Razing Grace: Razing Grace Part 1 (13 page)

I flick through the selections on Netflix and smile when I click on the horror genre. Truth be told, I’ve always had a fascination with horror movies, but I could never watch them while I was practicing my faith. I’m not sure who I’m angrier at, or if I can even be angry at anyone but myself, but I feel like a big part of me is lost without return. I’m broken and cannot be fixed; I just have to learn how to live with the cracks that now help pave my future—if I even have a future, that is, and knowing my luck as of late, I probably don’t. So am I angry at Raze? No. Kurr? Yes. The Priest? Like no other anger I’ve felt before. But am I pissed at Raze? Hell. Yes. And I’m not touching the long list of reasons why I’m mad at him yet.

I push play on “The Hills Have Eyes” before snuggling back into the cozy warmth of my blanket. I’m only into the opening credits when I hear the loud moans coming from the other room. “Really?” I throw my arm over my eyes before pulling myself back together and picking up the remote, turning it up louder. I smile, sinking back into my bed with the loud sound blaring out of my television. Screw you and your pornstar moans, ya bunch of skank ass hos. Tsk tsk, don’t be jelly
,
Mellie… you know how much your dirty little mind craves being shackled up with Raze again
.
I drop my arm to the side of my body, sinking deeper into the big fluffy blanket when my door creaks open and the hallway light beams in. My head snaps towards a body standing at the threshold. My stupid hammering heart calms itself once I notice it’s Miles.

“Miles!” I fall back onto my back, the puffy blanket blowing up around me. “You scared the crap out of me. What’re you doing?”

Turning the volume down on the TV, I sit up. He’s wearing black sweatpants with no top. Really? Is this a test? Because I might fail if Miles comes any closer to me looking like that. He has an angry scar that slices its way down from his shoulder blade all the way over his finely sculpted torso. I offer a small smile, knowing that having a scar that large and angry must have a very big story behind it. The bigger the scar, the bigger the story.

He steps inside and kicks the door closed behind himself.

I draw my knees up. “Miles?”

“Sorry,” he mutters sheepishly, running his hands over his long dark hair and pushing it back away from his face. “I heard your TV, noticing the time, and thought it was odd, so I jumped out of bed to check on you, but when I opened your door, I heard the live porn show happening a couple rooms down and sort of dropped my balls and dived into your room because if Raze catches me outside your room at four a.m., he’ll feast on them for months.”

I relax, my arms loosening on the grip they had on my knees. I pat the spot next to me. “Sit. Do you like horror movies?”

He watches me carefully, scanning me up and down and pushing his hands into his pockets. “You watch horror movies?”

I shrug. “I’ve always been fascinated by them, but I knew it was wrong if I watched. Come, sit.” He turns towards the door before turning back to me. I roll my eyes. “He won’t come in here. He’s a little busy. Sit. You can go back once you’ve heard him leave, or whatever.”

He takes a slow step toward the bed, dropping down furthest away from me. “Will you hound me with questions I can’t give answers to?”

I hold up my fingers. “Scout’s honor. I promise.”

He relaxes against the headboard and I push play on the movie.

“So you’re not a nun anymore?” he asks just as the movie resumes.

“Nope. I don’t deserve it.”

“Why do you say that?” he asks.

The question is genuine so I don’t mind answering. “Because of what happened to me while I was in the dungeon. What I felt, how much I…” I pause, running my tongue over the bottom of my now very dry lips. “Loved it.” He moves and I turn my head to face him. “Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t mean to enjoy it. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have,” I finish on a whisper. “But I did, and for that, I can never go back. This is me now, and I’m still not sure who ‘me’ is.”

He laughs lightly. “I wasn’t judging.” Sure he wasn’t.

I nudge my head. “So who are you anyway? You don’t stand behind Raze’s every move like the rest of his soldiers, but I can see that you’re his most valued soldier. You drift in and out, sort of like a ghost.”

“I thought you said no questions?” He cocks his brow.

I blush. “Sorry.” I take my eyes back to the television.

He waves me off so I look back towards him. “Raze is my best friend, I guess you could say. Well, as close to a best friend as you can get with someone like Raze.”

I turn toward him slightly. “I wouldn’t know.”

“What? Raze?” he questions.

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know.”

He moves his leg to tuck it under his other leg. “I met Raze when he recruited me seven years ago. It was an insta-friendship sort of thing…” Miles laughs. “Anyway, he found out that I was a runaway from my shit parents and sort of took me in from then on.”

“So…” I look around the room. “This is his house?”

Miles looks at me. “Yeah, whose else would it be?”

“But I mean he’s young. How?”

Miles tsks at my question. “Nah-ah. Not answering that, baby girl. Watch the movie.”

I smile. “Thanks for the talk.”

He sinks into the bed more. “No problem. I figure, better make it worth it, you know, just in case you cost me my balls.”

I laugh, lying down onto my side. We watch the rest of the movie with no more questions.

MILLIE

A blood curdling scream yanks me out of my sleep and I shoot out of the bed with my heart pounding against my chest. When I look up at the TV, I see that Netflix has continued with the next movie in line. “Crap!” Raking my fingers through my hair, I look to where Miles was last night only to find that part of the bed empty.

Flicking the blanket off me, I walk towards the closet and scan through all the clothes. Almost every item of clothing in this closet looks more like something Melissa would wear, not something I’d wear—well, not like something I used to wear, so maybe I need to get used to it. Start light, work your way up.

