Random Chance and the Paradise that is Earth (13 page)

“She is doing quite well,” answered Lyle.
“She is in remarkably good health. There have been no problems with
the integration. Please open your palm. I have your tablet.”

This Random did. A silver metal snake
emerged from the panel and deposited a green oval tablet on his
palm before disappearing.

“There is water in the kitchen. Or, if you
would like, I can provide a small cup for you right now.”

“I’ll go to the kitchen,” he said, standing.
“Thank you, Lyle.”

~~*~~

After taking the tablet, he
went back to
The
Pompatus
. He heated up a breakfast burrito,
wolfed it down in four bites, then sloped off to his bedroom,
flopping down on his bed after using the bathroom. He fell asleep
almost immediately.

It was half past nine when he woke. He
blinked open bleary eyes and stared at the ceiling until it came
into focus.

“Hewey? Cubey? What’s the news on Mia?”

“She’s up and sparky, amigo,” answered
Hewey. “We’ve been talkin’ all mornin’. It’s an amazin’ thing bein’
in her head.”

Random smiled. “Cubey?”

“Friend Mia Findlay has been helping me
learn the vagaries of human cooking. She is quite inventive with
avian birth ovals and pressed curds of mammalian breast fluid!”

It took a moment for Random to translate
that. Hewey chuckled. “Well, I guess you could call it that.
Doesn’t sound too appetizin’, does it?”

“Ah,” said Cubey. “Friend Mia just informed
me: ‘eggs and cheese.’ Updating files. She also told me to tell you
to ‘get your cute butt in here and get some food.’ ”

Random’s tummy growled. He got
up, fighting lightheadedness, and hurriedly dressed. “How is
The Girl
’s mainframe?” he
asked as he pulled his jeans on.

“It is quite lovely,” said Cubey. “We have
fashioned our new home in the image of the Annie Laril Bed and
Breakfast, with a few minor alterations.”

“I wish I could see it,” said Random. He
wasn’t just being polite; he was fascinated.

“Me and Cube Dog have been discussin’ just
that,” said Hewey. “We think it might be possible if you use the
port you use to talk to your dad. We’re puttin’ together a program
right now. Cubey’s been runnin’ preliminaries about an hour now,
right?”

“Fifty-six minutes,” said Cubey.

Random was touched. “That’s great! When can
I plug in?”

“At this juncture the program isn’t to be
trusted,” said Cubey. “I will let you know when I feel all safety
parameters are set and have proved themselves to my satisfaction. I
do not have a timetable yet.”

“It was your angel’s idea,” said Hewey. “She
was talkin’ to us as she checked on the mainframe and said she’d
like to meet us in our new place. We thought that idea was aces and
started workin’ on the program right away. Her new console is
perfect for it.”

“There would be other benefits as well,”
said Cubey.

“Such as?” said Random. He’d brushed his
hair and was making his way to the airlock.

“Such as we’ll get back to you,” said Hewey
with an edge in his voice.

“Ah. Yes. Forgive me,” offered Cubey.
“Friend Hewey has informed me that I should not make promises that
I may not be able to keep, even if the probability is high that I
can keep them.”

As the airlock cycled, Random said, “So
you’re gonna keep me in suspense?”

“That’s what we’re gonna do, partner,” said
Hewey. “You smellin’ those eggs yet?”

The airlock opened, and indeed Random could
smell breakfast coming from the kitchen. He came to the corner and
peeked around. Mia was waiting for him, her hands on her hips and a
big smile on her face.

He approached her and took her into his arms
and kissed her.

“Interesting,” said Cubey. “Friend Mia seems
to employ a slightly different technique with her tongue than does
friend Random.”

Both Mia and Random heard that, and parted.
She looked slightly shocked, but was still smiling.

Random sighed. “Hewey, I’m giving you
another assignment right now.”

“No need to tell me what it is,” said Hewey.
“Why don’t we leave you two lovebirds alone while I get on it?”

“I would like to participate,” said Cubey.
“I enjoy being helpful.”

“Oh, you’re gonna participate,” said Hewey.
“C’mon, Cubetastic. Let’s go and sit in our living room and have a
talk.”

Random heard the privacy function enable. He
saw that Mia heard it too.

He pulled her close and kissed her
again.

