Rage to Adore (19 page)

Mercy

Footfalls through the undergrowth. A babble of voices all
around. Tani awoke from the dazed shock that had ripped her heart out to find a
sudden swarm of faces talking at her. She could barely hear the words, saw only
lips in motion, tensed as strong hands enclosed her arms, pulling, grabbing.
Her mind was somewhere else, still enclosed in the blanket of fog that had
glazed her vision since Jaro had left. She didn’t know how long she’d been
standing there, didn’t know who had grabbed her, could barely make out the
features of the faces that crossed in front of her. Someone shook her, two
hands on her shoulders. Blue eyes wide with fear. “Tani!” A voice spoke,
urgent. Worried. “Tani! Snap out of it!”

All of a sudden she breathed. A deep gush of air expelled from
her lungs and Tani was forced to face reality. Cassi! Cassi was here! Her sigh
was a deep sigh of relief as she let herself fall into Cassi’s arms. Familiar
welcome faces surrounded her. Cassi, Borealis, other Eunomi warriors.

“Thank Gaia!” Cassi cried. “Are you all right?”

Tani nodded, but inside her heart was screaming a loud
resounding No! Screaming that she would never be all right again. She was hit
by a sharp stab of fear. “Where’s Jaro?”

“That mercenary bastard,” said Borealis. “He’s been secured.
What are you doing with him?” Tani eyed her commander warily. “You know him?”

“We’ve met before,” he replied ominously. Cassi’s eyes
narrowed and Tani could feel her friend’s blue gaze assessing her reactions. “He’s
not the one you were looking for, is he? Your Esseni partner?”

“No, no, of course not.” Still disoriented, hurt by Jaro’s
rejection and confused by Borealis’s reaction to Jaro’s name, Tani was quick to
deny it. At that precise moment she turned her head toward a rustling in the
foliage, her eyes locking on to furious molten silver.

Jaro emerged into the clearing. Waves of vicious anger
rolling outward, he kept his savage gaze on her. She barely registered that he
was naked, his hands tied in front of him at the wrists. All she could see was
Jaro’s hate-filled eyes, dark indigo rings flashing on hearing her denial. Well,
she guessed that paid him back for his rejection of her and made them even. Her
heart constricted. She knew she had hurt him and it wasn’t what she really
wanted to do. It was then she realized he was being led at knifepoint by three
more Eunomi warriors, one of whom was Tyr Bellor, a distant cousin of hers and the
current Esseni of War.

“Tani!” Tyr’s deep voice broke through the thin thread that
still connected her to Jaro. It was faint but it was there, stretched to its
limit, so taut she was sure if she moved it would break. Her attention focusing
on Tyr, she clung to that thread, not wanting to let go even though she sensed
Jaro’s withdrawal. She didn’t blame him for it, not after the hurtful
accusations she had thrown at him. She would just have to hold on until she
could fix what she had broken. Two strong arms embraced her warmly. “I’m so
glad you’re okay.” A murderous growl vibrated in the air as she returned the
greeting. The thread almost snapped and with it her heart.

“What shall we do with him?” Borealis gestured toward Jaro.
Bellor turned to his prisoner, his arm still holding Tani close. Something
passed between the two men that Tani didn’t quite understand but suspected was
a connection based on their warrior blood. “He comes with us.”

Tani swallowed her relief, holding it inside along with her
fear and what was left of the shredded fibers that had been cut. She could
still make sense of this. The Eunomi would take her back to Serpens; she would
confront Lorcan to find out the truth and do what she could to save Jaro. For
now it was better to let her friends believe Lorcan was the Esseni. If she told
them she thought her duality was Jaro they would probably kill him. There
seemed to be some history between Tyr and Jaro and very little trust. They
would find it hard to believe he wouldn’t betray her to the Discordants if he
was the true Esseni of Hate. Previous ones had proven to be untrustworthy, as
she well knew from the experience of her cousin, Tyr’s mother, Carita.

“Get him some clothes,” said Cassi. “Why is he naked anyway?”

“Luckily for us he was half shifting when we found him,”
said Tyr. “So we were able to suppress his saevici ability with a wiccani
spell.”

“You fight dirty, Bellor,” Jaro growled, as a warrior threw
him a pair of combat pants.

