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Authors: Kate Pearce

Raw Desire (22 page)

BOOK: Raw Desire
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“You want me to suck you again?”
Rob circled his hips against Jackson and heard the hiss of his breath. “How about we take this into the bedroom? You've got condoms and lube, right?”
“What?”
“You don't want me to fuck you?”
Jackson gave a strained laugh. “Hell, I've
always
wanted you to fuck me.”
“Then what's the problem?” Rob nuzzled Jackson's throat. “I want it; you want it—let's do it.”
Rob followed Jackson back into his bedroom and waited as his friend found what they needed. He was hard again, and the thought of having Jackson like this suddenly seemed as natural as having Ally. Why hadn't he understood this before? That the three of them were meant to be together in every way possible.
Jackson glanced up at him, his expression still a mixture of anticipation and fear. “Are you sure, Rob? It's okay if you change your—”
Rob climbed onto the bed and put his hand over Jackson's mouth. “Stop talking and get on your hands and knees.” For a moment, Rob wondered if Jackson would rebel against his less-than-conciliatory tone.
Rob knelt behind Jackson and smoothed his hands over the curve of Jackson's spine, over the indentations of his hard abs and the tight muscles of his ass. He stroked Jackson between the legs from his balls to the pucker of his ass, until Jackson lifted his hips in supplication. Rob took a moment to slide a condom over his erect cock.
“God, Rob.”
Rob lubed up his fingers and slid the first one deep into Jackson's ass. He used his other hand to locate Jackson's dick and lightly stroked the wet tip. “You like that, Jackson? You want more?”
“Yeah.”
Rob smiled as he added another finger, keeping his touch on the crown of Jackson's cock so light that he could almost feel Jackson's frustration. He moved his fingers back and forth, easing his way deeper inside, watching Jackson as carefully as he watched Ally when they fucked. He was in charge of their pleasure, and he'd make damn sure they got what they wanted—when he wanted to give it to them.
“More, Rob.”
“What's the rush, Jackson? Maybe I want to make it last all night. Maybe I'll push my cock deep inside you and just stay put until you are begging me to fuck you.” He added two more fingers and held them still inside Jackson. “Maybe I'll make you come and come until you're screaming for it, and you'll let me take you so fucking hard you'll be sore for weeks.”
Jackson shuddered and arched his back. Rob circled his finger in the wetness pouring out of the slit of Jackson's cock. “You want it hard like that, Jackson? Like Ally does?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah? Is that all you've got for me?” Rob took his hand off Jackson's cock and wrapped it around the base of his own shaft. “How about a please?”
“Rob . . . fuck me—please. I need—”
Rob pulled his fingers out of Jackson's ass and shoved his cock all the way in, making Jackson groan his name. He pulled almost all the way out and then with one thrust of his hips, went deep again. He closed his eyes and pounded into Jackson's ass, fumbling a hand around to Jackson's dick and pumping that in time to his urgent thrusts.
It was amazing. He didn't need to worry about crushing Jackson. His friend was well able to take everything Rob wanted to give him. And he wanted to fuck him hard, to make up for all the wasted years, all the wasted time when they could've been doing this together.
Jackson's come spilled over Rob's fingers and set off an answering spasm in Rob's balls that had him climaxing long and hard. Fireworks dazzled behind his closed eyes, and he slumped over Jackson, bringing his friend down to the bed with him. Rob inhaled the combined scent of satisfied lust, condom, lube, and sweat and smiled against Jackson's shoulder.
After a long time, he licked a slow, wet path along the edge of Jackson's ear. “That was awesome.”
Jackson shivered at his caress. “Yeah.”
“Back to saying nothing, then?” Rob bit down on Jackson's earlobe and eased his cock free of Jackson's tight passage. “Let's get cleaned up.”
They showered together, keeping it short and to the point. Neither of them bothered to dress again. Jackson paused as they reached his bed, and Rob punched him in the arm. “I'm not leaving yet. You might not want to talk, but for once, I do.”
He climbed into the bed next to Jackson and lay on his back, one arm cradling his head.
“What is there to say, Rob? I know you fucked me because you couldn't have Ally.”
Rob sighed. “And I knew you were going to say that. I fucked you because I wanted to. I've always wanted to, but I didn't want to make things even more complicated than they already were.”
Jackson rolled up on one elbow so that Rob could see his face. “What the hell does that mean?”
“Look, that night I found you and Ally together? Things kind of fell into place. First off, I was mad at her but I wasn't really surprised. Then I was mad at you, and that scared me half to death. I kind of knew you wanted her as much as I did, but I didn't know I wanted you.”
