Raising The Stakes (Heartwarming Romance) (19 page)

Dazed, Vivie looked around the barn, feeling as though someone had shaken her world like a snow globe and nothing was coming down in the same place. Would Liam miss her and Button when he’d settled in Yellowstone? Or would she be forgotten? Another trap he’d escaped?

Vivie hugged Button’s neck and the bear rested her chin on Vivie’s shoulder, her warm breath rushing by Vivie’s ear. Suddenly, Button jerked away.

“Where are you going?” Vivie called, though she already knew. The bear nosed through the hay until she’d sniffed out her turtle and grabbed it.

“You love Turtle, don’t you?”

Button rolled on her back, paws in the air and chewed on what was left of Turtle’s head.

“I love you, too,” she murmured, her vision blurring as she realized she’d never said it to Liam. If she had found the courage, would it have made a difference? Convinced him to stay? She’d never know.

As for Button, this amazing cub had changed Vivie’s life. Saved it as surely as she’d come to Button’s rescue. How could their tie be cut?

Horns tooted in the driveway. For a moment she eyed the back door of the barn, imagining letting Button out, escaping to some distant spot where the DEC couldn’t find them. What she would give for even one more night with her bear. Another day with her man.

Shoving herself to her feet, she trudged to the barn door, unlatched it and slid it open. Liam and two other officers stood by a van and something within her crumbled when she glimpsed the large crate inside.

Vivie froze, her thoughts a howl.
No. No. No. No. No.

She glanced back at Button. Did the bear have any idea how much her life was about to change? Did Vivie?

Liam approached, his face serious. “I’m sorry, Vivie, but we need to take Button.”

“You don’t need to take her,” she cried, anger temporarily evaporating her despair. “You’re following policy. Or your own ‘life rules.’” She stuffed her shaking hands in her pockets.

“Either way, it’s time for her to go,” he said softly, his voice hoarse. Was he putting on some kind of act? Pretending that it hurt him to see Button leave? Or did he ache inside like her, a raw wound?

She stared at him until he flinched, wanting to know how he really felt. Maybe he’d realize how wrong he was and take everything back. Maybe he’d stay...

“Please step aside, Vivie.”

“And if I told you no?”

“It wouldn’t change anything.”

Despite her best efforts, her lower lip quivered. “Then do it,” she cried and turned away.

Liam whistled to Button as he did when they hiked. Immediately the bear bounded after him, eager for the day’s adventure. Only this time, she’d never come back and neither would Liam.

Vivie wiped away a tear and felt Scooter butt against her legs. What would she do without Button and Liam? How would they do without her? A weight settled on her chest, making each breath a struggle.

Steps receded behind her and suddenly all was quiet in the barn accept for Scooter’s panting. When an engine sounded, she shook herself out of her stupor.

Button was leaving and she hadn’t even said goodbye.

She raced outside to see Liam and another officer lift Button into the crate and slam it closed. Before she reached the van, they’d secured the hatch.

“I didn’t say goodbye!” she sobbed, heedless now of how she sounded. The officer exchanged a glance with Liam, then joined his coworker in the front of the idling vehicle.

“Liam. Open the crate. Let me kiss her one last time. Please.”

“We were lucky to get her in as easily as we did. I’m sorry but it’s too late.”

She shoved by him and peered through the window at her bear. Button pushed her narrow nose through the wires and butted against the glass. Vivie pressed a kiss there, wishing Button could feel it. Know her mother cared.

She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted, “I love you. Be safe.”

Button raised a paw and batted at the cage door, her head twisting from side to side.

“Don’t forget me,” Vivie choked out. She leaned her forehead on the hatch, then stepped back when the van drove away. Button’s wide brown eyes peered at her until they turned onto the road and rounded a bend.

Vivie’s legs gave out and pebbles cut into her knees.

“It’ll be okay, Vivie.”

She shoved Liam’s hand away, craving and rejecting his touch at the same time.

“None of this is okay. Please leave.”

No...stay...

Love me enough not to go...

A deep sadness filled his eyes. “I’m on my way to Yellowstone now.”

She glanced at his U-Haul truck, his collie, Extra Pickles, squeezing her head through the open passenger-side window.

“Goodbye, Vivie.”

Not trusting herself to look him, she jerked her head. Her pleading thoughts might rush from her, a torrent that would drag them under and carry them nowhere.

