Raging Blue (25 page)

“Les, you need to stop,” Sandra said, snickering.

“No, ma’am. I’m not gay nor am I on the down-low.”

“Well, that’s good,” she said while slathering her third serving of turkey with cranberry sauce. “It’s hard to tell these days. I see you wearing some nice cufflinks. I know quality when I see it. What you do for a living?” she asked while chewing a wad of turkey.

“I own a sports agency,” Gavin replied politely.

“Very nice! I hope you went to school for that, because we didn’t invest all our time getting Lee through school to be messing around with just any kind of man. Lee always had dreams, and I’d hate to see her with someone who isn’t worth her time. She’s a great catch,” Leslie stated without even looking at Gavin.

The consensus around the table confirmed the fact that trying to bridle Leslie’s tongue was futile. Everyone except Hubert just rolled their eyes and chimed in every now and then, trying to change the subject. Somehow, Leslie always brought the conversation back to Gavin. Where was his family from? How long had he been in business? Had he ever been to jail? How many baby mamas did he have? Leslie was delighted that he wasn’t gay and hadn’t gotten any stray women pregnant. Gavin hung in there like a trooper, tickled by Leslie’s honesty and curiosity. By the end of dinner, Lisa’s eyes begged for his forgiveness. Gavin wasn’t bothered at all. He appreciated her family’s authenticity.

On the way home, Lisa and he joked about the evening as she continued to apologize.

“Do you want me to take you straight home?” Gavin asked as he sped through midtown on the FDR.

“It’s up to you. I don’t know about you, but I don’t have to work tomorrow. I could stay another night if you don’t have anything to do.”

Gavin stayed quiet. His phone vibrated. In his heart, he felt like it was Blue. He let his silence do the talking once again and pulled off at his exit near the Upper East Side. If it was Blue calling and he went home alone, he’d surely call her back. Keeping Lisa around gave him an excuse to keep ignoring her.

When they reached his penthouse, Gavin poured them a drink, unbuttoned his shirt, and slopped lazily on the couch with Lisa in his arms. After only moments of sipping, Lisa fell into a light sleep. Gavin eased himself from under her, headed to the bathroom, and pulled out his phone, thumbing through his messages and missed calls. He paused when he saw Blue’s one missed call and then checked his text messages. Among many Thanksgiving wishes, there was one from Blue stating,
I just wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving. I miss you, my friend.

Instinctively, Gavin pressed the talk button, dialing Blue’s number, and she answered on the first ring. When she said hello, a flutter surged through him. He disconnected the call without responding.

Chapter
54

Blue

Blue
needed to see Gavin. He’d been on her mind for the past few days and she decided that there was no better time than the present. She pulled on a jacket to ward off the crisp, cool evening air and jumped in a taxi, anxious about her unplanned visit. She fought reservations about just showing up during the entire ride over and as she entered the building then called up to Gavin’s penthouse from the lobby phone.

“Hello!” Gavin answered quickly and cheerfully.

“Hi,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t hang up.

“Blue?”

“Can I come up?”

After a long pause,
he finally responded as she shifted impatiently on her feet. “I only have a few minutes to spare.”

“This won’t take long. I promise
.”

When she reached the penthouse, Gavin was out on the balcony. Weary footsteps carried her across the floor. Each one weighted with foreboding. Surely Gavin knew she was there, but he never turned to acknowledge her. Blue contemplated taking lighter steps back towards the elevator, but instead, she pressed on.

“Hi,” she said to his back.

“Hi,” he responded without turning. “What brings you here?” He finally turned around, stone-faced.

“Gavin…” Now that she was in front of him, she didn’t know where to start, but then the words rushed out. “I need you.” Blue wished she had better control on the reigns holding them in. “I know you’ve been avoiding me. I’m sorry…again. I admit it. I wanted to make Jay jealous. But, that’s not the only reason I made love to you.”

Gavin stood firm on his feet and dared Blue visually. The stern gaze felt like pine needles prickling her skin.