“I just thought you were mad for the usual reasons. No one wants his best friend fucking his girl,” Jackson answered him, his voice low and rough in the darkness. “I got involved with Susan for all the
wrong
reasons, and I think she was starting to figure that out. Finding me in bed with Ally made it all too clear for her, and she couldn't take it.”
“She sure was livid.”
Jackson sighed. “That night when she found us together? She was fucking furious with me and determined to move on.” He paused and his voice cracked. “I could never understand why the next thing she did was go jump off a bridge as if I'd destroyed her.”
Rob reached out and put a comforting hand on Jackson's shoulder. “We were all kids. How else were we supposed to handle it? It's easy to look back and say I should have realized that I could have you both, that we could all have each other and just sort it out from there, but none of us were capable of making those kinds of sexual decisions then, were we?”
“No.” Jackson cleared his throat. “It wasn't all Ally's fault, you know.”
“What wasn't?”
“Her ending up in my bed. I took advantage of her.”
“I know you did.” Rob grimaced. “It just took me too damn long to work it out.”
“Ally was all messed up because of something else that happened, Rob. She decided she wasn't good enough for you and that I was her way out. And I didn't try and change her mind. I just took the opportunity and ran with it. I was jealous of your relationship, and I wanted to see what you'd do.”
Jackson shifted restlessly on the sheets. “I'm not proud of myself. I let Ally take all the heat and then ran away myself. What a fucking loser.”
As he thought it through, Rob continued to rub his fingers over Jackson's muscled biceps. He'd always wondered what had driven Ally into Jackson's arms, always feared deep in his heart that his sexual aggression had caused it, that that was why he'd lost his two best friends.
“And I thought it was all about me. I was so sure I was the center of the universe in those days.”
Jackson shrugged. “Don't we all at that age?”
“No, I mean I thought Ally hated me and I didn't know why.”
Jackson stroked Rob's unshaven face. “She didn't hate you. She doesn't hate you. Don't beat yourself up. We were all too busy dealing with our own issues to see the big picture. We were just kids.”
Emotion crashed over Rob, and he turned his face into Jackson's hand and kissed Jackson's palm, heard his friend's soft curse. Very slowly he moved his lips again and sucked Jackson's thumb, felt his own cock jerk in response. “I want to suck your dick.”
Jackson's low laugh warmed him. “You think I'm going to say no?”
Rob took a deep breath. “And then I want you to fuck me.”
Jackson stroked his cheek. “You don't have to do that.”
“Yeah, I do. I want to. If we get Ally back, I want us all on equal footing. We all get to fuck whoever we want.”
“And if we don't get Ally back?”
“Shit, I can't even think about that.”
Jackson hesitated. “
This
can end right now. I'd never stop you from finding another woman.”
“You're a lot more patient than I am.”
“I've had a lot of practice.”
Rob sat up. “I haven't and I want it all, you—Ally, and me together at last.” He leaned into Jackson and found his friend's cock already erect. “Now tell me how you like it.”
20
A
lly ate her way through her bowl of granola and contemplated the day ahead. It was the weekend, so she didn't have to work. Lauren had some other lucky employee who got to work all the busiest shifts. She glanced at the calendar from the local Chinese takeout she'd stuck on her refrigerator. One more week before Nadia might have a job for her. One more week to decide whether she wanted to blow off her job at the diner and tell Lauren what she really thought of her or maybe keep two jobs.
Someone hammered on the back door, and Ally jumped. She put down her spoon and approached the frosted glass with caution. She unlocked the back door and stared at her employer. “What's up, Lauren?”
Lauren swept in through the door, her nose held high, her normally tied-back blond hair around her shoulders.
Ally braced herself. “Look, if you've come to fight with me, I'm not interested, okay?”
Lauren took a seat at the table and drummed her fingernails against the wood. “Do you really think I'd bother to break into your house?”
Ally remained at the back door and held it open. “Lauren, this is a police matter. It's not up to me to speculate about what happened.”
“I asked you a question.”
“And I'm not at work, and you are invading my privacy. So either shut up or leave.”
“Rob said you didn't directly implicate me. He said that a lot of other folks did, though.”
There was a slight tremor in Lauren's voice, which made Ally pause, shut the door, and walk around the table to see Lauren's face. “When did Rob tell you that?”
“Don't pretend you don't know.”
Ally sat down. “Believe it or not, he doesn't tell me everything. What did he do?”