He shuffled his feet, hesitating before he walked slowly to the van.

The wheels kicked up dust as he drove off...leaving without her saying goodbye or telling him that she loved him. She jumped to her feet, her instincts telling her to chase after the truck, flag him down, jump in beside him after all. How could she let him go?

But in a moment he’d disappeared down the road. Too late.

Scooter trotted to her side and dropped something at her feet.

Turtle.

A sob tore from her throat followed by another and another.

It was over.

Once again, she’d lost everything.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

L
IAM
DROPPED
HIS
pack and lowered himself to the rocky summit of Factory Hill. A gust whistled around the jagged edges of the peak, flapping his hat brim and ruffling his Windbreaker. He blew out a breath and wiped his brow with a handkerchief. His movements were automatic, thoughtless, his mind farther away than Heart Lake below or distant Mount Sheridan.

Instead of seeing the burned umber spikes of Yellowstone’s Red Mountain range, he pictured the lush Adirondacks, their sides blazing in color, a few barren trees in the mix. Snow might even dust Whiteface’s pinnacle. Weather in upstate New York could be unpredictable in October and caught many campers unprepared. He’d rescued more than a few.

A screech ripped him from his thoughts. An eagle soared overhead, gliding in circles on wind currents before swooping to the valley nine thousand feet below.

He’d thought he could climb far enough to leave his hurt behind. Now, after losing Vivie, he realized he couldn’t outrun pain. It would follow him wherever he traveled. Perched here, on what felt like the top of the world, it echoed through the emptiness that yawned within him.

He unzipped a pocket on his pack and pulled out a bag of trail mix. At the sight of the chocolate chips mingled with the granola, he smiled. Vivie would approve. In fact, she might have demanded more. If only she were here...

Chewing a salty-sweet handful, he leaned back on his elbows and surveyed this part of the park. It was massive. Expansive. Its wilderness extended as far as he could see. No man could feel trapped in a place like this. Yet he didn’t feel comforted. In fact, he felt miserable.

Why had he let himself get attached to Vivie? He’d known the risks. Should have expected the closeness that’d happened once he’d opened up. Talking about Kunar had broken through his walls. Left him vulnerable. He didn’t know how to repair his defenses and stop the longing that dogged him. He missed her with a relentlessness that beat the air back in his lungs.

A scorpion skittered up a rock beyond his hiking boots and he pulled his knees to his chest, watching. Its tail curled over its armored back, ready to sting at first threat. Once, he’d been like that. Impenetrable, ready to keep others from getting close. The animal scurried across the stone, then disappeared. It preferred isolation, as he had before Vivie.

He wished for another meal at the diner with her. A hike together. An afternoon reading on her back porch. Until now, he hadn’t realized how much he’d grown used to having her in his life. Her absence felt like an amputation. A missing limb that he sensed but could no longer see.

His eyes scanned the vast space. He had everything and nothing. At least, not what mattered.

Love.

It’d liberated him. Freed the chains of his past. He saw that now.

Love had no borders or boundaries. It could never tie him down. Why had he been afraid of staying in one spot? As long as he had Vivie, he’d never feel restricted.

Fool.

He’d run across the country only to realize his shackles were still there, fear holding him hostage. He had to get rid of it to truly escape and find his way home.

To Vivie.

Would she forgive him if he returned? Apologized? He pictured Button and he dropped his head into his hands. She might never absolve him of that. Still, he had to try.

He stood and donned his backpack. Luckily he’d gotten an early start. If he hustled, he could make it back to base before sunset.

Time to chase after what he wanted instead of running from what he feared. Once he’d given his notice, he’d call James. They’d been in touch and his colleague had mentioned they’d been using overtime to cover his position. Better let them know he wanted it back before they hired someone. In a couple of weeks he’d catch a flight to New York.

He glanced at the light brown rocks, the color reminding him of Vivie’s amber eyes. If he timed it right, he’d be home to celebrate an important day for her. Would she be glad to see him or push him away?

His feet slid as he hurried down the trail. There was only one way to find out.

* * *

“S
WEETIE
,
WHAT
ARE
you still doing here? I’m glad you brought the pies, but we’ve got enough staff coming in for the first shift. No need to stay.”

