Ready To Love Again (14 page)

Chase shook his head and chuckled, but he wouldn’t give away anything. She let him pull her along. He handed a pair of tickets to a man standing inside the entrance. When they stepped to the other side of the fence, Katie looked in wonder at the scene before her.

They were standing in an outdoor theater situated under the stars and surrounded by trees. Chase led her down the dirt path while she tried to take in every detail around her. The stage was set with a medieval castle, and on each side were two wood-burning fire pits. Rows of carved benches that sloped on a hill were provided for seating.

They found an unoccupied bench in the middle, and Chase set down the picnic basket.

“So what do you think?” he asked.

Katie shook her head, still amazed that a place like this even existed. “I think . . . I’m not in New Mexico anymore.”

He barked out a laugh and wrapped a blanket around her, pointing for her to take a seat on the bench. Chase then uncorked the bottle of wine and poured them each a glass before he set the bottle back in the basket. The containers Angelo had given him came out next, and he handed one to Katie.

She knew it was a dessert because there was cocoa powder sprinkled on the top, but she wasn’t sure what it was called.
 

“It’s tiramisu. Have you never had it before?” Chase asked.

Katie shook her head. “No. What’s in it?”

“You’re asking the man who doesn’t cook?” he said with a laugh. “I’m not exactly sure. I know it has espresso and some kind of pastry. I think the creamy stuff is mascarpone cheese and whipped cream.”

He held a dessert-filled fork to her mouth. It seemed so natural yet very intimate. Katie hesitated before she opened her mouth, and he slipped the fork between her teeth. Chase’s eyes locked on her lips when he pulled the fork out, and heat rose to her cheeks. The dessert melted against her tongue, and she swallowed, humming in approval. Chase’s eyes moved from her lips to her eyes before looking away as if avoiding her gaze.

“It’s good,” she whispered.

He nodded and fiddled with the blanket in his lap before he picked up his wine and drained the glass in one swallow. They sat in silence, both continuing to eat their dessert while they waited for the show to start. Katie was wondering if she’d done something to make him clam up when he turned back to her and smiled. “You haven’t asked what we’ll see tonight.”

“What are we seeing?” she asked.

“
Camelot
—where true chivalry was invented.”

Katie rolled her eyes. “It figures you would find this interesting,” she said. “All the door opening is getting to be a bit much. Would you take off your coat and let me walk over the mud with it, too?”

He clutched at his heart as if in pain. “You wound me with your words. I can’t believe you’re even asking. Of course I would.”

Chase gave her a small wink, and Katie felt a flutter in her stomach. She bumped his shoulder to let him know she enjoyed their banter.

The play started, and she was sucked in from the beginning. The actors moved across the stage and interacted with the audience, making the whole experience magical. The tale of King Arthur and the star-crossed lovers, Guinevere and Lancelot, was heartbreaking but with enough comic relief to make the production balanced.

Throughout the play, Katie would feel Chase’s gaze on her, but when she turned toward him, he’d look away. By the time they were ready to leave, she was convinced he was as attracted to her as much as she was to him.

Chase gathered their things, and they walked back to the car side by side. “So what did you think?” he asked in a quiet voice after they settled in his car, their fingers knotted together on the console again.

“I loved it. It was moving to see Guinevere so torn between her two loves. She loved her king and didn’t want to betray him, but how could she deny her feelings for Lancelot?”

Chase gave her a rueful smile and looked back at the road. “I suppose loving two people would be a struggle, but I think your assessment is half-right. She didn’t love Arthur. Lancelot was the one she truly loved. So it was loyalty versus love. In the end, she wouldn’t choose and lost everything.”

“Isn’t loyalty just another form of love?”

Chase shrugged. “I suppose you’d have to love to feel loyalty, but I think the point being made is to not let your loyalty blind you to what matters most.”

“Which is?”

He chuckled and played with her fingers before looking over at her. “Love, of course.”

“I didn’t take you for a romantic, Dr. O’Donnell.”

“Really? The fancy dinner and outdoor theater didn’t tip you off?”

She smiled and placed her hand over his. “Maybe a little.”

Comfortable silence stretched until they pulled into her driveway. That’s when Katie started to feel nervous.

Chase walked her to the door, and after she unlocked it, she turned to look back at him. His blue eyes seemed brighter when they stood under the porch light.

“Would you like to come in for a little while?”

She couldn’t believe she’d asked without a squeak in her voice. Chase looked deep into her eyes, and she watched different emotions flit across his face. His head gave a subtle shake before he let out a long sigh.

“It’s getting late, and I have to be at the field early, so I should probably get home.”

Katie felt the urge to run inside and hide for the rest of her life. The familiar sting of rejection crept up.

“Sure. No . . . that’s fine. Um . . . well then, I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

He smiled and nodded. When she began to turn away, his hand wrapped around her upper arm, and he pulled her toward him. Katie stood as still as she could when he ducked his head toward hers. Closing her eyes, she waited for the moment their lips would touch, only to feel his warm mouth on her cheek for a brief moment. Chase pulled away, and her eyes snapped open to find him already backing down the stairs.

“Good night, Katie,” he said before he turned and walked back to his car.

“Good night,” she answered in the darkness when he pulled out of the driveway.

Katie went inside and plopped down on the couch, going over in her mind why he hadn’t kissed her, but she couldn’t come up with a good explanation. The evening had been perfect—until her faux pas and his hasty retreat.

After she’d analyzed their date for almost an hour, she pushed down her insecurities and concluded she was more than ready to move on. She wanted the kind of love she’d seen with Daniel and Gina. Chase seemed to be everything she wanted, but he was dealing with something deeper than she could comprehend. Katie wondered if this had been the first date he’d been on since his wife passed away, and her heart broke a little for him at the thought. She might be ready, but she wasn’t sure if he was.

