Real Vampires Don't Wear Size Six (10 page)

“Guess we might as well be, we’re stuck with them.” Penny waved that black card in front of me. “You want to call Caryon and tell him so?”

“No, thanks. I’m ignoring him and his torments. Tonight we deal with your sister. Did Josh call too?” I brushed my teeth, listening as Penny described the message from the frat boy. Seems he’d left a long apology, then a stammering request for a real date. If she could forgive him.

I rinsed out my mouth and turned to face her. “Call him back and say no.”

“I already called him back and said yes.” Penny glared at me. “He’s cute. He’s nice. I want to give it a shot.” She toyed with that damned black card. “And his blood smelled delicious.”

“That last sentence just sealed your fate, Penny. Not gonna happen. When is he supposed to pick you up?” I managed to snatch the card. I wasn’t ripping it up. The number might come in handy.

“It
is
gonna happen, Glory.” Penny turned and stomped into the living room. “We’re meeting in your shop at nine tonight. Hitting a late movie. Deal with it.”

“Deal with this.” I was on her heels. “You will not taste his delicious blood. You will not drink from mortals. You will only drink synthetics while you live under my roof.”

“You’re kidding me. I can’t believe all those vampires I saw at Damian’s stick to synthetics. In fact, it was obvious that they didn’t.” Penny’s hands were fists. “There were mortals around that I’m sure were providing meals for some of them.”

Okay, I had to admit even Jerry did the mortal thing from time to time and Damian’s crowd had been known to keep mortal pets. Nice that he’d let Penny see that. “You’re right. A vampire with experience can drink from a mortal.” I grabbed one of Penny’s fists. “But you, my dear, are about five minutes old and haven’t learned to control your blood-lust. Put you close to a mortal and you’re liable to go too far. You want to kill Josh?”

She sighed and unclenched her hand, drawing it away from me. “I did. When he left me on that hilltop. But now I just want a date with a cute guy. Is that so horrible?” Her eyes filled with tears. “I want to be normal.”

“The normal train left the station the night you were turned.” I pulled her down to the couch. I hoped this didn’t turn into a sobfest. “Tell you what. Meet Josh. I’ll follow you every step of the way. I’ll do you a favor and stay out of sight unless I see you start something that will become dangerous to him. I’m afraid that’s as close to a normal date as you’re going to get right now.” I hit the fridge and grabbed a cold bottle of synthetic. “Did you drink one of these yet? You need to fill up before you get close to him.”

“Thanks, Glory. I’m sure you have better things to do tonight than trail after me.” Penny twisted off the top of her bottle.

“I do, but I’ll deal.” I opened my own bottle and noticed I was running low on regular synthetic. “Hey, stay away from the Blud-Lite, it has alcohol in it.”

“Glad you warned me, though I kind of figured that out from the name and the label.” Penny smiled. “Blood with alcohol. They make vampire drugs too?”

“Yes. That Simon Destiny the demons want is a vampire drug dealer. Vampire Viagra is his big moneymaker.”

Penny grinned. “You’re kidding. Vampires need Viagra? My illusions are shattered.”

“No need.” I smiled back. “I don’t know if you’re, um, experienced or not . . .” I remembered that nineteen in this day and age wasn’t the same as it had been way back when. I’d married at sixteen, been widowed at twenty, and had found Jerry and bliss at twenty-two.

“I’m not a virgin.” Penny winked. “I even lived with one of my lab-rat boyfriends for a while last year. My parents stroked out, but they got over it. Sending me away to college when I was so young, they had to get used to the fact that I was going to try everything I could as fast as I could, you know?”

“Not really, but let’s try to slow down on the vampire thing, okay? Just know that vamp men have got it going on and on.” I actually flushed. “Never mind.” I sat on the couch. I could see myself in a mirror. Wow. I grabbed my purse and pulled out the compact I carried strictly for the powder. I opened it and gazed into the mirror I’d never bothered to look in before. My skin was so pale. When summer got here, maybe I’d try one of those spray tans.

“Earth to Glory.” Penny sat beside me. “You’ve really not been able to use a mirror in hundreds of years?”

“Nope.” I snapped the compact closed. “Wonder how long this’ll last. The demons have got to know I’m not harvesting souls for them, no matter how bad the person is who crosses my path.”

“But maybe you’d be doing a service. For the Lord.” Penny looked serious.