Lauren's eyes flashed. “He freaking interviewed me as if I was a potential suspect!”
“You mean he asked you some questions?”
“Not in a nice brotherly sort of way. In that overbearing, ‘this is official police business' tone, complete with a request for an alibi and all that shit.”
Ally simply stared at Lauren. Rob had done that? She'd doubted he would ever call Lauren on anything. “I suppose he was just doing his job.” Ally realized she was echoing Rob and wanted to smile at her own hypocrisy.
“Do you really think I would do that to you?”
Ally met Lauren's gaze full-on. “Actually, I don't. I know you don't like me, but I reckon if you had gotten in here, you would probably have shot me or something, not just messed up the place.”
Lauren's face crumpled. “When you left, Ally, Rob changed. He became someone I didn't even recognize. So I lost both of you, you see.”
Ally reached for her hand and Lauren let her. “I never meant for that to happen. I thought that if I left, Rob would get over me pretty fast.”
“But he didn't.”
“So he says.” Ally sighed. “I understand why you are angry with me, but I can't make it right for you, Lauren.”
“Rob told me to grow up.”
Ally hoped her surprise didn't show on her face.
“He said that you had dealt with a whole load of shit in your life and had moved on, so why couldn't I?”
“Rob has a terrible habit of telling everyone how to get on with their lives. You don't have to believe him or do what he says.”
“But he made me think. He's never talked to me like that before in my life. He's always tried to protect me, and maybe it's time he stopped.” Lauren squeezed Ally's hand and then got to her feet. “I've got to go. I just wanted to make sure you knew it wasn't me doing all this stuff to you.”
“It's okay. I never thought you'd smash the window of your own diner.”
Lauren looked startled. “Rob thinks that was about you too? Well, if you find out who it was, let me know so I can stick them with the bill.”
Ally swallowed down a laugh as Lauren headed out the back door, her nose still in the air. Well, they hadn't exactly ended up the best of friends, but it still felt as if a bubble had been popped and that Lauren's hostility would lessen as time went on. Ally went back to her granola. She still couldn't believe that Rob had found the nerve to interrogate his own sister. It really did seem as if he could separate his emotions out from his job after all. . . .
Apart from when it came to her, of course. Ally groaned and chewed on her cereal and her thoughts. Okay, so she'd panicked herself into protecting her mother, had assumed that Rob was targeting
only
her mother, and had brought everything between them crashing to a halt.
And why was that? Despite all her efforts, did she still really believe that at her center she was a useless child scrabbling to pretend that all was right with her world, terrified that she'd be taken away from her mother if she let on how bad things really were? Was she still terrified of the feelings Rob stirred in her?
If that was true, she really had learned nothing. Ally jumped up from the table and went to find her cell phone. She punched in Rob's home number and got his voice mail.
“Rob? It's Ally. I'll help you find out how Susan died, okay? Just tell me what you want me to do.”
 
To work off her tension while she waited to hear back from Rob, Ally set to work on the dining room. She stacked the last of the boxes in the garage, polished the furniture, and vacuumed the ratty carpet. By the time she finished, the room looked about a million times better than it had before, and Ally was exhausted.
The sun was low in the sky now, light streaming through the kitchen windows and warming up the countertops. Ally pulled the blinds and made herself a tuna sandwich on rye. She sat at the table and poured herself a big glass of milk. She frowned at the glass. If he turned up, would Rob bring beer?
If he turned up.
Ally got up, put the milk carton away, and rummaged in the cutlery drawer for a pair of scissors. She couldn't find one and yanked the second drawer open. Stuffed into the drawer was one of her mother's black journals. Ally held her breath as she retrieved the book and saw the scissors underneath it.
She vaguely remembered shoving the book into the drawer to avoid one of her visitors seeing it, but she couldn't remember which one. She'd been surprised that anyone had bothered to come and see her. Mrs. Orchard had popped in with brownies, Nadia with freshly ground coffee, and even Mrs. Ford, one of her neighbors, had brought her a casserole.
With shaking hands, Ally returned to her seat and checked the date written on the inside cover of the book. Was this the book she'd thought was missing, and what should she do if it was?
When she realized it was a much later journal, the last one her mother had written, she tried to relax. She'd started reading it a while back and never finished it. Ally found her place and started again, eating her sandwich as she read.