Chapter 8

Chase berated himself for the hundredth time.
What in the hell is wrong with me?
He reflected on the evening’s events while he drove through the thick fog that had settled in downtown Carmel, casting an eerie silence over the empty streets.

He’d wanted to kiss her the moment he picked her up for their date, yet when the opportunity presented itself, he had run. He swept his fingers through his hair, tugging on the ends in irritation.

When Angelo winked at Katie at the restaurant, Chase had felt a twinge of irrational jealousy. He knew Angelo’s flirting was harmless, yet that hadn’t stopped Chase from wanting to pull her closer.

At the theater, he’d been captivated by her delight. He’d watched her more than he had the play. That was when he had his second urge to kiss her that night, but Chase had frozen as visions of Terri in the same theater assaulted him. He knew his guilt was unfounded, but that didn’t stop him from feeling it. Chase had tried to reason with himself while he watched Katie’s eyes shine with excitement as the play went on.

By the time he drove her home, he’d been beyond thinking with a clear head. He had panicked and left her standing on her doorstep after a brief kiss on the cheek.

After he parked in the garage, Chase went straight to the liquor cabinet in the dining room and pulled out the bottle of twenty-three-year-old scotch. He dusted it off and poured a glass. Without hesitation, he downed the shot in one gulp and then poured another to the brim before tightening the lid back on the bottle. The living room was dark, and he maneuvered around the furniture until he could look out the huge bay window toward the ocean. For several moments, he contemplated if he wanted to brave the cold, foggy air and head out to the solace of his sanctuary.

The light flicked on, making him jump, and Chase turned to find a grinning Gina. She walked in and dropped herself on the leather sofa, pulling her legs under her. The look in her eye told him she wanted the details of his date, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready to give them. With a heavy sigh, he sat next to her and let her take his glass from his hand.

“So you brought out the Macallan?” she asked after taking a sip. “That means you’re either celebrating your date or trying to forget it. Which is it?”

Chase shrugged his shoulders, took the glass from her, and tipped it back, taking another long drink. He relented after she stared him down. “Probably a little of both.”

“What happened? Did she like the theater? What about the restaurant?”

“Francesco’s was great, as usual. Well . . . except for Giovanni’s shameless flirting.”

Gina giggled, knowing all too well what he meant. “What about the theater?”

“It was fine. We had Marietta’s tiramisu, and the fog didn’t come in until after we left.” He swirled the contents of his glass and thought about the end of their date. A scowl marred his brow.

“And?”

“And what?” He hoped she would drop it.

Unfortunately, Gina was like a pit bull. She grabbed on and didn’t let go until she got what she wanted. Her piercing blue eyes bore into him until he couldn’t stand the uncomfortable stare any longer. It was the same look their mother had given them as kids to make them comply.

Chase looked into his glass and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” he whispered.

Gina scooted closer and wrapped her arms around him. He wanted to have someone tell him he was being stupid, so he opened his mouth and explained his fears, his guilt, and his desire for the pretty brunette who had turned his world upside down. With patience, Gina waited while he poured out his heart. She held him close, trying to give him some comfort until, embarrassed, he pulled himself off the couch and walked to the window.

“So you wanted to kiss her, but you didn’t?” Gina asked.
 

He gave a curt nod and continued to stare out the window. The leather couch squeaked, and he watched her reflection in the glass while she came up behind him.

“I know you’re feeling guilty, but you have to know it’s okay to move on. Right?”
 

Chase turned and looked at her when he spoke. “Of course, I know that. Terri told me—” His voice broke, and he coughed to cover his pain. Pushing down his emotions, he waited a moment until he knew he could speak without his voice cracking. “She told me she wanted me to be happy,” he whispered, looking down at his shoes, “but I can’t just forget what she meant to me.”

“Chase, just because you move on doesn’t mean you stop loving her. It’s okay to find love again. Terri will always hold a piece of your heart—she’s the mother of your children—but that doesn’t mean you have to be lonely for the rest of your life.”

Gina pulled him into a hug. Stepping back again, she gave him a brilliant smile.

“You know, I think Terri would have loved Katie,” she said with a tear in her eye. She kissed his cheek before she started back toward her room. “Chase?” Gina turned around and caught his eye. “Liz wasn’t very happy about your date this evening. She was pretty mean to Shawn, but I think that might be because he and Tony were caught reading her diary.”

Chase cringed, knowing they had to have gotten her full wrath. “I’ll talk to them tomorrow.”

He grabbed his jacket and went out the back door, following the stairs down to the beach. The crisp air had a sting to it, and the breeze whipped at his hair. Chase bundled his coat closer and walked down to the water’s edge. The fog was low and danced across the waves, and there was a magical current in the air. He stood there for a long time, feeling the effects of the cold on his nose and ears.

Chase couldn’t bring himself to talk to Terri as he had in the past. This time was different. He’d made up his mind, and it was too hard to think about her while he did the one thing he hadn’t in over thirteen years. With little ceremony, he took off his wedding ring and held it in the palm of his hand.

“I love you,” he whispered before turning back to the house.

~*~

The morning was pure chaos. Tony and Shawn terrorized Liz until she screamed and threw books at them to get them out of her room. Chase intervened and put both boys to work helping Gina get all the supplies together for the opening day carnival, then he slipped inside Liz’s room and found her going through one of the scrapbooks her grandmother had made for her.

“Honey, are you okay?” He sat on the edge of her bed and pushed the hair off her shoulder. She looked up at him, and there were tears in her eyes.