Rage to Adore (20 page)

“What are you doing?” he growled low into the darkness. Had
she come to taunt him? He wouldn’t be surprised after the way he had treated
her.

“Hold still while I undo the cuffs.”

Frozen in shock he did as she said. She was letting him go!
He could barely make out her face, the warriors having decided to forgo a fire
so as not to draw attention to themselves, the blanket of night a protective
shroud encasing their camp on the outskirts of the city.

The cuffs gave way. As Tani’s soft hands rubbed his raw
ankles Jaro felt the blood surging through his veins bringing heat. The gentle
action not only massaged his body back to life but sparked something inside
that had long since lain dormant. He didn’t know what it was, couldn’t form it
into words but it was there, a tiny ember reviving in the darkness. Her fingers
found his wrists, freeing them from the harsh metal, replacing the cold touch
of iron with the gentle warmth of her skin. Her hand fluttered onto his chest,
upward past his throat to lie softly on his cheek. Her thumbs slowly caressing
his jaw, she said, “Jaro, you need to go.”

“Why?” He had to know. He’d treated her appallingly and she
was letting him go? With just a word she could have had him executed. The
Eunomi didn’t trust him.

“You know why,” she said.

He thought he could feel it tapping at his resistance. If he
just let his barriers down he would feel it all, an emotion he didn’t want to
feel. Not from her. If he surrendered to it, it would kill him. To have had it
and then lose it would be his downfall. The small ember sparked in his gut. He
started to put a name to it. Was it hope? Before he could process that thought,
the barriers he had erected vibrated on a knife edge. Warm lips pressed against
his mouth, the pressure so soft and brief his lips were left singing. That
gentle caress nearly undid him. Jaro jerked back, letting her fingers fall
away, the heat of her skin replaced by a cold rush of air.

“Go!” she hissed. “Go now!” He ran as fast as he could
before the vibrating barriers could crumble.

The three Ophiuchi suns were low on the horizon, the bright
orange glow of dawn a flickering hope skimming the tree line as Borealis raged
at Tani.

“Have you finished?” she asked, her expression impassive.
Borealis sighed and let out a sharp curse. “I only hope this doesn’t come back
to bite you in the ass, Tani,” he said. “You’re compromised in so many ways but
you still want to go back!”

“Jaro is not a threat,” she insisted. “He’s a slave, a…a nothing.
It’s Morana who has the power. She’s the one we need to watch. Besides, Jaro
going back makes sense. Belial’s men know he escaped. If he didn’t return,
Phenex would be suspicious. He doesn’t know we were together.”

“Phenex would have thought he’d made a run for it, tried to
escape.”

Tani shook her head. “Borealis, you know he can’t run. There’s
nowhere on Ophiuchus a slave can run to and be safe. They can’t use starportals
without permission. Jaro had no choice but to return. Besides, it’s doubtful I’ll
see him again. I’ll be moving in different circles with Morana, and your
warriors will be in place to protect me.”

“I only hope you’re right.” Borealis scrubbed a calloused
hand across the short stubble of his jaw, gazing down at her lips pressed tightly
together. “It’s true that this is our best hope of finding Ziad but I don’t
want to lose you in the process.” Tani pulled him into a hug. He was so tall
and broad that she only topped his chest, her hands nowhere near meeting behind
his back. Even so, such a solid rock of a man still needed some comfort. “You
know I have plenty of tricks up my sleeve, Borealis,” Tani replied with a smile,
looking up at him. “And I’m not afraid to use them.”

Borealis’s mouth quirked into a rare grin. “That’s what I’m
worried about,” he said.

Revelations

A few hours later Tani stepped into the foyer of the
townhouse and let Morana embrace her. “I was so worried!” Her hostess’s
greeting sounded almost sincere. Tani stiffened. Was that genuine concern? She
couldn’t be sure, couldn’t be too trusting. Now that she was back with Morana,
she wasn’t sure of anything. Morana was many things, but a genuine friend?
Probably not. The only thing that
was
clear was that her ties to the
Eunomi were merely a means to accruing more wealth.