 
I just got back from the specialist's office and it's not good. I have breast cancer. They're going to try all that chemo and stuff on me, but I don't think there's much hope. I could see it in their faces, and I know it in my soul. I can feel it, the cancer, creeping through me. The only thing I'm sorry about is that I can't tell Ally. Nadia says I should call her, but I can't. I don't think all is well with Ally, and I don't want to burden her with all this crap. Why should she have to put up with a dying woman out of duty? I have friends here who will help me through. I have friends. I'd rather Ally kept away.
 
Ally gritted her teeth. Would she have come back? She checked the date on the top of the page. Hell, she'd been in rehab at that time, hardly able to do anything for herself, let alone for anyone else. She swallowed back tears. Dammit, she was not going to cry again.
Unbidden, a memory of going to the zoo with Ruth surfaced. For once, her mother's attention had all been on her. They'd had snow cones, bought food to feed the elephants, and laughed together at the antics of the penguins. On the way back, she'd snuggled up against her mother and fallen asleep, a new cuddly teddy bear clutched to her chest.
When they'd arrived home, the man her mother had kicked out two weeks previously met them at the door, and Ruth had run straight into his arms. Ally had made her own supper and taken herself to bed, knowing even at seven that her mother wouldn't notice her again for days. Eventually she'd stopped hoping that Ruth would notice her at all. . . .
The ring of the front doorbell made her jump and close the book. It was dusk now, and she was reading in the dark, her glass of milk grown warm beside her. She made her way up the hallway and recognized Rob's distinctive shape through the glass. For a moment she paused. Did she want him here? She'd much rather have this conversation over the phone.
She opened the door, and Rob inclined his head. “Hey.”
“Hey, would you like to come in?”
“Sure.”
Ally stood back so that he could precede her into the hall. He was wearing his brown uniform and his cop face, and she couldn't decide if that was good or bad. If he was able to keep things separate, so could she.
“So what can I do for you, Ally?”
She invited him to sit down, but he refused, which meant she had to keep looking up at him. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself.
“As I said in my message, I'm willing to help you catch whoever broke into my house.”
He nodded. “And do you have any further information you'd like to share with us at this point?”
“Are you suggesting I know who it is and just haven't gotten around to mentioning it yet?”
He simply stared at her, his blue eyes devoid of emotion. “Any information would be welcome at this point.”
“I haven't got anything new to tell you, but I did want to offer my services if you need to set a trap for this person.”
“Set yourself up as bait?”
“If that's what it takes.”
Rob regarded her for a long moment. “That's very generous of you. I'll keep it in mind.”
“Okay, then.” Ally tried to keep her voice light. What had she expected? That the moment he saw her, he'd instantly understand that she'd changed her mind and beg her to come back to him? With the history of their relationship, she could hardly expect that. If she wanted him—and even thinking that terrified her—she'd have to do all the work, and she was so scared of being rejected. With a small sigh, she turned back toward the front door. “I'll see you out.”
The kitchen clock chimed nine times just as they reached the front door, and she put her hand on the new latch only to have Rob reach over her head and gently close the door again. She turned to look at him and found herself pressed up against the wall while he thoroughly kissed her.
When he was done, he stepped back and wiped his mouth. “My shift just finished.”
“So you kissed me.”
He rubbed his thumb over her lower lip. “I know how you like me to keep my private and public lives separate.”
“About that . . .”
He pressed his thumb over her lips and shook his head. “Let's not go there, okay? Let's keep this professional.”
“But you just kissed me.”
He raised his eyebrows. “That was an aberration. I won't do it again.”
She bit his thumb and he cursed. “Rob, I'm trying to be brave here and sort things out with you, and you don't want to hear me?”
His gaze softened. “Honey, I could listen to you all night, but I'm serious. Let's sort out these problems one at a time, okay?”
“And if we can't solve them?”
“Ally, I've been a cop for quite a while. In my experience, once someone crazy gets all stirred up over something, they usually can't stop even if they want to. And the more frustrated and angry they get, the harder they'll try to achieve their aim.”
“Which is me leaving town.”
“We don't know that for sure. It might just mean you leaving this house. Whatever secrets it conceals might be better staying hidden.”
“But you just said that the person who started all this won't stop no matter what I do.”
He stared down at her. “It's okay. We'll keep you safe. I can promise you that.”
“But you can't, can you?” Ally whispered. “Because we don't know who this person is or exactly what they want.”
He cupped her jaw. “We'll keep you safe.”
She leaned into his palm like a cat seeking a caress and nuzzled his palm, drawing a rough sound of need from him. But this wouldn't do. She couldn't just give up and expect him to protect her every minute of the day. She was a grown-up. She reluctantly moved away from him and opened the front door.
BOOK: Raw Desire
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