Rainbow Blues (27 page)

The pain in his heart battled with the growing pain in his leg, burning off the muzzy aftereffects of whatever drugs he’d been given. He hadn’t wanted to do this, but maybe it was better this way.

“There’s no one else, Jimmy. I doubt there ever will be. But I saw that article—”

“I told you. I didn’t cheat. It was a stupid ploy dreamed up by the producer.”

“That’s not what I meant. The article was pretty clear—you’ve got a great future ahead of you. If you’re free of me, you can pursue that, maybe even find a guy who’s better suited to Hollywood. This is for the best. Best for you.” Luke barely got those words out because they meant no more Jimmy in his life, and with his stupidity in getting hit by a car, he wasn’t even going to get good-bye sex to remember him by. Not like he’d ever be able to forget Jimmy. For the rest of his life, he’d be comparing all potential boyfriends, and none of them would come close.

A growl from deep within Jimmy’s chest escaped, and he stood up, cheeks flushed and furious in a way Luke had never witnessed.

“Best for me? How do you figure?”

“You were so happy in those pictures. You’re supposed to be happy, Jimmy. Or maybe it’s James, now that you’re an up-and-coming star.” Luke wasn’t sure, exactly, why this wasn’t working out as smoothly as when he and Kelly had had a similar discussion. Of course, this time Luke was devastated, and he’d only been relieved when he and Kelly finally ended their marriage, but he’d sort of thought Jimmy would be relieved, as well, that Luke wasn’t going to make a fuss.

“I still hate James,” Jimmy snapped. “And of course I was happy in those pictures. Because I wasn’t
acting
.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Clearly.” Jimmy’s tone should have drawn blood.

“But you love acting.”

Jimmy held out his palm in a “stop” gesture. “No. I’m going to talk, which I’m good at. And you’re going to listen, which you are
normally
good at.”

“What’s going on in here?” Zach burst into the room, probably drawn by Jimmy’s increasingly raised voice.

Luke opened his mouth, but Jimmy stopped him again. “No.” Then he turned to Zach. “Your father is trying to dump me out of some misguided notion of being a martyr.”

Zach didn’t know what to do with an angry, snapping Jimmy any more than Luke did. His glance slid from Jimmy back to Luke, before settling on Jimmy again.

“Well, maybe if….”

“Zach, honey,” Jimmy drawled, and it wasn’t sweet or nice at all. “I’m going to educate your father in a few truths. Because there are a few things best for
him
. You can stay and watch if you like, I don’t mind an audience, but it might not be pretty.”

Zach’s eyes widened. “He’s injured. Are you sure this the best time for this?”

“I’m not going to hurt him, for fuck’s sake. I love your father, and he’ll recover much faster once he realizes he’s a big idiot. Now get out.”

Unaccustomed to that sort of direct, uncompromising order, Zach fled. Luke was pretty sure he’d hover outside, but if there was anything Luke could be sure of, besides the fact that Jimmy wouldn’t cheat, is that Jimmy wouldn’t maliciously hurt him. Zach had to know it too, or his stubborn son wouldn’t have left them alone.

“Jimmy, don’t do this. Don’t give up your dream for me.”

Those were exactly the wrong words to say, because Jimmy’s eyes flashed, his hands clenched, and he looked like he was suppressing a primal scream.

“Quiet. I’m talking. You listen.”

Luke pressed his lips together. He’d never seen Jimmy like this, all that vibrant energy changed from bubbles and light to angry red shards.

“First of all,” Jimmy said as he stared at Luke, hands moving to punctuate his words. “This is a partnership. And that means I don’t get my way all the time, and you don’t get to decide what’s right for me without my say so. If our paths look like they’re diverging, we should talk. There might be compromises. There might be sacrifices we’re willing to make. But you were willing to sacrifice our relationship without talking to me. You will never do that again. Understand?”

Luke cleared his throat. “Yes. But, Jimmy—”

“No. You don’t think we could have discussed you moving out to LA as an option? Construction is everywhere, and as close as you are to your son, he’s a grown man. Hell, you could even start up your own chapter of the Rainbow Blues. We could have discussed having smaller places here and in LA.”

“Oh.” Luke had sort of leapt to one conclusion, and he could only conclude it had been fear that made him do so. Fear that Jimmy wanted to leave him behind as he moved into a shiny new life.

“Yes, oh.”

“I guess… the distance thing was freaking me out. Not talking to you on the phone, not visiting.”

“And you should have told me. Because as much as I hated it, I knew it was temporary.” Jimmy’s voice softened, and his arms lost some of their exaggerated, choppy movements. “But you were worried this was how life was going to be from now on.”

“Or worse.” Luke had been afraid the lack of calls had only been a way to ease him into a breakup, and he’d struck first to keep himself from further pain.

“Oh, Luke.” Jimmy sat down beside him again and threaded their fingers together. “You were so blunt when we started dating. Blunt enough about your desire to commit that you would have scared away most men. You should have said something.”

“You’re right. I should have.” God, he was stupid. “Maybe we should still sell the house. It will be a while before I can look for work in California.”

Jimmy huffed out an exasperated laugh. “This is partly my fault. I told you how different it was, acting for a film. What I never told you was how much I hated it. Despised it. Loathed, even. I kept telling myself that this was my dream, and I was only having difficulty adjusting because I’d gotten in a rut or I’d gotten too comfortable in my backup plan. Teaching was only supposed to be temporary. But I got to the end of that film and on the last day… I felt nothing. There was a small sense of accomplishment, because we were done. But there was no joy. No high. No sense that I was challenging myself. I understand for film actors, getting it right for film is a challenge they enjoy. I didn’t. I enjoy the challenge of running through an entire play with no flubs. I like the immediate gratification of an audience laughing or crying or applauding. That’s what drives my passion. I even missed teaching, and I’m kinda pissed I’m not going to be able to do anything but sub for this coming semester.”