“Penny, don’t even think about it. The Lord wouldn’t want you to even speak to a demon, much less trust one. You can’t do anything connected to hell without payback. I had a demon inside me and I got to know their kind way too personally. It’s an impossible situation. There’s no way I could just merrily send bad guys to hell and not get sucked down there myself. Besides, who am I to decide who is good and who is hell-worthy? I sure don’t want that kind of responsibility.”

Penny’s phone rang. She picked it up off the coffee table. “It’s Jenny. I’ve got to answer this.”

“Fine. But you can put her off if she wants to meet. Until after your date with Josh.” I sat back and waited for her to answer the phone.

“Hey, sis.” Penny listened to her sister exclaim over how hard it had been to reach her. “Yes, I was in the lab. Had to turn off my phone.”

“Someone saw you outside the house late last night. Bein’ pushed into an SUV. Are you okay?” Jenny’s voice sounded a lot like Penny’s only with a bit more Texas twang.

“What? Outside the sorority house? Someone’s been taking those weird sleeping pills again.” Penny laughed and rolled her eyes at me. “What would I be doing lurking outside your house? And in the middle of the night?”

“I know. Sounds nuts, doesn’t it, Pen?” Jenny laughed. “So where are you? Can you meet for coffee? I got the cutest new blouse to show you. And there’s this math test comin’ up. I just can’t get the hang of this one type of equation. I know you could explain it and it would click. We are always on the same wavelength. Am I right?”

Penny’s eyes filled and she shook her head. “Can’t meet tonight, Jen. Sorry about the math test. Judith in your sorority can help you. Go to her. I’ve got a date. Really cute guy. I’ll tell you all about it later. Oops, got to go. He’ll be here soon and I’m gonna jump in the shower.” She ended the call, then sobbed.

“Aw, Penny, I’m sorry.” I rubbed her arm.

“M-m-math! I always help her with math. But now I can’t because I might bite her on the neck and d-d-drain her dry.” Penny fell over and cried on my shoulder.

“No, you can’t because you have a date. All in all, you handled that very well.” I patted her back as my robe got damp.

“I lied to her.” Penny sat up and wiped her eyes.

“Get used to it. It will become your way of life with mortals.” I glanced at the clock, then got up and walked toward the bathroom. “If you’re serious about going on this date, we’d better get moving. My hot water heater is ancient. It has only one long hot shower in it or two short ones. I’m taking a quickie, then you’re next. Wash your hair and let me see what I can do to fix it.”

Penny jumped up. “You really hate the way I look, don’t you?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Didn’t have to. First you take me to your shop and pick out new clothes. Next, you tell me to wash off my makeup and then give me your lipstick, muttering about your hairdresser the whole time. Now you tell me you’re going to fix my hair like I’m a freakin’ Barbie doll!” Penny stomped toward her bedroom. “Give me some space, Glory. You’re my mentor, not my mom.” The door slammed.

“Thank God!” I yelled down the hall. Well, how was that for gratitude? I gathered up some clothes and went into the bathroom, stopping for several minutes to study my face in the mirror. Size-six Glory had had cheekbones, none here. No, not tempted. The price was too high. But having a reflection was so unbelievably cool. How long would I have this unexpected treat? No telling. But I was going to make the most of every second. I stripped and tried to see more of me in the small glass. Forget it. There was way too much Glory and not nearly enough mirror.

I hurried through my shower and jumped into my clothes, then knocked on Penny’s door.

“I’m sorry, Penny. I’m bossy. What can I say? I took my mentoring job off the rails to where it didn’t belong.” I turned the knob and poked my head inside. If she’d run again . . . But, no, she was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

“I’m not an idiot.”

“That’s obvious.” I sat on the foot of the bed.

“I know I look better in green than in horizontal stripes.”

“It’s not polite to read my mind.” I sighed and jiggled her bare foot. “But I have a clothing store. I’m really into fashion and have been trying to disguise my own figure flaws for centuries, Penny. So maybe I wanted to pass on some hard-won information.”

“I get that.” She sat up and looked at me. “I want to look good for this date. Really good. I know nothing can come of it. He’s a mortal, I’m a freak. But for once I’d like a hot guy to be into me. A guy who doesn’t buy his clothes at Goodwill or pay more attention to his hard drive than to the woman sitting next to him at the computer.”