Cassi drew Tani to one side and spoke quietly. “I don’t
think the guys have noticed but he has the Taijitu mark. Is there something you’re
not telling us?”

Tani swallowed, heat rising, more in anger than in fear.
Trust Cassi to notice. A sense of possession gripped her chest that she fought
to suppress and appear nonchalant. “He’s my duality’s brother. Twin brother,” she
explained.

“So the Taijitu he has?”

“He’s a shadow Esseni.”

“Really? I had heard it was possible with twins.” Cassi
raised her eyebrows. “Well, if his brother is identical all I can say is, you
lucked out, girl! He’s hot. Even if he is a bastard.”

Tani clenched her fists. Cassi was a good friend but at that
precise moment she could picture herself scratching her eyes out to stop her
from lusting over her man. Her man! How she wanted that to be true and even if
it wasn’t, Cassi had better keep her damn hands off him!

Jaro’s heart raged. Fury building inside, he emitted a
savage growl when Bellor put his hands on Tani. Although he had denied her
first, hearing her deny him, even though he had told her to had cut him deeply.
Some small part of him had clung to the faint hope that for once perhaps
someone would stand by him. That was too much to expect. She still thought
Lorcan was the one. Even after last night! Guilt and jealousy ate into his gut,
churning acid bile into nausea. She would go back to Serpens. Be with Lorcan,
and Lorcan would betray her. The thought still made him sick.

Betrayal. The sword that hovered over him at all times, a
constant threat. The one word that had gouged out chunks of his heart, time
after time until there was nothing left but an empty black, hollow chamber. The
word cut into his flesh, slicing open the wounds and scars that already marred
his back creating new ones, fresh, raw, bloody. How could she do this to him?
He knew it was his own fault. He had raged at her, told her that last night
meant nothing when it had meant everything. He had given her the power to
destroy him. If the Eunomi didn’t kill him, could he do that to her? Leave her
to Phenex and Choronzon. He could use her to gain his freedom.
Could
he
do that to her? Betray the one woman whose touch had the power to soothe the
fire of his hatred. Something about her called to the blackest depths of his
soul. He had thought his heart dead, but a small ember smoldered inside the
hollow space, a residue, an echo of who he once was. Only she had the power to
ignite that spark.

But it was her fault that the Eunomi had taken him. He had
shifted fully after she raged at him, her words of anger slicing him deep to
the bone. He deserved everything he got. Everything. He sure as hell didn’t
deserve her, and running to get away from her, at that moment he hated her more
than he’d ever hated anyone. Not his mother, his brother, not even Phenex. He
hated her because he loved her. He loved her more than life itself. More than
his need for revenge which meant he had to let her go and in doing so, it would
kill him. He hadn’t gone far when he stopped running, intent on going back. He
was in the process of shifting, down on his hands and knees when three Eunomi
warriors burst out of the trees. He didn’t even bother to put up a fight.
Hearing the suppression incantation, he knew he had no chance. He let them take
him.

Surprise flickered in his eyes when he realized the largest
of the warriors was Tyr Bellor, Esseni of War, his old foe. They had encountered
each other before. Back on Earth, they had fought in the boxing ring before Tyr
knew what he was or even that other races existed. Jaro had been loaned out by
Phenex for many things, as both a boxer and a mercenary and as such he had
enriched his master by fighting all over the galaxy. Only Bellor had beaten him
in the boxing ring. Although they were equal in strength, Tyr had possessed
superior strategy and Jaro could never hold on to his temper against him, which
made him careless. But more recently, Jaro had held Bellor’s life in his hands,
could have killed both him and Bellor’s woman. The mercy he had shown had
earned him a month of torture. Now he was at the mercy of Bellor. He might
admire Bellor as a warrior but he didn’t like Bellor touching his woman. His woman!
Fuck!

Jaro’s mind recoiled from that thought as his brain
registered Bellor staring at him curiously, his arm thrown casually across Tani’s
shoulder. Jaro stared back, his eyes issuing a challenge. “What’s your problem,
Bellor?” he spat.

“No problem, Rodach, just a warning. If you touch my girl
here,” he gestured to where Tani had moved aside and was now standing with
Cassi, “or hurt her in any way, I’ll come after you.”