“But….” This sounded too good to be true.

“Luke, even if we weren’t together, I would still be coming back to this life. But you’re what makes me complete, and I don’t want to have to live this life or any other without you.”

There were still a few tears left in the well, and they coursed down Luke’s cheeks. Jimmy wiped his own eyes and kissed Luke’s away.

“This isn’t because I got hurt, is it?”

Jimmy narrowed his eyes, and Luke had the feeling he’d be paying for his doubt for a long time.

“As a matter of fact, I was already on a plane home while you were getting shitfaced. When your bratty son called to tell me about your surgery, I was already at the house. Which, incidentally, is how I know you contacted someone about selling it.”

Luke smiled, the happiness making his physical pain almost bearable. Jimmy was going to forgive him. Jimmy truly wanted the life they’d started to build together, and Luke hadn’t fucked it up beyond all recognition.

“I also have a little gift for you, although I have a feeling I’ll have to show you the receipt so you know I bought it before that horrible article was posted.”

Luke shook his head. “I’ll believe you. I promise.”

Jimmy smiled, wide and happy, the way he should always look if Luke had his way. He disengaged their hands, pulled a small blue box out of his pocket, and placed it on Luke’s chest.

“Is this…?”

Jimmy had always liked little gifts for no reason, and after the first one, Luke had always made sure his random gifts were blue. This was the first blue gift Jimmy had got for him, though.

Jimmy kept smiling, although tears stood out in his eyes and his voice wobbled. “Out of the blue, I fell in love with you. Will you marry me, Luke?”

All the oxygen was sucked out of the room as Luke processed the question. He flipped open the box to find two silver-colored rings inside.

“Oh, yes, Jimmy, yes.”

Laughing and crying at the same time, they kissed. A sweet, molten kiss of promise. One which he’d have liked to have followed with a more physical response.

“Put it away, keep it safe until I get out of here.” Luke didn’t think he’d be allowed to wear it, not yet.

“I will, don’t worry.”

“Jimmy, you are going to do the Aquaman movie, though, aren’t you? It’s a fantastic opportunity.”

“Were you not listening to me? They can get someone else to be the fish whisperer.”

Luke laughed. He’d never heard Aquaman called that before. Suddenly, his eyes drooped, and fatigue slammed over him like a brick to the head.

“Oh, hon, you’re all tired out. You go to sleep, and I’ll go tell your son I’m making an honest man out of you.”

“Don’t go,” Luke slurred out.

“Not going anywhere. I’ll be here when you wake up again, I promise.”

If there was nothing else certain in his life, Luke could trust Jimmy’s promises. Happy and content, he drifted off.

J
IMMY
PUSHED
Luke’s wheelchair around Home Depot, stopping at all the places Luke normally skipped over.

They’d spent an inordinate amount of time looking at ceiling fixtures, which was doubly irritating because Luke was so damned far away from them in the chair. But he loved seeing how excited Jimmy got.

“Karen just about shit herself with jealousy when she realized that I was going to have a couple of months to leisurely plan our wedding while she’d be stuck at work.” Jimmy gave a gleeful little laugh.

Since he was on sabbatical and the
Walking Wounded
movie had paid more than enough to support him during that sabbatical, he was determined to spend every waking moment working on decorating their home or planning the wedding. In between taking care of Luke, that was. It was a new experience for Luke, being the one taken care of, but Jimmy was great, and they got along so well that even when Luke got discouraged about how restricted his movements were until his leg healed, Jimmy was able to jolly him right out of his bad mood.

Most of their jollies had involved blow jobs and hand jobs, since that was about the most Luke was capable of, but orgasms with Jimmy were always spectacular. He shifted a little in the seat, readjusting himself while Jimmy made notes on prices and sizes, snapping pics of various light fixtures.

Then they stopped by the paint chips, and Jimmy came a hair’s breadth from squealing like a girl.

“Ooh, maybe these two would complement this in the kitchen.” Then another color palette would catch his eye and he’d flutter over to it, snatching up various different colored cards.

By the time Jimmy was done, Luke was in awe. “The place is going to look like a rainbow. Are you sure that’s all going to look good together?”

Jimmy gave him what Luke’s mother would have called the “stink-eye.”

“Just who is the decorator in this family?”

“You are.”

His fiancé huffed. “Exactly. And don’t you forget it.”

“Anything going to be blue?”

“Of course not. You know we’re saving blue for other things.”

Yeah, they were. “I might be wearing blue underwear,” Luke said hopefully.

Jimmy snorted. “You sure as hell are not. I’ve done all your laundry, and you haven’t got any blue pairs.”

“Maybe I ordered on the Internet.” He hadn’t, but all he could think about now was getting naked with his fiancé, not whether ochre would clash with sandstorm.

In the blink of an eye, Luke saw Jimmy’s focus switch from paint to penis as he winked. “Maybe I’ll have to investigate. Let’s get this stuff and get home.”

Luke grinned. Blue might be a melancholy color for some, but for him and Jimmy, it would always be the color of love.

KC B
URN
has been writing for as long as she can remember and is a sucker for happy endings (of all kinds). After moving from Toronto to Florida for her husband to take a dream job, she discovered a love of gay romance and fulfilled a dream of her own—getting published. After a few years of editing web content by day, and neglecting her supportive, understanding hubby and needy cat at night to write stories about men loving men, she was uprooted yet again and now resides in California. Writing is always fun and rewarding, but writing about her guys is the most fun she’s had in a long time, and she hopes you’ll enjoy them as much as she does.

Visit KC at her website: http://kcburn.com/, on Twitter: https://twitter.com/authorkcburn, or on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kcburn.