Ray of Light (6 page)

“If you want.”

Her hand on the gate, Regina asked, “Do you think Roman will let me pet it?”

“It's all wet. Do you want to?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, it doesn't hurt to ask if we can,” Amanda said as she smoothed back her hair and shook out her teal dress. “Are you ready to go see them now? Would you rather have a snack first?”

But that was a silly question, of course. Because no sooner had she half offered the invitation than had Regina clicked open the gate and trotted toward Roman, her bright pink dress flying up around her ankles. “Roman! Roman, hi! It's me, Regina!”

Amanda was so shocked, she almost called out to Regina to come right back. But the scene that unfolded before her rendered her almost speechless.

There was her quiet Regina running to Roman, a big, bright smile on her face.

And there was Roman turning to her and greeting her with a broad grin.

And then, to Amanda's surprise, Regina held out her hand for Roman to take. Roman took it easily, then looked for Amanda. When he spied her, that warm gaze was like something out of a silly daydream. It was heated and earnest, sweet and sincere.

All directed at her.

It took everything Amanda had not to sigh. Instead, she forced herself to walk toward Roman and Regina and that rambunctious golden dog as sedately as she could.

After all, it wasn't as if anything could ever happen between the two of them. He was a farmer from Ohio. And she?

She was Wesley's widow.

Chapter Seven

For two days Marie had stewed about her conversation with Lovina. For two days, she'd contemplated keeping quiet. To allow her in-laws to keep the story about Aaron's first wife and son to themselves.

But then she realized that they could never go back to how things used to be. The proverbial cat was out of the bag and it certainly wasn't about to sneak back in.

Which was why she found herself standing outside the barn, working hard to gather her courage before confronting her father-in-law. Even though things were going to be mighty uncomfortable, it was time to really talk.

With a new resolve, she entered the barn, where Aaron was currying Chester.

“I wondered when you were going to come inside,” he said over his shoulder. “What have you been stewing about out there?”

“I wanted to talk to you about your first wife and son.”

After a brief pause, he set down the curry brush and turned to her. “Marie, it's really none of your concern.”

“I think it is. Aaron, I‘ve been a part of this family for over twenty years.”

“Yes, but—”

“Aaron, you foisted this news on my family, then left, like we deserved no explanations.”

“And you think you do deserve one?”

She forced herself to meet his gaze directly.
“Jah
.
”

After guiding Chester back into his stall, he walked over to where she stood and sat down on a hay bale. “What is it you want to know?”

“I just want you to talk to me. Just tell me a little of the story.” She was so tired of the way they'd been communicating lately, as if every little bit of information was something to be stingy with, and whoever revealed the most would be the loser.

His eyes narrowed, then he brushed his hands over his eyes. “I met Laura Beth when I was fourteen. She and her family had recently moved to our church district. Almost immediately, I knew she was the girl for me.” He paused, then finished simply. “We married at eighteen.”

“That was young.”

Something flashed in his eyes. “Perhaps it was. It didn't feel that way at the time, though. You know how it is . . . when you're that age.”

She nodded. “When you're eighteen, you don't feel young. You feel ready for anything.” Smiling slightly, she added, “And now that I'm in my forties? Some days I feel like I don't know anything.”

“The Lord gives us pride instead of experience when we're teenagers.” He met her smile, then looked beyond her, as if he were peering into another time. “A year after Laura Beth and I married, we had Ben. I thought my life was perfect . . . and that it would always be that way.”

“Then they died?”

He nodded. After a pause, he said haltingly, “Laura Beth was driving in the buggy in some sleet. Something happened, no one knows what. Maybe she lost control, maybe the horse got spooked? But she lost control and was hit by an oncoming car.” He swallowed hard. “The doctors said she and Ben died instantly.”

Marie felt tears prick her eyes. It was such a sad story, such a waste. “Aaron, why all the secrecy? It was a heartbreaking accident, for sure, and I would think you would want your new family to honor your past and your first family.”

A muscle jumped in his cheek as he visibly reined in his emotions. “Not everyone thought it was an accident.”

“What do you mean?” She hated to press, but Marie instinctively knew that if she didn't get the full story now, it would be a long time before Aaron would ever talk about Laura Beth and Ben again.

“Some folks thought it was my fault,” he said.

“Yours?”