Morana appeared to sense Tani’s withdrawal and drew back
slowly, her turquoise eyes glittering like ice-cold diamonds. “I see your
friends have been hard at work,” she drawled. “Don’t worry, Tani, I’m being
well paid by Borealis. Too well paid to sell you out. Believe it or not you are
safe with me.”

“It didn’t stop you before.” Tani couldn’t help the dig. Who
was she kidding? Morana had already sold her out once and now she was feigning
innocence. Tani nearly bit her tongue, wishing she hadn’t spoken. This woman
had a connection to Ziad and she needed her cooperation to find out where he
was.

Morana raised a bemused eyebrow. “Didn’t stop me what?” she
queried. The blatant lie annoyed Tani so much that she couldn’t hold back. “You
know exactly what I mean, Morana. You sold me out to Phenex even before Belial’s
men grabbed me. If they hadn’t taken me, I would no doubt be in Phenex’s hands
by now.”

Morana startled Tani by laughing at her accusation. “Oh my
poor little Tanith! If I really wanted to sell you it wouldn’t be to Phenex.
Always go straight to the top. I’m well acquainted with Choronzon the
Discordant leader, you know.” She smiled lazily. “You need to remember that
Ophiuchus is full of liars. Truth and lies are all blurred within the layers of
protection we use to kid ourselves. Think, Tani. If I sold you to Phenex I
would lose the trust of Borealis. You’re worth a lot to some, but not that much
to me.”

“Then who…? Jaro said…”

“Said what exactly?”

“He said my friend sold me…my friend…” Tani’s voice trailed
off, her brow furrowed as she considered her words. Morana arched another brow.
“You really shouldn’t jump to conclusions, you know. Regardless of what you
think, I’m glad you’re back. But you are not completely safe here anymore. Too
many people have been alerted to your presence. We need to take you somewhere
else.”

“I…I need to see Lorcan.” Even more so now, particularly
after Morana’s assertion that she wasn’t the one who had betrayed her to
Phenex.

“Ah yes, your Esseni partner.” Tani flinched in surprise. “You
know?”

“Of course I know.” Morana smiled indulgently. “I’ve always
known what you are and yes, you definitely need to see him but it means going
into the lion’s den.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lorcan is currently staying at Phenex’s palace. It’s his
mother’s birthday in a few days and Phenex always throws her a party. Even
though Phenex wants you, he will still keep Sitri happy. For some reason he
seems unable to deny her anything. Maybe because she’s such a bitch otherwise.”
This wasn’t the best news but if Morana was to be believed it seemed she intended
make sure Tani was safe.

“Then I’ll have to go to the palace.”

“Even though you are walking into Phenex’s clutches?”

“I’m a Eunomi warrior, Morana. It’s not like I’m going in
ignorance.”

Morana smiled again but this time there was a grudging
respect in her eyes. “I admire your courage and so I will help you. I have a suite
ready at the palace for the festivities. We will be relatively safe there as I
will take my guards with me. Borealis will keep in contact with us and there
are plenty of ways to get you out if anything goes wrong.”

“I have to be honest. I still don’t trust you.”

“That’s what makes you wise, and it’s that wisdom that will
keep you safe.”

“There’s one other thing,” said Tani carefully, not wanting
to fully expose herself before Morana. “Before we go I need to visit someone in
the ghetto.”

Morana nodded as if she knew exactly what was in Tani’s
head. Maybe she
was
psychic. “I expected as much. I will assign you a
guard. Be back by six. We leave for the palace tonight.” She turned on her
heels and headed for the library.

Tani’s heart thudded with adrenaline. She would soon have
answers to her questions. Was it excitement that had her lightheaded and dizzy?
The thought of seeing Lorcan at the palace? Or was it the faint hope, the very
faint hope that she might soon see Jaro again?

Half an hour later Tani stood outside the door to Liana’s
hovel, remembering a dark-haired man interacting with a small urchin boy. She
had thought it was Lorcan she had seen that day but now she wasn’t so sure of
anything. How did he fit into this Esseni triangle?

