Authors: Barbara White Daille
“Then why didn’t you say that to him?”
He shrugged.
The light in her eyes dimmed as quickly as if he’d thrown a switch. “You mean you think
I’m
not ready.” She shook her head. “I should have known when you assumed you’d do the presentation. You still don’t think I can handle my job, do you?”
Damn.
A need to touch her had him shoving his hands into his back pockets. At the same time, he had to clamp his jaws together to keep from saying something he would regret.
The dullness of her expression told him he didn’t need to answer. She had read his face and already knew how he felt. He wanted to deny what she’d said but didn’t have it in him. He wanted to lean down for a kiss, but he couldn’t do that, either.
Most of all, more than ever, he wanted to head back home.
Chapter Thirteen
Ryan settled back against an outcropping and watched the sun start its climb over the ranch house. The reddening sky just about matched his mood. The pair of hawks circling overhead didn’t help it any, either.
In the days since their supper at the Double S, Caleb hadn’t said a word about sending him to Montana. He also hadn’t demoted him.
And things hadn’t gotten any better between him and Lianne.
He rested his head back against the rock. Tossing and turning throughout the night had left him with a crick in his neck he couldn’t seem to loosen. Or maybe the stiffness had started working at him before then, the result of spending too much time around her with his hands firmly by his sides and his jaw clenched to keep from saying a whole list of things he shouldn’t.
His nightmares had been pushed aside to be replaced by dreams of her. For that alone he ought to give thanks. But bad as his nights had been for months, the dreams sure as hell didn’t make life any easier. Especially when, as this morning, he woke with the feeling he could give new meaning to the term
sexually frustrated.
In desperation, he’d left the main house earlier than usual and headed out on the stallion, not even stopping at the bunkhouse. Not wanting to face Tony, who had picked just this time to go quiet on him, too.
He’d hoped a long solitary hike would clear his mind. And still his thoughts turned to Lianne.
Here on the western border of the ranch, where the hiking trail cut through the pinons and pines, everything reminded him of her. Next to him the sun-dappled stream she’d knelt beside to splash water on her face. Across from him the concrete picnic bench where he’d first kissed her. Even a look down at the sea of wildflowers and underbrush hugging the base of the mountain called to mind her bright-colored skirt flipping around her knees.
A few hundred yards beyond where he sat was the clearing she’d told him about, reached by a bridge high above the stream. He’d walked up there to take a look but didn’t cross to the opposite bank. That was her quiet, beautiful place, her shrine.
Not his.
Lately they hadn’t shared much of anything.
And yet, whether on foot or on horseback, it was always the same. He couldn’t keep from making the familiar trek to the ranch house. Still her boss, he made a point of checking in with her regularly.
Man up and tell the truth.
He made multiple trips to her office every day.
He didn’t want to think about which of those visits tied in to his responsibilities as ranch manager and which were solely an excuse to see her again.
At each meeting, he could feel her reluctance to give him updates. With summer upon them and the crew taking vacation time, the construction had slowed down. She wouldn’t tell him that, but he could see the rate of progress for himself.
He could see the evidence of her progress, too. She’d begun focusing on outfitting the main building, including stocking the mess hall from dishes to nonperishable food. She claimed her job description covered everything.
What she didn’t own up to was the balance she seemed to have established for their meetings, with business on one side of the scale and all else on the other. Whenever the talk started to drift over to anything other than work, she’d back off.
Well, he could understand that. He had plenty of history he didn’t want to discuss, either. But he had trouble keeping his balance with those scales of hers.
Hell, he couldn’t find his balance around her at all.
He wanted to resolve their conflicts to make their business relationship less rocky, but she just turned her head away whenever she wanted to tune him out.
He wanted her in his bed, but that sure wasn’t happening, either.
Yet, the higher his frustration climbed and the longer he was denied satisfaction on either count, the less sure he became about which priority topped his list. About which
want
weighed more heavily on
his
scale.
Overhead, those hawks circled lazily, their effortless glide only making his own turmoil more evident by comparison.