“I made love to you because I wanted to. I'd wanted to for so long. I needed that…from you.” Blue quieted. “After this, I’ll leave.” She paused again. His rigidity taunted her nerves. She shifted her sight away from him. For a few moments, she stared at the floor. She could feel his impatience heightening. Finally, she lifted her eyes to meet his.

“I love you.”

Blue started her long walk back to the elevator. She hated the fact that she'd failed Gavin. She felt his eyes on her back as she walked out of his life for good. Besides realizing she was in love with him, she recognized that he was also a true friend. His absence left a gaping hole in her life. If she couldn’t move on with him in her life as a lover, she at least wanted her friend back. Either way, she needed to put it all on the line, let the chips fall where they may. One way or the other, she had to bring closure to the distance that had grown between them.

“You love me?”
He sounded surprised.

She froze. “I do,” she said without turning back to face him. She started walking again, hoping he’d say something else, yet knowing he probably wouldn’t.

“How do you know?” he asked.

Blue’s heart pounded in her chest. “I realized it that day. After that, I knew for sure when you refused to talk to me or answer my calls,” she said, still afraid to look at him.

She wanted to say more, but her lips wouldn’t cooperate with her mind. She couldn’t bring herself to say that she found herself needing him more than she'd ever felt she needed Jay. She wished he could read her mind so she wouldn’t have to search for the words to explain how his absence suffocated her. Surely she couldn’t tell him that she’d come by so many times before but didn’t have the courage to ask to be invited in. Though she had nothing against her personally, she could never mention how much she envied Lisa for simply being able to have a normal conversation with him. The destruction of their friendship and whatever else they could have had, had fallen on her.

“That’s funny,” Gavin said.

Blue sucked her teeth and picked up her pace.

“Because I love you, too…and I always have,” he added, causing her to stop in her tracks.

Stunned by Gavin’s admission, Blue played with the words in her head, second-guessing what she’d heard.

“But, you belonged to Jay,” he continued. “When he hurt you, I wanted to rescue you from all the pain, but then you did what you did.”

Blue faced him. They locked eyes. Neither of them heard the elevator chime. Then the doors opened, and Lisa stepped into the penthouse.

“I’m so sorry, Gavin,” Blue said as hot tears fell from her eyes. “If you could ever forgive me, I promise…” Blue noticed the shift in Gavin’s eyes and turned around.

Lisa stood with her hand on her hip and her lips tight. “Don’t let me interrupt.”

Her tone was polite, but Blue felt the bitterness behind the words. She didn’t know how much Lisa knew about her, but she sensed she didn’t like her. Women knew when other women had interests in their men. Blue detected that Lisa saw her as a threat by way of her demeanor and her scrutinizing eyes. Lisa’s intent stare was confirmation. Some knowledge of Blue had obviously preceded this chance meeting. Why else would Lisa seem to cast such a callous vibe? Especially since this was the first time Blue had ever set eyes on this woman.

Blue looked to Gavin. He looked between the two women and took a deep breath. It seemed like everyone in the room waited for him to determine where the moment would go from there.

“Blue, I’ll call you,” he said dismissively, and then he turned his attention to Lisa. “I need to talk to you.”

Feeling an odd mix of dejection and excitement, Blue dragged herself to the elevator to leave. She replayed the words that contributed to her state of flux over and over in her head.

Because I love you, too, but then you did what you did.

Chapter 55

Mia

Despite fatigue, sleep evaded Mia for most of the night, again. For days, her nerves had been twisted in knots. She squeezed her eyes shut, then gave up and huffed. Her night spent in jail, Jay’s behavior since their trip to New York, and the possibility of going to prison made her weary. She threw the covers back and went to the bathroom. Once she returned, she decided to check in on Jay. She found herself standing in the doorway, watching him sleep in the other room. In her mind, she slipped into the bed beside him. In reality, she knew he’d protest. The certainty of rejection sent her dragging back to her room.

Mia slid back into bed alone and longed for sleep. Suddenly, her eyes popped open from the surge of pain in her abdomen. The quick bolt took her breath away and left her clutching her lower stomach. Ten minutes later, it was back. This time, Mia sat straight up in bed spurting labored breaths. She thought about what she’d eaten the night before, and then blamed it on the anxiety from the turmoil infiltrating her life. Another surge struck her, and she cried out, swung her legs over the side of the bed, and panted.

