like every other
woman you meet?”

He leans forward, places his hands on the table, and gives
me a smug smile. Who am I kidding? I’m no different. Whatever it is about him
that drives women crazy, I’ve caught it. There’s no treatment, no cure.

“I bet I could make you.”

Oh, my God, that voice! That low, smooth tone that sends
marvelous sensations through my body. I swallow hard, squeezing my thighs
together.

“Make me what?”

“Kneel before me.”

“Whatever. Ain’t gonna happen.” The second the words are out
of my mouth, I regret them. I keep saying them and he keeps proving me wrong. I
leave the table to grab a bottle of water from the fridge, just to get away
from him. I stop mid-way when I hear the other voice, the sexy, commanding one
that got me out of my clothes and touching myself.

“Come here.”

I turn around slowly. He’s positioned himself so he’s facing
me. My feet move of their own volition, until I’m standing before him.

“You act so tough, but then you can be so submissive.”

“I’m not—”

“Sit.”

Aaand
I’m on his lap.
Fuck. What is wrong with me?

“See?”

“I’m not… I mean… I… It’s just with you.”

“On your knees.”

As much as I fight it, I find myself sliding off his lap and
onto the floor. Placing my hands on his thighs, I gaze up at him. He leans
forward and tucks my hair behind my ear. I close my eyes as my body reacts to
his proximity. My heart rate increases and I lick my lips, anticipating his
kiss. But it doesn’t come. I open my eyes and meet his intense stare.

“I don’t give a fuck about Lonnie or your so-called
boyfriend. You’re not a fucking experiment. I want you, and the minute you turn
eighteen, you’re
mine
.”

I can’t move. I can’t speak. I can’t even breathe. The look
in his eyes leaves me paralyzed. I want to shout, “I’m yours!” from every
mountain top. I’m on my frickin’ knees before this man and still feel like the
most desired woman on the planet.

“Get up, baby doll.”

He helps me up and pulls me back onto his lap. There’s a
twinkle in his eye that wasn’t there before.

“Next time I have you on your knees, I’ll have something to
put in your mouth.”

“Oh really? And what would that be?”

I shuffle up his thigh and wrap my arms around his neck. He
returns my smile and slides his hands around my waist.

“These nuts.”

I throw my head back and laugh, and pretty soon he joins me.

“What if I said I’m allergic to nuts?”

“Then I’d say these nuts are hypoallergenic.”

“Oh, my God. You
are
crazy.”

“Oh, yeah?” he says with a hint of mischief.

One arm tightens around me while the other moves to my side,
and he begins to tickle me mercilessly. I try to get away but he’s just too
strong. Tears of laughter stream down my face as I desperately try to get away.

“Stop. Please!”

He pulls me to him and holds me until my laughter dies down.
I lay my head on his shoulder and settle into his embrace. At this point in
time, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. And it scares the shit out of me.

“Say you’ll wait for me, doll. Promise me.”

“I promise.”