I grinned. “I am so there with you.” I held out my hand and helped her get up. “Now go shower, wash your hair and blow it dry. I’m going to nip down to the shop and pick out a few things for you to try on. Okay?”

“I’d love that. Last night that cute guy Trey really looked at me, danced with me too. And I know it was the green blouse and your lipstick.” She poked me on the arm. “I admit it. You seem to know what you’re doing.”

“Wow. Ya think?” I grinned at her while she dug into the clutch I’d given her the night before.

“Here’s my credit card. Put whatever you think I’d look good in on there. I have a nice limit. My grants are big.” She grinned back at me. “I did mention I was a genius, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.” I gave her a quick hug. “Feel free to raid my makeup bag while you’re at it. It’s on my dresser in my bedroom. Please stay away from the Goth look.” I picked up the worn bra on the foot of the bed. “And, Penny, we’re going to have to buy you some new underwear soon. Been a while since you’ve lived with that boyfriend?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “And it didn’t last long. He was more of a slob than I am. Imagine two geeks who never remembered to buy the coffee or wash the sheets living together. It was a nightmare.” She brushed past me on her way to the door. “I was much happier with a cleaning service and my battery-operated friend.”

“Too much information, Penny.” I shoved her toward the bathroom, stopped to throw on my own makeup, then headed downstairs. I loved a makeover and Penny was ripe for one. It took me a little longer than it should have because the full-length mirrors in the shop kept stopping me. Oh, woe is me. That could not be my hips and butt. In the fifties and sixties, I’d worn a panty girdle. I’d hated it, but maybe it was time to pull it out again. Of course it would push everything up to a muffin top . . .

I was thoroughly depressed—which I figured was what the demons had wanted when they’d given me my reflection—by the time I took Penny my clothing choices for her date. She actually accepted my advice without argument. At nine o’clock she was blown dry, dressed right, and ready to meet Josh. He didn’t recognize her in the pale blue cardigan and dark-wash jeans.

She tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, remember me? I’m Penny, the girl you—”

“Sorry, guess I had way too much to drink that night.” Josh turned red to the roots of his blond hair, then he smiled. “Looking good, Penny.” He glanced around the shop. “First time I’ve been in here. I’m not sure I get the vintage thing. I mean, they’re like strangers’ hand-me-downs.”

“Vintage is cool, Josh.” Penny led him toward the door. “Retro chic is very in right now. But obviously not for everyone.” She smiled as he opened the door. “What movie did you want to see?” She totally ignored me as I lurked near the dresses.

I signaled my night clerk and headed out after them. Josh helped Penny into his SUV, acting like a gentleman. I was glad to see him treating her with respect. But I wasn’t so happy as I probed Penny’s mind. She’d forgotten to block her thoughts and they were all about trying to control her fangs as he shut her inside the dark car and strolled around to get in. Penny had a bad case of the “I want to taste a mortal” cravings.

I jumped into my convertible I’d parked at the curb and followed them at a discreet distance. Yes, this felt weird, but I wasn’t about to let Penny dine on this guy. He pulled into a space at a mall that had a multiscreen cinema and parked. Soon they were headed for the theater. I paid for my ticket and tried not to roll my eyes when I saw we were actually going to see the latest vampire flick. I wondered whose idea that had been.

Josh bought popcorn and drinks. Penny forgot and sipped hers, coughing until Josh pounded her on the back. Too bad. She’d been pretty cool up to that point. After that she just pretended to drink, shaking her head when he offered her popcorn, though I saw her nose twitch and her eyes water. I could sympathize. It smelled delicious. I had to give her props for playing mortal like a pro as I trailed them into the theater, one of dozens of women and a few men. Josh was really taking one for the team with this show. Obviously it was a chick flick.

I settled two rows behind them, ready to critique the vamp action on the screen and in front of me. No fangs on the vamps? Like I’d gnaw a vein open. But the fight scenes were great. Loved the werewolves. I was so engrossed, I almost missed Josh making a move on Penny. Hmm. His arm was around her and she leaned into him. Sweet.

Then I got caught up in the movie again. A love story. I’m a sucker for romance. Especially since my own love life is a twisted tale of—Wait a minute, where had they gone? Penny and Josh had managed to slip out before the movie was over. And I wasn’t going to get to see which guy this girl picked? Damn it!