When the pain subsided, Mia was able to catch her breath. She suppressed her fears and stood on wobbly legs.

“Jay!” she yelled, and immediately felt pressure on her pelvis. Afraid to move, she braced her belly. “Oh my God!” She screamed louder, “Jay!”

Seconds passed, but they felt like minutes. Realizing she was in labor, Mia held onto her stomach, anticipating the next contraction as she cautiously trudged towards Jay’s room. Moments later, another pain shot through her. She doubled over and cried out. Jay jerked out of his sleep.

“I’m…having the…baby!” Mia sputtered.

“Now?” Jay leapt from his bed.

“Yes, now!” Mia said breathlessly as she held firmly to her stomach.

“Oh shit!” he said, running circles.
Then he walked her to the bathroom to shower and get ready for the hospital.

After Mia contacted the doctor, they jumped in the car. Jay sped through the streets without talking. Mia wanted to focus on the baby coming, but couldn’t help wondering what was on Jay’s mind
, except when the contractions snuck in and snatched her focus every couple of minutes.

Jay screeched to a hard stop in the bay at the hospital’s entrance, jumped out of the car, and raced inside to find help. He quickly returned with a portly orderly pushing a wheelchair. Mia was just catching her breath from the latest contraction when
they stopped at her side of the car.

“Good morning…” he said. His pleasant baby face, small eyes, and calm voice contrasted his sturdy stature.

“Ms. Reynolds,” she panted.

“Good morning, Ms. Reynolds. I’m Darren. Is this your first?” he asked while easily helping her into the wheelchair.

“Yes…yes, it is,” she stammered. “Owww!” she cried.

“Don’t worry. You’re in good hands. Just take nice, easy breaths. This will all be over before you know it,” he said. His lips spread into a wide comforting smile.

“It hurts…bad,” she said, bending forward as much as she could in the wheelchair.

Jay still hadn’t said much as he trailed behind them. The orderly’s cool voice soothed Mia. It made her feel like someone was in her corner.

She cried out again. The loudest since the pain began. The guy picked up his speed as he rolled her through the bright sterile corridor, through a large set of double doors, and past rushing medical staff. As they entered the labor and delivery wing, Mia heard other mothers screaming in anguish. The melody of labor, doctors commanding patients to push, babies trying out their lungs, and the scurry of the medical staff made Mia’s heart race. She second-guessed her condition and then held out her hand for Jay to hold, looking for his comfort. Jay missed the signal.

“Jay! Come…here…please.”

“What’s up?” he asked calmly.

His casual tone brought Mia’s emotions to the surface. Her eyes watered, but she blinked back the tears as he came to her side. She reached for his hand, held it tight, and waited for him to match the intensity of her grip. He didn’t. She wanted him to pacify her—rub her back and promise her that everything would be alright. She wanted him to share her anxiety and excitement. Jay didn’t release her hand, but barely held her back. Eventually, Mia dropped his hand and wrapped her arms around herself, wincing when the contractions hit her.

A male nurse set Mia up in a small white room filled with machines she’d never seen before. He patted her hand and smiled. “You’re doing fine. The doctor will be right in.”

On cue, Dr. Lisbon entered the room. His erect posture made him appear almost as tall as Jay. His strong chin and cleanly shaven face gave him a young polished look. His hazel eyes were penetrating but soothing, which complemented his brunette crop. He looked more like an actor than a real doctor.

“How’s my favorite patient?”

“This hurts!” she moaned.

He chuckled. “I know, but you’re doing fine.” He turned to Jay. “You must be the lucky father.”

“Not sure. How soon can we do a DNA test?” Jay asked.

Mia’s mouth dropped. She closed it before Dr. Lisbon turned back to her direction. She could tell by the awkward expression lurking just under the surface of his professional coolness that he was just as shocked as she was. The male nurse, Darren, busied himself checking her vital signs.