* * *
“
T
ROUBLE
IN
PARADISE
.” Ellamae made the flat statement, not expecting—and being darned if she’d accept—any argument from her sister.
“It did seem like Lianne and Ryan weren’t altogether happy when we left,” Roselynn said with some reluctance. She kept her eyes on the dough she was working on the counter. The Whistlestop had a few guests staying for the weekend, and she was going to town making all sorts of breakfast goodies.
“
Seem like? Ha.
The trouble between these two is clearer than Sidewinder Creek after the spring rains.”
She couldn’t understand folks sometimes. It had been nearly two weeks since their dinner at the Double S. Two long weeks, with Roselynn going around the kitchen in a huff and Tess giving her long, unfathomable looks and even the judge glowering at her in chambers. Ellamae had been fit to be tied—although that phrase didn’t much apply to her.
No one could tie
her
down. Or tell her what to do. She would put her plan into action—when it was time.
Roselynn was the only holdout. Shoving aside a mixing bowl and two spatulas, she looked her sister in the eye. “Why are you dragging your heels over this, Rose? You saw those two on the dance floor. Don’t tell me you didn’t see sparks from
both
of them, now.”
“I know, but…I just don’t think we ought to get involved. Caleb won’t like it.”
“He’ll like it a lot less if he loses a good foreman.” She took another scone from the cooling rack and bit into it.
“I’m sure he’s handling things.”
“
Ha
again. Did you ever know a man who could handle getting two people together when they think they want to stay apart?”
“This is different. Ryan’s already been through so much—”
“And it’s only going to get worse without a little outside assistance at the appropriate moment.” She turned her head to listen to the footsteps coming from the direction of the dining room. “Tess is on the way.” She took another scone and retreated to her chair at the kitchen table.
Tess took a mug from the cabinet and a tea bag from the tin. “Aunt El, you’ve got that cat-who-swallowed-the-canary look.”
“Not even close.” She raised her plate. “I’m eating scones.”
“Uh-huh.” Tess swiped one herself and sat at the table. “So, what are you up to?”
“Nothing.”
“Why don’t I believe you?”
“‘Cause your mama raised you wrong.”
“El!”
Roselynn protested.
The kettle whistled. Tess went to get it and filled her mug. “You’re up to something.” She stood holding the pot over Ellamae’s mug. “Hot water?”
Darn the girl.
“Not if I can stay out of it.” But she pointed to the mug, and Tess tilted the kettle. “I’ve a funny feeling you could be helpful.”
“I’ve just poured your tea, haven’t I? And—” Tess paused and eyed her “—I’ve just been to visit Kayla. Lianne was there, too.”
“Is that so.” She looked thoughtfully at her niece. “How are the girls doing?”
“Kayla’s fine but restless. Lianne seemed quieter than she usually is. We’re both concerned about her.”
Ellamae tried not to smile into her tea. It was time.
“Poor thing,” Roselynn said. “She’s got a lot on her plate with that school going up.”
“Yes, and with the scouts coming in just a couple of days.” Tess stared at the steam rising from her mug. “When I left Kayla’s, Lianne had just mentioned bringing Becky and P.J. into town for ice cream, then taking them to the playground.”
“Had she? I might just walk on over there.”
“Good idea, Aunt El. I’m sure you’ll be very helpful.”
“As always.” She winked. “You’re not so bad at that yourself.”
Over the rim of her mug, Tess smiled.
* * *
L
IANNE
KEPT
HER
gaze from drifting a few dozen yards away to the Flagman’s Folly Community Center, but she had no control over her thoughts. They drifted to what had happened inside that building. She couldn’t help but wish she and Ryan had gone to the party solely for the pleasure of each other’s company. Strictly to get to know each other, as he had suggested.
She couldn’t help but wish the evening hadn’t turned out the way it had—after she’d gotten the texts from her family and had found him downstairs in the kitchen eating pie.
She crossed her arms on the picnic bench where Becky and P.J. sat enjoying their ice cream. Becky waved to get her attention and then pointed toward the street. Ellamae was making her way to them across the playground.