“My, my,” she said, pulling back. “When I
said breakfast was ready, I didn’t mean me!”

He grinned. “I didn’t know you had said
breakfast was ready.”

“I told Hewey to tell you that,” she said,
looking disappointed.

“Oh, he did,” replied Random. “He just did
it in his own Hewey fashion.”

He studied her. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I had a really nice night of sleep and
when I woke up I had two friendly male voices in my head.” She
glanced at the plates full of food. “Let’s eat. I’m starving.”

They sat and dug in.

“It’s weird,” said Mia after swallowing some
eggs. “They sound totally different than what I expected. Hewey
sounds like a nice cowboy, and Cubey sounds …” She shrugged.

“He was—he is—an automated prison
interrogator,” said Random.

“I know, I know. I expected him to have a
harsh edge to his voice like a lawyer or my uncle Earl. But he
sounds like …”

“Like a very friendly customer service
agent,” said Random.

“Right! Right!” laughed Mia. She took a sip
of coffee. “It’s strange, though, when you think of it.”

“What is?”

“They both have a personality. I don’t get
how that’s possible. I mean, how is it that Hewey sounds like a
friendly cowboy but Cubey doesn’t?”

“Cubey’s personality was programmed into
him. It’s not his, strictly speaking. It was given to him.”

“And Hewey?”

Random smiled wonderingly and shook his
head. “That’s a very good question.”

“Did he always sound like that?”

“Like a ‘friendly cowboy,’ as you put
it?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” said Random, sitting back and
thinking.

“But
why?
” she asked. “Why that? Why not
sound like Cubey or any of a zillion other personality types? Why
that? And why his particular voice—that soft, kind of gravelly
baritone? Haven’t you ever thought of it before?”

He considered. “Sure. But … hmm. I think
what I did was simply discount it as how I interpreted his
voice.”

“Why would you do that?”

“When I was a kid I read a lot of westerns.
When Hewey was ‘born’ I thought he sounded in my head just like I
fantasized one of my favorite heroes sounded like.”

“Is that where his name comes from?”

Random nodded thoughtfully.
“Paul Hewson, gunslinger. From
The
Rapscallion of the Rogue River
series.”

“How is it that a Old West hero—a fictional
one—that you loved as a kid and fantasized that he sounded a
certain way sounds the same way to me as he does to you?”

Random had forgotten about his
eggs. “That’s … a
very
good question.”

~~*~~

It wasn’t one he got to contemplate for
long.

“Amigo,” said Hewey, interrupting him and
Mia as they cleaned the dishes and refilled their coffee mugs,
“we’ve got trouble.”

“What’s up?” said Random. He glanced at Mia,
whose face also reflected sudden concern. Hewey must’ve been
speaking to them both.

“A warrant for your arrest has just come
down the pipe on the SolarWeb. Cubey intercepted it at Phobos.
They’ve sent alerts to Ceres and Vesta police. Our flight plan will
lead them right to this rock.”

Random tried to think in the heavy silence
that followed. He couldn’t. “I need to go.”

Mia seemed too shocked to move.

He looked away from her. “Hewey: any sign of
cops coming up the shaft?”

“No obvious signs, no,” said Hewey. “We best
be makin’ an escape, amigo. I’m lookin’ at the warrant right now.
It’s Oligarchy Military. If they catch you …”

“Fire up
The Pompatus
.”

“I’m on it.”

He gazed back at Mia, whose face was blank.
“They don’t know about you,” he said. “You’ll be safe.”

“I am running a search for all possible
connections between you, Random Chance, and you, Mia Findlay,” said
Cubey. “I believe it will be possible to delete them if they exist.
In any event, it would be prudent of you, friend Random, to prepare
for takeoff.”

“Wait!” yelled Mia. Tony had just walked
into the kitchen; Chandra and Sileen had gone to Vesta City for
several days. He glanced at them. “What’s going on?”

Random grabbed her hands, which had gone
cold. “They’ll keep you safe,” he said. “Tony, Chandra, Sileen—and
Hewey and Cubey.”

“I want to come with you!” she cried.
“Please!”

“Probable outcomes of this new
development strongly suggest that you, Mia Findlay, should remain
with
The Glowing Girl
,” said Cubey. “If I can delete all possible connections
between you, those outcomes will be even stronger.”

