Ravage Me (13 page)

“You gonna tell me your real name?” I asked him, running my fingers up and down his washboard abs to chest and back again.

“Cruz,” he answered lying there with is arm resting over his eyes.

“Okay, Cruz what?”

Removing his arm, he looked down at me. “Donavan Cruz, but no one calls me that except for the cops. I love to ride, so Cruz stuck.”

“Donavan, huh? I’m gonna start calling you that.”

“Bull-fucking-shit you are. It’s Cruz. That’s it. Got it?” I nodded, hiding my smile. Since I grew up in the club, I never called any of the brothers by their real name. My brother G.T. has been called that since he was a baby. No one ever uses his real name, except when I’m really pissed. I might throw it out there a couple of times to get under his skin. It’s the same as my name. No one calls me Harlow around here, even though I think it’s a pretty kick ass name. I’m always Princess.

“Got it. How about Stud? Can I call you that?” I smirked, looking up into his blue eyes that engulf me every time; my head rested on his chest.

“Babe, you can call me that whenever you damn well want.” I smiled, climbing up to him, kissing him on the lips.

Yawning, I mumbled, “I’m beat.” I curled up alongside Cruz as he absently began rubbing circles on my shoulder as I drifted off to sleep.

No… I don’t want to… it hurts. I wanted to whine, but I knew better. It wouldn’t help what was about to happen. ‘Shut the fuck up. You want this you dirty little whore.’ He pushed my stomach down onto the hard bed as my arms tried to pull myself up; he pushed harder, his fat beer belly pushing the small of my back. ‘I know you need what I’ve got. Lay there and take it… or fight. I don’t give a shit which you choose.’ Everything in me wanted to fight, wanted to put this asshole on his ass, but I knew I couldn’t do it. I knew I needed what he had for me. I had to do it for the brothers. As he tore into me, I cringed from the pain, biting down on my lip so hard I tasted blood. He was never gentle, but he always brought lube. I think it was more for him than for me. ‘You fucking little whore. Doing this for daddy, huh?’ Every time he came to me, he repeated those same fucking words. And the sad thing was they were true. My body was on fire as each time he thrust into me; it would tear me more and more… I couldn’t breathe… I was suffocating…

“Princess!” My name being called startled me awake. As I turned to the voice, Cruz was sitting up on the bed towering over me as if he’d been working really hard at something. “Are you okay?”

I rubbed my eyes trying to wake myself up. “Yeah. Why?”

He rubbed his hands over my face. I could feel the sweat as he glided his fingers across. Fuck. The dream. Everything came flooding back, but there was no way in hell I was talking to Cruz about it. Not for a single fucking second. “Really. I’m okay.”

“You were mumbling and thrashing your arms around. It didn’t feel like nothing.”

“Really. I’m good. I just need sleep.” I didn’t know how, but by pure luck he let it go, wrapping me in his arms and kissing the top of my head. “I’m just really tired.”

“You will tell me what that shit was about.” His voice was firm and absolute, but I wouldn’t be telling him. Ever.

“Cooper!” I called looking for the little guy. One thing I would fully admit was that little man warms my heart in ways I never thought possible. The more time I spent with him, the more I
wanted
to spend time with him.

“Pin… ess!” I hear before I saw him as he barreled down the hall, Ma following close behind.

“Hey, Buddy.” Picking him up, I squeezed him in my arms. “You ready to go outside?”

“Yes!” He jumped in my arms excitedly.

“Hey Ma, he okay for ya?” When I needed to go to X, Ma would watch Cooper when Cruz couldn’t, and lately, that’s been quite a bit, club business and all. Ma’s been a life-saver. I admit, becoming an instant caretaker, has been a bit of a challenge. But it’s one that I actually didn’t mind.

“Yeah. I gotta get back to the shop.” Her brilliant smile appeared as she took off out the clubhouse doors.

“Thanks…” Squeezing Cooper, we went outside to enjoy the day. The guys built this whole playground contraption that would make old Ronald blush. It had slides, swings, monkey bars, a small clubhouse, teeter totter, rock climbing wall, tire swing, and so much more. It also had a huge sandbox with lots of big trucks and toy motorcycles, of course. This was Cooper’s favorite place, and who could blame him, it was a toddler’s dream.

“Pin… ess, come get me!” Cooper yelled as he took off running. He loved playing chase, and I found I did, too. I loved catching him, twirling him in the air, and hearing that wonderful laugh of his.

Cooper took off around the playground. “Shit!” My foot stumbled on one of the trucks I didn’t see laying out, and I fell hard to the ground knocking my leg with a thump. Shooting pains raced up my leg quickly as the blood began flowing. The shorts I was wearing left no protection, but I could handle the pain. It was the blood I was gonna need to get cleaned up and make sure the cut was okay.