Abruptly, he stood up, turning his back to her. “Laura Beth was in that buggy because of me. We'd had words. I'd said some foolish things. I . . . I let my temper get the best of me.”

She couldn't imagine such a thing. “Aaron, I've never seen you lose your temper.”

He gazed at her, his expression soft with regret. “I was different back then, Marie. I used to be something of a loose cannon.”

“Who blamed you? Her family?”

“But of course. Her brother promised he'd never forget her death . . . and that he would make sure I never forgot it, either.”

“What did he mean by that?”

He blinked. And just like that, Marie knew their discussion had drawn to a close. He'd told her as much as he wanted to. “I'll see you at supper, Marie. I have a lot to do since Peter and Roman ain't here. You understand, I am sure.”

She nodded as she watched him retreat from the barn, headed toward the fields. Well, she'd gotten the answers to her questions. But instead of relieving her mind, it had only served to spark more questions and worry.

Lost in thought, she walked back to the house, and wondered if she was going to be able to ever let this new development go.

 

The moment Goldie spied the crab in the water, the shelter dog seemed determined to make it her own. Though Roman had tried to warn her about making friends with the creature, the dog refused to heed him.

“Have it your way, Goldie,” he said. “But if your nose gets pinched, don't come crying to me.”

Over and over, she'd spy the small critter, dig furiously for it, then jump away the moment she came face-to-face with an angry claw. She'd look at Roman in wonder, he'd shrug and tell her he told her so . . . then it would begin again.

“Careful, Goldie. That crab ain't going to like you disturbing it for much longer. Pretty soon it'll be the one chasing you!”

As he'd expected, the dog barked, promptly ignored his warning, and pounced.

And this time came out the loser. The crab snapped at her and its swipe stung Goldie's nose. With a yelp, she jumped back and looked at Roman in confusion.

“It's the way of it,
hund
,” he said kindly. “Each of God's creatures has ways of keeping themselves safe. That would be the crab's.”

The shelter dog seemed to take the warning to heart. After a moment, she once again seemed happy to trot by his side.

Until Regina approached.

The minute Goldie saw the little girl scampering toward them, her bright pink dress pulled up to her knees, a bright smile plastered across her face, Goldie seemed mesmerized. Even the sea crab was forgotten.

“She's had the same effect on me, pup,” Roman murmured. “But of course, it's her mother who makes me stop and stare even when I shouldn't. She's a pretty thing, for sure. Ain't so?”

“Roman, Roman it's me, Regina!”

“I would know you anywhere, silly,” he said as he greeted her. “What brings you out to the beach?”

“Mamm and I were watching you and your
hund
. She's pretty.”

Roman looked at Goldie again. The dog was wet and scruffy and covered with a good coating of sand and salt water. “She's a mess, that's what she is.” After making sure Goldie wasn't about to jump or be too rough, he motioned Regina closer. “Want to say hello to her? Her name is Goldie.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Come on then.” Carefully, he showed Regina how to let the dog smell her hand. After a few exploratory sniffs, Goldie was ready to play. She nudged Regina's hand. With a smile, Regina petted the dog.

He'd just showed Regina Goldie's dog tag when Amanda caught up. “Did you get yourself a dog, Roman?” she asked.

“
Nee
. Just borrowing one. I discovered that there's an animal shelter here that will let you take walks with the dogs for a few hours at a time. I decided to take them up on the offer.”

“I've lived here all my life and never knew there was such a thing.”

“Perhaps you weren't missing your own animals like I was,” he said easily. Plus he had to admit to having a soft spot for an animal with no home. Every creature needed a place to live, he thought.

Amanda bent down and scratched Goldie between her ears. Goldie showed her appreciation by tilting her head just enough to give Amanda a swift, wet lick.

Amanda lifted her hand and wrinkled her nose. “Ick!”

Regina giggled. “She likes you, Mamm.”

“I guess so.”

To Roman's surprise, she bent a little and gave the dog a quick hug. “You're a sweet thing, for sure.”

“You're going to get all wet and sandy,” Roman warned.

Amanda looked fondly at her daughter. “I'm a mother. One gets used to becoming a mess.”

“I can't imagine you ever being a mess,” he blurted before he could stop himself.

Amanda smiled, but immediately a faint blush colored her cheeks.

“I'm sorry. Sometimes I speak without thinking. But I do, ah, think you are pretty.”

“
Danke
.” She stood up and turned away.