Vivie stopped stuffing napkins in a holder and turned. “I’m helping.”

Maggie grabbed the overloaded dispenser and frowned. “You need more care than the diner. Have you seen yourself lately?”

Vivie caught her distorted reflection in the chrome side of the napkin holder. Her hair looked flat on one side, tangled on the other, her eyes sunken and dark.

“I don’t care about that.”

“I do. You’ve been miserable for weeks.” Maggie steered her into the kitchen and held both her hands. “I’m sorry about what happened with Button. I know you miss her, but will any of this bring her back?”

Or Liam?
Vivie added silently, before pushing the traitorous thought away. She wouldn’t wish for his return. Freedom mattered most to him. He probably had exactly the life he wanted—unencumbered and without expectations. She’d been naive to think she could make him feel differently. Want other things...need her.

Rowdy backed in through the screen door holding a tray of tomatoes. Brett followed, bags of produce slipping in his grasp.

“These are the last from my garden. Frost will kill the rest tonight most likely.”

The container thumped to the counter and Brett dumped his vegetables into bins. “You okay, Vivie?”

“Of course she isn’t,” grouched Rowdy. His knife whizzed through the tomatoes, dicing them in seconds. “Lost her bear and her fellow.”

Brett shrugged and sniffed an onion. “Maybe it was meant—”

“Shut it!” Vivie clamped a hand over her mouth, as shocked by her outburst as her wide-eyed staff and partner. “I’m sorry, Brett,” she called and fled back into the restaurant’s empty seating area, Maggie on her heels.

“Go home, Vivie. Or better yet, don’t. Go somewhere different. Get out. You’ve been holed up for too long.”

Vivie shook her head. “What’s the point? I have no one to go with me. No one I love.”

Maggie hugged her. “I love you and if I didn’t need to be here, I’d take you dancing in Montreal or for a bobsled ride on Mount Van Hoevenberg. But in the meantime, there is someone who’ll be with you that you love...or should... Yourself.”

Realization jittered through her. For so long she’d been closed off. Had she shut herself out, too? She loved her animals and Maggie, and had finally let Liam in, too. But what about her? Didn’t she owe herself that same affection? Believe she was worthy of it? Liam and Button were gone, but so was the old fearful Vivie. In her place was a woman unafraid to face life.

Maggie was right, even if Liam didn’t care about her enough to stay, she should love herself. Needed to crawl out of the hole she’d fallen into when Button and Liam had left. She glanced at the wall calendar and stiffened.

October 15.

“Okay. I’m out of here.” She scooped up her purse and headed for the door. She knew what she had to do.

“Where are you going?” Maggie called.

“Not home,” Vivie assured her, then turned the Closed sign over and strode to her car.

She backed out of the parking lot and turned left, heading for Poke-O-Moonshine’s trailhead. As always, her mind returned to Button and worry gnawed at her. It’d been over a month now. Had she gotten used to being alone? Vivie hadn’t. Scooter and Jinx did their best, cuddling with her on the couch as she watched reality-TV marathons. But it wasn’t the same. They didn’t need her to raise them as Button had. Now the young bear fended for herself in some distant part of the Adirondacks. Was she safe? Lonely? Missing home?

Was there any chance Liam felt the same? Pain squeezed her heart as she remembered his decision to leave. How he’d turned her down when she’d asked him not to go. She loved him so much. Had trusted him with her flayed heart and he’d splintered it all over again.

The sign to the rear trailhead to Poke-O-Moonshine appeared and she pulled into the small parking area. The engine ticked quietly as she stared at the blur of red, yellow and orange beyond her windshield. Squirrels raced across the branches in front of her, acorns bulging their cheeks. They prepared for winter, not sure how harsh it might be. As Liam said, you couldn’t prevent bad things from happening and she was living proof.

Her mind snagged on her last thought. Living. She’d lived through so much. Survived it. As Liam’s brother Connor had said, she’d conquered it. Was there a chance she’d one day be stronger for this loss, too?

She wouldn’t find out by hiding in her home or her car. No. Instead, she’d celebrate her troubles. How she’d come through them. This was a special day. The anniversary of her attack.

Her Alive Day.

She scrambled outside and glanced down at her sneakers. Not as good as hiking boots, but they’d do. The dim forest surrounded her as she plunged onto the trail.