The door stood open. Tani paused on the threshold, her heart
pounding with the knowledge that so much would be revealed once she stepped
through this doorway. Revelations that would shape her life and that of the
entire universe. She had to know what had led Jaro to do the things he had
done, to become what he was and it was Liana who had the answers she needed.

Before she could knock, a familiar voice interrupted the
direction of her thoughts. “Hey, it’s the newbie!” Tani glanced down to see
Sami grinning at her, his blue eyes clear and shining. He turned and beckoned
to the blonde woman she had seen on the day of her abduction. The woman who
must be Sami’s mother, the woman Jaro had supposedly raped and Lorcan had
protected.

The woman drew closer, blonde hair hanging limp around her
face, an expression of hesitance and mistrust in her eyes. Those eyes were
circled by dark rings set in a sweet face left ravaged by poverty. A hard life
and the consequences of circumstances beyond her control had eroded this
woman’s vitality, leaving her cheeks hollow, her eyes haunted. Tani watched her
apprehension fade on seeing Sami’s relaxed face and the woman smiled kindly and
extended her hand. “Oh it’s you,” she said. “Sami told me about you. We were so
worried when we saw what happened the other day. Are you okay?”

Her concern was genuine. Tani took her hand and pulled her
into a hug, wanting to somehow give her comfort. She flinched and Tani
immediately drew back, realizing this woman did not want to be touched. The
scars ran deep. A heavy weight settled in her chest, a reminder that Jaro was
responsible for this woman’s predicament. “Thank you for your concern,” Tani
said. “I was told I have you to thank for alerting the Eunomi.”

“I did, but when Sami told me those men had also taken Jaro,
I knew you would be safe.” She smiled fondly. “I bet they were soon sorry.”

She could feel the genuine love Liana bore for Jaro, could
hear it in her voice.
The man who raped her then abandoned her with his
child?
Surely that couldn’t be true and if it was perhaps he
had
atoned
for his behavior in some way and she had since forgiven him. Then again, it
seemed more likely he hadn’t raped Liana at all but if that was so, why would
Lorcan lie about it?

Sami laughed. “Jaro would have shown ‘em. He’s the best
fighter in the world!” Such praise for a father who had abandoned his son.
Knives stabbed at Tani’s heart. It was obvious Sami adored Jaro. If he was, as
she now believed, her Esseni partner, how could she take him away from them?

“Please sit down.” Sami’s mother indicated a chair to Tani’s
left. “My name is Liana and you are Tanith Laska. Is that correct?” Tani nodded
and sat down. Liana added some water to a kettle which she placed on a rusty-looking
stove. “Would you like some refreshment? We have bread and coffee.”

“No but thank you…I…” Tani paused flustered, unsure how to
proceed. Their attitude toward Jaro confused her and her questions now seemed too
intrusive, too personal. How could she ask Liana, a stranger about having been
raped?

“You want to ask me about Sami’s father, don’t you?” Liana’s
dark eyes held Tani’s gaze steady. Somehow Liana sensed the reason behind Tani’s
visit.

“Can we talk in private?”

“Of course. Sami, go and play with Esta for a while. Come
back for supper.” Sami grinned and darted out the door. “Bye, pretty lady!” he
shouted as he went. Tani smiled. “He’s a real charmer.” Turning back to Liana, Tani
saw her eyes were now sad. “He gets that from his father, but at least with
Sami I know it’s genuine.” Liana’s sadness permeated the air. “I was so naïve,”
she continued. “I believed promises that were as false as the civilized mask he
projects to the world.”

Tani frowned. This didn’t sound like Jaro. He had been
nothing but honorable in his dealings with her. It was almost as if they were
talking about two different people. A small kernel of hope grew in Tani’s chest
and she began to wonder if her suspicions could be true.

“He said he would give me everything but it was all lies.
Don’t trust him Tani. Everything he says is false.”