Roman decided he had better retreat a bit and keep things light. “So, would you girls like to walk with us? We've been walking and chasing sticks and annoying crabs.”

“We can for a few minutes, but then Regina has a play date with Lindy.”

Roman noticed his cousin Beth and Lindy sitting on their back patio, obviously waiting for Regina. “How about we walk you over to Lindy, Regina?”

At the mention of Lindy, Regina whispered to Amanda, then after giving her a brief hug, ran toward Lindy.

He and Amanda watched as Beth and Lindy ran to meet Regina halfway, gave them a little wave, then retreated inside.

Roman was surprised at how quickly Regina had left her mother's side. “That was quick.”

“She's usually not so eager to leave me, but I do believe they're going to play house. Regina loves that.”

After another few moments, he gestured to Goldie. “Would you still like to stroll?”

Amanda looked doubtful. “If I do . . . ”

“I promise, we'll keep things easy. I won't tell you again about how pretty I think you are.”

“Roman!”

“I'm sorry. From now on, we'll only talk about what you want to talk about.”

“Or not talk at all?” She smiled when she said it, so he wasn't sure if she was testing him or not.

But he didn't care. She was the first woman he'd ever not been able to stop thinking about. She was the first woman who'd intrigued him enough to want to push aside all the boundaries he'd erected in order to keep others at a distance.

With her, he didn't think he could ever get too close. Just thinking about where his mind was going made him feel even more off-kilter.

But no matter what, he was willing to pass all her tests.

“It's okay not to talk at all,” he murmured. Deciding to get them going, he started walking, Goldie happily trotting by his side.

After a second's pause, Amanda followed.

Ah. He'd just gotten his way. Roman had never tried so hard to hide a smile.

 

Walking by Roman's side, Amanda chastised herself. She'd heard his compliment. She'd seen the look in his eyes. Wesley had once looked at her like that, as if he was smitten.

But she certainly was not. She had no business encouraging Roman's flirtations. She'd already found love. She'd already had courtship and romance and marriage. No person should expect more in a lifetime.

Especially since she had a daughter, too. Regina was almost the spitting image of her father, with her dark wavy hair. Watching Regina every day was a constant reminder of Wesley, and that was a good thing. A wonderful thing.

So why did she seem unable to ignore Roman?

Roman was being true to his word. He'd stayed silent, content to watch the dog's antics.

But now Amanda realized she was ready for something more. “So, what possesses a man to want to borrow animals?”

He shrugged. “At home, I work in the fields, of course, but my favorite chores involve the animals.” He looked at her. “Perhaps you think that's strange?”

“Not at all, though I have to admit that I don't have much experience with farms. Actually, I've never had a pet.”

“Not even a cat?”

“Not a one.”

When she noticed his grin, she felt slightly defensive. “What do you find so amusing?”

“Only that in my experience, it's rare to find an Amish woman who's not used to farm life. Back in Berlin, most people live on farms. Those that don't work in an offshoot of a farm—like a cheese shop. And almost all of us have a horse or raise chickens or at least have a barn cat.”

“If you lived here, you'd meet a great many women and men who are the same as me. The Amish lifestyle is different down here. But it's not like I've never been around animals. I did grow up in Pennsylvania.”

“I don't mean to sound critical,” he replied, looking a bit contrite. “It's just unusual to me. That's all.”

“Tell me about Berlin. I suppose it's much different in the winter.”

He laughed. “It's about as different as night and day! Right now, it's terribly cold and snowy in Ohio, even though it's the beginning of March. We still get lots of snow into April there. Right now, you'd be hitching up your sleigh in heavy snow, and bundling up in coats and cloaks and scarves and mittens.”

“And?”

“And it's hilly there.” He looked out into the distance, just as if he were staring at a giant postcard in front of him. “Really hilly. The roads are winding, and there are lots of trees. In the fall, the leaves turn orange and yellow and gold. Tourists come from all over, just to look at them.”

This time, she couldn't hold back a smile. “Tourists come to see leaves?”

“They come for more than that, I reckon. It's peaceful. Quiet. Out in Holmes County, the pace is slower, and not simply because we're Amish. You have to live more slowly because we're dependent on the Lord's seasons and His weather.”

“The leaves are all gone now, right?”

He nodded. “Yep. The trees are bare, but that's okay, because you can see the red cardinals that much better. Or winter hares. And deer.”