Ellamae took a seat on the bench across from her. She gave Becky a quick hug, high-fived P.J. and turned back again. “How are things going out at the ranch? You all ready for the scouts yet?”
“Yes. I finished up yesterday.” She had worked hard to have everything ready for Monday. To show Ryan just what she could accomplish. Getting the cabins stocked for their arrival had kept her busier than ever, a much-needed distraction to keep her from dwelling on Ryan.
The visit with Kayla and the trip here with the kids this afternoon had been a diversion, too. And now here was Ellamae.
Lianne hadn’t seen her since the dinner at the Double S. She had gotten off easy that night, with Caleb’s family all around. She had managed to escape the inquisition at Kayla’s the morning after the party, too. When Ellamae had shown up with Nate, who’d immediately wanted to join Becky and P.J. for the overnight, Lianne had eagerly taken off with all three kids.
Another thing she couldn’t help but wish—that bringing the kids to the house for the sleepover had had a happier ending, too.
“Today was my treat to myself,” she said to Ellamae. “I couldn’t think of a better way to spend it than with the kids.”
Liar.
She could think of another enjoyable way to spend the day. He just wasn’t an option for her.
Ellamae nodded as if she had read her thoughts. “Yeah. I’m taking a rare Saturday off, myself. But I wanted to let you know, I got the school on the agenda for the next meeting at Town Hall. A week from Monday.”
“That’s great. Your magic worked.”
“Always does.”
Lianne laughed. The town council meeting didn’t worry her. She already knew almost everyone in town. She would manage the presentation without a problem. And that night outside the Double S, she had made it clear to Ryan
she
would be the one to handle it.
Finished with their ice cream, Becky and P.J. wiped their hands and tossed the napkins in the trash. They ran to the swings on the other side of the playground.
“Those kids have a lot of energy, don’t they?” Ellamae said.
She nodded.
“Tess said she saw Kayla, and she’s having trouble reining in her energy, too.”
“But she knows what she has to do for the baby’s sake.”
“Of course.” Ellamae rested her crossed arms on the table. “With her expecting, I’d guess babies are on everyone’s mind.”
“Yes.”
“Have you thought about having kids of your own, Lianne? Someday, I mean. When you find the right guy, that is.”
Slim chance of that happening, either, considering her luck with both the man she had left behind in Chicago and the one she now lived with—temporarily. She felt herself flush. Ellamae’s narrowed eyes told her she had noticed it, too. She shrugged. “I’d like to have children. Someday. But it would definitely have to be the right guy.”
Chances were high her children would be deaf, too. Any man she married would have to be willing to accept the odds. Ryan…
Ryan.
She held back a sigh.
What were the chances he would ever accept a deaf child of his own?
And why was she wasting time thinking about it? Thanks to his unwillingness to trust in her abilities, they would never have a future together.
“I imagine you’d want to think about having those babies soon,” Ellamae said. “Especially if you plan to catch up to Kayla. She’s already two ahead of you.”
She forced a laugh. “No contest. Kayla will always be ahead of me.”
“Well, I hope you find that guy and have that family soon. Kids bring a lot of joy into life.” Ellamae shook her head. “I can’t imagine ever losing a child, the way Ryan did.”
Her breath caught.
“Ryan?”
How awful. She hadn’t known he’d been a father. Or that he’d ever been married.
“He hasn’t mentioned anything?” Ellamae asked, as if she had read her mind again. “I probably shouldn’t have slipped and told you.” She shook her head. “I really feel for that boy, with what he went through.”
No,
he hadn’t mentioned anything. Not even the night they had almost made love. He wouldn’t have done that if he were still married. He wouldn’t have let her take him to her bedroom.
She didn’t want to sit on a playground bench and exchange gossip. But if she asked him about his child…if she asked about anything now…would he tell her? Again, what were the chances?
Everything seemed to come down to chance.
“What happened, Ellamae?”
“It was a car accident. His wife was driving. She had their boy with her. He was four then. Would’ve been five now. Just like P.J.”