Tani didn’t believe that Jaro had ever lied to her, other
than trying to push her away. Lorcan, on the other hand, had lied or at the
very least misled her about that kiss. She had hoped beyond hope that Liana
would tell her something miraculous. Give her some thread of possibility to
hold on to no matter how small or frayed. It seemed that perhaps she was but
Tani still needed to ask the question. “So he didn’t rape you and then abandon
you?”

Liana snorted. “Oh no, he didn’t rape me. I told you—I was
willing. He was so charming, so sophisticated.” Liana shook her head as if she
couldn’t believe her naivety. “Being a cousin of mine he would visit often with
his mother. He took every opportunity to catch me alone. We evaded our chaperones
and eventually I gave in to his pleas to meet in our summerhouse one night. I
resisted at first but he was very persistent and we became lovers.” Tani
pondered for a second but then drew her brows together as Liana’s words
penetrated. She had long since begun to believe that Jaro could not have raped
Liana. It was not in his nature but why Lorcan had lied she didn’t know and
what Liana was saying didn’t make any sense. “Why was he visiting with his
mother?” she asked. “I thought he lost contact and was abandoned by her when he
became a slave.”

It was Liana’s turn to appear puzzled. “I think you’ve
misunderstood,” she said slowly. “Jaro is not Sami’s father. Lorcan is.”

Tani knew she shouldn’t really be shocked. Lorcan!
Lorcan
is Sami’s father?
Everything was slotting into place. Lorcan had
continually lied about everything. The only question was why. What kind of
double game was he playing? The whole twin thing was messing with her head.

“Let me get this straight,” she said. “Why does everyone
think Jaro raped you if Lorcan is Sami’s father?”

Liana stared back at her shocked. “You actually thought Jaro
raped me? Jaro is the best thing that ever happened to Sami and me,” she said
fiercely. “If it wasn’t for Jaro we would both be dead.”

Tani’s heart both plummeted and soared. Even if he wasn’t
Sami’s father it was obvious Liana and Sami needed him. How could she take him
away? Would he want to be with them rather than her, his Esseni partner?

“The rape accusation was concocted by my father to cover up
his shame that I was pregnant. He wanted a culprit and the finger was pointed
at Lorcan by a servant who saw us together. Lorcan wormed his way out of it by
making his brother confess. He said that as Jaro was already known as a rapist
it wouldn’t make much difference to him. Years ago Jaro was accused of rape by
the daughter of his first master. She was a known slut who slept with every
young virile slave in her father’s house. They had no choice but to do as she
said, although I think Jaro truly was in love with her. But then she got
pregnant and accused Jaro of raping her. He wanted to marry her but she denied
him. They aborted his child and broke his heart.”

Tani’s brain was a whirr of remembered moments, full of
Lorcan and Jaro. How could she have been so blind? Jaro had been betrayed so
many times it was not surprising he had pushed her away.

“Jaro agreed to take the blame for his brother’s sake, just
as he agreed to become a slave to redeem his mother’s debts. He would have
married me if I had let him, but he doesn’t love me so I refused. But he never
abandoned us, just like he never abandons any of those in need in the ghetto.
Jaro is loved here—a hero. The people would do anything for him.”

Tani felt as though her heart would burst. There was no
doubt in her mind now. It
was
Jaro she had seen in the bazaar and with
the girls in the brothel. Jaro who had caused the riot of emotions that had
rocked her world. It had only ever been him. Never Lorcan. It was Jaro who was
a shield to the poor, protecting and making endless sacrifices. That he who had
such cause to hate could hold such love for others!

“Do you know that he volunteered himself into slavery?”
Liana’s question answered the one that had plagued Tani since she had met him.
Why was he a slave and not his brother? “His mother only needed one of them to
pay off the debt. Jaro stepped up to save his worthless brother. Even now I
think he would still protect him if he needed to. He makes me so mad sometimes!”
Liana ran her fingers through her blonde hair in frustration and gave a wry
smile. “I see you’re also under his spell.”

Tani couldn’t deny it. Her feelings for Jaro were so far
beyond the normal bonds of love and affection that tied her to others that she
couldn’t even begin to express them. All she knew was that she had to make it
right for him. She had to set him free.