“Don’t bet against the house, angel,” said
Hewey. “Cubey is right.”

Mia sighed heavily and slumped
against him. “Damnit!” she muttered.
“Damnit!”

“They’ll keep you safe,” said Random,
kissing the top of her head. “Cubey?”

“Yes, friend Random?”

“The Oligarchy is all about law and order.
We may need Ralos Ytilitu sooner than later.”

“I have learned the entirety of the
Oligarchy’s legal code,” said Cubey. “Ralos Ytilitu is, as it is
said, ‘on retainer’ to Mia Findlay.”

“The Pompatus
is warmin’ up,” said Hewey. “What’s our course and
heading?”

But Random didn’t know. He was about to say,
“Deep space, anywhere,” when Mia spoke up.

“Earth!” she said. “Random, Earth! Marc
Centurion! Go to him! The Oligarchy won’t come after you there!
Marc Centurion!”

“I haven’t heard from him in a while. He may
not even be there. Hewey: is my passport up to date?”

“It is,” said Hewey. “I think it’s a good
idea. I’ll find out where the Roman is.”

“I can assist,” said Cubey.

“I’ll be over in a sec’,” said Random. “I
need to grab my things.”

“Best hurry, amigo,” said Hewey.

“Once again I am in full agreement,” said
Cubey.

~~*~~

At the airlock, stuffed pack slung over his
shoulder, he held Mia one more time. She pushed her face into his
shoulder and mumbled cursewords.

“Looks like Uncle Bartlett is really
pissed,” he murmured. “He probably got the civilian government to
issue the warrant. I wouldn’t doubt if his name is at the bottom of
it.”

“When will I see you again?” she sighed into
his chest, her voice muffled.

He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

He lifted her chin and kissed her. Her cheek
was wet with tears.

“I’ll send a wave as soon as I’m coasting,”
he said. “I promise.”

They kissed again.

He pulled away and stepped into the airlock.
The big door rumbled closed and the air began cycling.

~~*~~

The Pompatus of Love
drifted away from
The
Glowing Girl
and slowly began rising up the
shaft. The old cargo ship descended slowly in the forward
viewshield and was out of sight. Half an hour later the brilliant
spike of the sun illuminated his face. Polarizers caught it an
instant later and the glare subsided. He turned
The Pompatus
about and the vast,
starry blackness of space greeted him.

“Earth, course heading set,” said Cubey.
“Advise one-eighth secondary thrusters until control gives us
permission to engage the primaries.”

“Good idea,” said Hewey. “Nothin’ that’ll
alert them that we’re tryin’ to get the hell outta Dodge.”

“How is she doing?” asked Random.

“Not too good,” said Hewey. “She’s in the
CCR. I don’t know why.”

“Talk to her,” said Random. “Let her know
she’ll be all right, that I’ll be all right.”

“We do not know that to be the case,
however, friend Random,” cautioned Cubey. “If indeed this warrant
is legitimate—and it appears it is—there is no guarantee that
however successful I may be at deleting any connections between you
two, those connections are not already known and civilian or
military authorities are not already on the way to interview or
arrest her. As for you …”

“I hate to say so, Rand, but Cubey’s right,”
interrupted Hewey.

“That’s why I wanted you two to be with her
at all times. You two are going to be her guardian angels. Do you
understand me?” he yelled, scared and angry.

“I do, Random Chance,” said Cubey. “I
promise to do everything in my power to keep her safe.”

“You can count on me,” said Hewey. “That
angel has her own guardian angels. We won’t let you down.”

“Vesta just gave us the go-ahead to fire ‘em
up,” said Hewey.

“Full throttle is advised at this point,”
said Cubey. “Let us, as friend Hewey says, get the holy hell out of
here.”

“Full throttle,” said Random. “Earth, here
we come. What’s the earliest we can expect word back from the
Roman?”

“Vesta is currently twenty-two light-minutes
away,” said Hewey. “Say, an hour? I shot a standard greeting with a
request for a reply with a postscript that you needed to speak ASAP
and that it was very important. I thought of encrypting it, but
decided against it. We don’t know if he has the software to decode
it. It’s a risk, but hey …”

“Good enough,” said Random.