I pull down some dark skinny jeans and a loose tank, then quickly slip in and out of the shower. After changing, I pull on the Ugg boots that are sitting on the floor and throw on a cardigan. I leave my hair to trail down my back all the way to my tailbone. I wouldn’t say I was blessed in the looks department, but my sister and other people, males and females, would tell me I was “hot”. My hair is naturally blonde and it falls down my back in natural soft waves. My eyes are a bright blue but the rims of my irises are almost black, making my eyes pop more. My face is blemish free and is a little on the pale side, but it’s all me. My cheeks also hold a natural blush and my eyelashes are dark, thick and long. My lips, on the other hand, are large and plump. I used to have a decent butt, but because of my recent diet, or lack of, it has disappeared along with my healthy boobs. I usually have petite curves with a pinched-in waist and hips that sprawl out—I’m usually all woman.

Pulling open my bedroom door, I begin walking down the hallway just as Cassia is leaving her room in a short tight miniskirt and tight crop top.

I smile politely at her as I pass.

“Why do you wear so many clothes?” she asks, sounding disgusted.

I’m shocked, really. “Why do you not?” I mumble under my breath. I’ve noticed since being out of the dungeon that my filter has been malfunctioning a lot lately. I’m beginning to think that maybe there is a thing called a “humanity switch” because I’d say mine was on its way out.

I walk into the kitchen to find Raze standing near the sink, looking out the wide windows which sit above the sink. It was the first time I had noticed outside because it was dark last night when Miles and I made sandwiches. Or rather, when Miles made my sandwiches. I giggle under my breath at the memory.

“Morning!” I stop at the threshold and look at Miles, who’s reading the newspaper at the dining table while sipping on his coffee. His glasses are on this morning and there’s just something incredibly hot and different about Miles. He intrigues me on multiple levels. Or maybe it’s just the glasses, I’m not quite sure. Then I remember him coming into my room last night and how much I would have probably licked his abs had he let me. Yeah, nope, I think it’s just Miles.

Raze has kept his eyes on the backyard, standing in his grey sweat pants which are falling off his narrow waist in a way that has my mouth watering. His rippled back has one big demon tattooed over it, but if I look closer, I notice there are also some faded scars as well which all look like they’re in the format of a tally. That’s another question that is going in the “Millie’s questions” box. The early morning sun glistens against his tanned skin, and it’s the first time I’ve seen all his tattoos in the pure light of the day, and boy are they amazing. There’s not a fleck on his flesh that isn’t inked. It was obviously done by someone extremely incredible and talented. Clearing my throat, I make my way to the dining table which sits off the kitchen, in between where the kitchen and the living room meet. The morning sun glares through the floor-to-ceiling windows. It truly is a spectacular home.

I look at Miles, pulling a chair out beside him. “Hey, where exactly are we?” I whisper to him, hoping Raze doesn’t hear.

Miles places his coffee on the table and smiles just as Raze walks into the dining room, leaning on the doorframe with a protein shake in hand. He takes a drink, his eyes remaining on mine, and I fight the urge to run my eyes over his sweaty muscles.

“Where are we?” I question to Raze.

“Las Vegas,” he replies bluntly.

“What?” I whisper, shock evident in my tone. “But where was the base?”

“You think I’m going to fucking tell you that, pet?”

Excuse him? I’m pretty close to letting my lip run free.

“Have a good night?” I change the subject.

His eyes narrow before the edge of his mouth kicks up in a smirk. “Yeah, I did. Didn’t get much sleep though, you?” he hits back smugly.

I lean back in my chair and run my fingers through my hair to push it out of my face, all while keeping my eyes locked on his. “Same here, didn’t get much sleep, either.” I smirk, my tongue running over my bottom lip. Miles places his foot over mine under the table and presses down on it slowly but painfully, which only makes my smiling intensify.

My eyes scan down Raze’s massive chest and I point to the numbers which are tattooed over his pelvic bone. “Interesting place to put them. I wonder if Beast and Hella had theirs tattooed there too.” Raze leaves the dining room and I look to Miles who’s glaring at me. I mouth “What?” to him and he shakes his head, picking up his coffee again and going back to reading his paper.

“Millie, in here, now.”

I stand from the dining table, widening my eyes at Miles before giving him a wink. He shakes his head with a smile, and just as I walk past him, he leans back on his chair and swats my ass with a loud slap. I pounce forward. “Ouch!” I yelp between my laughing. Walking into the kitchen, Raze nudges his head toward the stairs with his hand outstretched, and though I follow, I whack his hand out of the way as I pass him. He laughs and drops it before taking lead. He carries on down the hallway until we reach the very end and then he opens a red door and waves me in.

“What? Now you want to be a gentleman and let me go first?” He pauses, stepping in behind me and closing the door. “Little too late for that. I heard the moans last night. There’s nothing gentlemanly about you, Mr.” I take the first step which leads up to what I’m guessing is his bedroom. The entire third level must be just his bedroom.

His hand catches mine. “Is that what this attitude is about?” He nudges his head up and down my body.

I pull my hand from his. “No. The only thing that annoyed me about that was the fact that it woke me at four a.m. and then I had to put on a movie to drown out the dying chicken sounds.”

He follows me up the stairs. “Dying chicken sounds?” There’s a hint of a humor in his tone.

“Mmm-hmm.” Once I reach the top of the stairs, my breath leaves me. “Holy crap!”

The entire room is one big circle which has floor-to-ceiling windows as the walls. I’m guessing it’s so he has a view of the entire property. His massive bed sits to the left with a couple of bedside tables and his closet which is behind the bed. The stairs are in the middle of the room but everything is placed in a way that doesn’t disturb the view.