“Pin… ess!” Cooper screamed and started crying hysterically at the sight of my leg.

Wrapping my arms quickly around him, I began rocking him back and forth, his head buried in my chest. “I’m okay, Buddy. It’s just a little blood. No biggie…”

“Hurt… owie,” his muffled cries said in my shirt as my hands rubbed his back.

“Just a little owie, it’s okay.” I rubbed his back gently and kissed him on the top of his head. I surprised myself after I did it but quickly smiled.

Boot steps running our way had my eyes peering up into Rocky’s. I still felt on edge with him, but since talking with Cruz it has lessened quite a bit. “Stay,” was all he said as he looked at my leg and ran off. When he came back, he was holding a first aid kit and began doctoring me up without saying a word.

“Do I need stitches?” I asked with Cooper still clinging to me.

“Nah…” He reached into the kit to grab the liquid stitch; that stuff’s like superglue and burns like shit going on. As he continued working on my leg, Cooper calmed down enough to begin watching what he was doing. He even smiled when Rocky put a Superman Band-Aid over the cut.

“Now I look like you,” I teased Cooper, who giggled. “Thanks Rocky.” I smile at him. He’s more than proving my initial reaction wrong each time I’m around him.

Instead of responding, he grunted and took off. He was a man of few words. Kinda weird, but I actually liked that in a twisted sort of way. I mean, hell, a guy who doesn’t give you any shit. What’s not to like, right?

“Harder!” I yelled, feeling the wonderful pain-pleasure mix of Cruz slamming deep inside of me. Ma had Cooper for the day, and we were enjoying every minute of our time together. The guys had a run tomorrow and would be gone for a few days. It’d be our first time away from each other since we met.

Cruz and my need for each other was growing uncontrollably; I never thought I’d get enough of him. More than that, we’ve actually talked more. We went from not knowing a damn thing about each other, except for our lust-filled minds to learning so much in the course of two weeks.

He never mentioned club business, and I respected that. I didn’t need to know anyway as everything was calm on the home front, neither Rabbit nor Babs had made any moves, causing me to relax a bit. The brothers wouldn’t take me off lockdown, though. It was starting to wear on me. There’s only so many times a girl can go to the shooting range or work out before she goes nuts.

Cruz began pounding me with everything he had. He picked me up, flipped me onto my stomach, and pushed my knees up and slammed deep inside of me causing a powerful orgasm. A scream escaped my lips. Cruz stilled behind me as he spilled inside of me. We were still using condoms. I had gotten the shot, but had to wait another week before it was completely effective. We both got tested and, thank God, came up clean.

We collapsed down to the bed, gasping for breath.

“Shit.”

“Yeah… shit, Cruz.”

“When I’m gone, you go nowhere without Buzz, Breaker, Rocky, or Tug. Got me?”

“Yeah, I got ya.” My heart swelled with this man, and I knew I was in deep shit. Falling in love with a brother was never part of my plan, but damn it if it wasn’t happening and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

“You know that you sleeping around on me isn’t gonna work.” My mind spun back to Flash and Dagger’s relationship; they could handle that shit; there’s no way I could. Then it flashed to Cruz’s mom and dad… I couldn’t deal. I could deal with guns, drugs, killing… but my heart wasn’t as strong. I knew that. I’ve also learned over the years that many of the brothers had their road whores, the women who took care of their needs on the road. As most of the runs were consistent, having a road whore in another city happened. I couldn’t deal with that. If I wasn’t woman enough for my man, he didn’t need to be mine.

Cruz turned on his side, resting his head on his hand. “It’s not, huh?”

“Look Cruz, I know how this works. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen the women around when the ol’ ladies are gone. I’m not stupid. The only one I haven’t seen it with is Pops and Ma. I can’t do it. I’m not the woman that can handle my man being with someone else. If that’s the case, then we need to end this. I couldn’t take it.”

Cruz brushed the hair from my face, “I couldn’t either.” He bent down kissing me softly.

The guys have been gone for two days and were expected back tomorrow night. Coop and I have been enjoying each other, and Casey has been around quite a bit. I have to say it’s pretty shocking, considering I haven’t seen her much since I got out. She kept making excuses about what she was doing. It’s nice having her around, but something with her seems a bit off.

Living at the club hasn’t been hard. Coop and I fell into a great routine with Ma watching him while I went to X for a while each day. I listened to Cruz, and took a Prospect with me each time I left the clubhouse, with the strict instructions from him that
they’ll help you with whatever you need.

“Princess, you got a package.” One of the B.Boys called from behind the door.