Her feet slipped on the steep angle and she pulled herself up on exposed roots at times. The more roundabout trail that passed along the back of her property was easier, but she didn’t want easy. She needed to push herself, as Maggie said, jump-start her life again.

October 15.

Once this date would have filled her with dread. A time of year she’d want to forget. Now, she would remember it in a different way. Be proud of all that she’d accomplished and overcome.

It wasn’t just the day she’d been raped. Or the moment she’d nearly lost her life.

No. From now on she’d celebrate it as one of the most important times of the year.

Neither Liam nor Button would come home. She needed to make peace with that. Accept her life as it was and find happiness. Liam had coaxed her from her protective shell of an existence and she’d been wrong to slip back, wouldn’t do it again.

In fact, why had she been so determined that Liam needed to stay? Given how far she’d come, she should have taken the next step and traveled with him.

It stung that he cared more about his freedom than staying with her, but if she loved him, shouldn’t she have accepted it? Understood? She should have loved him for who he was, not the person she wanted him to be.

Regret weighed her steps and gradually she slowed, her breathing labored. A flash of black caught her eye at the bottom of a distant ravine and her heart slammed against her chest. Hugging a tree, she leaned over the ledge for a better view. A bear about Button’s size ambled out and she nearly lost her grip.

She opened her mouth to call, exaltation and a profound relief flooding her. Button was back. Had found her. It was a miracle.

Before she could yell, a second young bear emerged. A larger bear followed and the three animals meandered through the clearing far below, sniffing and eating as she watched, stunned. A family. The casual, familiar way they interacted, their halfhearted cuffing and bumping, made it clear. All three stayed close, their affectionate play mesmerizing.

This was what a bear family looked like.

It was exactly what she would have denied Button if she’d kept her in the pen. Her chest squeezed. The group seemed so peaceful. Happy, perhaps. At one with their environment and each other.

Seeing them was the best present she could have gotten on her Alive Day. She’d survived and Button would, too. The bear would one day have cubs of her own. Know the joys of motherhood. Would be a great caregiver because Vivie and Liam had taught her that, as well. Her heart filled and overflowed as she pictured Button and her future offspring.

In a flash she understood what Liam had explained all along. This was Button’s world. Vivie had been wrong to try and keep her from it. Vivie’s reasons had been for her own good rather than Button’s.

She was the thoughtless, heartless one. Not Liam. He’d put Button’s needs first. Had given her the freedom she deserved. Why hadn’t Vivie done the same for Liam?

Tears seeped from beneath her squeezed eyelids. She’d made so many mistakes. Had pushed Liam away when she should have gone with him. Why had she acted so selfishly?

Suddenly, a hand fell on her shoulder, the touch instantly familiar and impossible...

She whirled, lost her footing and was hauled up over the embankment before fear of the long tumble took hold.

“Liam!” Her eyes ran over the tall, handsome man, his face creased in concern. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same.” His hazel eyes scanned her face and body as if searching for injuries. “I was driving to your house and spotted your car. Thought you’d taken this trail.”

“Maggie said I needed to get out.”

He nodded at the steep ravine. “That might have been too far.”

She jerked her head sideways. “Do you see them?”

Liam peered over her shoulder. “See who?”

When she glanced back, her shoulders slumped. “They’re gone. There was a bear family.”

He smiled. “Must be doing some foraging before scouting out a den. Button will be doing that, too.”

Vivie waited for the blow of his words, but found comfort in them instead. “I’m glad.”

His brows lifted, his anxious expression clearing. “You are?”

She nodded, feeling surer by the second. “Seeing the bears together made me want that for Button. You were right about setting her free.”

His eyes closed for a moment and when he opened them, his warm expression made her head spin. They held so much affection. Was he thinking of Button or her?

“I shouldn’t have tried holding you back, either,” she added. “I’m sorry I didn’t go with you to Yellowstone.”

“I’m not.” His quiet words shocked her into silence.

His fingers laced with hers and he pulled her close. “If you’d come, I wouldn’t have learned that I needed to stop running.”

Excitement swam through her bloodstream. “Are you moving back here?”

“If you’ll have me. Wherever you are, that’s home. I don’t need freedom. I need you.”

She threw her arms around him. “I’ll always want you and if you try to leave, I’m coming with you. Guess you’re stuck with me.”