“Well, Mr…”

“Mack. Jaylin Mack.” Jay shook the doctor’s hand.

“I wouldn’t necessarily be responsible for that kind of testing,” he said, and then went to wash his hands in the small basin at the corner of the room.

Darren worked diligently, hooking Mia up to the noisy machinery. Mia felt like a robot connected to all the cords and beeping units. Several monitors checked her and the baby’s heart rate, her blood pressure, and the contractions. The unit monitoring the baby sounded like horses stampeding inside her belly.

“I can offer you some information on how to order the tests,” Dr. Lisbon continued.

“Okay, thanks,” Jay said as he stepped out of the medical staff’s way.

Besides the blips and beeps of the monitors, the room remained quiet as Dr. Lisbon and his crew of residents examined Mia.

“Okay. We have a little time. Your water hasn’t broken, and you've only dilated about six centimeters. Your contractions are still several minutes apart. Just try to relax and remember your breathing techniques. I’ll be back to check on you shortly.” He pulled a cord from behind the hospital bed and handed it to Mia. “If you begin to feel really uncomfortable, just press this button.” He showed Mia the small red button at the end of the wire.

“Thank you, Doctor.”

Dr. Lisbon touched Mia’s shoulder, then he and Darren both smiled as they exited the small room. When they left, Mia squinted at Jay, who sat in the chair beside the bed.

“Why did you have to ask the doctor that?” she scolded Jay.

“Ask what?” At first, Jay looked puzzled. Then the realization hit him. “About the DNA test?”

“Yes! What do you think?” she snapped.

“Because I want to know as soon as possible,” he said.

“Can’t you even give the baby a chance to come out?” Mia’s voice wavered.

“Let’s not pretend we’re a happy couple anticipating our firstborn.”

Mia turned away from Jay and bit down on her quivering lip. When she turned back to him, he was sitting with his head in his hands. The tightness she felt in her heart was almost as jarring as her contractions. She laid her head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. She wanted Jay to leave, but having him there was better than going through this completely alone. When he saw the baby, he’d warm up to the situation, or at least that’s what she hoped.

Mia dozed off but was jolted awake by a strong contraction. She pushed the red button. When Dr. Lisbon came in, she asked for the anesthesiologist.

“Are you sure?” Dr. Lisbon asked. “You were doing so well.”

Mia cringed from the pain. “I’m absolutely sure,” she said, looking forward to being numb.

“Okay. Let me check you out, and then we’ll get you all set up.” Dr. Lisbon washed his hands once again and re-examined her. “I’m afraid it’s a little too late for anesthesia. It’s time.”

Mia gasped. The next contraction caused beads of sweat to pop out across her forehead. She clutched the rails along the side of the bed, screamed, and pulled her torso forward. She lay back and squirmed about, trying to find comfort. Tears spilled from the sides of her eyes, and her breathing grew frantic. Dr. Lisbon called in his staff.

“I feel like I’m peeing on myself!”

“Your water broke,” Dr. Lisbon informed her. “We’re ready,” he instructed his staff.

Everyone took their positions. Jay moved his chair out of their way, but remained seated.

“Okay. I need you to push with your next contraction, okay?”

Mia shook her head. Tears mixed with streams of sweat. Her damp crop laid slick against her head.

Dr. Lisbon set his eyes on the monitor. “Okay. Here we go. Now push!”

Mia pushed and bawled. She felt the baby move
further down the birth canal.

“Great job, Mia. Now do it again just like that.”

Mia pushed again and again before screaming, “I can’t do this!”

“We’re almost there. I can see the top of the baby’s head,” Dr. Lisbon encouraged.

“You can do it,” Darren added.

Mia felt like passing out. She'd never imagined the pain she felt. An older stubby nurse took Mia’s hand and allowed Mia to squeeze hers.

“One more, Mia. We’re almost there.”

Mia mustered all the strength she could and howled as she pushed once again. She felt a pop and instant relief. She wasn’t sure what happened, until she heard the first cries of her newborn baby.

“Congratulations, Mia. You have a baby girl!”

Still panting, Mia covered her face and cried into her hands.