A loud rumbling noise thundered in Jaro’s ears and he
realized, as he charged forward, intent on breaking every bone in Bellor’s body
that the sound was coming from his own throat.

Tani jumped in horror as Jaro charged at Tyr and attempted
to shift. The strangled growl that erupted from his mouth, twisting in feral
savagery was like nothing she had ever heard before. The next moment Jaro was
down and writhing on the floor in agony as the suppression spell kicked in.

“Jaro!” she screamed, falling to her knees by his side. “Stop
it! Help him!” Her frantic eyes sought Cassi’s, terrified by the wild thrashing
that Jaro would be hurt. Sharp pain in her chest, she latched on to his agony
and endeavored to wrap a shroud of comfort over it, trying to dampen the
effects of the magick. Her efforts were unrewarded and futile. Jaro continued
to fight. Cassi’s hands dragged her away and held her immobile and helpless,
watching four warriors subdue him, finally managing it by knocking him
unconscious.

Her sobs were unrelenting. Cassi turned her body, forcing
her to look away. “I think she’s still in shock.” Cassi spoke to the other
warriors, making excuses for Tani’s distress. Into Tani’s ear she spoke words
of warning. “You need to calm down, Tani,” she whispered. “Keep your feelings
inside for now. Don’t let them see.”

“How do you know?” Tani whispered back, wiping the tears
from her eyes.

“I don’t know,” said Cassi. “I just feel. I can feel the
energy between the two of you. I’ll keep quiet for now until we figure out what
to do.”

Tani held on to her friend relieved. “I’m not sure what we
can do, Cassi. It’s complicated.”

Cassi’s blue eyes were full of sympathy. “When it comes to
Esseni, it always is. Now you need to fill us in on what happened since Antares
alerted us that you were kidnapped.”

As they made their way through the forest on the outskirts
of Serpens, Tani tried her best to explain the details of her capture and
update Borealis on her mission. He wasn’t keen on letting her return to Morana
after hearing Tani’s assertion that Morana had tried to sell her to Phenex, but
Tani was adamant that she needed to investigate the hidden room that pointed to
Ziad’s presence in that house. She eventually managed to convince him that
going back was the only way to know for sure if he had been there and that
Morana was an essential tool in accessing her main mission, Lorcan. Borealis
acquiesced only after he had forced her to accept that his warriors would take
shifts to watch over her.

The question of Jaro remained an unresolved problem.
Borealis was adamant that he was not to be set free, particularly as Tani had
admitted Jaro knew she was an Esseni. The warriors had kept him chained and
under the suppression spell for the duration of the trek to the forest that
edged Serpens. Tani strove to remain aloof, to distance herself from the sight
of Jaro being dragged unconscious, her heart aching when he did wake for a few
moments and wrestle with his shackles, trying to shift, only to be left
writhing in pain as the suppression spell kicked in again. Jaro might be a
problem but he was hers to solve.

That night they camped just outside the city. Tani was left
with two of the warriors and Jaro while the others disappeared to make contact
with Antares. They were also going to review the situation with Morana, to
ensure that Tani would not be walking straight back into a Discordant trap.

“Jaro!”

Jaro heard his name whispered, cutting through the darkness,
the sound of Tani’s voice striking like a hot iron, searing his chest. It
burned. All day he had feigned unconsciousness, waiting for a chance to escape.
He had decided to be patient and had been rewarded when most of the warriors
including Bellor and Borealis, the two he considered the most dangerous, had
left, leaving Tani and only two others behind. The warriors were morons if they
thought the suppression spell would keep him under forever. The power of his
anger was much stronger than anything they could possibly imagine.

He had waited for those remaining including Tani to slip
into sleep, all the while debating his choices regarding her. Could he take her
to Phenex as he was charged to do, or leave her, breaking his oath and
disobeying an order? It certainly wouldn’t be the first time. He could easily
make up some excuse to Phenex. There was only one choice really and he knew it—he
could never hurt her in that way. He might slash at her with his words, filling
them with rage, cut her with his pretended indifference and scorn. Anything to
keep her at arm’s length. But he would never see her physically harmed.

“Jaro!” A soft hand, warm against his leg, pulling at the
shackles. “I have the key,” she said, surprising him.